


It Takes An Order

by kindofanoxymoron



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Bad advice Anakin, Force dreams, Force sensitive temper tantrums, Grandpa Han and Grandma Leia shhhh its a secret dont tell Rey, I don't know what im doing this is my first fic since like my first ever fic hahaaaaaaaaaaa, Knights of Ren - Freeform, Knights of ren ocs, Kylo Ren Being a Little Shit, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, Lenient Snoke, Obsessive Behavior, Over protective kylo, Pre TFA and Post TFA AU, Raising Rey, She dont know how to control her boundless baby rage, Single parent Kylo Ren, Snoke is still a dick but hes exasperated, Snoke using Rey to control Kylo tbh, Starkiller Base, They turnin up... on a Primeday, This got real serious real quick, This is what happens after reading angsty fics for too long, Toddler rey is a grump, Very OOC, You gotta read something cute or fluffy, babysitter Phasma, but be afraid of Papa Bear Kylo Ren and his adopted child Rey, it was a PruHun fic, nonromantic reylo, or kylo will flip, or very very cracky, phasmom, potentially knights of ren babysitters?, potentially very OOC, straight from the underground (academy no Jakku nonsense), switching POV, tbh no idea where im goin with this, wine mom hux
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-05-24 00:01:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 83
Words: 97,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6134536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kindofanoxymoron/pseuds/kindofanoxymoron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Right before the Slaughter at Luke's Academy for the Young and Gifted, Ben and Snoke make a deal. It takes a village to raise a child but it takes an Order to raise a Rey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hux to Phasma: But if I'm the Uncle and you're the babysitter, then who's the paren--  
> Kylo Ren: *Enters the command center with Rey* Hux, watch her for a second. *Leaves and faint sounds of screaming and destruction ensues*  
> To be continued.

 

"So, what you're saying is that you're allowing this girl to stand between you and your destiny? That you'll only join me if you get to keep her and if I pledge that no harm will come to her? You would throw away your grandfather's legacy for this _imp?_ " The disembodied voice in his dreamscape asked irately. Ben had been communing with this being for quite some time, being taught how to use his anger to tap into his hidden potential and being told stories of Darth Vader that his Uncle had neglected and refused to recount. Ben had come to realize that this being was not as omnipotent as he appeared to be. At the present time Ben had come to grasp his growing powers. He knew that for this _thing_ to devote so much time and energy on training him, it had to be desperate in swaying him. Ben himself didn't really care, being the moody teenager he was plus the balance of Light and Dark within him left him in a gray area. He knew after being at the Academy for merely a year that he had been shipped away because of his mother's fear of that balance. It was after he realized that that the being 'Snoke' first made contact with him. Feeding off his teenage angst, alienation by his peers, and feelings of abandonment at the hands of his parents, his nightly mentor eventually divulged details of an attack on the Academy he had planned. Snoke hadn't been planning on potentially having his plans foiled by some child Ben cared for.  

"She has a name. Her name is Rey and she _will_ be spared and kept safe if you want me to join your 'First Ordinate' or whatever you called it. I know you're only after me because of my lineage and Force Sensitivity, you can't fool me." He could practically _hear_ the voice scowl but he remained apathetic. "Relax, her life is all I want in exchange for my cooperation. I don't think I'm asking for too much here."

"She will be your weakness. You will fall like your grandfather. You--"

"Yada yada yada, you're a broken record, Snoke. All I want is Rey and I'll personally end the Academy all by myself, I have no home here and no compassion for any besides her." The voice growled before responding.

"The girl will live. Are you content, you insolent child?"

"Hmm, let me see. No."

"So help me, Force--"

"She'll be placed under my care and when she's old enough she'll become my padawan. She is to be given the same amount of reverence as I by your subordinates, I'll be needing a 'sitter or a nanny for when I am on missions. She must not know of my actions and deeds, whoever tells her shall personally meet a gruesome end by my saber-- I will be making my own saber after this-- _and you will not taint her_." His voice grew to a low growl after he listed things off.

Whenever it came to the the safety and happiness of Rey, his sole friend, he became incapable of controlling his anger if someone wronged her. He couldn’t care less about what they said about him, but force forbid anyone talk poorly of Rey while he was around. He had grown to feel as though he had taken her under his wing, or atleast thats what he wrote the paternal feelings he had towards the girl off as. To him, Rey was like a little bird and everyone else were hawks. The only reason he hadn't already killed any other padawans was because Rey stopped him but not before he struck fear into their fragile, forming hearts. It didn't take long for people to avoid the girl and only talked to her when spoken too and always with mirth for fear of evoking her shadow's wrath. Wherever Rey was, Ben wasn’t far behind and vice versa.

At first the girl had been an unwanted bother and interruption to his training. It didn’t help that Luke felt that she was a good influence on him. The young Solo reluctantly agreed, seeing as to how he could never work himself up enough to hit her despite how much he threatened her in the beginning. He knew she was dropped off rather unceremoniously at the Academy when she was a mere gangrel but he didn’t care until she learned to walk and talk. It was only then that she never let him have a moment of peace and quiet. He found it pained him, though, when he would come across her expecting to be bothered only to find her staring, misty eyed, at the sky. Moments like that caused him to hold the girl close to his heart and whisper words of comfort until she stopped crying for reasons she didn’t know. One specifically hard day for Rey, he told her that when she felt upset to come find him because he understood. From then on, he’d often be called out of practicing saber forms or meditation to hold the snot and tear filled mess of a child and rub her back gently. She eventually grew out of it, much to his relief. He acted as though he was glad, to his uncle, that she stopped coming to him when she was distraught but in truth he was disheartened. He wanted the child to rely and trust him for anything and everything. Ben never thought he’d miss the little wench’s presence and interruptions until she stopped. It was then that the tables were turned. He went to her practice sessions and interrupted her. He levitated pebbles over her head while she meditated and dropped them on her head, scaring the force out of her. After Ben complained to her about how her sudden absence affected his training and that she should keep coming around again, they once again became Ben and Rey, the Hawk and the chick, the cub and the lion. The two were inseparable. It was a wonder Ben hid his attachment to Rey from Snoke for so long. Ben himself was impressed and used it to gauge the extent of his abilities.

While at first Snoke felt threatened he quickly came to realize he could use the girl to his benefit: a failsafe way to control the dark boy. A sickening smile could be sensed in the darkness.

"After dark take the girl into the forest. You will find a transport there, feel it out with the Force. Tell her whatever you will, make her sleep, so you can get to work. You must leave no survivors. I know your uncle, the inept Jedi, is not on planet so forget about him. He is a task for the future, you are currently not prepared but that will change with time. I'm feeling quite generous so as a reward for leaving no survivors I will take the memory of Luke and the Academy away from her young mind." A sudden sense of apprehension came over Ben. Snoke sensed this of course. "Do not worry, she will remember you, just not anything else. I feel you would prefer that." A chilling amusement filled the voice as Ben Solo woke up in his bed at the Academy one last time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben shares a tender moment with Rey in his quarters.

He went through his day as usual, silently brooding interrupted only by short lived bursts of sunshine and smiles because of Rey. He couldn’t meditate no matter how much he tried to clear his mind. It was filled with thoughts of Rey and the sins he had to commit later that day. After losing all hope of finding his center he dragged himself up and skulked his way to where the Younglings were practicing. Ben could sense Rey among the Force signatures and tapped against her mind with a gentle prodding to get her attention.

  _Rey._

 Her childlike focus on her lesson was broken as she turned to look around. She wasn't yet capable of pinpointing his signature so her eyes shot around looking for him in glee.

  _Ben, where are you?_ He had secretly been testing the waters of their so called ‘bond’ as his uncle liked to call it. Of course Rey wasn't told anything of it but Ben still learned how to communicate and as he did she simultaneously picked it up.

  _Rey, remember what I said before about trying to feel my energy through the force. Concentrate, feel the force and think of me._ He mentally gave the equivalent of a smile. He watched her close her eyes and still before they shot back open.

  _Ben! Ben I did it! Did you see?_ She nearly tripped over her own two feet as she ran to where he was hiding to hug him. She only reached up to his stomach though it didn't help that he had grown so much. He was already taller than his aging uncle. She looked up at him with a smile, she had lost her bottom canine on the left only the other day.

 “Yes, you did very well.” He purred as he picked her up under her arms to spin her. _The other Younglings would be jealous of how well you use the force if that knew._ “Remember, Rey, pride is only good in moderation and that envy leads to anger and anger--”

 “Leads to the dark side. You're starting to sound like Master Luke.” She teased, lightly throwing a punch in his shoulder.

 “Rigggght, yeah not happening. Master Luke is too stuck in his ways. I'm in no way like him, don't you think?”

 “I guess you're right, Ben.” He set her down gently and cupped her chubby cheeks, squishing them together.

 “Your hair is getting undone, I did it so well this morning.” He playfully pouted before patting her on the shoulders and directing her to his room. For Rey, Ben’s bed was where she felt most relaxed. As soon as they entered the small space she flung herself onto his mess of a bed and wrapped herself up in his blankets and she could smell his scent on his pillow. She let out a content sigh.

 “You're more like a father than a brother or a friend, Ben-- from what the others say of their's.” He was flattered and glad she thought of him that way but he couldn't help but detect a hint of sorrow in her young voice.

 “Rey, I can be your father figure if you would like. I'll take care of you better than Luke and your real parents ever did. I can treat you as my own and I can be your Master when the time comes. Would you like if I did that, Rey?” She sat up and looked at him with fragile hope.

“You will?”

 “Yes.” He hesitated. “Sweetheart.” The word felt foreign on his tongue but he found he didn't mind it when she leapt from his bed and flung herself at him. His quick reflexes allowed him to catch her so he carried her.

 "I'm so happy. Does this mean I get to call you Papa now?”

 “No it makes me feel old but I guess you can but only when we're alone and don't tell Master Luke or the others because they'll get jealous and fall to the dark side and we don't want that to happen, do we?”

 “If you say so.” Content with that he carried her back to the bed and set her down on it before undoing her signature three buns she liked him putting it in. He couldn’t really explain why he felt the urge to protect this young being and her smile, perhaps it was because of their bond. He let her look at her hair in the mirror while he switched on the commlink to inform his fellow padawans that Rey was with him so they wouldn't worry. “What ya doin’?” She inquired, skipping back to his bed, three buns bouncing as she did.

 “Telling the others not to worry about where you were and that you were with me.” He breathly said as he ran a hand through his hair.

 “Alright, can I braid your hair?”

 “Of course, anything for you.” She beamed at him and sat at the edge of his bed as he sat on the floor in front of her. He flashed her a gentle grin in response. Before long she comfortably draped her tiny legs over his shoulders to dangle in front of his chest as her small hands worked diligently through his raven mop. It was just long enough to cover the tips of his ears but he was growing it out, his padawan braid was what Rey liked to play with the most. She'd typically unbraid it only to braid it again whenever Ben let her which was every time and only when Master Luke wasn't around. It was sort of one of their many little secrets they shared.

 He glanced around his quaint quarters and the shelves and tabletops that were either full of Reys little trinkets and doodads or his scattered collection of holos. Since Rey was dropped off at the Academy his days of solitude and loneliness abated. Before she came his room was his sole sanctuary of self imposed solitude but now it was his warm welcoming nest. His room had gained character via the scribbles of lines and dates along the doorframe to his closet marking Reys growth. Every gift he put on display and every accomplishment Rey achieved he spoke of with pride in her. Perhaps it was secondhand feelings he got from his bond with her but Ben found he didn't mind at all. But tonight they'll have to abandon this haven. The first thing he taught himself after he discovered their telepathic ability was how to shield his thoughts so he hadn't a need to worry about her coming to know if the tragedy he will be forced to be the cause of. She was still a natural empath, though, to his and everyone else's chagrin.

 “What's wrong?” Her concerned voice broke him from his thoughts. Reys little hands paused their braiding. He could feel her at the edge of his consciousness trying to find a way in. Ben didn't want to lie, so he told a half truth and made sure to bury the dark deeds deep in his mind.

_Do you ever feel like leaving?_

_Leaving what?_ He pursed his lips.

_T_ _he Academy._

_No, we have everything we need here. Everything I want. You're here, why would I feel like leaving?_ She had made a good point he'd give her that much. Rey, having come here at such a young age, knew nothing of the galaxy beside what she'd been told and to her it was an abstract idea she didn't understand.

_You can only say that because you've never been off planet as far as you remember. I came here when I was a little over twice your age. This planet, Yavin-4, is a backwater place compared to Coruscant or Cloud City. You remember those holos I read to you with the pictures?_ She grunted quietly in affirmation.  _Well there are others too like Tatooine, where Luke and my grandfather are from. It's a desert planet with hot sands. I heard the sand there is coarse, rough, and irritating and that it gets everywhere._ He could feel her curiosity perk so he kept going.  _There's ice planets like Hoth--_

_What's ice?_

_It's--It's um, frozen water--_

_What's frozen?_

_It's what happens when water gets really cold. Sort of like when it gets chilly at night except much colder._ She absorbed the knew found information and stored it away in a little box in her mind.  _Anyway, on Hoth there are these things called Wampas, they're really scary. Big, ugly things. They're the things of nightmares apparently. But the point that I'm trying to get at is that I want to see these places. I want to go to these places but I won't leave without you so don't worry. I just want to let you think it over for a little._ He could sense her immediate fear and rose from the floor to sit beside her on the bed and to pull her into his lap to comfort her. The whole conversation was telepathic in case anyone was eavesdropping, spying, or otherwise listening.  _Rey, do you trust me?_

_Of course, Ben. I love you._

_Right, well tonight I'll come get you from the Younglings quarters after everyone's asleep so be ready to go._

_Why?_

_We're leaving Yavin-4._

_How?_

_I--I have some friends coming to pick us up._

_Can I tell anyone?_

_No, I'm sorry but this has to be kept secret, Rey._ Though she pouts and grips a bit of his tunic in her tiny fists, she

nods.

“I understand. I can't wait to see Tattoo!”

“And why is that, Rey?” He all but purred.

“You're from there, in a way.”

“Aren't you scared?” She shook her head. “There are spooky, scary sandpeople who kidnap helpless old women and children in the night. My great grandmother was a victim and died because of what they did to her.”

“Not at all because I'll be with you and you'll definitely protect me.” His heart was warmed at her blind faith in him. He couldn't help but place a kiss to her baby soft, brown hair before mischievously tickling her sides. His chest rumbled with laughter as she squealed. But then she snorted and at her embarrassment the room erupted with his deep reverberating uproar. He'd cherish this moment.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what I am doing.

Later that evening he came to collect her from the Younglings quarters to find her trying to be asleep in bed, he could sense otherwise through their connection. Because of their bond, her signature was a blinding yet comforting shine, like gold, while his was cool quicksilver. 

_ Rey, it's time. _ She didn't need to be told twice, for she was already flying out of her cot with unwittingly force enhanced speed.  _ Shh, try not to wake the others, Sweetheart. I can't turn the lights on so let's have another lesson, shall we? _ If she were a pet her tail would be wagging.  _ Stop trying to see with your eyes. Close them, in fact. Relax and concentrate on your surroundings to let the force guide you to me. Through the force you will see more than you can with your eyes.  _ She was always a quick study and was soon silently avoiding the others and the things left on the floor.

_ Ben, I see you!  _ He let her feel a bit of his approval as he pat her head and guided her out of the repurposed temple that was his uncle's academy and into the trees. He could feel multiple force signatures a ways off and decided to talk to Rey once they came upon the grassy meadow she liked him to take her to. She felt excited to be back to it and romped through the wildflowers and clovers but then stopped. The air was alight with her energy and was as intoxicating as ever but then Ben found himself choking on the thick heavy atmosphere it suddenly became.

_ Rey.  _ She didn't look at him with wistful cheer as per usual but with a thick shade of wizened sobriety that was unbecoming of her age of just 4 years old. Her emotionless stare froze him to his spot a few strides away. It chilled him to see her suddenly change.

“Ben, we're never coming back here. I saw it. I saw the Academy empty and silent and cold. Why is that, what is going to happen to the others once we leave?” Words were caught in his throat as he tried in vain to find an answer that would perhaps appease her. He didn't see it coming when his head suddenly felt like it was exploding and he fell to his knees gasping at her feet as the pain spread to his shoulders, progressively getting worse. “Tell me!”

“Rey, you gotta stop. C-Control yourself. You're hurting me.” As soon as the words left his mouth the pain abated and was replaced with numbness as her small frame collapsed in exhaustion in front of him. “Rey! Rey, Rey, Rey, oh gods!” He could barely form coherent thoughts as he flung himself to her to take her from the grassy ground. Her body felt like an empty shell in his arms, similar to how it felt when she fell asleep in his bed while he read and had to gingerly carry her to the Youngling quarters. A sigh of relief escaped his lips after he found her pulse still beating strongly and that her chest was still rising steadily. Brushing a strand of hair away from her face, he wondered in vain as to what came over her. It was not his Rey at that moment but someone else, a stranger, and he couldn't accept that. Rey was his and his alone, his to protect and to dote on but he came to the conclusion that it wasn't her anger that caused him agony. It was too visceral to be from just Rey, his little Rey. Rage began to consume him at the thought of someone else inside of her mind, using her. “How am I to protect you?” He whispered through clenched teeth as he raised his eyes to the night sky. “Grandfather. Grandfather, please. I need your guidance. There's no one else I can ask. I swear I’ll devote myself to your legacy if only you'll help me help her--”

“Oh cut the bull, I’ll help you only if you swear not to follow my life of failure but to forge your own, do you got that?” A blue green haze stood behind him, forcing him to take on a protective stance over Rey due to his surprise. Ben was speechless.

“Fracking Force! Who-- what the Frack-- you--”

“Yes, yes. Your estranged grandfather answered your call for the first time in like forever and all you can do is spout obscenities. How eloquent my progeny is, hmm?” Ben's ears flushed red, as did his cheeks. “Don't worry about it, Ben.” Anakin's ghost walked to crouch in front of Ben and his little Rey. “Now, as far as I’ve been told by my son, you're only around 14. So tell me why you have this girl and why you're holding her as if she's your child. She's, what, like 5?”

“4, actually.” Anakin waved his hand because it didn't matter how old she actually was.

“Doesn't matter. Why have you left the Academy my son put together with this Youngling?”

“We're leaving.”

“To go where exactly?”

“How do I know you won't go tell Luke?” As much as Ben loved meeting his legendary and infamous grandfather, loose lips destroy deathstars.

“Will what you plan to do harm him?”

“Not physically.”

“You're joining the dark side, aren't you?” The man who would be Darth Vader's face scrunched up.

“I'm doing what I have to.”

“I said the same thing once ago in a star system far far away. Whatever it is, I won't and can't stop you. If you're afraid I'll hate you because of your decision, I'll have you know that I could never hate you. I could never hate anyone in my family. I will always, always love you, my dearest grandson.” Ben found some comfort in that so he caved.

“You will probably hate what I've chosen to do but if you will listen I am willing to tell you.” And so his grandfather sat on the grass and waited. As he now sat in front of Ben, Ben could see the long scar that ran next to Anakin's eye and how, although the color was different, his own hair fell in nearly the same way when it was long.

“Before you begin, you have my mother's hair.” Anakin smiled mournfully but stayed mercifully silent as Ben said his piece. Through just the short introduction, Ben could tell his grandfather could never keep still for too long, for as he spoke Anakin pulled flowers from around him and braided them into a crown and then willed the force to bring him seeds of other plants and flowers after a few minutes of twiddling his thumbs.

“So that explains the force signatures I felt over yonder.” Anakin sighed. “The girl, Rey you said her name was, she has a strong connection with the force. You say she is bonded with you and that she used a strong manifestation of the dark side before she lost consciousness. She's much like me, I fear that her future is filled with conflict. Both inner and external. She's a balanced concentration of both sides of the force. As are you for that matter.”  _ I already knew that part. _ “Don't sass me with your thoughts, boy. I'm trying to help you. Manifesting is hard when you're a force ghost. You should be grateful.”

“Okay, okay. I'm sorry, grandfather.”

“I forgive you. If you're to take this girl as your own then she is my great grand daughter.” Anakin's voice was filled with love. “Perhaps not by blood, but Obi-Wan wasn't blood and I considered him my father. I suppose I should be proud that your scoundrel of a father let Leia name you after him. He was a great man and an even better Jedi.”  _ I never met the guy.  _ “Well you’re named after him.”

“You think I haven’t been reminded of that every single day of my life? He’s just one more of the legacies I have to live up to. But Rey, Rey will be free of all that. She’ll be raised without these big looming names and reputations. She’ll be allowed to do what I wasn’t able to do, she’ll be able to choose her own path.”

“Well that’s all swell and all but kidnapping her and committing mass murder doesn’t really seem the right course of actions, my dear. I of all people should know how haunting the massacre of younglings is on the mind.” Ben grunts in response.

“It’s not like I want to do it but I have to to prove myself to Snoke to spare Rey. Rey is all that matters to me in this world. She’s the only one to never push me away or feel afraid of what I’m capable of. Grandfather--” Anakin raised a finger to his grandson’s lips in understanding.

“We all have a destiny to follow. If this is what you feel is right then I won’t stop you but I fear I won’t be able to appear to you again... perhaps to Rey I will, once the time comes.” He gently brushes his hand over her hair. “Well, you should get going. Don’t want to keep your conspirators waiting.” Ben felt an unease fall into his stomach at the thought of being alone and lost again. “Don’t be afraid, Ben. I feel it too. The force will protect you, so let it guide you on your journeys.”

“But I still don’t know what to do!? What happened to Rey-- you-- help me!” Ben near cried out as his voice broke.

“I cannot help you in this, forgive me.” Anakin tossed a pouch of seeds to Ben which he caught. “I feel Rey would like to be able to take a bit of home with her wherever it is you’re going. Nature grounds her in the lightside. If you fear she will fall to the temptation of the dark, let her grow these plants. It’ll also give her something to do while you’re off murdering people.” Ben bit back a snide comment about Alderaan. “May the force be with you.” And as if he were never there, Anakin was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is settled into bed, Ben meets his Knights and christens himself Kylo Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All aboard the 'what the hell is taking so long to get to the good stuff 'train! Wootwoo

Surrounded by a sudden void in the force where his grandfather once sat, Ben stared blankly down at little Rey’s face. She looked serene, as if she hadn’t used the darkside of the force moments before. He was careful when he put the pouch of seeds into his tunic so as to not drop her or jolt her awake. She squirmed a bit as she was jostled by his large strides through the undergrowth. Before long he could hear a clamouring and he knew he was close to the ship. Suddenly he felt the cold end of a blaster on his back and could feel a few more pointed toward him in the shadow. On instinct he used the force to force push his assailant back and to freeze the blaster shots for a few seconds before redirecting them, with Rey still in tow. Just the act of stopping the shots for a few seconds drained him. He stood panting. 

“I am Ben Solo, son of Leia Organa and Han Solo, nephew of Luke Skywalker, and grandson to Darth Vader.” He proclaimed as at least a dozen expressionless helmets turned to face him out of the shadows. “I came here expecting allies and you dare to endanger Rey?” His rage cast ripples into the force around him.  _ How dare they dare to harm her, I would sooner die. _ The assailants were taken aback, some more than others because they were clutching their heads and probably force sensitive by at least a little. He could feel the darkness rising within him and force pushed another attacker into a tree, hard. Had he not realized that he was the target? They hadn’t even considered the girl a threat?

“My Lord,” the closest one began, dropping to his knees, “Supreme Leader Snoke sent us here to retrieve you, our new leader. We were expecting someone...  _ older. _ I apologize for our initial aggression. I am Asajj Ren, your co-commander.”  _ This is fracking unbelievable. I have to show them true fear for Rey’s sake. They will fear me; they will revere me-- for Rey. _

“Where is the ship?” His tone monotone but sharp.

“Just a ways farther, My Lord. Shall we carry the child for you?” One of the dark-clad warriors moved to take Rey at the flick of Asajjs fingers. Ben effortlessly kicked the offender in the chest, knocking the wind out of him.

“You won’t touch her.” He near snarled.

“Of course.” A startled Asajj replied.

Not another word was spoken until Rey was safely inside the ship, tucked away in a bunk.

  
“You.” Ben pointed a finger at Asajj Ren, the apparent second in command. “Get someone trustworthy to stay here. To guard the ship.” The knight nodded curtly before barking out commands. A stocky man entered, making sure to bow to Ben.

“This is Tyranus Ren, My Lord. He will be more than capable of following your orders.” Ben nodded as Tyranus handed him a black tunic with an accompanying belt and hooded cape, black arm wraps, and of course black pants with suspenders-- but no shirt. Tyranus gestured to the floor where tall black boots were set. At first he was confused at the lack of a shirt in the collection but brushed it off.

“So be it, do not wake her from her sleep, she really needs it. Judging from what happened when she fell asleep, I would keep your distance.” He patted the man's shoulder before exiting the ship and finally taking a second to really look at it. “What is this?”

“An Upsilon Class command shuttle, My Lord. It was made specifically for you and is effectively yours after this mission.” Asajj Ren relayed. “Every top officer of the First Order has one.”

“Can it be modified?”

“Of course, what were you thinking of changing? I can contact the maintenance--”

“That won’t be necessary, Asajj.” He silenced her with a flick of his wrist as he stretched his back in his new outfit and adjusting his cowl. He realized now that there were only six of them. Four of them he hadn’t known the names of yet. “What are all of your names? I feel that in order to be a competent leader I should at least know what to properly address you with, wouldn’t you agree?”

“I, as you know, am Tyranus Ren.”

“Oh, so you do speak?” Ben couldn’t help but provoke the man, seeing his hackles rise but lower as Asajj turned her mask to him. “I apologize-- that was rude of me, I--”

“Do not apologize, you are the Master of the Knights of Ren. You are the first Knight. You outrank us in all ways.” Asajj conceded.

“I'll keep that in mind. So, names. Masks, helmets, or whatever it is you all have on your faces, off with them. I want to see your faces.” One by one they took off their helmets.

“I am called Sifo-Dyas Ren, Your Lordship.” A dark toned male bowed.

“Oppress Ren.” A short female spat. She looked no older than Rey. Ben rose an eyebrow.

“And how old are you, Oppress Ren?” She sniffed indignantly.

“Old enough to kill.”

“Fair enough. As long as you don’t get in my way, you’ll live.” He could hear her scoff but he couldn’t care less.

“Abeloth Ren, sir. I hope we’ll get better acquainted soon.” A seductive female mewled with a wink, much to his discomfort.

“Can it, Abe. You can’t sleep with everyone you meet.” The man who called himself Sifo-Dyas scoffed with a shake of his head and a look of disdain. The woman simply shrugged.

“I’m Sidious, Sidious Ren.” A hulkingly large man whispered from the shadows. Ben jumped a bit because he hadn’t sensed the man. The man was sitting, curled into himself as if he was taking up too much space. “I apologize for startling you, Milord.” Ben merely nodded at him with pursed lips.

“This is all of the Knights of Ren, Lord... Ben?”

“No-- no, I won’t use that name anymore. After today, Ben is dead. From his ashes... King-- Kill-- Kyber-- Krayt-- Kylo, Kylo! Kylo Ren shall rise.” Ben, now christened Kylo, smiled animalistically with a fire in his eyes. With this new name he was one step farther from the expectations of his family. With this new name he could be anyone he wanted. With this new name, he can pretend that it’s another person killing. He can pretend that it isn’t his fault.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of the Academy takes place, Tyranus Ren the designated babysitter emerges, and Oppress Ren is a fun sized threat factory. Meanwhile, Rey is dreaming with no idea that she's asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: The Knights and Kylo are the seven deadly sins.   
> I wish I could say this'll be updated consistently but inspiration is a fickle thing, you understand.

The destruction of the Academy hadn’t taken long but the screams and faces of the padawan learners and younglings he had to kill were echoing in his ears and flashed into his eyes whenever he shut them. There had been a heavy stench of burnt flesh, blood, and cackles could be heard amongst the high pitched screams. His Knights had wasted no time in laying waste in their own ways. He noticed that Asajj Ren liked to sit back and revel in the destruction before taking part. Abeloth Ren liked to force freeze her victims so she could brush their faces or leave a kiss to their foreheads before running them through with her vibrodaggers. Kylo couldn’t watch Abeloth work for more than a few seconds at a time.  _ Do it for Rey. Do it for Rey. _ He had to keep telling himself as he cut down the padawans.  _ Do it for Rey. _

They returned to the shuttle with clothes soaked in blood that started to cake at the top of the fabrics while deep red dripped from the ends of the cloth. At first the smell was so intense he wanted to vomit but he found he was growing used to it.

“There is a fresher aboard I hope?” He prompted his second in command.

“Yes, Lord Kylo Ren.” Asajj answered.

“Fresh clothes as well?”

“Yes, My Lord.” Sifo-Dyas Ren replied this time.

“Is there a private quarters for my companion and I?”

“Yes, Milord.” Sidious chimed. “There is really nice bedding in there, real quality stuff.” Kylo huffed in response as they drew near the ship. Tyranus was seen standing watch and upon not immediately seeing Rey with him Kylo broke into a run, causing the wary guard to yell out in surprise. Ren barely managed to get the doors open before crashing into them and getting inside to see a still unconscious Rey where he left her. Finally, he could sigh in relief. She was safe; they had kept their word. His bones suddenly felt heavy but he forced himself toward the fresher before he relaxed any further. He watched as the still fresh blood ran off his skin. He had handed his soiled with blood clothes to Asajj and was given fresh ones to change in to. He tried in vain to scrub the sins of his actions away with the blood until his skin felt raw and red. Before he could break down he thought of Rey and how all of this was for her safety and he found that it comforted him somewhat. By the time he left the fresher, he felt better.

“Next for the fresher.” Kylo muttered as he made way for Rey and her tiny sleeping form. Gently, he picked her up to carry her into the room that was now his private quarters. She was apparently sleeping in Oppress’s bunk and he could hear her complain to whoever would listen to her about it as he stood in his quarters with Rey sleeping in his arms. Smoothly he used to force to move the soft blanket down so he could lay her under it. She murmured incoherently as she got comfortable again, sticking her finger in her mouth. He was surprised yet not surprised she still sucked her fingers. Then again she was only 4 afterall. He gazed down at her feeling jaded as if he had aged immensely within the last few hours. Sighing he pulled the other side of the covers down and slipped into bed as well, he was thoroughly exhausted both mentally and physically. Almost as soon as his head hit the soft pillow he fell asleep with Rey’s drooling face being the last thing he sees.

  
“So it is done, then.” Snoke said in Ben's dream. 

“Listen, can I have one night without you in my head? I'd like to be able to sleep peacefully once in awhile.” Ben could hear the voice growl.

“Well, you've renamed yourself and got acquainted with your Knights of Ren then.”

“We left no survivors, like you asked, Snoke.”

“Boy, do not test me now. What is it you renamed yourself?” Snoke was indeed curious.

“Kylo, Kylo Ren.”

“I see...” Snoke muttered. “Tell Asajj Ren to set the coordinates for Moraband.”

“Why?” Ben couldn't stop himself from asking. “What's at Moraband?”

“It is where we shall finally meet, boy. No more questions. I'll allow you this night to rest.” Snokes presence vanished and in its ghastly place Kylo could faintly sense Rey through their connection. He followed it and found himself back in the meadow of flowers. In the middle he could tell Rey was humming to herself and making flower crowns.

“Rey?” He whispered uncertainly as he cautiously took measured steps toward her.

“Ben, is that you?” She shot up and ran to him. He dropped to his knees with arms open for her. “I didn't know where you went off to so I stayed put. Did you go to your friends?”

“Rey?”

“Yes, Ben? You were gone for a while. I was lonely.” She snuggled her face into his chest.

“Oh, Sweetheart, this is a dream.” He realized after a beat. “We've already met up with my friend's but you... fell asleep.” Perhaps it was best not to tell her what happened? “We're leaving Yavin-4 as we speak. I have to go now. Don't be afraid, Rey, this is all a dream and I'll be right with you when you wake up.” He left her consciousness and his eyes sprung open regretfully. Kylo rose from the bed agonizingly slow due to his aching body. He turned to look at her peaceful form before rising from the bed. He moved to the common area where Tyranus Ren was tinkering with his vibrosword and Oppress Ren sat eating rations.

“Where's Asajj?” He croaked out, his throat still heavy with sleep.

“Cockpit.” Oppress answered with a sneer. Just as he was passing her she reached out and grabbed his forearm in a surprisingly strong grip. “Don't think that since you're our leader that you're better than us. As far as I know you're only this tall runt trying to fill his grandfather's shoes.”

“Oppress!” Tyranus scolded.

“Until you earn the respect you demand I'd watch your little girl or something will happen to her while you're not paying a--” With a choked gasp her throat was suddenly in his grasp and she was dangling in the air.

“Was that a threat I heard? You can threaten me as much as you like. But if you threaten the girl, I will not hesitate to end you.” He snarled through barred teeth as he tightened his grip. Opress’s eyes were full of disdain as she struggled to breath but he could see fear beneath it. As suddenly as he began he threw her to the ground with a grunt. “Tyranus.”

“Yes, Lord Kylo.” Tyranus saluted.

“Watch over my girl, I would hate to see any nerf herders try to do anything to her while I am busy.” Kylo remarked with one last sneer at the gasping girl on the floor before entering the cockpit.

“What was all that about?” Asajj asked without looking up from her holopad. Her air of familiarity hinted that she didn't know it was Kylo, it amused him.

“Oppress Ren decided it was a good idea to challenge my authority by threatening bodily harm to my ward.”

“Oh! I apologize for my indiscretion.” Asajj all but threw her holopad in surprise. He held his hands up in an unthreatening manner.

“It's alright, relax. Honestly, I'm still not used to all this formality. I'd much prefer to just be Kylo Ren.” He sat in the copilots seat with a sigh. “The Supreme Leader gave me coordinates for Moraband. He wants us to go there.”

“Allow me to inform everyone, My--  _ Kylo _ .” Asajj Ren corrected. “We should be ready to take off in 15 minutes give or take.” He grunted in acknowledgment as she left. He made his way back to his quarters but saw that only Oppress was there in the common area.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey awakens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave any scenarios in the comments that you'd like me to include once we finally settle in.

“Where is Tyranus Ren?” She scoffed, taking another bite of her ration. 

“Babysitting, your Lordship.” He had forgotten he ordered the man to do just that but Kylo didn't grace her with a response, deciding instead to enter his room. Tyranus was sitting with a leg crossed, peeling a fruit with a small blade. Rey was awake and listening intently to whatever it was his Knight was telling her as he passed her pieces of freshly sliced fruit.

“My Lord--” Tyranus Ren began, rising to stand attentively.

“At ease.” The knight nodded and sat once more. 

“Ben!” Rey exclaimed, fruit in her mouth once she saw him. “You look just like Tyranus.” She beamed in awe as she pointed a finger at Tyranus. 

“Yes, my dear.” He purred, rubbing her head. To Tyranus with a professionally clipped edge, “when did she awake?” 

“Roughly a few seconds or so after I entered the room, sir.” 

“Ty was telling me about the rest of your friends.” Ben pouted in petty jealousy at her nickname. 

“Rey, want to know what my friends call me?” He whispered as if it were a secret. She nodded excitedly. “They call me Kylo and we all share the name Ren. Tyranus Ren, Kylo Ren.” He gave examples.

“Can I be Rey Ren?” 

“No.” He replied all too sharply. Her excitement deflated into sadness. He sighed and pulled her into a hug. “Ren is a heavy name, too heavy for your little shoulders to carry.”

“I don't understand. Its just a name?” 

“You'll understand when you're older.” 

“You're really starting to sound like Master Luke.” Rey rolled her eyes. Kylo cast an uncomfortable glance at Tyranus who he saw looked just as uneasy.

“Rey, Sweetheart, you can't call him Master Luke anymore. He's not your master. Call him Luke Skywalker.” She took his words in solemnly and tested the name out on her tongue under her breath. “How are you feeling?” He cleared his throat. 

“I need to go to the potty.” 

“I’ll show you where it is, do you know how to do it yourself?” Ben asked, setting her down on the floor. His voice belied the anxiety he was feeling. 

“Tch, I'm a big girl now, Ben. Of course I can go to the potty by myself.” He couldn’t suppress a nervous chuckle, she cast him an indignant glance. Kylo had to wait outside the fresher room at her request. Tyranus followed him. 

“Sir, may I ask you a question?”

“Go ahead.”

“Am I to believe I am to be your companions keeper from now on?” 

“Is that a problem, Tyranus Ren?” 

“Not at all, My Lord. I was simply inquiring so as to know what I should preoccupy myself with when I have no other orders in moments like now. I am honored to be given the privilege of caring for the young Miss.” 

“Please, when I am busy or otherwise not with her, take care of her but do not baby her--”

“Ben, I need help. I can't reach the sink.” Rey interrupted meekly, poking her tiny head through the doorway. 

“Lemme help you with that, upsidaisy.” Kylo huffed as he lifted her high enough to reach the soap and faucets. He let her dry her tiny hands on his pants as he led her to the common area where Oppress Ren was nowhere to be seen, much to his relief. Rey held onto his pinky and ring finger with her fist. This was the first time she'd seen a shuttle up close and personal. He could sense from her unconsciously projected thoughts that she could hardly wait to see all the parts that made it work. A memory of his childhood on the Millennium Falcon with his father teaching him the parts as he made repairs with his uncle Chewie resurfaced briefly but he buried it once more with a swallow. 

“I'm hungry.” Rey murmured. 

“Tyranus, is there any more of those fruits you had before?” He nodded. “Please peel some for Rey while I check on the progress of preparing for our departure for Moraband.”

“Moraband?” Rey and Tyranus Ren said nearly in sync. 

“Yes. I'll be right back, dear.” Kylo placed a peck to her forehead before leaving her to Tyranus.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey scares Kylo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea where I'm going with this, please send help.

“Kylo.” Asajj addressed him after nearly crashing into him as he entered the cockpit. Abeloth and Sifo were in the pilot and copilot's seats respectively. “I was just about to inform you that we are prepared to leave, sir.”

“Abeloth is a pilot?” Kylo couldn’t help but sound incredulous.

“Yes, the best out of the six of us. When we have off-planet missions together more often than not she’ll fly us.”

“Where are Sidious and Oppress?”

“I believe Sidious Ren is resting, Oppress is in the fresher doing gods knows what.” Asajj rolled her eyes.

“She seems quite young.”

“She is not much younger than you I presume. You’re what, sir, twenty?”

“15, actually.” Asajj Ren’s eyebrows shot up. “I was the tallest and oldest padawan at the Academy. I was the first.”

“I see... did you hear that, Abe? He’s 15.”

“I heard, I heard. I’ll keep my grubby mitts off him until he’s of age at least, I promise.” She raised her hands in mock offense. Sifo gave her the incredulous side eye with the accompanying raised brow. She play punched him in the arm as Kylo left the cockpit muttering to Asajj about taking off as soon as she wanted. 

“Lord Kylo, your girl, I--” Tyranus Ren was nervous and Kylo could almost smell the fear.

“What is it, Tyranus? Where is Rey?”

“I-- I don’t know, sir.” He croaked.

"Stars, you had one job.” He pointed a finger at the slovenly knight. Kylo closed his eyes to concentrate on finding her through the force. They weren’t off the ground yet so she could even be in the forest.  _ Rey, where are you? _

_ Come find me, Ben. You can do it! _

“Lord Kylo?” Tyranus whispered in confusion before the Master of the Knights of Ren narrowed down on her signature. She was in the closet in his quarters.

“How in the-- You’re not the brightest star in the galaxy, are you, Tyranus?” He spat quietly, pushing past the bewildered knight. “She’s in the damn closet.” Before he opened the door he collected himself and reined back his irritation so he could effectively go along with her game. “Oh where, oh where, could my little star be? Here?” He emphasized taking loud steps as he opened the adjacent closet to her. He could hear her giggle and scuttle around. Kylo let himself smile. “Or how about... here!” He said with dramatized emphasis but the closet was devoid of Rey. It took a moment for him to even comprehend that she wasn’t there. He was so bewildered by her absence in where he was certain she was located that he couldn’t form words. His lips moved of their own accord before his mind caught up and he settled on seethingly worried. “ _ Rey!?” _ He bellowed as he slammed the closet shut. In his rage, the lamplights of the quarters flickered and the ship vibrated. Kylo fell to the floor, thinking that the shuttle was lifting off. It stopped when he was distracted by preparing himself to be jolted and it was then that he understood that it was him that caused it. A meek squeak of a voice brought him back to the present.

“Ben? What was that?” Rey asked as she crawled out from a compartment filled with extra blankets that he hadn’t considered big enough for her to fit in. Ben’s throat went dry and he found it hard to find his words upon seeing she was unharmed. “Loth-cat got your tongue?” She tested, trying to lighten the mood.

“I-- I got... angry?” Rey rolled her eyes.

“That’s nothing new, laser-brain.”

“Rey, Rey you have to be careful, sweetie.” He motioned for her to come to him, she did without hesitation and stood in between his outspread legs as he leaned back against the wall. “Don’t do that again, you scared the force out of me. What if you got hurt? Don’t leave Tyranus’s side when he is watching you, I nearly...  _ removed _ him--”  _ From the realm of the living. _ But he didn’t include that. He reached out to hold her tiny hands but felt a cold object in her hand. “What is that?” At his question she pulled back her hand and pursed her tiny lips.

“A secret.” Ben's frown was a near scowl and was about to berate her about her inability to keep secrets for long before she continued. “A present for you. I don’t know when I was born but I figured this could be my new birthday.” His scowl fell into a soft smile in appreciation at her mistake.

“My dear, you don’t give gifts to people on your birthday. People give gifts to you.”

“Then it’s your birthday too.”

“Rey, you can’t just--”

“It’s  _ my _ birthday so I can do what I want. So it’s your birthday. Your birthday is today.” Her tone was one that Kylo found he couldn’t argue with.

“Primeday, the 6th of the first month, 18 ABY. Got it? That’s today's date, Rey.”

“Does this mean I’m five now?” Ben shook his head as he rose to his feet.

“No, you’re still four, and I am still fifteen. Next time the sixth day of the first month comes around you’ll be five.” He pat her head. “When are you going to give me my present, actually? I’ll give you the present I have once we reach our new home, I think you’ll like it.” He winked at her and tilted his head to the door. “Wanna see what it looks like to fly?” 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oppress Ren is jealous and tries to impress Kylo with her wonderful collection.

Rey wasted no time in running past him and his gangly self out into the common room. Tyranus swiftly moved out of her way as she barrelled past, not paying him any mind. 

“Tyranus Ren.” Kylo began once Rey was out of whispering earshot. “If it wasn’t for her fondness of you, I may have just killed you for your inability to keep track of her. Instead, I recind your babysitter status. Be grateful.” The reprimanded knight merely nodded. It wasn’t really a lie that that was the only reason he let him live, the other was that he didn’t know if he would be punished for killing him by Snoke. Kylo Ren stared Tyranus down as he brushed past him to follow his little one. He met an obstruction in his path as he rounded a corner and his immediate reaction was irritation but when he looked down he saw that it was his Rey taking slow steps backward and grabbed onto his pant leg before running to hide behind him. Instinctively he pushed her farther behind him gently as he looked up to see a scowling Oppress Ren whose expression betrayed her attempt to mask her jealousy. Jealousy of what, Kylo didn’t know.

“Is there a problem, Oppress Ren?”

“Not at all,  _ sir _ , just that your runt doesn’t know not to run in cramped quarters.” Her eyes never left Rey as she spoke. “You should teach her better as her guardian, don’t you think?” Barely capable of regulating his breathing to keep calm at her provocation, he spoke through barred teeth.

“She’s never  _ been _ on a ship before so  _ excuse _ her if she isn’t  _ aware  _ of the proper  _ etiquette _ .” Something changed in Oppress’s expression. It was so subtle that Kylo wasn’t sure if he was imagining her lip twitch upward in a devious half smile or if it was more of a snarl.

“Of course, Kylo Ren.” She decided to drop the formalities and go for a touch of familiarity instead. “Can I show you my collection?” Her sudden change of demeanor put him on edge as Rey gripped tighter onto him. “It won’t be long, I promise.” She smiled then, but he wrote it off as her excitement for her collection of whatever it was. He sighed, finally deciding to go the easy route and conceding.

“Fine.” He patted Rey’s back and motioned for Tyranus to guide her to the viewport in the commons. “Show me this collection of yours, Oppress.”

“Follow me!” She chirped, nearly skipping toward the crew quarters.

“So what does this collection of yours comprise of exactly?”

“You’ll see soon, be patient. I think you’ll like it.” She turned to smile at him. He couldn’t help but follow her due to his mounting curiosity.

“I take my collection with me when I go on missions with the others because I know they’ll be safe.” She muttered as she stopped beside her bunk to open a compartment under it to reveal at least a dozen holobooks. “They’re all about the Empire and Sith. I have some that even tell of the ancient Sith on Korriban before they mated with the banished Jedi.” She pulled out a few and handed them to his eager hands. All that was available to read at the Academy had been censored and all oppositional leaning works were removed. The chance to learn more excited him. He had fallen for her bait.

“Do you have any other the Sith Lord Darth Vader?”

“You mean your grandfather? Of course, he’s, like, one of the most famous Sith Lord of our time. I have his mask actually. It's all burnt and deformed though. I have one that lists all the prominent Sith Lords and apprentices. From the Sith’ari King Adas to Darth Bane and Darth Zannah, Darth Revan and--”

“Darth Revan? I’ve never heard of him.” She gave him a gaping look of disbelief. “Do you have any holos on him?” She wasn’t expecting him to want to know more of Darth Revan instead of his grandfather. She was sure he was obsessed with him which is why she even brought up the damned helmet.

“Y--Yes, but they’re back on base. I couldn’t take all of my holos.” At the way his body seemed to deflate she let out a breath and placed a hand on his forearm after standing back up and shutting the compartment. A small stack of books were in his hands. She pursed her lips when he didn’t notice she was touching his arm.

“Can I borrow these?” His childlike behavior made her smile. It was contradicting his reputation he had to uphold of being a tough, heartless krayt dragon. She nodded at his question. “I think Rey would like a bedtime story and it would be nice to have something to do to bide my time while she sleeps.”

“I overheard that you were 15.” She paused before continuing, allowing him ample time to interject. “I’m sorry for threatening your... girl. I honestly thought you were her father by the way you acted. We all thought you were her father.” She paused again but left her mouth open to let him know she was just thinking of how to word her next thoughts. She gently ran her hand up and down his arm as she continued, liking how he glanced over to where she was touching him but made no move to remove it. “I mean, you thought I was around her age but I’m 17.” He rose an eyebrow, skeptically looking up and down her tiny self. “Hey, I may look like I have the body of a youngling but that’s only because I bind my chest.” She retracted her arm and crossed them in front of her chest, nearly touching his as she frowned, craning her neck to look up at him and his light pink cheeks and ears.

“I think Abeloth Ren will be inconsolable if you try to get to me before she does.” He teased, cleared his throat, and turned to leave the room of bunk beds. It was her turn to blush. “Except you threatened Rey. You’re going to have to try harder than that.” She guffawed at his back as he left. “Rey, dear, how is the view?” She heard him purr before she growled and kicked the wall. He was properly infuriating she’d give him that.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren becomes a king.

Kylo was in a better mood when he returned to Rey’s side. Perhaps it was how he bested Oppress at her own game or it was just Rey’s fervor trickling through their bond. When he saw that she was staring out the transparisteel viewport into space blankly he knew that she was in one of those moods again. 

“Rey?”

“Ben.”

“What’s wrong, dear, you can tell me anything, you know.”

“I know.” She sighed as Sidious and Tyranus bowed and left the area. Kylo nodded after seeing that they were being considerate and giving them privacy. Kylo Ren sat the books down on the plastisteel table before taking his seat beside her. She was on her knees leaning forward on the back of the cushion with her chin in her hands. When he sat, she too went into a sitting position.

“Then what has spoiled your mood, Rey?” She pulled her legs up to her tiny chest and wrapped her arms around herself.

“I wanted to see space for the first time... with you.” He pulled her into a bear hug but she pushed him away. He was shocked at her rejection. “But then you had to go with her to see her  _ correction _ .”  _ Ah, jealousy, I see. I saw her collection, Rey. Not correction. _

“No, you don’t see anything.” She retorted verbally, too embarrassed by her mistake to say it telepathically as she rose and made her way back to his quarters with sharp heavy footed steps. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, musing it. Taking a deep breath as he rose, he quickly caught up with her just as she tried to reach high enough to open the door.

“Do you need help?” He asked quietly, knowing that she liked to do things by herself before asking for assistance. The question just seemed to irk her further.

“I can do it myself.” She spat as she took a step back from the door and rose her hand up toward the locking mechanism.

“Using the force?”

“Shut it, let me concentrate.” He felt a surge in the force and the lock was opened, allowing the door to open. “Stop following me, you traitor.” He stepped into the room behind her just as the door started to close once more.

“Rey, that’s rude. I have done nothing to deserve being called a traitor.”

“You are a traitor! I saw her, inside her mind when she asked you. She’s dark, Ben. When I looked into her-- Ben, she wants to take you away from me.” She choked as tears began to fall. His heart broke as they did.

“Oh, Rey.” He comforted as he dropped to a knee in front of her, taking her upper arms in his large hands and rubbing his thumb over them. “No one can take me from you, you know this.” He pleaded his case. “I know Oppress has other intentions, Rey. I’m not stupid.”

“You’re plenty stupid.” He scoffed in mock offense as she smiled and sniffled.

“I’m hurt.” He mused as he used his sleeve to wipe away her tears. “Do you want to redo my braid?” She shook her head.

“Isn’t it time to cut it off? You’re not a padawan anymore, right?”

“Right. Well, do you want to do the honors, sweetheart?” Walking over to where he would assume scissors were and were when he opened the drawer, he handed them to her and took a knee again. This time, she was standing on the bed trying to look regal. He smiled at her attempt.

“Sir Ben Organ-Solo--”

“Organa.” He corrected.

“Right. Ahem. Sir Ben Organa-Solo, I now pronounce you no longer padawan.” Her voice was slightly deeper, he assumed that it was her trying to seem kingly. “Raise your head.” She snipped the braid at the same length as the rest of his hair.

“How do you know how to do this?” Kylo couldn’t help but ask. She put her weight on one leg and cocked an eyebrow, braid in hand.

“Everyone knows about prince and princesses,  _ Ben,  _ get with the times.” He didn’t bother telling her that he was technically a prince.

“This seems a whole lot like a knighting ceremony than a coronation.”

“A carnation?”

“Coronation.”

“What’s that?”

“When a royal ascends to the throne.”

“Then you’re a padawan becoming a king, my king.” He let out a throaty chuckle.

“Whatever keeps your ship in hyperspace.” He mumbled but continued at a normal volume. “Then are you my queen or my princess?”

“Your princess, of course!” She giggled gleefully.

“Of course, silly me. You know, a king is the head of a group of knights and a princess needs knights to protect her. As king, I have command over a group of knights called the Knights of Ren, that makes them your knights as well.”

“Like Tyranus and Sid?”

“Yes, dear.”

“That’s so wizard! Can I-- can I keep it?” She gestured to the raven braid in her tiny fist.

“Sure, knock yourself out, Rey.” There was a knock. “Yes?” He asked after clearing his throat and adopting a deeper tone.

“Kylo,” Asajj began, entering the space, “it’ll be a few hours until we reach Moraband.”

“How many hours exactly?” She stood at attention, hands clasped behind her back.

“By our estimations and from how long it took to get to Yavin from there I would say it was between twelve and fourteen hours.”

“Why so long?” Rey chirped.

“That’s just how it is I’m afraid, Lady Rey.” Asajj purred. 

Kylo could feel Rey’s energy bubble at being called a Lady.  _ Like a real princess, right, Rey? _ He turned his torso to raise an eyebrow at her and was met with a toothy grin. And to himself: And I am the King. Asajj Ren tensed as he faced forward again with empty eyes and a smirk. 

“Thank you for telling us, you may go.” When she bowed and motioned to open the door he piped up again. “Oh, and do tell Oppress to give it her best shot. She’ll know what it means.” Asajj bowed again and left the two of them in silence.

“You won’t be able to see their faces once we break atmo. Knights of Ren must wear a helmet at all times, apparently. They only removed them for now because I asked them to.” He removed his hooded cape and arm wraps and let them fall to the floor before stretching. He was shirtless for the first time in front of her. He glanced around and spotted a compartment that he guessed would have more clothes to wear. Pulling a loose shirt over his head, he looked for a smaller one for Rey. “Here.” He muttered as he handed it to her.

“Will you have one too?” He let his tongue run over his teeth as he kicked his boots off and threw himself, stomach down, onto the bed.

“Yeah.” Rey could hear though his voice was muffled by one of the pillows. She shed her outer youngling robes and put on the long shirt. It was smaller, yes, but still too big for her by far. Mischievously she climbed onto his back, evoking a huff as a bit of breath was forced out as she settled her weight on his lower back. She wasn’t heavy though, so he wasn’t suffocating but he did have to turn his face out of the pillow to breathe comfortably. From the corner of his eye he could tell she was pouting.  _ What is it, Rey? _

_ You’ll take your mask off for me, right?  _ He laughed out his nose. 

_ Of course, but probably only when we’re alone or with the other knights. So you’ll have to get used to not seeing my face.  _ At that she sighed and rested her head in between his shoulder blades. He could feel her breathing softly. 

_ I like your face though. Yours is my favorite face. _

_ Oh really? What’s so good about it? _

_ Your eyes are pretty colors. You have a big mouth but your smile is nice. Your nose is humongous but it looks good on your face. Your ears are funny too but I like them. I like your-- the dots on your face-- _

_ My freckles or moles or whatever. I know what you mean.  _

_ Yeah, well I like them too because they look like they make consternations. _

_ Constellations, Rey. _

_ Stop interrupting. _ He smiled and she noted that too.  _ I like your smile the best I think.  _

“You don’t mean all that.” He whispered.

“Yes I do! You’re even pretty when you’re angry and your face is all screwed up like you smelled nerf shit.”

“Hey, watch your language. Where’d you learn that, anyway?” He scolded softly, sad that she has learned that word. 

“I heard Oppress saying it to Sidious Ren after he passed gas.” Kylo filed that away in a little box so he could remember one more reason to not like Oppress. 

“Well it’s bad to say so don’t say it, okay?” He whispered kindly. She nodded. “I’m tired.” He yawned and tears wet his eyes from yawning so hard. He rose a hand to wipe them away. Rey fell off to the side when he flipped over to rest on his back with his hands behind his head. “Do you want to nap with me?” Kylo asked as he turned onto his side to face her. He was holding his head up with his hand. Her response was to crawl beneath the blankets and he did the same. They had taken naps together at the Academy on the floor or in the meadow she liked but never in a bed, not even in his bed. 

“This is way better than grass.” He could hear as she curled up against his chest, her tiny head poked out of the covers beneath his chin.

“Can I take your hair out of your ties?”

“Go ahead, Ben.” She sighed. Immediately his hands gently pulled the ties free from her three buns and let her brown hair fall naturally. She put her thumb in her mouth as he worked.  _ Rey, try to turn the lights off using the force. _

_ Fine, but no promises that they won’t explode. _

_ Even if they explode they’re still off and you pass the lesson. Just turn ‘em off, Rey. _ It was quiet. 

_ I can’t do it.  _ He could feel her deflate in defeat. He frowned against her hair.

_ Yes you can, try harder.  _ It was quiet. 

_ Ben, I can’t do it, it’s too hard and I’m tired.  _ He bit back his minor irritation and sighed. She felt his annoyance and return it in full.  _ Hey, it’s not my fault. I’m only four. You’re  _ able _ to do it, so just  _ do  _ it! _

Ben found amusement in her struggle and chortled mutedly over the bond.  _ If I do it the lights will definitely be blown out, you can do it. I have faith that you’ll do a better job than me. _ At his encouragement and blatant admission of not being able to control the force finely enough she sniffed and snobbily the lights turned off.  _ ‘Atta girl, Rey.  _

_ It wasn’t that hard, you’re just a loose blaster.  _ He guffawed in faux offense before she curled farther into his chest and pinched his arm. 

  
“Hey!” He complained. Her hair smelled of tree sap and grass. It was pleasant against his face and he fell asleep remembering their meadow. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey meets Sifo-Dyas Ren and Ben is the best.

Rey woke up before Ren, she was sprawled out like star on the bed. Kylo was forced to the edge but was fast asleep, his lips slightly opened. She turned and stifled a giggle as she wriggled out of bed and tiptoed to the door. It was just her luck that the door opened silently. The ship moaned and it was suddenly too quiet without Ben at her side but she trekked onward. Rey wanted to explore the ship as much as possible before her guardian could wake up. She liked to do things on her own despite how much Ben worries and tries to stop her. The floor was cold and it seemed to seep through the soles of her shoes as she walked on so she shivered. The corridor was as stark opposite of the halls of the Academy she had grown used to. Being with Kylo had made her unobservant of the insides of the ship by simply being present. As she explored she made sure to remember the way back to Ben’s room. Unsurprisingly, the common area was void of life as she passed through it and into the cockpit. It was dark, lit only by the lights of the buttons on the console. 

“What do you think you’re doing, Little One?” A voice in the darkness asked.

“Oh force!” She gasped in surprise and moved to the farthest part of the room from the voice. A figure appeared, she noticed, after it flashed her a smile. “Are you one of Ben’s friends?” The figure laughed, thinking that her innocence was cute.

“I am a Knight if that’s what you mean.” Rey let out the breath she was keeping tight in her chest. “But that doesn’t make him my friend, in fact, I’ll have you know that I hate him.” The falsely light tone the voice took made her disconcerted and enraged that someone would dare to hate her Ben.

“How dare you hate Ben. You’re evil, you're all evil.” She yelled in her high pitched voice. When it was met with a crazed burst of laughter she froze.

“Watch your tone.” The figure came into view, the whites of his eyes red and his pupils a sickly yellow before returning to white. “You forget, girl, that you two are just children in over your fracking heads.” The figure retreated into the darkness once more. “Run along now.” She fled with a speed that amazed her back to Ben's private room where he lay sleeping. He must have moved because his arms were spread open and his sleeping shirt revealed his freckle speckled stomach. Just the sight of him cooled her nerves but she vowed as she watched his chest rise and fall that she would protect him too. Eyebrows furrowing in exasperation at his poor choice of friends, she huffed. Her intense feelings must have stirred him and she froze beside the bed as his eyes fluttered open. The cabin was dark, but there was enough light to make out his form.

“Rey?” His voice was thick with sleep. “Why are you out of bed?”

“Potty.” She blurted. Rey was nervous as he froze and stared at her as if he could see her soul before nodding.

“Good, the  _ last  _ thing I want to do is potty train you. Good on you, uncle Luke.” Kylo seemed to cheer tiredly before patting the bed. “We probably still have a lot of time left, go back to sleep, Rey.”

“I--I can't. I had a nightmare.” It may as well have been a nightmare. Ben seemed to wake up a bit more by how he propped his head up with a pillow and pouted, adjusting his shirt in the meantime.

“Care to tell me what it was about? Sometimes talking about it helps.” He patted the bed beside him again. He was very relaxed for someone who is hated. She climbed into bed and snuggled up against his chest. He was really boney because he hadn’t finished growing into his height but she didn't mind.

“You were in it.” Rey began, slowly crafting her story. “A dark man in the shadows told me he hated you. I think he meant to hurt you.”

“Hmm.” He murmured and swallowed.

“He had these crazy eyes, Ben.”

“What did they look like?” It was her turn to swallow.

“They were red and the circle part of his eyes were orangey-yellow.”

“That certainly sounds like a nightmare to me.” He flinched as she suddenly lifted her head and turned in the bed to face him with an odd intensity in her eyes.

“Ben, you have to promise me that you won't get hurt, okay?” She stuck her pinky out toward him. “You can't trust everyone. You can’t believe that people are your friends just ‘cause they say they are.”

“Right. You better do the same. No putting me on a wild bantha chase. You keep yourself safe and be wary of strangers. Rey, I really hope you understand how important to me you are. If something were to happen to you... I’d don’t even know what I would do.” His voice cracked at the thought of her being harmed but steadied as he found the concept infuriating. “Actually, I’d probably shoot the messenger and then mortally wound whoever dared to touch a hair on your little head.” He gave her hair a little kiss and rubbed it.

“Same here, Ben. You're all I have in this adventure so try your best not to leave me behind.”

“I promise.” He hooked his pinky in hers. “It was only a dream.” Kylo tried to reassure her. “I'll be here while you sleep. Don't worry. I'll just be reading.” He purred absent-mindedly as he used the force to bring a holo to his hand and gently gave her a reassuring shoulder squeeze with the other.  

“I’m not tired.”

“That’s too bad.”

“I don’t like Oppress Ren.” She concluded after they had say in silence for what seemed like an age.

“Neither do I.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben has a little happy trail growing but I felt that detail was inappropriate to add. Originally I was going to have Sifo-Dyas and Rey meeting be sweet but I decided against it in favor of reminding that not everything is flowers and sunshine.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben shares what he likes about Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to Bubbly by Colbie Calliat while writing this if I remember correctly.

Before long, Rey was between Kylo’s crossed legs on the bed, him not having moved from the spot at all. He had just finished doing her characteristic three floppy buns and was letting her practice reading aurebesh and was reading along in his head over her shoulder. Whenever she stumbled on a word or asked what a word meant he gladfully told her what it was. He noticed she had goosebumps on her arms as she held the holo and frowned.

“Rey, are you cold?”

“A little bit, why?”

“Here, let’s get wrapped up, shall we?” He gave her no room to argue and promptly wrapped the blanket over his shoulders and around her to cocoon them both. “That better?”

“Uh huh.” She continued reading aloud to him. Ben absentmindedly ran his thumb over his bottom lips as he shut his eyes. “Ben?”

“Ngh.”

“Are you asleep?”

“Obviously not.” He replied with no malice in his tone. 

“But your eyes are closed.” He peeked one eye open at her. 

“I’ve been awake this whole time. I’m just resting my eyes.”

“You sound like an old coot.” She teased and his chest rumbled with unvoiced laughter. 

“I can only be like this with you, starlight. Remember how you were listing what you liked about my face?” She nodded. “Can I list what I like about you?” She nodded again and tilted her head to the side a bit. At that, he cleared his throat and shut his eyes again. “Your smile makes me feel like a child and it’s contagious.” He grinned, flashing his sharp canines. “I like to feel when your bubbly emotions trickle through our connection sometimes. You warm my heart when you trust in me. I like how your little hands are so much smaller than mine. Your hair is really soft and you smell like tree sap right now.” He sniffed. She giggled and playfully pushed on his chest, causing him to open his eyes. “Your eyes are a nice color too, I guess. They have this sort of fire to them when you get super into something. You’re strong for your age. To me, you’re like a little star all on your own.” He covered one of her tiny hands in one of his much larger ones but released it when she pounced on him in a big hug around his waist. 

“You’re my favorite person, Ben. I love you the most."

“Ditto, and call me Kylo Ren once we leave the ship.” 

“What does ditto mean?” She looked up at him. 

“It means you’re also my favorite person, sunshine.” He patted her head and enveloped her into a bigger hug and rolled them over so that they were on their sides. “Are you excited to see the galaxy with me?"

“Of course.” Rey wasted no time in tickling the sides of his chest where she knew he was sensitive. He whined out something that resembled a laugh in response. Pleased with her joy at getting a reaction and only slightly embarrassed, he tickled her sides back and she squealed. They lay like that laughing with each other for a time. Kylo Ren decided he would imprint this moment in his memory. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. You'll see why I didn't continue it onto what will happen next in the next few chapters. Sorry!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey throws a tantrum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise 11pm EST update cause I felt bad about how short chapter 11 was!! Enjoy!!

“Sorry to spoil the moment, Ky, but we’re about to break atmo. so I would get yourselves ready.” They stopped laughing and froze as Oppress’s voice came through the comm. Rey’s face contorted into an ugly sneer at her interruption but went back to neutral when Ren turned to look at her.

“Give us a few minutes.” 

“If there isn’t anything for...  _ Lady Rey _ ,” she spoke as if the title disgusted her, it probably did, “I can lend her some of my clothes--” 

“That would be great, thank you.” 

“ _ If _ you let me give you a private tour of the base.” His mood soured and his jaw visibly clenched. He did need to know the layout of where Rey would be spending most of her time but didn’t want to spend any more time with Oppress than he needed to. 

“I’ll have to recline.” Kylo nearly growled as he rose from the bed and got dressed again in more of the same fashion of clothes he was given before. Rey sat quietly with her legs crossed, watching him dress unabashed. 

“I already received permission from the Supreme Leader. You can’t refuse.” There was an air of arrogance in her tone mixed with a veil of indifference. 

“Whether or not I reprimand you for going behind my back depends on whether or not you will clothe Rey right now. Make your choice.” 

“Fine.” She must have spoke it through clenched teeth from the way it seemed to grate through the comm. “Open up.” He waved his hand from across the room to open the door with the force. Oppress carried a towel and what appeared to be the promised clothes. Rey looked from a glowering Ben to a stoic Oppress. 

“What is that?” 

“A towel,  _ your lordship. _ Or do you want her to be unkempt upon arrival?” He swallowed a retort when he took a mental step back and peered over to Rey who seemed to be trying to make herself smaller. 

“Be a good girl and go with her, Rey.” He padded forward, his boots nearly toe to toe with Oppress as he motioned for Rey to go to them. 

“Can’t you help me, Ben?” Oppress let out a mirthless chuckle at how he froze in place. Before he could think of why it wouldn’t be proper Oppress pushed past him, shoving her shoulder into his as she did. 

“Rey, he’s a male and you’re not blood-related, it’s improper.”

“But why?”

“You’ll understand when you’re older.” Oppress told her, turning her head back to look Kylo up and down with a smirk. He shifted uncomfortably on his feet, Rey tried not to notice how his ears grew pink. Oppress tried to tug her hand but Rey retracted it as if it had been acid. The knight of Ren’s calm exterior cracked and she flashed Rey a snarl before returning to calm. Kylo didn’t notice. 

“Don’t touch me!” Rey nearly screamed in protest. She tried to ignore how her actions were making her Ben restless. In an effort to rally some support to her cause she stared straight at her guardian who only gulped and looked away. Her heart broke at his betrayal. When Oppress tried again to coax her from her position on the bed she acted on her feelings. “I said not to touch me!” She screamed as she shot a hand up to shove Oppress away but to her surprise Oppress flew into the wall as if she were thrown. Rey didn’t care. 

“Rey!” She turned her attention back to Kylo who slowly approached her as if a strong wind were blowing him the opposite way. But that was impossible, it was an enclosed space--  _ in space _ . Kylo tried to reach her through their connection but all he heard back were pained screams in her mind as if she was an injured animal. “Rey, stop throwing a kriffing temper tantrum!” He yelled, hoping it would reach her. It did but he got the opposite effect of what he wanted. She began huffing and he froze in her sights.  _ Where is she getting this power? Where did she learn this? Why is she overreacting so much? Will she pass out again? _ The feeling he was getting from her was dark. 

“What’s happening in here?” Asajj gasped once she could get through the doorway. The room was a mess, the lights were shining a little too brightly and some were exploding, Oppress was unconscious on the floor, and the child was at the epicenter. She felt as if she was being choked when Rey looked over at her intrusion but she was able to breathe again when Rey finally spoke.

“Asajj will wash with me. At least  _ she _ doesn’t reek of complete darkness.” Rey spat toward a struggling Kylo Ren.

“F-Fine, alright already!” Kylo croaked and fell forward when the resistance suddenly faded. He grunted as he righted himself, finally having time to assess the damage. Then to Rey, “Rey, you can’t do this.” If she was trying to regret her extremism she certainly looked the part. 

“I--I’m sorry.” She whispered but her eyes had a detached look to them as she glanced around. 

“Asajj, take her to the fresher.” He sighed and didn’t look at his girl. If he looked he knew he would crumble. It was his weakness that made her act out and he hated himself for it. “Teach her how to use it herself.” 

“Gladly, sir. My Lady, let’s go get you cleaned up.” This time, Rey silently followed her out. Shattered lumen bulbs crunched under his boots as he took his time to nudge Oppress Ren with his foot. She was still unconscious so he checked her pulse. He pulled his hand back and knelt beside her, cocking his head to the side.  _ What is wrong with this person?  _ As if hearing his thoughts she startled awake, shocking Ren out of his thoughts and taking a few tentative steps back to give her room. She winced as she got to her feet, surveying the room. 

“What is she?” He didn’t like her phrasing, it made Rey seem like a lesser creature so he frowned in disapproval and defense.

“She’s a four year old girl, powerful in the force, who just threw a temper tantrum.” 

“She’s a hurt vector, a monster--” He cut her off with a shout, making her flinch in fear. 

“Agh!” He screamed at her as he punched the wall beside her head in rage. “She’s a four year old girl named Rey who is powerful in the force, stronger than she knows.” They stared silently at each other, only her heavy breath breaking the silence. “You’re going to clean this mess.”

“What?”

“I’m not going to repeat myself.” He walked away from her and headed for the door. 

“Why? The girl--”

“She sensed something off about you, probably more than I myself could tell. Younglings are very perceptive, you know.” Oppress was losing her chance to come between them and she hated it.

“Ben.” She tried the name out. “Ben--”

“How dare you say that name to me!?” He returned to face her in two strides, nearly spitting as he snarled. “Did I give you permission to fill your boots with opinions? Did I give you a credit for your thoughts?” He raised a hand and clenched her jaw shut so hard she worried it would dislocate or break let alone bruise-- which it would. “No, I didn’t, so shut your poor excuse of a HoloNet Bimbo mouth and leave us alone. You should be thanking me on your hands and knees for sparing your life. Consider this punishment mercy.” He spat and left her silently seething in pain and rage against the wall. Her plan had gone to Malachor, she had just been called a bad pornstar, probably broke something judging from the pain in her chest when she breathed,  _ and _ she had to clean up after the brats tantrum just when they landed.  _ Fantastic. _

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux and debauchery.

Kylo trudged past the fresher in the way to the cockpit overhearing Asajj humming a lullaby. It calmed his nerves to the point he stopped clenching and unclenching his fists. Fighting the urge to knock on the fresher door and ask how Rey was doing, he forced his legs onward when his stomach growled. He was hungry. If he was hungry, so was she. He opened the compartment of bland rations and took two, one for him and one for her. He bided his time by taking a seat in the common and reading the label on one of the packages. “Contains one serving of essential nutrients to last twelve hours.” He read it in his head, lifting the other packet with the force to practice his telekinesis he wondered if it had what a child requires. Hearing the fresher stop he let the levitating packet fall into his hand as he made his way to intercept Asajj Ren and Rey. He could hear Asajj whispering something to her that made her laugh. When he rounded the corner he stood akimbo as they approached. 

“Asajj Ren, how did she fare?” The words were foreign and unnaturally devoid of anything that would reveal his volatile cocktail of emotions. Rey’s hair was wet but braided just like Asajj Ren’s. Her outfit fit her better than his shirt but it was still baggy on her little form. The leggings and shirt were a stark black that mirrored his own but the tunic on top was a dark shade of gray. He had half hoped, half expected her to come bounding towards him but she stood stock still. Her little hazel eyes were downcast as Asajj spoke.

“Impeccably well, she only had a bit of trouble reaching the temperature and flow controls. I hope you don’t mind that we showered together. Lady Rey had insisted upon it.” He finally looked up at his second in command and only just realized that her hair was still wet and that water was dripping down her neck. He couldn’t help but imagine the scene and cleared his throat, he was a fifteen year old boy after all. 

“Not at all. Come along now, Rey. We’ve landed and can’t keep the others waiting. Find Tyranus through the force and go to him.”  _ Take this. _ He held out the ration. She didn’t look at him, she snatched the portion as she nodded and scurried past him as close to the wall as possible. He frowned at her obvious act of avoidance but said nothing and turned to face Asajj.

“What is Oppress’s condition?” She inquired firmly, adopting a professional stance and dropping the kind act. When Rey wasn’t present there wasn’t a need for it. 

“I don’t know.” He shrugged, digging into his mass produced meal with a gag. It was worse than he expected. “She seemed alright to me when she was insulting Rey.” Kylo heard her sigh and watched her pinch the bridge of her nose before speaking.

“Forgive me for my insolence, but what the hell happened back there, in your quarters?”

“I don’t know.” It was true but Asajj scoffed as she watched him casually continue to eat. 

“What do you mean you don’t know? Why didn’t you inform us that she was force sensitive?” Her tone was accusative and he didn’t appreciate it.

“I don’t know but can you please stop yelling at me? You’re kind of stressing me out and ruining my appetite.” She sighed again but spoke calmly which he did appreciate.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” 

“Have you considered that maybe I assumed you all were intelligent enough to put two and two together? We came from a farking  _ Jedi Academy _ for force’s sake. What the frack did you think she was, force blind?” He couldn’t contain the ridicule in his words and laughed and ate more but force be damned, they were all valid questions. Her mouth hung open before she quickly swallowed and dropped to her knees with blatant humility. 

“I deeply, sincerely apologize for my irreverent, insolent behavior and for the Knights ignorance. The Supreme Leader only mentioned one force sensitive. He just called her ‘the girl’.” She rose and mirrored his earlier akimbo stance. A silence hung in the air as neither of them spoke. The telltale clip of boots echoed off the walls but the time in between each clip was unusual. Oppress appeared with a pause and a sneer.

“I’ve completed the blasted task,  _ Kylo Ren _ . Excuse me, Asajj.” She passed them without another word, her silence and limp speaking for her as they moved to the side to give her room.

“May I inquire as to what you asked her to do when she was out not too long ago?” He nodded and she waited. 

After relaying the task and the incident of her rude comments, Asajj sighed. 

“Rey confided in me that she saw into Oppress’s mind by accident and that she was vying to get between Rey and you because she wants what Rey has: someone to look after her and care if she gets hurt.”

“I thought she was just trying to get to me before Abeloth Ren.” At that Asajj chuckled and shook her head, much to his embarrassment. It was his turn to sigh as he felt his cheeks go hot. “Well, that is a really big mistake on my part, huh?” He sucked in an uneasy breath as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Let's keep this a secret, huh? It'll tarnish my edgy reputation if word gets out that I'm a blushing mess.” 

“I think Rey already ruined that, hmm?” 

“I'll just have to commit doubly sith-like acts to make up for it.” 

“And how do you plan to keep word of our nefarious deeds from her?” He chewed his cheek before shrugging, having finished the ration. His tongue ran over his teeth to make sure nothing was stuck in between them. 

“I dunno, I'll x-wing it, see how it goes and ask Snoke for a mindsweep if the situation urges it. He already promised me one.” He was startled when a velvety voice came from behind him and seemed to wrap around him uncomfortably.

“Master, sorry to interrupt your dalliance with Asajj Ren but we really must be going. The kid general is waiting.” Abeloth cast a knowing glance to Asajj who in turn rolled her eyes at the mention of the ill tempered carrot. 

“Force preserve me and gods preserve my patience.” Asajj prayed aloud as she passed Kylo to exit the ship after giving him a sharp nod. Both their heads turned to follow her out with her eyes before Kylo was startled back to facing the well endowed knight and swallowed uncomfortably.

“Now that she's out of the way, tell me the juicy details, Ren. Did damned Asajj beat me to you?” She whispered as she cornered him. He wasn't used to these situations and couldn't really think once she slowly and deliberately licked her upper lip and bit her lower. “She didn't, good. You still look and act virgin enough.” His cheeks grew a near violent red from both embarrassment and rage. It took all he could to shove her away because of her overwhelming presence that seemed to freeze him.  _ That's right, she's a force user _ . She tried to get back to him and he used to force to pin her back against the wall he pushed her towards in an effort to get away from her. He raised his hands to his face in disbelief of what just transpired.

“Oh my gods, this isn't happening.” He was trying to convince himself. “This isn't happening right now. You didn't just--” His nostrils flared as he poked an angry finger toward her. “Learn to control yourself!” He yelled in her face. 

She mewled. “Rough play? Kinky.” She winked and that was all he could take. He could hardly hide his repulsion. He was a hormonal fifteen year old but he had standards. He didn't know what the hell they were but he had them and whatever she was trying went against them. 

“What in karking Malachor is wrong with you people!?” Kylo growled, remembering Oppress and gracing her with anything more responses not daring to release her until he had put a considerable about of space between them. He exited the shuttle with heavy, wild steps that were almost stomps. All his knights minus Abeloth and plus Rey were out. 

“Where's Abeloth Ren, My Lord?” Asajj asked with mechanical formality. It was odd to have them all masked but him. He didn't care to wonder why as he passed through his crew. 

“Preoccupied.” He managed to say. 

He stood face to face with a red haired runt. 

“So, the oh so powerful First Knight has been claimed? And it's a scrawny kid, who are you?” The man looked no older than Ben but he was very obviously shorter.  _ Perhaps he wasn't well nourished as a child. How sad.  _ For some reason he had a large coat draped over his shoulders like a cape.  _ I wonder if it's to make him seem bigger _ . Ben didn't pay attention to what he was muttering, he was zoning out once the ginger stuck his nose up as if he were superior.  _ What an obnoxious guy. I'm well above him in Snokes eyes, why is he acting high and mighty?  _ He was mildly perplexed as to why but he kept his face neutral.

“I believe I was told by Snoke that the Knights of Ren operate independently, remind me again why I should care who you are, you little carrot in your daddy's coat?” Kylo crossed his arms across his chest and shifted his weight from one leg to the other as he watched the general grow bright as spilt blood. He huffed as the red faced man didn't respond, already bored of the man's existence. They stared at each other, one in rage and one in exasperation, before the shorter man glanced behind Kylo and sneered. 

“Did Supreme Leader Snoke know you had a filthy stowaway on board?” Along with his own blood beginning to boil he could feel at least two Knights hackles rise at the insult to their Lady. It was nice to have back up if he needed it, it allowed him to reign back his anger enough to simply have a crazed look to his eyes.

“Why don't you ask him yourself, general ginger? I'm sure he'll appreciate your doubt in his decisions.” The general was thoroughly unsettled by his intense eyes while his face remained passive when Rey gave her two credits.

“He's as force sensitive as a rock, he's no real threat. He's not worth your energy... Kylo Ren.” She forced the name out as if it tasted bad and it hurt him a little that she didn't like using his chosen name but also reminded himself that to her he'd always be Ben. 

“You're as perceptive as ever, starlight.” He complimented her without shame to spite the short man. “Hurt her and you won't be able to find a system that I won't track you down to and murder you myself. She's more useful to Snoke dead, Force forbid, than you are alive.” It was true but also false because he would fight tooth and nail for Rey to be able choose what she wanted to do with her life. Kylo walked by the shorter man only after making sure to shove his shoulder into him, diminishing Rey's first impression of the man and making the generals impression of him poor with calculated ease. He paused before descending a set of stairs to call to Rey. “Rey, let's go.” He could tell she was still a little upset with him about Oppress but he struggled to keep a Pazaak-face when she glared at the general upon passing. 

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wild Phasmom appears!  
> *Check. *Fight. *Talk. *Hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was an undertale/pokemon reference. A poor one.

“Rey, Sweetheart, I know you're still upset with me so I'll go ahead and tell you that you are right about Oppress.” Ben said as they entered a dark chamber at the bottom of the stars with high ceilings that made his voice echo. The area was empty as he walked with her to the middle of it. He felt her interest piqued in curiosity. “She is worse than I originally could tell. Why didn't you tell me you slipped into her mind?”

“Because I thought you'd be mad.” Rey mumbled almost inaudibly.

“Why would I be mad?” He bent down to a knee to be at her level. 

“I acted on my anger, Ben, am I going to go to the dark side?” His initial reaction was to laugh but he shook that away when he saw the frantic look in her eyes.

“Oh, Rey. You're not going to become a darksider. I'll be there to stop you, I'll keep you safe so it's okay if you act on your feelings every so often. It means you're human.” He dragged his thumb across her cheek as she nodded. “Now come here.” She complied and he lifted her in a hug causing her to wrap her arms around his neck and cling to him like a baby primeape on its mother. He supported her with his arms of course, he couldn't trust her baby weak strength to hold herself in place. With her basically sitting on his forearm he bounced her around to pass the time before the shiny glint of an irregularly armored stormtrooper caught his eye. When the trooper presumably noticed the child when kylo turned to face them it stopped its advance momentarily before continuing toward them, blaster casually in hand. 

“Sir, I have been ordered to show you the base.” The voice was feminine to his surprise. He had read that they were all male plus the height didn't make him immediately think ‘oh this is a female’. Rey glanced at the chrome trooper and whispered in Kylos ear. 

“Lady Rey has requested that you remove your helmet when in her presence.” 

“Is that an order?” The trooper seemed disturbed when Kylo nodded but removed the helmet without hesitation afterwards. To his surprise the woman has short cut blonde hair that was shaved at the sides. She wasn't too bad on the eyes. 

_ Ben, she's pretty. _ Rey projected to him as she whispered in his ear once more. He cleared his throat before acting as her parrot.

“What is your name?”

“I am Captain Phasma, I am in charge of the stormtroopers, sir.”

“Please, just call me Kylo Ren.” He could visibly see her take a deep silent breath. “Who's in charge of the person in charge?” 

“That would be General Hux, sir.” Both Rey and himself were unsure as to who this person was. He certainly had never heard of anyone named Hux but he did recently come to know a general.

“Is he a short red haired man with a temper almost as short as him?” He asked, Rey snickering at his words.

“General Hux certainly has ginger hair but to me almost everyone is short, si-- Kylo Ren. If I recall correctly he was to meet you on surface when you arrived. He comm’d me in quite a state of agitation telling me to guide the Master of the Knights of Ren around along with the girl.” Ben could sense Reys anger at being referred to again and again as  _ the girl _ .

“Her name is Rey. Everyone keeps calling her ‘the girl’ and neither of us appreciate it.” 

“I apologize.” 

“I was told by Oppress Ren that she would escort me, why the change?”

“Oppress Ren is currently receiving medical attention in the medbay. Her wounds were... peculiar.”

“She seemed fine to me.”

“Well according to the droids she has two broken ribs, a fractured arm, and a badly bruised jaw.” He nodded, digesting the information as if he had nothing to do with it. 

“I want to try her helmet on.” Rey murmured. He couldn't see why she would want to. 

“Rey would like to try on your helmet, you have the right to refuse if you find it displeases you. Ow!” He yowled as Rey pinched his free arm. He stared at her in a scolding way.  _ You can't just force people to do everything you say, they're people too. How would you like it if someone made you do something you didn't want to do? _ She sent him images of Oppress unconscious on the floor through their bond with a frown.  _ Hey, you overreacted then. How would you like it if Captain Phasma reacted like you did. _ She frowned at him. 

“Of course, here, My Lady.” Phasma knelt down after Kylo let Rey onto her own two feet, handing her chrome helmet to the child. Kylo watched their interaction and noted how Phasma seemed to be the mothering type, more so than Asajj Ren. Perhaps she would be of use to him. Reys eyes widened in fascination as she maneuvered the helmet in her tiny hands to look at all the parts, asked questions, and received answers from Phasma like the ever curious little engineer she was. It warmed his heart, the matters with Abeloth and Oppress Ren and General Pissybaby were inconsequential. He took mental notes on how the chromedome looked so he could have another reference for when he made his helmet. Rey looked extremely comical once the large helmet was on her. Kylo stifled a laugh as she had to use her hands to keep it steady or she'd lose her balance. He could sense her embarrassment but also felt how her fascination overshadowed it. It was a pleasant surprise how Phasma seemed to genuinely mirror Rey's energy and clapped her gloved hands together in congratulations as Rey finally managed to balance the heavy helmet on her head.  _ Definitely the mothering type.  _

“Phasma, do you have children? You're so good with her that it seems you might have experience.” He queried. She looked up at him and gave him a heartfelt answer she firmly believed.

“All the stormtroopers I command are my children, I have no biological children of my own.” She continued with an air of frustration. “As with First Order protocol they must be raised to have no attachments and without compassion so I have to give them tough love all the time. It's all stick, no treat.” She cleared her throat and placed her helmet on once more after Rey was seemingly done with it. “Now if you would follow me.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting to know Hux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all are liking this fic so far. It's turning out to be less of a crack but more of a mix of crack and normal.

Captain Phasma showed them the essential facilities along with the numerous hangars and control center. Phasma told him that she would show him the interrogation and prisoner wing at a later time when Rey wasn't present. He was pleased with her discretion and relieved her once she guided them to where they would be staying

“Thank you, Captain, you may go now.”

“Sir.” She saluted and left, the entry door shut behind her with a hiss. Finally, he turned his attention to an ecstatic child before him. 

“Rey, why don't you go find out how many rooms there are?” Currently they were in the main part of the quarters, there was a little kitchenette to the right and a door to the left and if he took a few steps he'd reach the couch and coffee table set in the center. When he did he saw there were a set of stairs that lead to what seemed to be a small hallway. “Starlight, be careful on the stairs.” He chimed. Kylo decided to relax on the couch listening to Rey open doors with the force. He went into a meditative state, to think of on the days problems. Ben didn't get very far because Rey jumped into the couch next to him.

“There's, like, two fresher rooms! There's two quarters up the stairs that have a door to one with a tub. We even have our own kitchen, there's an office with a bunch of holobooks with names I can't read yet. Oh, there's also a room that's empty except for training sabers, I guess it's a training room. This is so exciting!” She beamed. “Even though there are no decorations it's still comfy. I can make things with the scrap from one of the hangars.” He was glad she liked it. He himself hadn't known what to be expecting. The comm on the wall beeped, interrupting their reverie. 

“Supreme Leader Snoke requests our presence, Ren. He says to bring her along.” And with that they were walking the hallway. Rey wriggled her tiny hand out of Ben’s and tugged on Hux’s pant leg. “Do you need something?” He whispered but she was unfazed. 

“How old are you?” Ben was interested as well, the man who walked few paces ahead of him seemed young. 

“Eighteen.”

“You’re older than you look, were you not fed as a child?” Ben interjected.

“And what are you, twenty?” At that Ben laughed. 

“Fifteen, you braintick.”

“What’s your name?”Rey continued. 

“Hux.” 

“That’s a weird name. What’s your last name?”

“Hux.” The General shot daggers at her with his eyes. 

“Hux Hux.” She giggled as he tried to keep calm. 

“No, no, Brendol Hux the second, you brat.” During the whole exchange Kylo watched silently. “Why do you even care?” 

“You’re funny.” 

“How in the name of the Order did you get the impression I was ‘funny’?” 

“You acted like you were better than... Kylo, when you’re really below him.” At this the General's face contorted in offense in such a way that Kylo couldn’t keep back a chuckle. When the General swiveled as he walked to look at Kylo as he pointed a finger at Rey.

“Do you see this, Ren? Is this how you will raise this child, hm?”

“Yes, I see a little girl who deserves a tall glass of blue milk at your expense.” Kylo finally said to Hux as Kylo and Rey low-fived. “Rey, don’t repeat anything we’re saying, they’re bad words.” She nodded solemnly.  

“Well she’s a pain in the choobies, do something about it before I do.” At that, she was annoyed and Ben could tell. 

“Just for that, you’re going to be another ‘sitter.” Hux stopped walking at that point, causing them to stop. 

“ _ Excuse me!? _ I am the General of the First Order, I’m in command here, not you.” 

“Why don’t you tell Snoke that?”

“ _ The Supreme Leader _ , you backrocket barve. I’ll have you spaced once the  _ Finalizer _ is complete.” Before he could even think of continuing, his airway felt constricted. His immediate thought was that it was Kylo but Kylo was staring at the girl who was in turn was staring at him with a murderous look to her eyes. Hux wondered how so much power could come from such a small girl. 

“You’re not going to ‘space’ him. Don’t you  _ ever _ hurt him. Do you understand?” It was getting harder to breathe as he stubbornly refused to give in. “I said, do you understand?” Ben saw that the General's face was slowly turning purple and intervened. 

“Rey, that’s enough.” And at that his throat was released. Hux begrudgingly looked over to Kylo and nodded his thanks. “You need to learn to control your anger, my little star. Now apologize.”

“I’m sorry for using the force to choke you, Brendol Hux the second.” She was anything but sincere.

“The Supreme Leader is at the end of this hallway.” He croaked. The kid was going to be the end of him.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snoke deals with his two problem children. Hux can't handle Rey's bantering for long and passes the baton to Phasma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments= Inspiration.

Hux lead them into a cold, dank audience chamber with a broken looking creature in the center of the space on a dais. Kylo struggled not to twist his nose up in disgust and apprehension. Rey gripped tighter onto his gloved hand the closer they got. Hux seemed almost unaffected but a slight tenseness to his gait proved otherwise. 

“Ah, Kylo Ren and the girl. At long last we meet in person.” The figure drawled. The voice matched the one in Ben's dreams. 

“I believe I told you before that her name is Rey, Snoke.” At his side, Hux almost gasped at his gall. “Can we get on with things? I'd rather not have her in your presence for too long.” Exhaling in aggravation, Snoke responded, otherwise unaffected. 

“Your insolence hasn't changed, I see. Bring the-- Rey, closer so I can do what was promised.” Rey held her breath and looked up at Ben as if searching for answers. She found none. Hux on the other hand was still reeling from Kylo’s indiscretion that Snokes self correction slapped his conscious back. 

“On second thought, I’d like to put that on hold in favor of other matters--” 

“Supreme Leader, this sod--” Hux began but was silenced.

“One at a time, children.” Snoke rolled his eyes. “Ren, I would like to hear General Hux’s grievance first.” 

“Thank you, Supreme Leader.” Hux cleared his throat. “Ren has been insubordinate, and down right rude.” At that Kylo scoffed and crossed his arms with a roll of his eyes. Rey gripped his leg at the removal of his hand. “He has made it clear that he wants me to babysit the little wretch. Me, General of the First Order. Supreme Leader--”

“Are you saying that the top General of the First Order, son of Brendol Hux the first, top of his graduating class, is incapable of watching over a mere youngling?” Ben could tell Snoke was just trying to get Hux’s bantha so he sat back and watched. 

“No, no, _ Supreme Leader _ , I can but he blatantly insulted my authority. And his damned youngling is insufferable.” Rey worked up enough courage to speak at his insult. 

“You’re just upset ‘cause Be--Ren, is way better than you are.” Snoke was amused by her interjection and gave what could only be described as a grimace but when he chuckled darkly it was clear it was a smile. Rey shivered at the sight. Even Hux and Kylo grew tense. 

“Little One, tell me, you can use the force, yes?” 

“Snoke--” Ben warned but Snoke held a hand up to silence him. 

“I didn’t ask you, insolent one. It's simply a question. Don’t get your tunic in a bunch. I asked the Little Star over here. Tell me, girl.” 

“Yes.” 

“Excellent. Hux, you will take this girl and look after her along with Captain Phasma. I have a mission for you Ren.” With that, Hux nodded and reached for Rey to follow him. She hesitated and looked up to see Kylo beginning to usher her over to the General. 

“It’s alright, Rey. I’ll be with you shortly.” Ben reassured her but he in truth didn't know how long he'd be. 

Rey pouted but reluctantly followed the man out of the chamber. Inwardly, she was glad to be leaving the unsettling room. 

“Where are we going?” She chimed after the doors to the chamber shut behind them. 

“ _ I  _ have business to oversee _ , you _ have to come along. Do  _ not _ speak once we arrive.” He hissed. 

“Be-- Kylo Ren doesn’t let me curse, but he’s not here right now and you’re a stinkweed.” Hux rolled his eyes, not bothering to retort to her childish taunt. Suddenly an idea popped into his head and he pulled his comm out of his breast coat pocket.

“Phasma.” He waited for a response. It came swiftly.

“Sir.” 

“The girl-- Rey-- come take her off my hands. Kylo Ren has the Supreme Leader on his side, I swear.” 

“You just realized?” Rey muttered under her breath with a sniff. 

“Shut your mouth, you.” Hux snapped at her. 

“Sir?”

“No, not you, Phasma. Rey, Kylo Ren’s mudcrutch whelp. Where should we meet to-- hey! You can’t kick me!” But she had, straight to his shin for his insult. She wouldn’t use the force on him for insult her but she would if he threatened or spoke poorly of her guardian. 

“Well I just did, didn’t I?” Hux growled in aggravation. He wanted very badly to hit the girl for her repeated verbal and physical attacks but couldn’t for fear of the Supreme Leader's punishment, totally not out of fear of Ren. 

“May I ask to have your current location, sir?” 

“I don’t have the luxury of waiting for you to get here, where are you?” 

“Overseeing stormtrooper training, sir, in training room #47.” He cursed beneath his breath, it was in the opposite direction of where he needed to go and it was far away. 

“Hey, Hux, I’m hungry.” She tugged on his overcoat to get his attention. Another brilliant idea. 

“Let's meet at cafeteria 24. The brat is famished and I find myself a wee bit peckish.” The cafeteria wasn't far from where they had walked, probably only a few turns away. “We shall be seeing you shortly, Captain.”

“Yes, sir. Expect me within twenty minutes.” And with that Hux hung up and guided Rey to their destination. 

“How big is this place?” She couldn't help but ask in wonder. 

“Big enough to house 109,382 stormtroopers and troopers in training, hold enough ships and star destroyers to defeat a well sized scuffle with the Resistance scum, and a large enough hangar to build the  _ Finalizer _ .” He was proud and it showed in his voice and gait. He was surprised she didn't ruin the moment. 

“Woah, that’s, like, a hundred people, I can't count that high.”

“You can’t count to 100,000?” Hux couldn’t say he was surprised when she shook head no. “I'll see to it that you learn. No child I'm responsible for will be unlearned. What can you count to?” She held up her fingers and started counting, counting the first as zero instead of one.

“Zero, one, two, three, four, six, seven, eleven, eight... nine?” She frowned in embarrassment as she realized she made a mistake. Sneaking a glance at Hux, she was glad to see no mocking expression, instead she saw him mulling something over. 

“Hmm. When I am done with my engagements, I will fetch you and we will begin to learn numbers.” It bugged him to hear her recite the numbers incorrectly and knew it would bother him until he corrected it. “You will surely learn under my teaching, I am quite confident.” They reached the cafe to see it nearly empty save for a few stormtroopers eating silently. He was glad it was so, he often chose to have his meals in his quarters alone because he was above the small talk and fraternization he would otherwise fall subject to. After grabbing his own tray he watched Rey trying in vain to reach far enough to get her own before remembering she could use the force. He rolled his eyes and went about getting what he wanted. Rey used to the force to get everything he did, thankfully not too much for her small stomach. She opted for a glass of blue milk instead of the caf he chose to go along with his gruel. Hux swore that once the  _ Finalizer _ was complete he would dine in luxury, he would raise above this daily mush. Obnoxious lip smacking disrupted his train of thought, he looked across the table to the young slob who began to dig in. “Do you mind?”

“No.” With a frown he put down his fork in favor of sipping his caf. “What’s the red thing?” She asked, looking at the apple on her plate that mirrored hers.

“A Corellian apple, have you never had any where you come from?” Her shaking of her head told him the answer. “Watch.” He picked his up, it was a lovely red. Hux sized it up and bit into it. She gasped, a million questions running through her head. “Ish good, now you try.” Rey nodded and fervently shoved the apple to her mouth. She was surprised at the texture and unexpected density. Rey had thought it would be soft from the look of it. She hadn’t had it in her hands when she got it. She simply drifted it onto her tray with the force. It was sweet yet tart in her mouth. 

“This is good!” She spoke with her mouthful.

“Yes, I did say that. But don’t talk with your mouthful, you savage.” He chided. To Rey, his remarks were less and less offensive as desensitization occurred. “Finish your food. I don’t have time for idle chatter.”

“What do you do for fun?” She was unfazed. 

“Fun? Fun is for invalids with too much time on their hands. The galaxy can’t right  _ itself _ .”  

“I spend time with Ren, do you have any friends, Hux?” He scoffed at that in detestation at the idea of friends. To him they meant loss of focus on the battlefield and that could mean death. 

“Friends are for fools. Friends mean weakness and there is no room for weakness within the ranks of the First Order.” 

“That’s not true. Friends are the biggest strength.”  _ Ben told me so. _ It was true that he had, but it seemed so long ago. 

“Let’s put it in means your little mind can understand: imagine losing Kylo Ren.” The implications behind the insinuation had her staring at the General in a blank stare. Having seen her reaction, he nodded, having made his point. Little brown eyebrows knit together on her tiny face before relaxing so quickly it made him uncomfortable to see her change emotions so quickly. Hux sipped his caf. 

“So, you don’t have any friends.” She shot him an overly pitying frown. 

“I have friends!” He found himself shouting defense despite himself. When she shot an eyebrow up in disbelief he tried to name a few. “I have a lot of friends. There’s Mitaka, Phasma, Snoke-- listen, they may not say it but we are completely friends, okay?” He pointed at her sternly. 

“Riiiiiight, and I’m a Jedi Master.” She said sarcastically when Hux’s eyes darted to behind her and he sighed. 

“The trooper of the hour, Phasma. Take her, will you? I’m already late to my meetings.” He said as he finished off his caf and handed his trash to a passing sanitation droid. “I’ll fetch her later, we have some things to discuss.” 

“Yes, sir. Does Lord Ren know?” Phasma seemed to whisper as if the man would mystically appear at the mere mentioning of him. 

“What-- no, and I don’t care. Just don’t sully the girl's mind anymore than it is, I already have a lot to fix.” With a curt nod to both females and a quick adjustment of his apparel, he left them. 

“Do I have to throw away my food if I’m not done yet?” Rey asked.

“No, a growing child requires all the necessary sustenances. We will delay our departure until you are finished, My Lady.” The Captain sat where the General had left an absence and watched contently as the girl finished off her apple and took a swig of blue milk. Phasma would have removed her mask were it not for the location and trickle of stormtroopers coming and going.  


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo has an anxiety attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how else to summarize this chapter... Get ready for a wild ride the next couple chapters.

“What do you mean you want to design your damned mask with Rey?” Snoke whined in what could only be described as an ugly grimace. 

“I feel that it is something that will become part of myself so I would like Rey to help me because she is part of me.” Kylo justified evenly. 

“So be it, wretch. How do you like the Knights of Ren?” Oh the things Kylo could say. 

“They’re a miserable bunch, not very gray but very dingy black as if they’re force signatures were crudely redone. Was that your work?” 

“Do you think I would do such a shoddy job after all my hundreds of years of existence? No, I found them like that. They seemed good enough, are they not?”

“They’re problematic and insubordinate. They don’t respect me, Supreme Leader--” He was getting animated and stopped himself. “There is one that is tolerable, though, such as Asajj Ren. The rest are extraneous, I need no others.” 

“I resurrect a dead Order for you and you tell me that they’re not good enough? So be it, Kylo Ren, kill them.” 

“What?” Kylo hadn’t thought that was where Snoke would go. 

“Kill them. They know too much to be free, galavanting about even within the First Order.”

“Snoke--”

“Create empty spaces amongst their ranks and you may elect who will fill them once the time comes. They are your knights, Ben Solo.” Kylo couldn’t restrain a facial twitch. He didn’t very much like anyone but his Little Star to call him something so intimate and newly taboo. “Do with them as you wish but let me remind you that they can be the cause of harm to Our Little Star. The things they know, the things they've seen can jeopardize our position and her safety.” Kylo felt his conviction appear at the thought of one of them hurting her. “You have a cycle to decide your helmet and do tell me how they die. You may leave.” Snoke picked up a holopad that was hidden amongst the folds of his robes that made him look skeletal due to their thinness. The robes were opaque enough, however, to give him a sinister look. Kylo was more than happy to leave. After exiting the chamber, he paused to find Rey on the planet through the force. She wasn’t far but was thankfully not in their quarters, so he breathed a sigh of relief and headed there for sanctuary. Along the way he came across Hux talking to some important looking people he couldn’t care less of sans Rey. 

“General Hux.” Kylo nearly boomed as he approached the man. The officials around him seemed to scatter like the rats they were. “Why is Rey not with you? I do believe Snoke ordered you to--” He was only angry that the man wasn’t where she was at the current time. 

“Can you relax, she’s in good hands.” Hux near rolled his eyes. Why does he always have to be so kriffing intense all the time. 

“Give me one reason not to choke you right now.” He gritted out between his teeth.

“Phasma. She’s with Phasma, Ren. Relax.” Hux contended, hiding his fear of being choked again. 

“You’re right, she is in good hands. Better hands than yours.” Hux’s jaw clenched at the childish slight. “Well, I’m off then.” And with that he headed to his quarters as if nothing had happened. He wasn’t the slightest bit ashamed of his extremism when it came to her. 

Tapping the temporary passcode Phasma had given him, he entered the space and sighed. He opened the cooled food drawer and gazed at its contents but soon gave up. The weight of having to kill again weighed heavily on his mind, crushing his measly appetite like a bug. He slid down the cabinet and hugged his knees. The chronometer ticked on, the only indication that time was passing at all. A ring at the comm brought him back to focus.

“Kylo, this is Asajj Ren. I have received word from the Supreme Leader that you wished to speak with me.” He huffed weakly and waved open the front door with the force, not bothering to move from his spot on the floor in the kitchen. He heard the clip of her shoes echo and stop before continuing. “Lord Kylo, are you here?” She was about to go up the stairs but looked to the right to see his curled up form. “Oh!” She exclaimed in surprise, raising a hand to her chest. She removed her mask and held it at her side.“Kylo, are you alright?” He couldn’t speak so he nodded. If he spoke he felt he would probably cry. “Should I come back later?” He shook his head no. His face was hidden in his knees. Asajj couldn't help but notice how young he looked, curled into himself on the floor despite his large physique. On instinct she joined him on the cold tiled floor and hugged him. He let out a strangled whimper. No one had held him that way since his mother had years ago. Nearly six years ago since he last felt a mothering touch. “What's wrong? Do you want to talk about it?” He shook his head no. “Alright, that's okay. We don't have to talk about it yet.” Her hand rubbed his back gently and he gathered enough self control to not cry when he spoke.

**“** Snoke, he said-- he told me that I have to kill the Knights-- the Knights I don't like but I only just killed for the first time not even a day ago. I don't know if I can do it, Asajj.” She took a slow breath in through her nose. “You're going to live, if I do manage somehow, so don't worry. You seem trustworthy enough.” He sniffled and leaned into her touch. “I don't think I have the strength to do it, can you help me?” He finally raised his head to look at her with frantic, scared eyes. 

“Of course, master.”

“I don’t deserve that title.” He sniffled again and rose to his feet. Once postrate he cleared his throat and wiped his face. There was a commotion at the door, the two of them froze to listen. It was Rey and what Kylo would presume to be Phasma.

“Sithspit, Asajj, she can't see me like this.” He nearly ran up the steps and flung the door to a bedroom open. “Tell her I'm busy or something.” He bellowed once he flung his boots off and threw the gray blankets over himself. He laid in silence hoping that Asajj would continue to pull through for him. 

“Lady Rey.” Asajj Ren unlocked the door to a slightly confused child. 

“Where's Ren, I feel him in here.”

“My Lady, he's preoccupied with serious matters, I'm afraid. Top secret Knight business.” 

“Is that why you're here?”

“Y-Yes.” Asajj cleared her throat. “Captain, wouldn’t you like to show her your troopers in training? I'm sure My Lady would appreciate it.” Hook, line, sinker. Phasma was nearly being dragged by the child as fast as she was given directions. 

“Kylo?” Perhaps he had gotten out of where he had stowed himself away, but that was not the case. Cautiously, she stepped up the stairs one by one. She entered the room with the door thrown open and saw Kylo sitting up in the bed with his head in his hands.

“Is she gone?” Was all he asked. She took a seat at the foot of the bed, placing her helmet down behind her, and looked around the room like his mother always did a long time ago. 

“Yes, I’ve sent her away. Phasma was with her.” He gave a noncommittal grunt and dropped his hands to look at her. He looked as if he wasn’t on the verge of tears. “Are you ready to discuss it further?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be. Now, do you have any ideas on how to slay them? I was thinking of beheading and such.” 

“I was thinking of sharing the burden between the both of us if we are to be the two surviving Knights by the end. Also, we should take one out after another in quick procession before they catch on.” She had no real attachment to the bunch. They had only just met the month before. He nodded in contemplation. 

“What order and where, though? I don’t know the full capacity of their survival battle instincts. We only have a cycle to do it, too.” He nibbled his lip as he thought. “Is there specific quarters for them? Perhaps we could go from room to room. We should get the force sensitives first.” It still threw him how he had to kill again but he sort of steeled himself.  _ That’s probably Snoke’s plan for this. For me to become a thoughtless killer. ‘So be it’. _ He echoed the words Snoke had kept repeating in his head in a defeated manner. He could only laugh. Asajj was shocked to hear him. It was a deep, mirthless laugh that could have been mistaken for panting. 

“Yes, we do have our own wing, it’s close to Snoke’s chamber.” 

“I’m sorry that you’ll be living there alone soon.” She shook her head.

> “Don’t be sorry. Now, let’s head to your study to properly plan things out.” He didn’t bother putting his boots back on and in fact removed his cowl too before motioning for his conspirator to give him some privacy. She did after a moment of consternation and left for the study with a quiet ‘oh’. He removed his arm wraps and pants for something more comfortable. He pulled a dark gray shirt from a dresser and a black pair of lounge pants that hung loosely around his hips. Before long he was joining her. 

“Now, let’s begin.” He slapped his hands together. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dire misunderstanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was fun to write.

His back was sore from leaning over his desk with Asajj Ren who had sketched the layout of the compound and marked whose room was whose. They had been piecing the plan together for what felt like a short period of time, roughly 15 minutes. When Kylo looked to the chronometer, it had been two hours. He felt for her in the force and found her to be approaching. 

“Shit.” He spat and startled Asajj who looked at him questioningly. “Rey’s on her way back, like, right outside the door. Is there a way to lock this room?” She nodded and showed him how. “Asajj, you are to speak of this to no one. Do you understand?” He wasn’t in the mood for any opposition, he was in the mood for some vitamin Rey. Only a day into this new life with her and he’s exhausted. He waved the door open just as Rey was about to knock and upon seeing him she ran to him, shoving her face into his clothes. 

“Ren!” Ben sighed and scooped her up by the armpits and lifted her into the air with practiced ease, eliciting a groan at the action. “I missed you! Phasmom showed me some stormtrooper training drills and they looked so cool!” He perked an eyebrow and set her back down.

“Phasmom? That’s quite the name, Phasma.” Rey blushed meekly. Phasma removed her helmet to show she was just as tickled pink. “It is a slip of the tongue, I suppose.” He shrugged. “I also suppose it fits.” Rey bounded up the stairs on her hands and feet like an animal but it was quicker than stepping in her opinion. 

“Ren.” Her tiny voice began innocently. “Why is the bed messy? Why are your clothes all over the floor? Why is Asajj Ren’s helmet in here?” Phasma’s eyes shot wide open and gaped at the two of them who stood there, dropping her helmet with a clang in the process. Kylo closed his eyes and could feel his face going red at the assumption he knew she would come to. Asajj Ren at his side tried to form an alibi but was failing and shook his shoulder to get his help on it. An official walked past the still open door to the rest of the base and couldn’t help but sneak a peek and eavesdrop on the fresh juicy morsel. The force sensitive Master of the Knights of Ren was too wrapped up in his own affairs to sense the man but Asajj saw his shadow cross the wall before it scurried away. 

“Rey, I was taking a quick nap and Asajj Ren came with a task from Snoke we had to discuss. I was so tired that I fell asleep in my outer clothes. Only after excusing herself to give me some much needed privacy, I changed into something more comfortable.” He stared at Asajj as he spoke, he knew he wouldn’t be able to look Phasma in the face for a while. 

“Oh, okay.” She replied, accepting it. Phasma on the other hand had cocked her head forward and raised her eyebrows with a smirk. She couldn’t believe the uncanny pair.

“How old are you both?” She said lowly enough to be unheard by the munchkin up the stairs.

“Fifteen.” Kylo supplied.

“I am twenty-four, Captain.” He hadn’t known that. Phasma’s shoulders slumped in denial and she shook her head at the pair. Asajj shot her a beseeching glare but Phasma shrugged it off. 

“I can’t believe you two. And Asajj, really, he’s fifteen.” 

“It wasn’t like that.” Kylo interjected. Phasma saw it as defending Asajj and it only made her refute it more. Asajj concurred with Kylo and crossed her arms across her chest. She knew this was going to be circulating around the base by midnight:

‘Have you heard? The new Knight hooked up a power coupling with his second in command!’

‘Nah, it was a connect-disconnect type of thing for sure.’

‘My buddy saw her without her mask once and he said she was an absolute piffer, I’d charge up her loading ramp.’

The thoughts aggravated her because they would come to pass eventually, especially if only Asajj and Kylo Ren will be living while the others died. She groaned before trudging up the stairs to retrieve her helmet. Kylo and Phasma watched her silently. Phasma placed her helmet on once more and chuckled before leaving them. 

“Good luck with the jaw-wag.” She drawled. Once she left, Kylo skipped steps running up to where the two females were, nearly colliding with Asajj upon entry. 

“Oh--”

“Sorry--” They awkwardly managed. 

“You should-- you should go.” Kylo muttered with no ill will but the intonation said otherwise. Asajj nodded and took her time going down the stairs before Kylo called out to her. “I’ll get in touch to discuss the plan further... I’ll comm you.” She nodded in her helmet again and left. 

“Are they gone?” Rey piped from the bedroom that will be his. She was jumping on the bed.

“Yeah. What are you doing? You’re going to break the bed, Rey.” He grinned and picked up his discarded clothes, depositing them in the clothes bin next to the fresher door. 

“Ben, this is so bouncy!” She said between jumps, her buns flopping haphazardly in danger of becoming undone. He’d have to put in a request for a stockpile of hair ties later. She stopped bouncing and scrambled off the bed and half skipped toward him. Once in front of him she dug into her pocket and fished out a rock attached to a black string via wire casing. She held it proudly toward him.

“I finished it, your gift.” 

“Thank you, Starlight. I love it.” He patted her head affectionately. When she started looking up at him in expectation of something he remembered he still had to give her the bundle of seeds. He had tucked it away in the bedside table and went to fetch it.

“Now, you can’t do anything with your present quite yet, I have to have the necessary facilities added to our little abode. But, here, I hope you like it.” He tossed it around in his hand before handing it to her eager hands. Upon having it, she stared at it intensely and made no move to open it. “Open it.” She didn’t know where to begin so he pulled on the tie holding it closed, allowing the leaf container to reveal a cornucopia of seeds. “They’re all seeds from Yavin-4. My grandfather put it together for me to give to you.”

“But he's dead, Ben.” He sighed.

“It's a long story, but if a blue semi-see-through man with long hair appears to you, tells you he's your great grandfather and looks young and handsome: it's him.” She digested the information but didn't question the great grandfather relation and put it in a box in her mind. “Let's go put the seeds in a safe airtight container, shall we?”

“Put on your necklace first.” She chimed.

“Of course, silly me. What's the rock?” She shrugged her tiny shoulders.

“I dunno, I found it in the meadow before we left.”

“You just... picked up a rock?” He asked curiously. She rolled her eyes.

“It was calling to me.” She watched as he put it around his neck, the string was long enough to let the stone sit in the space between his collar bones. He touched it and wondered why she said that. It appeared to be a normal rock, not like any kyber crystal he'd ever seen. It was a smooth milky white looking thing, about the size of his thumbnail. The crystals he'd seen had either been clear or blue or green but never white so he decided it was a fluke. He'd treasure the gift anyway. 

“Thank you, Rey.” She bared her teeth to him in a wide smile.

“I love you, Ben. This is the best birthday present I've ever had.” She wrapped herself tightly around his leg in a hug. She was seated on top of his foot. 

“Yes, yes. We have to go get a container from the kitchen now. Let's go.” When she didn't move he sighed in joyous resignation before walking onward with her still around his leg, using his arms to help with shifting his weight in a way that allowed him to move. She was getting heavy, he wouldn't be able to do this anymore soon. “Upsidaisy.” She screeched in laughter as he managed to walk toward the stairs. She got off then and made way for the kitchen with Kylo not far behind. She nearly fell on the kitchen tile and Ben had to lunge forward to catch her. Rey was more worried she'd spill the seeds. Carefully, she placed the leaf baggy onto the countertop but a few seeds still managed to escape and roll on the countertop. Ren made quick work of putting them back where they belong. He fetched a tupperware container and placed the seeds, bundle and all, into it before sealing it and putting it in the fridge. He didn't know why he did that but he felt he was supposed to to keep them fresh and she certainly didn't protest. With a content sigh he put a hand out for a high five, which was about waist high. Rey slapped it nice and firm. Kylo pretend that it was overly strong and waved it in the air like it needed cooling off.  _ Wanna help me with my mask-helmet thing? _ The four year old seemed to jog in place for a second or two to get rid of some energy before she screamed in excitement. Today was one of the best. 

  
“I'll take that as a yes.” He pointed toward the couch and coffee table. “Go sit over there and I'll bring out some blank flimsiplasts.” It didn't surprise him when she followed his directions without a thought. He made sure to angle his body in the way of her prying eyes for the passcode. Thankfully, the murder plans were flat against his desk and not tacked up to the wall so she only saw a simple office from where she sat. He soon emerged with a pile of flimsiplasts and a few styluses of different colors. Kylo spread the materials across the table and sat on the floor and wrote ‘Kylo Ren’s Mask ideas’ across the top of one page. “Any ideas?”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleepy Rey takes a nap.

They had managed to agree on some things: the mask would resemble Vader's, there definitely had to be a voice modulator built in, and had to be built to accommodate longer hair in case he decided to grow it out. They disagreed, however, on the color and what material the lines above the eyes should be. He wanted a black, polished helmet with red being the color of the lines. She wanted a beige, matte helmet with silver lines. In an effort to compromise they joined the ideas: a black, matte helmet with silver lines. Giving simultaneous sighs of relief, they laughed. Around the mask plans were the half eaten dinners that he had ordered to be brought to his room specifically via droid. There had to be at least a dozen crumpled up or ripped flimsiplasts on and around the table. Getting back up to clean up, Kylo cracked his back. Rey stayed seated and rubbed her eyes.  _ She must be getting tired. It's a bit too soon to sleep but kark it.  _

“Rey, do you want to sleep in your own room tonight?” He had sensed her nervousness at having to sleep in an unfamiliar place for the first time. “You can come sleep with me if you want.” She shook her head no and got up with a yawn. 

“Uh uh, I'm a big girl.” Trudging sleepily up the stairs, she opened the door across from Ben's that was to be her room. It was nearly identical besides the slightly miniaturized furniture and low light switches on the walls. 

He followed her up to see her lumbering into bed.  “At least put your sleepwear on.” Kylo invited himself into the space and pulled open drawer after drawer until he came across the one with sleeping clothes. He pulled a pair out and tossed it to her. “Here, put this on. Do you want me to put a holovid on?” Kylo pointed to the holoscreen on the wall with his nose. She nodded sleepily. “What do you want to watch?” 

“Is there a show about planets?”

“Uhh, I can see what these people have. You change while I go check.” He shut the door out of courtesy and turned on the holoscreen in his room and flipped through the channels before narrowing the shows down to one series that fit her criterion. He turned his screen off and rasped his knuckles on the door to her room. She muttered for him to come in so he did and found her under the covers. “You didn't brush your teeth, come, I need to do mine too.” He patted her shoulder and she rose with a quiet grunt of loathing the idea of getting up again. He lifted her discarded clothes and tossed them in her hamper. Guiding her into the shared bathroom and lifting her to sit on the counter, he was glad to see two packaged toothbrushes sitting beside the sink. He opened a compartment beneath the counter and found a tube of toothpaste. They brushed their teeth in silence. Neither of them spoke as he undid her hair and brushed it. Now back to her bed, he tucked her in and laid beside her on top of the covers. He crossed his ankles, utilizing the second pillow on her bed to prop his head up comfortably. He willed the wireless activation panel to his hand and flipped to the show he had found before laying the remote on his chest. 

“I wuv ythou, Ban.” Rey murmured around the fingers she had in her mouth. 

“I love you too, Rey.” He breathily said. 

“Mm.” She replied, her eyes struggling to stay open. Rey was a fighter and if she had to fight her exhaustion she would do it until she physically couldn’t. It must have been ten minutes into the show when he looked over to see her asleep and drooling dangerously close to his shoulder. He took that as his cue to leave. Willing deeper sleep upon her, so as to not wake her, he clamored off the bed and deactivated the holoscreen. He decided it best to leave her door open to let the hallway light serve as a bit of a nightlight. 

  
“Sleep well, Rey. May you dream of clear skies.” He called out to her and didn't receive a response. If he knew her as well as he thought he did, he knew to leave his door open that night and to leave the hallway lights on low in case she woke up. Yawning, he sunk into the comfort of his king sized sleep couch. Kylo succumbed to sleep. 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke contacts Kylo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can see why such a meeting would lead to angst.

He had a strange dream. He had dreamed he was back, waking up in his bed at the Academy. He wondered if he had just dreamed of killing everyone because he could hear the same commotion as usual. Tentatively, he dressed in his padawan robes once more. He could feel the telltale feel of the braid on his shoulder. It seemed strange, though, how little Rey didn't wake him up. Ben had woken up on his own. In a panic, he ran to the fresher and looked in the mirror to see if he was still fifteen. If he had dreamed up Snoke, the crushing emotional strain, and the Knights-- he'd have to hand it to his mind for creativity at least. His hair was disheveled so he fixed it before heading to look for Rey so he could find out why she hadn't been practically busting his door down to wake him up with all the might her tiny hands can manage like usual. He passed everyone he came across with the same look of disdain he would normally give them times two to cover up his incredulity of them being living. His dream had been so vivid that he remembered each and every way each youngling and padawan had fallen. He remembered their screams and fear.

“Is Rey here? She didn't come to wake me.” He asked a wary youngling in the most gentle voice he could muster so as to not scare them into crying just by looking at them. The child looked at him as if he had grown another head.

“There's no one named Rey here. Have you checked the senior padawans?” Ben's chest squeezed and he shoved the youngling aside to go to Rey's cot and found it folded perfectly and without her signature trinkets on what would be her bedstand. “Hey!” The youngling yelled out in response to being pushed over before yelling for someone to fetch Master Luke. Ben couldn't think as he tore open the drawer to find it painlessly bare of anything Rey. Her absence caused an unsolicited whimper to escape him. 

“Ben?” Ben’s head whipped and he rose to his feet, angrily stomping over to his Uncle who had just made his appearance. Luke looked the same as the last time he had saw him, but he held a knowing gaze in his eyes that pissed Ben off further. “Masking your hurt with anger, I see.” His uncle huffed with muted distain. “Come.” For some reason, Ben did as he was told and followed the wizened Jedi to his office/sleeping quarters. He silently thanked Luke for that but he didn’t voice it. 

“Where is she?” His voice shook. “Where’s Rey, Luke?” His chin quivered as he watched the old man stare blankly at him, revealing nothing and looking decades older. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. There is no Rey at my Academy, Ben.” 

“You lying sack of shit!” Ben took the steps necessary to loom angrily over his uncle who was growing shorter with age. He could barely contain himself. “What have you done with her?” He yelled. Luke shook his head.

“No, what have  _ you _ done with her?” The sudden force push knocked Ben onto his rear end rather ungracefully. “What have  _ you _ done to  _ them _ ?” Luke’s voice quivered now and his eyes filled with unspent tears before blinking them away. “I left for a routine supply run, and I come back to Yavin-4 and what did I find? WHAT DID I FIND,  _ BEN _ ?” His uncle spat his name as he screamed at him. Ben had never seen him so agitated, it caused him to sit silently from his position on the ground. Suddenly his uncle sent him visions of what he saw. 

\------

The drying red, the sting of iron in the air. The smell of something beginning to rot. Luke had entered atmo. suspecting something was direly wrong when he couldn’t sense the children through the force and rushed out of the freighter upon arrival. The temple was eerily quiet as he approached it and it was only as he made his way to the sleeping quarters did he begin to put two and two together and cried silently. He turned a corner and nearly stumbled as he tripped on a body. It was the most disconcerting sight to see soft morning light cast over a mess of limbs and bodies that seemed to be everywhere he looked. He turned to leave and noticed more carcasses down the other hallway. Luke was so shocked that he had forgotten to look for Ben amongst the mess. He tried in vain to sense the growing young man and fell to his hands and knees thinking that he was also dead. In his absence, his only nephew had died. He sobbed bitterly amongst the young bodies, eventually he couldn’t stand the smell and sight and threw up. 

As time passed, more and more light was shining through the windows of the temple, allowing him to see more carnage but he was spent. He cried all his tears. His stomach was empty. His throat burned. The children he had been raising and training were all one with the force. Luke rose a sticky, blood smattered hand to his mouth as he began to realize he had to tell his sister what had happened to Ben and sobbed tearlessly. He leaned back against the wall, blood dry on his robes and somehow found the energy to rise and teeter his way to his quarters that had bodies slumped against the door. The children must have tried to get in to alert someone off planet for help. 

Silently, Luke cursed himself for always leaving his quarters locked when he was away. He stoned himself to the sight and breathed before he spotted small crooked writing on the wall beside the bodies. His breath hitched as he read it. ‘ _ Ben’ _ . Did the dying child mean that Ben had been the perpetrator? Immediately he entered his room and dropped into a meditation position, tapping into the force as strongly as he could at such short notice. He had to see what had happened before making assumptions. The flashes of the scene had caused him to feel the strongest pull to the darkside he had ever experienced in his life. 

Through the force he saw his nephew in all black among strangers approaching the Academy in the night, brandishing weapons, and guiding them to where the unaware children were sleeping. The slaughter. The screaming and tears and pleads. The feeble attempts of the senior padawans who scrambled together to protect the younglings as they ran to them for sanctuary. They put forth a valiant effort but one by one the selfless padawans fell, leaving the younglings to scatter in different directions but the murderers were one step ahead and blocked the passages at both ends. Some relieved themselves out of pure terror. Some thought quickly enough to pretend to be dead amongst the slain younglings but were soon discovered and skewered where they lay. 

What broke his heart the most was that Ben himself had slaughtered the children. That the boy had let his conspirators deal with the one’s capable of defending themselves while he dispatched the defenseless.

\-----

Ben immediately heaved and heaved until he threw up upon being released from the vision. He cried bitterly, not meeting his uncle's eyes. 

“How did you kill her?” Ben was confused. “She loved you despite my protestations. And you killed her, the person you are force bonded to. There is no greater transgression.”

“No!” He bellowed. “I didn’t kill her. I could never hurt, Rey.” Ben muttered through clenched teeth, finally meeting his uncle’s eyes. To Luke’s horror and heartbreak his nephews dark eyes began to change to a horrendous yellow. “I could kill everyone. I can kill every single person but Rey. You thought I killed her, you old fool. No, she’s with me, safe within the First Order. She’ll be allowed to do what she wants with her life. I won't force her to become a Jedi-- or a Sith. I did what I had to save her. To save her from them.” He continued muttering that he could never hurt her under his breath. 

“Is that what they call themselves now?” Luke said stiffly. Ben hissed as he rose to his feet again, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. His padawan robes had become the dark one’s he traded them in for, eliciting a gasp from Luke. “Who is behind this? You have no idea the reach of the tragedy you committed. You’ve sparked another war.”

“You feeble, old man. You’re ignorance offends me.” Ben growled. “I don’t care about politics, I’ve had more than my own share of it.” 

“While on the topic of interstellar space politics, your mother is heartbroken.” Luke stated matter-of-factly. Ben flinched, one eye losing some of its yellow. “Your father has left once more.” Luke tallied the things off on his fingers. “I am in self-imposed exile because I’d rather repent for my ignorance by myself. It is the Jedi way.” 

“Frack your karking Jedi mantra. You think I care about them? They threw me away!” The dreamscape began to crumble as if an earthquake had struck. “I’ll kill them. I’ll find you. I’ll kill you! I’ll gut you.” 

“If you can find me.” And with that the dream ended and Kylo awoke in a sweat, gasping for breath. His uncle had contacted him while he was defenseless. He had to break something, or kill someone, now. Throwing himself out of bed he fetched his commlink as he began to dress.

“Asajj, it’s time. Scrap the plan.” He growled. 

“Yes, My Lord.” She didn’t object.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's the aforementioned angst. Whoop.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An underwhelming end to the Knights of Ren.

He ended them with ease, effortlessly hacking away at their bodies. He had no remorse for it, he hadn’t the time to care. Abeloth, Sifo-Dyas, Sidious, Oppress, Tyranus Ren. Asajj and himself killed them in that order. At least that part of their original plan remained. Asajj didn’t ask what prompted his sudden change of heart but her expression steeled at the sight of him. As a final, dramatic display for Snoke, he carried their heads. Abeloth and Oppress by their hair, the rest carried by Asajj. The blood dripped from their severed necks as they walked, their jaws slack and eyes open. Quite a few stormtroopers and officials saw and ran in the opposite direction. Only one stubborn red head could stand the ghastly sight.

“The heads of your knights? How intimida--” But Hux was cut off as he was thrown out of the way with a swipe of Kylos hand. 

“Out of my way.” Kylo growled. “I don’t have time for you.” 

Snoke was already waiting for them when they arrived at his chambers. The doors had slid open as soon as they turned the corner to it. Kylo walked until he stood at the foot of the dais. Without a word he dropped the heads onto the ground. They landed with a muted thud. He gave Asajj a look that told her to do the same. 

“Good, very good.” Snoke purred, he took sick pleasure from the sight. “It has only been a day and you’ve completed the task set before you. Well done, wretch.” But Kylo was unaffected, he just stared blankly at Snoke. His lack of reaction made Snoke uncomfortable. “Have you completed your mask as well?” 

“Yes.” To his second in command, “Asajj, thank you, you may go.” Kylo spoke without any intonation. She bowed and left the chamber. “Where do I go to make the mask?”

“The armory. Now, while it must be painful to be gone from Rey’s side for long, I have a mission for you, you are to--” Kylo rose a hand to stop him and interrupt.

“No, no. Snoke, I don’t want to go on any mission that won’t help me progress toward killing my uncle. I must be the one to end his miserable life.” 

“That certainly is a change from our promised course of action.” Snoke sighed and tented his fingers in front of his face. “While increasing the notoriety and immensity of the First Order is priority at the moment, I do concur that ending the Last Jedi’s reign would help gain rapport amongst previously insular groups.” Snoke noticed the slight tinge of brightness in Kylo’s dead eyes. “Boy, has something occurred to make you exhibit such an obvious sign of the dark side?” Kylo furrowed his brows. “Does it have to do with your sudden obsession with Luke Skywalker?” Kylo didn’t answer so Snoke sneered and held a reflective piece of metal out to show the boy his eyes. Kylo took in a small breath. His typically brown eyes were a burnt orange with yellow flecks. He couldn’t believe it and touched his face. He looked ragged and had blood drying on his cheek. Ben had read about this before and had seen pictures of Darth Maul whose eyes were a bright yellow. 

“Can it go away?” 

“Hmm, why? So you don’t have to explain it to Our Little Star why your eyes have changed?” Kylo opened his mouth to retort but closed it in resignation. It was true. She had told him that she liked his eyes. Would she still like them the way they are now? He was afraid to find out. “There is a way.” Snoke droned on. 

“How?”

“I’ve read of people who have been able to get the yellow color to leave their eyes to their natural shade, but the darkside eyes always appeared whenever they were agitated enough.” 

“Yes, Supreme Leader, teach me how. I just need your wisdom.” Kylo lowered his head properly to Snoke for the first time. “I don’t want her to see me like this.” Snoke let out a crazed laugh that left Kylo rigid. 

“Yes, boy. I shall teach you to mask your darkness. It’s going to be useful. The way is to purify yourself of your darkness and to bathe yourself in the light. Of course, that is impossible in concept. You can only coat yourself with the light enough to be gray.” At first, his heart dropped, but then he felt hope. Hope that he would be able to face Rey even if he embraced the dark. All he had to do was give in to the light as much as he gave in to the dark. “This will not be an easy task the further you descend so I would use the force sparingly at best. Listen to me, I’m starting to sound like a gray Jedi because of you children.” Snoke screwed his face up into a sneer. 

“Thank you for your guidance, Supreme Leader.” Snoke liked having his ego rubbed.

“You may go. Submit your mask for creation before you muck something up.” With that, Kylo turned to leave but paused. 

“Supreme Leader, what do I do to immerse myself in the light?” Snoke rolled his eyes.

“Rey is the answer you seek. Now go, wretch, before I run out of patience.” Kylo gave him a quick reverent nod. On the way out he noticed an angry short man had been waiting for him.

“Hux.” Ren began, regarding him. 

“Ren.”

“Is there something that necessitates your being here?”

“You damn well know why I’m here.” In all honesty, Kylo didn’t remember wronging the man in any way. 

“I assure you, that I have no idea what you are going on about.” 

“You brainless barve! You threw me through the air using your fancy force powers.” 

“I do vaguely recall doing that, surely you had deserved it.” Ben rubbed his chin and licked his thumb to wipe the drying blood from his face. 

“Deserved it? You were barrelling through the base with the heads of your knights, dripping blood and gore everywhere. How on Korriban did I deserve being thrown!?” 

“Ah.” Ben remembered, his rage induced trance was the culprit. “That’s right, you were standing in my way rather rudely. Everyone else had the courtesy not to but not you.” 

“That was because you frightened them, you ass.” The General pursed his lips. They stubbornly stared each other down. It was Ren who broke the silence.

“I need to go to the armory. Snoke’s orders were that I go directly there before I ‘muck something up’.” He put air quotes up as he spoke. 

“Do I look like a tour guide to you? Find it yourself, you imbecile.” 

“Watch your tongue before the Supreme Leader hears of this.” Kylo threatened. The General began to walk, Kylo followed behind.

“It’s this way, you barve.” 

  
“Knock it off, dirt general, before I toss you again.” Hux listened for once. 


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren is too tired for Reys shenanigans.

As per Snoke’s instructions, he thought of Rey on his way back to their quarters. It must have been around two in the morning. He thought of her giggle and gap-toothed smile. How her energy always calmed him. Her little freckles that dusted her nose and cheeks. He touched the necklace as if it would ground him further in the light. To his surprise he found that it did. Perhaps it was because Rey had given it to him and that made him associate him with her. Either way, he was glad it helped, for by the time he entered their quarters he saw his eyes in the mirror of the bathroom downstairs and they were brown. He smiled in pride of accomplishing it. He wished he could share it with Rey but he knew he couldn’t. She couldn’t know of his ever growing darkness. The smile faded away. He watched his eyes to make sure they didn’t revert to the mix of yellow and brown. When he was sure they wouldn’t, he returned to his room and undressed, putting the bloody clothes at the bottom of the hamper as he made his way to the fresher. Ben was glad Rey hadn’t woken up while he was gone getting business done. 

His shower was quick, getting what needed to be done done. He should have known better than to leave his bedroom door wide open but he had been sure that if she hadn't come in so far that she wouldn't that night. Oh how wrong he was. He had walked out of the bathroom clad only in a towel around his waist and using both hands to work another towel through his sopping locks. Unaware of her presence and how she studied him. The nearly naked Ben pulled open a drawer and fished out a comfortable looking pair of undergarments. Rey got an eyeful of his rear thanks to the light from the hallway and from the bathroom. Knowing that she would most likely be yelled at for peeking, she kept as silent as possible as he continued to dress. She was faintly surprised that he opted not to wear a bedshirt but was even more by how tired he seemed. Hadn't he also gone to sleep? She hurriedly hid in his mess of a blanket even further until she was completely submerged. It smelled faintly of sweat and she wondered why. Instead of turning to go back to sleep he grabbed the used towels and dropped them unceremoniously into the hamper before returning to the bathroom to do gods knows what. 

Kylo had gone to the bathroom to check his eyes once more and thought happy thoughts while clutching the milky stone to ensure they would remain brown until the next time he killed or let his emotions get the better of him. Ren let out an uneasy breath because he of all people knew how easy it was to anger him. On his way back to bed he wondered why Hux hadn't commented on his eyes. Surely he saw the discoloration and knew why. Hux seemed to be a smart man. He had to have seen it. Ren decided to drop the thought and get back to sleep, strengthening his mental walls as best as he could to prevent another clandestine meeting with the dastardly Jedi. Upon sitting on the bed he decided to check on Rey one more time to be safe. Her bed, however, was empty. Immediately, his brows furrowed in well deserved worry. Back at the Academy she had gotten herself stuck somewhere more than a few times, often in the most secluded areas. After a few times of saving her he came to realize the common factor among the places: spare parts, silence, and how she always got stuck trying to get something just out of reach. Stubborn as always, she chose everytime to use her own powers to try to get it, never choosing to use the force.

She wasn’t asleep, he knew that by the consciousness of her energy. On instinct he searched her out and found her to be in his room. He was thoroughly perplexed as to when she got in there and went back to investigate. 

“Rey?” She chose not to respond so he repeated. “Rey?” He kneeled onto his bed and moved his clump of a blanket to hear a squeak in surprise. He sighed, he was too tired for this, his prior burst of energy was drained after the adrenaline wore off. “Rey, when did you get in here?” He kept digging until her form appeared. Kylo hoped to force that his eyes were still brown. In the darkness he could hardly see her face because he was blocking the faint light from the hallway. 

“When I heard the fresher turn on.” The implications that came along with that caused Kylo to stiffen but not comment. “Why do you look so tired?” She couldn’t help but ask. 

“I just am.” 

“Oh.”

“Can we go back to sleep?” He laid down in bed next to her with his back to her. His hair was still damp and wet his pillowcase a bit. She pouted as if that wasn’t what she wanted to be doing. He took note of the feeling that came across their bond and sighed again. “Do you want a snack, a drink, or something?”

“Yeah.” She spoke lowly as if she had just been scolded. 

“Then let’s go see what we have.” He regretfully forced himself out of bed with a whining groan. She was already off the bed and waiting for him by the door. Kylo could tell she had more questions in store for him. The tile was cold against their bare feet, it woke him up a bit. “Let’s see... we have quinto grain cereal. We can put some jogan fruit jam on some bread. Do you want some blue milk?” She nodded. “Should I warm it up?” 

“Yeah.”

“‘Yeah’ what?”

“Yes,  _ please _ .” He patted her head affectionately. When the drink was ready he carefully handed it to her after stirring it. He had taken a sip first to make sure it wasn't to hot and wasn't too cold. It was perfect. 

“Hey Ben.” She began between sips. “Why did you go wash?” He didn't appreciate all the questioning but gave an answer, a not so false one.

“I got sweaty.”

“Was it too hot under the blankets?”

“Yeah.” She furrowed her brows and nodded as if in contemplation.  

“I figured. You're blankets smelled a little like sweat.” He opened his mouth to speak but hadn't felt it necessary. They were silent as she drank, him leaning against the cabinets with his arms crossed. The silence had him almost falling asleep while standing up. “Hey, Ben.” He blinked the beginnings of sleep away at her words. He looked up and dragged his hand across his cheek. 

“What is it, Rey?” 

“You have a pale butt.” He gawked at her directness.

“You saw that, did you?” He tried to hide the awkwardness he was feeling by clearing his throat. Kylo knew the blame was on him for not being careful enough.

“It wasn't on purpose, it was completely on accident. I didn't mean to watch you dress. Yours is the first butt besides my own that I've ever seen, it was pretty nice.” She blurted out as quick as she could before he could scold her as she was expecting him to. She just complimented his pale rear in an attempt to pacify him. She expected to get an earful but he only took in a long, deep breath and let it out slowly.

“If it wasn’t intentional, why did you enter my bedroom when you heard the fresher turn on?” She opened her mouth to speak but shut it as he stared her down without emotion. He wasn't angry though so his eyes remained brown. She finished her cup of blue milk without speaking and he took it and put it in the droid receptacle to be cleaned. “Whatever your reasons were, just don't do it again.” 

“Okay.” She responded drearily. Feeling sympathy for the little star he once more patted her head and directed her back to his room. It seemed enough to appease her judging by how at home she made herself. He wanted to sleep as soon as he threw the blanket over them both and settled down but she kept talking. 

“Hey, Ben.” She whispered softly. He was too tired to speak.

_ What is it? _ He prompted through their connection.

_ I was wondering if all butts looked like that. Mine is pale too, why is that? _ He took a second to mull it over through the fogginess of exhaustion.

_ Every butt is different. Our choobies are pale because they never see the light of day.  _

_ You have a freckle on your left choobie cheek, did you know that?  _

_ No.  _

_ What about the freckles on your back? _ He was laying with his back to her. 

_ Yes, Rey. I know I am a freckled freak. No need to remind me.  _ A tiny hand tickled his back, causing him to tighten his muscles at the sensation. His skin was yet to be marred. 

_ Don't say that, I like your freckles and how they make conster--conte-- constellations.  _ He smiled despite his fatigue. 

_ Okay, okay. Now go back to sleep. I'm tired.  _

She sighed and withdrew her hand only to shuffle behind him until her back was against his. 

_ Good night, Pa. _

_ Forget what I said before about calling me dad. It makes me uncomfortable. He frowned.   _

_ Oh. _

_ Yeah. Just call me Kylo, Ren, or Ben, okay?  _

_ Okay, good night, Ben. _

  
_ Good night, Rey. May you dream of clear skies.  _


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux fetches his student.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really loving my nicknames for Hux.

0600 hours, make the bed, shower. Dress impeccably, eat, depart. Such was the routine for Brendol the second. It had been distilled upon him for years at the Academy on Arkanis that his father was in charge of, even having to follow it on his rare visits home. Old habits die hard. He had nothing planned until after lunch. After remembering how time had gotten the better of him at his  _ Finalizer  _ meeting and he hadn’t had the time to teach Rey, he left his quarters and headed to Kylo’s. Hux was taught to walk with a purpose, as he continued to do as effortlessly as breathing. He had left his large overcoat in his room, figuring he wouldn't have to go out of the base until much later. Unsurprisingly, there were hardly any people in the halls besides a patrolling pair of troopers. His niche wasn't far from Kylo’s but it was two floors above so he had to take the tube down. It hadn't occurred to him that maybe they would still be asleep. After a minute or two of incessantly beeping for him to open up, an irritated Ren answered. Hux saw that the boy's eyes were brown and that it must have been a trick of the light earlier. The General eyed him and decided to comment on his state of undress.

“Oh my, how unseemly. You're half naked answering the door.” The just awakened man didn't find it at all amusing.

“What do you want, you unbaked pastry?” Kylo droned sleepily. Hux frowned. 

“I am here to collect Rey for her lesson.” 

“What lesson? I was never told of this.” Kylo sobered up at the mention of her and crossed his arms. 

“Have you also never had her practice counting? I'm to teach her. I was going to yesterday if I had the time but, sadly, I did not so here I am.” Hux gestured to himself. Ren didn't like the idea of sending her away when she was sleeping so peacefully in his bed but he knew he certainly hadn’t had the time to help her with it at the Academy. She had only just begun to learn them when they had left. Reluctantly, he agreed.

“Let me get her ready, wait in the living room.” With that, Hux let himself in. He couldn't help but compare it to his. It was about equal size but had the opposite lay out, he could note from the couch. He waited until the girl appeared at last, teary eyed from a yawn. Kylo had put on a shirt. She was wearing what appeared to be a miniature officers uniform, it was quaint. 

“G’mornin, Hugs.” She yawned as Kylo picked her up to sit on a stool at the island of the kitchen. He quickly gave her a breakfast of sliced fruit, blue milk, and toasted bread with blue butter before fixing to make himself a cup of caf.

“Want some?” Kylo gestured to Hux who nodded. Kylo made one more mug of the hot caffeinated drink. He brought the mugs to the living room and handed one to Hux who muttered a brief thank you. Kylo made a point of sitting on a lounge chair opposite Hux and allowing him to watch Rey eat at the same time. Hux began the conversation but low enough for her to not hear.

“What was that last night?” He asked quietly, watching Kylo sip after taking a deep breath through his nose. He noted that the man's raven mop was an unruly mess from sleep. 

“I don’t know what you mean. What part?” 

“The part where you killed your knights.” Kylo’s jaw visibly clenched before he tongued his cheek and sipped again, never taking his eyes off Rey back. 

“Snoke’s instructions were to dispose of the Knights I found extraneous, so I did.” Hux shivered at the apparent lack of remorse in his voice. “It doesn't affect you.” 

“I suppose I shouldn't ask too much of it.”

“You assume correctly because I don't want to talk about it.”

“One more question, though. What are we to tell Rey when she asks about them?” Both men sipped. 

“Tell her they were sent on missions on the other side of the galaxy that required them to relocate there permanently.” Hux accepted the excuse out of pity, nodding imperceivably. 

“I'll inform my people.” 

“Good.” Kylo chugged the last of the hot drink, savoring the way it went down. “Rey, sweetheart, Hux is going to be teaching you today once you finish breakfast.” The Master of the Knights of Ren rose and deposited his used cup, patting her on the back as he passed her by. 

“What are gonna do while I'm learning?” He shrugged and rubbed his neck. 

“I should probably practice my forms. I think I'll do that.” He waited patiently for her to finish before collecting her dishes and lowering her back to the floor. “Now, off you go, Star.” He patted her toward Hux who had risen and was standing near the door. “”I trust you’ll be on your best behavior?”

“I can’t promise anything but I’ll try.” She gestured for him to lower to her level so she could hug him and place a sloppy, sleepy smooch to his cheek. He didn’t wipe it until she looked away. He rose to his full height and gave Hux the go ahead. Kylo watched her as she left and stood staring at the door for a few seconds longer than necessary before going back to his room to change into training garb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All your comments are amazing and they give me strength. I love the feedback, thank you. Please continue to treat me well, I try my hardest.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo overhears some gossip and a training sequence.

Half way on the way to the Knights training room he remembered to check if his mask was ready. Before he approached the armory wing he heard his name being mentioned in a conversation and decided to listen in. 

“Hey Mitaka, is it true that you saw the new guy, Kylo Ren, and Asajj Ren in his chambers?” A man who he presumed would be Mitaka responded smugly.

“Hmph, yeah. Phasma brought the girl in and interrupted them, their faces were red and everything. You could totally tell they got it on.” 

“Okay, but Asajj Ren... with  _ that _ guy? He’s got a screw loose from what I heard.” Kylo didn’t like that but remained silently eavesdropping when a third voice chimed in.

“Yeah, I saw him with her, he was having her carry the heads of the other Knights... just their heads.”

“What!? No way.” The first voice said.

“It’s true, I saw the blood trails myself. It was quite the sight to behold. And yes, Asajj Ren was with him holding heads. They seem to be quite the pair.” The third voice, distinctly feminine he noticed, supplied.  

“They seem to be getting on  _ pretty well _ , if you catch my drift.” Mitaka piped up. “I did overhear their nefarious activities. The bed was messy, his clothes were on the floor, and her helmet was on his bed.” Kylo was embarrassed that the incident was being gossiped about and blushed despite himself from where he was hiding. 

“I don’t blame the guy for taking charge like that. I mean, have you seen her ass? I’d tap that with my blaster any day.” An uproar of laughter erupted. “Her ass in that black regalia the Knights wear does wonders for enhancing her rack as well.” The first voice jeered. 

“What are you talking about, you fool? She has no tits to speak of under that little black dress, it’s her ass that makes her a piffer.” Their lack of class disturbed him. He thought everyone on the planet was high in the ranks and therefore upper class. Mitaka gasped in disbelief. 

“You’re the blind one, Mitaka. There’s a distinct allure of tiny tits. They fit directly in your hands, perky little lumps they are. You wouldn’t understand ‘cause you’re virgin.” Kylo let his eyebrows rise and jaw drop at the jab, it was quite entertaining. 

“Hey, this isn’t about me. This is about that Kylo guy.” Kylo noticed that Mitaka didn’t deny the accusation. “Have you seen him? He looks like he weighs 30 pounds wet.” 

“He looks so young.” The feminine one said. “I wonder what he did to get into the Order.”

“Probably steal some younglings lunch credits.” The first voice joked, causing more laughter. Kylo decided it was time to cut their fun short and made himself visible. The three froze at the sight, not one of them spoke.

“I do believe that I did slaughter my fellow padawans and younglings at Luke Skywalker's dinky Academy. There was nothing to it, really.” He revealed, his eyes beginning to shift back to a burnt orange. “If I could kill children in cold blood and kill my knights just the same, what do you think I could do to you all?” The three gasped in horror and fear of what he was going to do but he turned his attention to Mitaka. “You, stop spreading false rumors. Asajj Ren and I were planning out the elimination of the other Knights and were interrupted. If I do recall, they are now dead, right? And what do you know of her... assets? She wears a kriffing cape and of course armor isn't flattering you buffoon, it's for protection. In battle the enemy won't give a pfassk if she's well endowed. Perhaps instead of your idle chatter, you could be doing something useful so early in the day. If Asajj were to have overheard instead of me, force help you. If I hear anymore of this-- from anyone-- you better hold on to your gods damned hats because I'll have your asses and display your scalps around the base as an example. Now, out of my way you bastards, I need to get my mask.” He snarled at Mitakas cowering form and cast a glare to the other two offenders before leaving. The looks on their faces having provided more amusement. 

“Your Lordship,” the weaponsmith addressed with a bow, “your mask is completed as ordered. Would you care to try it on?” Kylo was slightly thrown at how fast they managed to make it. 

“Yes. How was it completed so fast, I put in the order only hours ago?” The smith smiled proudly.

“I figured you would want it as soon as possible, so I expedited the order.” Handing him the mask with care. Kylo tossed it around in his hands a few times, it seemed decent enough but he wouldn't know for certain until he tried it on. So he did. In the mask, his sight was compromised. But it hid his age, it had a voice distorter. He was content. 

“Thank you.” His voice sounded deeper and more menacing, he liked it. 

“Any time, My Lord.” 

“Right.” He departed for the Knights training room with a pep in his heavy footed gait. Inwardly, he hoped Asajj was there so he could show off his mask. After digesting the thought he shook it out of his mind. She was his second in command not some maternal figure to replace the years without his mother. He knew his eyes were no longer brown due to his mini outburst but since he had the mask he didn't care. He'd have to ask Snoke more about it later. For now, he wanted to practice his forms. 

The room was the same as the other training rooms Phasma had shown to Rey and him but had some minor modifications. There was a force sensitive training corner and a flight simulator.  _ Rey might like that, I should tell her about it later. _ Removing his mask, he grabbed a training saber from the wall of weapons and moved to the center space so he had room to move. He had already mastered Shii-Cho, Shien,  and Soresu, so he decided to work on his Makashi. He took a deep breath and dropped into a stance and paused before bursting into motion. He swung as if the sword weighed nothing and it was as if it were an extension of himself. He didn't get far before slipping up and losing his balance. In frustration he decided to change to Niman instead. It was his preferred form due to the balance of force and saber combat. It wasn’t because it was the Diplomates form like Luke had once assumed. His body moved fluidly in well practiced ease. He knew that he should get more into Juyo though but decided it was for a later time, a time after he mastered his emotions. Kylo went on and on, forgoing water. He had forgotten to hydrate due to his trance like state as his body did what it was used to. The room was silent beside his breathing and whistle of the saber in the air. He was lost in his mind, not thinking a thought as if his mind was disembodied. A sound at the door caused him to jerk his body to face it in defense. After recognizing the mask he dropped his guard and left a fighting stance.

“Asajj.” 

“Kylo.” 

“How’d you-- how’d you sleep after...” He didn’t know how to word it. 

“After we killed the others? I slept fine.” She walked into the room and grabbed another saber from the wall’o’weapons. “How about you? You seemed out of it.” She swung, he had expected the blow and skillfully blocked. “Your eyes were a crazy color.” With a growl he lunged with his sword but she dodged the blow and circled him. He was already sweaty with exertion. “They were brown before, why have they changed?” He swung his training blade after her and followed up with a slash that she blocked with her saber inches from her face. 

“I slept fine but Rey walked in on me dressing after I used the fresher.” He ignored her other questions for the moment so he could focus. Asajj redirected his sword and kicked his legs out from under him. He landed ungraciously on his back. He stared up at her in ire. 

“That must have been fun.” She teased. “Did she see your manhood?” She laughed at the thought He blushed furiously, his face turning even redder than it already was from practice. She reached her hand out to help him up, he accepted the help.

“No, it wasn't fun. I was too tired and she only saw my butt and wouldn't shut up about it.” 

“Oh, poor you.” She mewled in false sympathy. “I saw you were using Niman. Why not Juyo?” He wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. 

“I don't know Juyo.” 

“With your temperament, I'm surprised. Now, I'm no Sith Lord but I can teach you if you would like.” 

“I had you pegged as an Ataru fighter with all that dodging.” He eyed her. She wasn't petite or thick but something in between. She removed her mask to reveal a sweaty face. A quick smirk was his only forewarning to her attack but he missed the meaning of it. A solid hit connected with his shoulder. He yowled but he had no time to nurse it because she returned with another blow to his side that he managed to deflect. Kylo force pushed some space between them so he could collect his bearings. Her face was stoic, stolid, and serious. He’d read that trained users had to maintain a calm mind in order to properly practice it. What she was doing, however, was nothing like what he read. She hadn’t dropped into a stance, she just  _ did _ . He also read that some experienced pressure when using it. The Ferocity Form. 

“You can never tell what a person has up their sleeve or if they are playing a character. You should always be on guard, always alert. You never know who might strike you.” She said evenly before continuing. “There are two sides of Juyo: Vaapad and the Ferocity Form. I know the latter so I’ll be teaching you that. It has it’s strengths but it also has its weakness. Try to figure it out.” She closed the space between them and pressed her blade against his that was raised in defense. Kylo remembered reading that Juyo sacrificed defense in favor of offense. He switched from Soresu to Makashi. “Smart choice.” She released the pressure and stepped back to watch him like a predator stalks its prey. “In case you couldn’t already tell, I am force sensitive but I can’t use the force.” She side stepped and tried to hack into his side but he blocked and pushed but she kept her footing enough to rush behind him and hit him behind the knee, sending him to a knee. “You can’t properly practice Juyo without the thrill of a duel. You need an opponent.” He waited for her to strike him but she never did. “I’ll be here if you need one. You look like you need some water.” She helped him up. “How long have you been in here?”

“Why, what time is it now?” 

“Ten hundred hours.” He let out a whistle.

“I guess I started around seven?” It was her turn to whistle as she lead him to the door but then he remembered his mask. “Oh, Asajj, wait a minute. I have something to show you.” He lead her by the hand to where he had placed his helmet. He picked it up and handed it to her eager hands. 

“Woah. You only got here yesterday-- how did you get it so fast?” 

“The armory guy rushed it. I actually only put the order in after I finished with Snoke last night.”

“When did you go get it?”

“Around six-thirty, I suppose.” 

“Sheesh. Anyway, I have paperwork to do, go wash up. You’re a sweaty mess.” He looked down at himself and he was, indeed, drenched. Kylo felt dirty and went with her idea of washing after returning to his quarters. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EYE OF THE TIGERRRRRR


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo does some errands.

Freshly washed and dressed, he decided to check on Rey. Halfway to Hux’s he remembered that his eyes had changed. He grasped the milky stone and focused. He thought of warm sunshine and the smell of a forest after it rained. Removing his mask to check his eyes, he looked into the reflective eye part of his helmet and sighed in relief that they had returned to normal. Figuring that he’ll surprise her with it he opted not to put it back on. He stood in front of Hux’s door, knowing it was his due to the nameplate next to the door. For some reason, he found himself hesitating to knock. He did eventually knock of course, hating every second he had to stand waiting for Hux to open the door. 

“Kylo.” Hux addressed dryly.

“Hux.” Kylo replied, just as dry.

“Are you expecting me to let you in?” 

“Yes, why wouldn’t you?”

“I’ve got her doing drills. She's been doing well. Don’t disturb her important education, I don’t have all that much free time left. Come back in two hours.” Hux shut the door in his face, leaving Kylo very much unhappy but he let it be. Not knowing what else to do, he put in the request for a garden to be added to their place. He made it clear that it should be large and have good soil. As he walked the halls to the hangar where he was told his shuttle was stored, he was glad to see all conversations drop and for people to flee from his path.  _ Mitaka must have did as I told him.  _ He smirked from beneath the mask he had put back on after being turned away by Hux. Kylo was still a little embittered by it. The maintenance crew was working diligently on his craft and didn’t notice him approach. 

“Is there something wrong with my shuttle?” He asked, startling more than one technician. 

“Nothin’ serious, sir. Only a few loose wires an’ blown bulbs that need replacin’. ‘Should be space ready in a jiffy.” 

“Do you have any ship mods available?”

“Yessir, we have a few in stock. Do you want us to install one for ya?” The tech had an unusual accent Kylo couldn’t place but he seemed hickish. 

“No, I can do it myself. Just show me what you have.” 

“Awrighty. One second, Boss.” The tech turned around to holler at the other two techs. “Aye, I’m off ta show ‘im the mods we got. Ya’ll keep doin’ what yer doin’. I’ll be right back.” Somehow, he managed to take an hour to show him all of the types because of all the anecdotes he kept going off on. He’d chosen to pick one’s that were similar to his father’s ship because he knew the combination was good. Telling the tech to save the mods for him for later, he left the hangar. He walked without a destination but somehow came to stand at Hux’s room again. It shook him how he had nothing to do, or at least nothing he wanted to do. His last option to waste time was to go visit the evil giant. 

\----

“Ah, little wretch, why have you come? I was going to call you down later but your appearance has saved me some time.” Kylo didn't speak, he didn't dare tell him that it was his last resort to preoccupy himself. “Hmph, you've already got your helmet. It looks a bit like your grandfather's.” They stared at each other silently before Snoke continued. “You're so troublesome. I supposed you needed your own saber so I have a mission for you to complete.” Kylos jaw clenched behind his visor. “You are to go to Lothal and get a kyber crystal, if the one you've chosen isn't sith red, get one that is.” 

“Thank you, Supreme Leader. While I am away may I ask of you to look more into the masking of my eyes. I feel I'll need a permanent solution if I'm to serve you in the dark side.” Ren gestured to his face before clasping his hands behind his back again. Snoke waved a hand at him. 

“Sure, whatever, I have all the time and resources in the galaxy to pander to your fancies. After you complete your saber I have so graciously decided to let you make, you are to fly to Bespin. I have been told by an informant there that Lando Calrissian has been in contact with Skywalker. You are to extract the information and return.”

“May I ask how long I will be away?”

“Roughly a cycle if you are quick to make your saber. It sometimes takes days. I'll be sending the other Ren to accompany you. I don’t want you flying off the handle too much too soon. Arrange for your shuttle to be prepared for take off by tomorrow. You'll be leaving as soon as possible.” 

“Thank you, Supreme Leader.” Kylo bowed his head. “Who will watch Rey in my absence?” 

“I don't care, pick whoever. Now go away.” And so he left the chilly, dank chamber wondering how his saber will look. How would Rey handle the news of his departure? He hoped she would be understanding but she would probably freak out again like she did on his shuttle. He passed a chrono on the wall, it was roughly eleven twenty, he decided to return to the hangar. 

“Oh hey, Boss. Back ag’in so soon? Your Upsi Lady is ready for whene’er ya need it ta be. We jus’ finished with the minor repairs an’ restocked the supplies on board. Like my ma always used ta say: better to have more than less.” The hickish tech said. 

  
“Uh, right. Supreme Leader Snoke has told me to prepare my shuttle for travel by tomorrow morning. I'll be heading to Lothal so add any necessary equipment for the trip. Have a nice day, gentlemen.” Kylo tipped his helmet to the other two techs who were working on the ship next to his. He made sure to dip out of there before the one tech could tell another story. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little sad to see the views slowing down :(


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo tells Rey about his mission.

Ren walked with a hurry back to Hux’s place to finally be able to check on Rey. Before knocking he removed his mask and held it behind his back. Within seconds Hux answered. They exchanged their now customary greeting. 

“Ren.”

“Hux.”

“Come in, I'm having her do a review of what she learned today in my study.” Kylo eagerly entered the space, he noticed it was a flipped version of his own. Following Hux’s steps he peeked into the room. Rey was sitting at his desk swinging her feet as she diligently wrote. 

“Hux. I'm done. Can I-- Ren!” Rey exclaimed after noticing he was there. She came bounding over to him with her paper in hand. Handing it off to Hux, she threw herself at Kylo who picked her up into a bear hug after placing his helmet down beside himself, continuing to hold her in his arm as he spoke to her. 

“How was it?”

“It was great, Hux is a tough teacher though.” She whispered the last part in his ear and he softly purred with laughter. 

“Can I take her back now, Hux?” He asked the shorter man who was checking over what she had written. 

“For now, yes. Tomorrow I will be expecting her here promptly at 0700 hours for more lessons. She's a quick study but she has a lot to learn.” Hux diagnosed from her paper with a sigh. “You did well, Rey. I expect the same amount of effort tomorrow.” He told her, trying to cover up the praise with a reminder. Kylo nodded to the man and gave his thanks.

“Rey, I have a surprise. Close your eyes.” She did as she was told. He pulled the helmet to his hand using the force and held it in front of her. “You can open your eyes now.” He was delighted to see her elation. Her childlike excitement rubbed off on him as she tried it on. He couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous she looked. She took it off and put it on him. “Do you like how it turned out?” His voice was distorted and she giggled. 

“I love it!” She smooched the mask. 

“Can you go now? I have things to do.” Hux popped their little bubble and ushered them out. He thankfully walked in the opposite direction that they were. Together, her still in his arm, they made their way back to their quarters. 

“I'm so hungry.” 

“It is around lunch time. Do you want me to make you a sandwich?” She nodded. The looks they got from passerbys were disturbed. The violent, crazy man was holding a youngling to his hip-- and she was okay with it. People were beyond confused but neither of them paid them any mind. Rey was detailing how her lesson went and what Hux taught her. Ren was listening closely. He set her down when they stood outside the door to their place and punched in the code. Once inside she lumbered up onto a stool at the kitchen island with a huff. Kylo removed his mask and set it down on the surface of the countertop. She watched him make them both sandwiches with her chin held in her hands. Rey liked watching him do things, especially when she could see his back. His hair was loosely curled on the ends. She had the urge to run her hands through it. He turned back to look at her with a brow raised, she must have been projecting the thought. Turning back to the sandwiches he was making he told her to go wash up. She did. Entering the downstairs fresher room she opened drawers to make footholds so she could reach the sink. By the time she was done and fresh the sandwiches were already done. Kylo had two in front of himself and there was one where she was sitting. It was cut in half down the center. 

“Thank you, Ben.” He hadn't touched his yet and didn't until she dug in. While she was finishing the first half of hers he was on to his second sandwich. He didn't eat like a savage, he just took big bites. Between bites he told her that he put in the request for the garden. “That's great, how long before it's made?” He swallowed another bite and shrugged. “Hopefully not too long. I want to see the seeds grow.” Sitting in silence, they finished their meal without speaking. 

“Hey, Rey, umm, Snoke-- Snoke is sending... me to Lothal for a cycle?” He stumbled on his words as he decided that it was time to break the news and put the dishes away. 

“Oh cool, I can’t wait to go, when are we going?” 

“Rey, it’s me that’s going. You’re going to have to stay here while I’m away.” Her joy faded and she frowned. “But while I’m gone, I found a fun flight simulator for you to try. It’s in the Knights wing.” 

“Will Asajj be watching me?”

“No, Starlight. She’s coming with me.” 

“Why does she get to go and I can’t?” Rey whined, feeling hurt. 

“Rey, we’re going there so I can make my lightsaber, relax. We’ll be back before long and I’ll have an awesome saber to show you. Doesn’t that sound exciting? Rey? Rey...” She had began to cry so he rushed to her side and held her. “It’s okay, you’ll be safer here than with me.” She continued to cry despite his cooing. “Oh, Rey, it’s alright.” 

“I don’t want you to go. Don’t leave me alone. Don’t leave me alone.” She sobbed in the crook of his neck as he picked her up and rocked her in his arms. He felt tears threatening to form as well. 

“It’s alright. I’m here. I’ll be back. I’ll always come back. I promise.” He held her tighter as his voice grew hoarse. She whimpered in his arms. “Don’t be afraid.” He could fear her terror of being abandoned through their bond. “I feel it too.” It was true. His own family had abandoned him in the same way, dumping him off at the Academy and never coming to visit. “I would never do that to you, never. Do you understand?” He made her look him in the face, she nodded and rubbed tears away. He pressed a long kiss to her forehead. “You’re my own star, Princess. No matter what, I will always come back to you.” Kylo proved the truth of the statement through their bond. Her breathing was slowly growing even, she yawned. “Let’s get you in the tub and then to nap, how’s that sound?” She grunted and rubbed her eye. 

Kylo carried her up the stairs and told her to get some sleep clothes to wear after her bath. He filled it with water and made it fill with bubbles, figuring she would like it. She did. He handed her a washcloth and placed a towel beside the tub for her. “I’ll be right in my room, I’ll leave the door open, okay? Call me if you need anything. Be careful getting in and make sure not to fall asleep. The shampoo and conditioner are right there.” He pointed to the light blue and light pink containers to the side of the tub. “The, uh, the body soap is that green bar over there.” It was beside the two containers. He took her chosen sleeping clothes and laid them on the counter across from the bath. “Okay, have a good bath.” He turned to leave but she piped up. 

“Can you take my hair ties out?” 

“Oh-- oh, yeah yeah yeah, come here.” For some reason it had slipped his mind that she’d need help. He left and she didn’t ask for him again until a minute later, after he was beginning to read over a book he swiped from the now deceased Oppress’s room. 

“Ben, I can’t get in.” He cautiously approached the open doorway but paused, closing his eyes before he saw anything. He saw with the force where she was and lifted her up by the armpits into the tub. “Thank you.” She said but then she giggled. “Why are your eyes closed, you weirdo?” He sighed and left the room with a reply.

“You’ll understand when you’re older.” He only opened his eyes after he sat back down on his bed. He skimmed the holo for anything especially interesting.  _ Darth Revan: The Jedi, The Sith, The Legend. _ The title was a little much but he decided to read it anyway.  _ He was a jedi, yada yada yada, sith, yada, Bastila Shan, force bond-- _ Force Bond. 

_ ‘"It is the bond that develops between apprentice and master when one truly understands another. It is developed over time through understanding of each other. In Revan and Bastila’s case, it was when she used her force energy to allow Revan to survive the attack of Darth Malak."’ _

Kylo reread the passage again. And again. And again. What did it mean? He tried to apply it to his bond with Rey but couldn’t explain it. If anything, she should have formed a bond with Luke, her teacher. Neither of them had been mortally wounded before. He didn’t understand and it frustrated him.

“Ben?” The stewing man was broken from his thoughts.

“Yes, Rey?” He said, approaching the door. 

“Can you wash my hair?” He gawked at the question but rolled up his arm wraps either way. She was covered with her wet washcloth and the bubbles still clouded the water. He went to his knees after squeezing shampoo into his hand. She was leaning with her back against the side of the tub. He quickly worked the shampoo into a lather and massaged her scalp. It was soothing for the both of them. “Ben?” 

“Hmm?” He tipped her head back and rinsed the shampoo out, using his one hand to keep the streams out of her eyes. 

“This is nice.” 

“Hmm.” Ben filled his palm with conditioner, rubbing his hands together to coat them before running them through her wet hair. It was a different sensation to the bubbles of the shampoo. It was smoother, softer. He stuck the tip of his tongue out in concentration. It was relaxing to run his fingers through the length of her hair. He conditioned the tips and the roots evenly. Their bond hummed with calm satisfaction as he rinsed the conditioner out. He sighed contently, rising to grab another towel to wrap her hair up in. “Come out.” He grabbed the other towel and spread it out to her at full length. It blocked his line of sight so he was thankful for that as she hopped out, taking the towel and wrapping it over herself. She turned to face him and he dried her hair as best he could with the second towel before wrapping it up. He made sure to drain the water in the tub before he left her to dress. 

He flicked the holoscreen on in his bedroom and turned on the show Rey was watching the other night. It was quite interesting, he found, after he removed his cowl and arm wraps and laid in bed. She removed the head wrap after dressing. Jumping to turn the lights off in the bathroom she joined him on the bed. Lifting his arm, Rey curled into his side and she stuck her fingers in her mouth. He tucked her under his blankets and watched the vid. 

“I love you.” She slurred, half asleep already. 

“Go to sleep.” He commanded her with a giggle. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments, i really appreciate it.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben sees something he wish he didn't.

Kylo Ren watched the episode to the end before shutting it off and comming Asajj Ren. She answered.

“Hey, Snoke told me that you'd be coming with me to Lothal to babysit.” He heard her laugh. 

“Yes, and then to Cloud City to make sure you don't do anything rash.”

“Snoke has so much faith in me.” The sarcasm dripping. 

“Have you informed Our Lady?” He sighed through his nose as he aimlessly paced the living room. 

“Yes, she took it better than I expected. She's taking a nap now, actually.”

“So she didn't freak out with the force and nearly kill someone? That's an impressive improvement.” 

“Yeah. She cried herself out instead.” 

“Poor thing. Who do you plan to have take care of her?” 

“I don’t know. The only available options are pisslord Hux and Phasma.”

“I heard he teaches her now so why not have them both watch her?” He plopped down onto the couch. 

“Hux from six to twelve, Phasma from twelve to six? That's like a twelve hour difference between the two of them.” He argued.

“How about Hux from six in the afternoon to twelve the next day and have Phasma take her from noon to six?” She offered.

“I think six in the evening to six in the morning with Phasma and then six to six with Hux?”

“I don’t know how the kid General will like it.”

“I don’t give a pfassk.” 

“Shall I inform him?” 

“Go ahead. I'll alert Phasmom.” He realized his mistake and he knew she caught it by the silence that fell. “It's a slip of the tongue, okay?” He defended, hanging up. Flustered from that he rang Phasma. 

“My Lord.” She addressed.

“Phasma.” Kylo pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Sir?”

“Tomorrow I am leaving for a trip to Lothal and I want you to watch Rey from six in the evening to six in the morning until I return in about a cycle.”

“May I ask who will watch her the rest of the time?”

“It's Hux.” 

“Oh.” He sighed in understanding.

“Listen, he’s not my first choice, alright? You are, but I know you're a busy person. Hux is already teaching her from seven to twelve as it is so it shouldn't be too much of a bother for him.” 

“I understand, sir.”

“Thank you, that is all.” He hung up. 

\----

Rey slept for a few hours to find Ben not in bed with her when she finally woke up. She froze. Had he left her? Had he gone to Lothal without waking her? Had he abandoned her? She felt tears building and her breathing became labored as she looked around the lonely room. Letting out a low cry she succumbed to her sorrow. 

Feeling her awaken through their connection, he began to head up to her. He had been reading. A sickening wave of grief hit him like a slap to the face when he breached the door. She was crying uncontrollably and she unknowingly let it out through the force as well. The air in the room stung his lungs, he rushed to console her but his ears began ringing, and a weird feeling in his head caused him to struggle with his balance. He realized she thought he had left. He forced his presence through the tidal waves emanating from her. This seemed to stop her force projecting but not her tears as she turned to face him. He had gotten onto the bed on his knees and waddled to hold her. She was already flying toward him and clutched onto his shirt and clung. His chest constricted at the sight of her distraught, teary face and he hugged her to him. 

“B--Ben, I thought you--you--” She sobbed against his chest but he hushed her. 

“Shh, shh. I know, I'm here. I'm here.” Kylo rubbed her head as it was beneath his chin as he held her. He rocked her back and forth in a gentle rhythm even after she ceased crying. He had started humming sometime during it. While she had been crying he sent feelings of assurance to her. 

“You'll tell me when you go, right? You won't leave without saying goodbye.” She murmured roughly as she fingered the milky stone on his necklace, her throat being sore from crying. 

“I'll make sure to, you have to wish me a safe trip.” He reassured, rubbing her back. 

“Hmm.” She sighed and closed her eyes to focus on his heartbeat. It was strong and steady, matching her own. “Mmm, Ben, can you sleep with me this time?”  _ No walking off and freaking me out. _ He looked at the chrono on his shelf. It was about time for dinner but he didn't care because he wasn't hungry in the slightest. He wasn't really tired either but he decided he should try to sleep for her. It was the least he could do to make it up to her. He kissed her forehead and let her get comfortable in bed. His pants he could sleep in. The shirt, not so much. He removed it and fetched a sleep shirt. 

She fell back asleep quickly, an arm around his bicep. He on the other hand slept lightly and woke up every so often to watch her sleep. She looked peaceful, with a small smile. Curious as to what she was dreaming, he dared to delve into it. 

Rey looked older but her three buns remained. She donned light colored clothes. She was in a patch of foliage of plants from Yavin-4 and was spinning around in the center gleefully. The grasses crunched under his feet as he took a step closer. Hearing it, she froze to look who it was. Immediately, her eyes lit up and she jogged to him. He found himself smiling until she grabbed his face down and kissed him. It was a lovers kiss. He was unsettled by it but was even more disturbed by how the dream him reciprocated and lifted her up in his arms. The shock sent him barreling out of her dream, he laid wide eyed and confused. 

_ It was just a dream. It was only a dream. Why was she dreaming that? Why did she kiss me like that? Why did  _ I _ go along with it? It looked so real. It was like a memory. Was it a force vision? No, that's impossible. I would never do that. Never. It was just a dream. It was only a-- _

  
“Ben? What's wrong? Go back to sleep, stop thinking so much about it.” She mumbled, shifting closer to him. “It's just a vision.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, im sorry for these next few chapters. Just bear with me.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo regrets his decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what I was doing writing this. I just kinda went with it.

He didn't sleep after that. Kylo could only stare at the ceiling and every so often sneak a peek at her sleeping face. He dared to dip into her dream once more despite knowing not to. 

She was on a ship he could only guess was Hux’s completed  _ Finalizer _ and was pestering an older looking Hux. They were talking in his quarters and he was pouring himself a full glass of red wine. Hux was downing it nearly as fast as he filled it. Before long he ushered her out with a quick hug. Kylo frowned, finding he didn’t very much appreciate Hux being so touchy with Older Rey. 

The dreamscape shifted to her laying in bed, staring at an older looking Kylo who was brushing his teeth, both in states of undress in the upstairs department. He could feel the adoration flowing through her as she continued to watch. At least, Kylo admitted, his older self filled out well. Though, he was thoroughly perplexed as to how his future self acquired so many scars. He realized a little too late what his older self had in mind as he watched his older self climb into bed with Older Rey and loomed over her. He immediately fled from the dream upon realization. He wasn’t fast enough on his exit to not hear anything though. Thoroughly uncomfortable in his own skin he grimaced at what he heard: panting Rey and Ben moaning each others names. In denial he freed himself from sleeping Rey’s grasp and ran his hands over his face while groaning no. 

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No.  _ No. _ ” He whined as if to dispel the dream. It was all he could say about it. He didn't allow himself to think anything else of it. Sinking to the floor beside the bed he held his head in his hands like a man who had just lost a fortune would. “Noooo... no, no, no... why?” He gritted in frustration. 

_ Has she always dreamt like that? When she says she loves me she doesn't mean it on a platonic or familial sense?  _ He gasped at the implications _. Oh force.  _ He hit his head with his hands.  _ She must have been thinking this whole time that I meant I loved her romantically.  _ He shuddered.  _ Fracking hell, she's four. How in kriffing Malachor did she get enough of an impression to fantasize about it in her dreams?  _ He stopped hitting himself and held his breath.  _ What if that is what's going to happen in the future? What if she's dreaming like that because of our forever bond? Shor’s bones. That's impossible. It's impossible. Never going to happen.  _ He began shaking his head.  _ She's just a youngling. How could she be able to see such clear farsight visions without even being aware? Maybe it's because she's unaware. When she gets too agitated her connection to the force amplifies significantly. It isn’t entirely impossible that that's the case.  _ Cautiously he turned his attention back to her. She was sleeping still.  _ She's never mentioned it. Maybe she doesn't remember dreaming it. That'd be best.  _ He was right, she never remembered the dreams pertaining to the force vision. She stirred and flipped over. He steeled himself to dive in once more.

He was surprised to see his mother. Rey was dreaming of the recent past. She looked the same. Leia was watching a message left by Luke. Kylo watched her as his uncle told her the news. She rose a hand to her mouth with a gasp and sobbed. 

‘It's all my fault.’ She cried, falling to the floor. He expected himself to jeer in triumph but he only solemnly watched as she fell apart, feeling extremely disconcerted. ‘Oh, Luke.’ The message got to the part where Luke revealed his plans to exile but he never gave a hint as to where. ‘It's all my fault. Oh Ben, my baby, it's all my fault.’ She sobbed harder, shaking her head. ‘My baby boy...’ He saw Han Solo drop and hug her but soon gave in to his feelings of flight and left her still sobbing in front of the looping message. ‘Oh my baby, where are you?’

“Ben? Are you there?” Rey chirped, the dream fading. He swallowed and found his voice. 

“Yes, Rey. I'm here.” His voice sounded hoarse. 

“I dreamed of a lady. She was pretty but very sad. I've never seen her before. Who was she, she had her hair up in a weird braid.” He rose and sat beside her on the bed, debating whether to reveal his relation.

“Leia Organa, she's a General of the parasitic Resistance disguised under the New Republic. She's an enemy of the First Order and by extension an enemy of me. She's going to want to take you from me.” An anger filled Rey's eyes. 

“She can't do that. I won't let her.” He sighed and patted her shoulder. 

“I hope she's never aware of your existence. I hope she never sees you. I hope you never draw her attention.” 

“Same. I don't like to be apart from you. What about the man?” He let a sharp breath out through his nose.

“What about him?”

“Who's he? He hugged her, is he another General?”

“No, he's scum. He's an aging hotshot smuggler who's getting too old for the shit he pulls. He's Han-- Han Solo.” Before she could ask he continued. “No relation.” 

“The lady, Leia, she knows Mas-- Luke.”

“Yes. They're twins.” 

“Why was she crying? I couldn't make out what Luke was saying.” 

“Her son was at the Academy. He died after we left. From illness I guess.” She bought the lie but he could feel her doubt. “Don't feel bad for her. She's caused the explosions of two Deathstars, each with millions of people. It's only fair that she loses her only son.” She snuggled into him, and hugged his middle. He hugged her back but it wasn’t the same as before and she could tell. 

“What's wrong?” She pouted but he shook his head. 

  
“Just a little hungry is all.” She nodded in agreement, feeling a bit peckish as well. “Let's go get something to eat.” 


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is pouty, Hux is snide, Asajj jokes, and Kylo releases some emotions.

Rey ate the same as usual. She laughed and spoke the same as usual. Kylo began thinking that it was all in his head. Perhaps it was. 

“What time is it?” She inquired after he put their dishes away. 

“About eleven. We slept for a while. You have to get up at six for your lesson.”

“And when are you leaving?”

“After I drop you off at Hux’s, Asajj Ren and I will be leaving early.” He observed her reaction to see if it had changed. She was still downtrodden about the idea and had frowned but she accepted it with a sigh. It was odd. “Are you still afraid I won't come back?” She smiled distantly and slowly shook her head no.

“No. You'll come back to me. I've seen it in a dream.” 

“Right.” He replied after a moment of pause, having had trouble finding his words. “Do you want to see the flight sim?” She shook her head no.

“I'll have plenty of time with it while you’re away. Before you know it, I'll be able to fly anything expertly. What I really want to know is why you're acting funny.” He snorted.

“ _ I  _ am acting funny?” He shook his head at the irony. “Do you remember what you dreamed about?” She knitted her eyebrows together at the question.

“I already told you--”

“No, before that. Do you remember what you were dreaming before that?” She looked down at her hands as she tried her hardest to remember anything else but came up empty. Rey shook her head no. “That’s fine. I was simply curious.” 

“I do remember a feeling. I don't remember the dream but I remember feeling relieved and your face.” Content, he patted her head affectionately. She leaned into his hand and he removed it. She looked at him questioningly but he didn’t look at her. The rest of the night passed uneventfully. 

He was tired, having not slept very well and then being unable to sleep. Rey was asleep again, this time in her bed. Kylo rubbed his eyes then looked at the clock. It was 5:46am. Dressed to go since two, he simply waited for Rey to wake up. He'd downed a few cafs, causing him to feel jittery. Kylo decided to get breakfast ready for them both before he went to wake her up. He prepared something simple, nothing too fancy. Glancing to the chrono again, it was time. Skipping steps to get to her room he woke her with a gentle prodding of his hand. Her response was to slap it away. He frowned and continued his ministrations. This time she opened her eyes and blinked up at him without speaking. 

“It's time to get up. Breakfast is ready downstairs. Get dressed.” He gave her a reassuring shoulder squeeze before making his way to the door again. 

“You’re leaving today.” She yawned.

“I'll be right back in a cycle.” He chuckled.

“I know, but you're still leaving.” Rey murmured as she scooted out of bed. He left her then to change, shutting the door behind him. He waited for her to come down to eat before digging in. 

“You're leaving today.” 

“Yes, you already said that, Rey.” He chewed. 

“You're leaving today, you always leave.” He stopped chewing for a moment to look for an answer in her face. He found none. “Ben?” 

“Hmm? Oh. Right. Sorry, I was zoning out.” They continued their meal. He swiped a few fruits from her plate, she didn’t care. Usually she'd smack his hand away but today she didn't. It was all very weird. There was a ringing at his hip, someone was calling his comm. He swallowed before answering.

“Kylo, I apologize for the short notice but Supreme Leader Snoke has requested a briefing in ten minutes time.” Asajj Ren relayed. Kylo frowned but didn't refute it. He hung up with a sigh before finishing up his breakfast. 

“Who was that?” Rey wondered aloud.  

“Asajj Ren, I have a mission briefing to attend in ten minutes. Hurry up and finish eating so I can drop you off at Hux’s.” Her lips tightened into a straight line and her eyes shot him a glare but she finished eating and pushed him aside as they walked through the hall. She was wanting nothing to do with him. “Rey, Sweetheart, you know I--”

“Lalalalala, I can’t hear you.” His brow twitched beneath his helmet. He'd put it on upon leaving. “Traitor.” She grumbled under her breath, thinking he couldn't hear. He did. Rey stood as far away as possible in the lift from him. Her childish behavior made him roll his eyes. 

“Hux.” 

“Ren. Rey.” The General gestured for her to enter. He smiled gratefully at Kylo for bringing her before the promised time. It was something Hux appreciated. 

“Rey, she might be a little upset today. I am leaving soon. We... had a bit of a disagreement.” Kylo warned after she disappeared into his room. Hux rolled his eyes with a sigh.

“Your first lovers quarrel. How quaint.” Kylo scowled beneath his mask. “Run along now, don't let me keep you.” Hux waved Kylo away but he was already walking down the hall. 

\-----

“Supreme Leader, you wished to speak with me.” Kylo bowed his head. 

“Yes. Out of the kindness of my heart I took it upon myself to research more into your eye fixation.” Having had no effect on Kylo, Snoke continued. “On the planet Coruscant, in the Jedi temples forbidden branch of their archives, I've been told it hosts a wealth of Sith holocrons. I want you to retrieve them while you are away.”

“Supreme Leader--”

“Wretch, let me finish. Instead of going to Lothal you will be getting a synthetic kyber crystal. You, of course, can choose which one amongst them you will use. Have Asajj Ren collect them.” Then to Asajj. “Child, make sure to bring as many as you can from the synthesizer on Coruscant.” 

“What about the informant?”

“Bespin. Cloud City. You aren't to rendezvous with the informant. You're to confront Calrissian. The relations Ben Solo formed died along with him. To Kylo Ren they mean nothing. Do I make myself clear?” Snoke gave no room to argue. “Use whatever means you feel necessary to extract the information. Now begone the both of you.” 

Kylo stomped down the hall as he usually did with Asajj trailing softly not far behind. He could feel her eyes boring holes in the back of his head. “Do you need something? I don’t like being stared at so intensely so early in the morning.” He yawned at the end.

“No, I was just wondering which we should head to first: Bespin or Coruscant.” 

“Coruscant in case Lando alerts the officials there that we are coming.” His yawns came out sounding strange through his voice modulator. She looked at him funny.

“Why do you keep doing that? It sounds like a Wookiee impersonation.” He frowned.

“Is it a crime to yawn if you haven't slept much?”

“Oh, trouble in paradise?” She teased innocently but since Hux had also made a joke, he wanted to make one thing clear: not to joke about it. Before he could even open his mouth though, he was interrupted.  

“Well, I'll be, if it ain't Big Boss and Co., yer shuttle’s all ready.” Kylo gruffly nodded, just then taking note of the name tag on his vest,  _ Red. _

“Thank you... Red.” The techs eyes lit up upon hearing it. “We’ll be on our way now.” Kylo trudged up the ramp into his ship, Asajj doing the same. He swiveled on his heel once the ramp shut behind her and pointed an irate finger at her.

“Let’s make one thing clear: you are not to comment about Rey and I like that.” She held up her hands in defense as he took a menacing step toward her. She slowly inched her way to the cockpit, hoping to avoid a full on confrontation before leaving the planet.

“Relax, I didn’t mean anything saying it." A pause. "Are you alright?” He was angered further by how she seemed to mimic his mother when he was upset, trying to deescalate the situation and managing to care about how he was. He was breathing heavily now, not wanting to hurt her or anything, he let out an anguished yell and lumbered his way to the cabin to simmer alone. 

Gladfully, Asajj didn’t follow him. His hands shook tensely in front of himself and to his sides as they swung. He paced, eventually throwing off his helmet with a clang. He was just so  _ frustrated _ about the whole debacle and that he wasn’t aware he was when he was with Rey. Hux and Asajj only exacerbated it with their jokes. The fact they weren’t aware of the dreams and still made those comments bothered him more. Not capable of holding back anymore he punched the wall a few times until his knuckles were sore. He was surprised that the pain calmed him down. It distracted him enough to let his mental guards down. 

_ Ben? Are you alright? _ He felt Rey murmur in his mind. Stupidly, he covered his ears as if it would block her out.  _ Ben? _

“No, no, no, no, no, not  _ now _ .” He whined to himself before replying.  _ Yes, Rey. I’m fine. _

_ Are you sure? You’re really upset about something, I can feel it. _

_ I’m fine. _

_ Ben-- _

_ I said I’m fine!  _ He gave her the mental equivalent of a yell but immediately regretted it upon feeling her hurt through their bond.  _ Rey-- _ She quickly recovered and spat at him.

_ Shut up, you big-- you big butt! _ She blocked him, leaving his end of the bond deathly silent. Frustrated by his lack of tact, self control, and dropping his guard, he yelled again, punching the wall a few more times for good measure. 

“My Lord, I’m afraid I need some help piloting the ship. I apologize for my ineptitude.” He looked at the comm on the door, collecting his bearings as best he could before leaving to assist her. 


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo divulges closely guarded secrets in his drained state.

Asajj was wary as she heard his approach and didn’t dare speak first as he sat in the empty pilot's seat with a huff. She was worried about his mental state and if he was capable of accomplishing the missions. She noticed that force users who were around Snoke too often went a bit mad in both senses of the word. She flinched when he finally spoke.

“Let’s get going, shall we?” Take off and exiting Morabands atmosphere was a little rocky but they did it without breaking anything. Kylo typed in the coordinates and set it into hyperspeed as Asajj turned on the autopilot. They had a few hours to burn until they got to Coruscant. She couldn’t help but peer over to him curiously. He caught her when she did. “Have you ever heard of force dreams?” It took her off guard, the question coming out of seemingly nowhere. She racked her mind.

“Yes, some force users dream of other times and places. Places they’ve never been to in person and times they couldn’t have been in. Why do you ask?” He pursed his lips and crossed his arms across his chest, debating whether or not to tell her. 

“Rey’s been having them.” 

“Oh.” And then after a pause. “Do you mind telling me what they were about?” He grimaced a bit as he remembered. 

“She... Last night, she dreamed of the future.” Asajj nodded to show she was listening. “She was older, I could tell. She... she kissed me in the dream?” His voice rose as if it were a question, he was still in disbelief.

“So? You guys do that all the time?” He sighed and shook his head uncomfortably. 

“It wasn’t-- it was different.” She caught on, perceptive as she was, and uttered another oh.

“Well, they’re always subject to change, Kylo. A vision is just a vision.” He shook his head obstinately. 

“She also dreamed that we... were together-- romantically.” Kylo gestured with his hand at nothing in particular. “She doesn't remember the dreams. I don't know how long she's been having them but last night I was curious and dipped in.” He held his head in his hands and groaned. “I wish I didn't know about it. I'm losing my mind. I don't know how to deal with this. Hux’s off hand comments don't help and your joke sure isn't helping me. I don't want to tell her about them. I don't want you to tell anyone, not even Snoke, about this.” She nodded. “I'm so... so frustrated, I feel like I'm going to explode.” He looked at her, dropping his hands to cross his chest again.

“She's only four, she doesn't understand. I wouldn't think too much about it.” He whined, not wanting to hear it. 

“No, you don't understand. After she woke up she kept talking as if she remembered them at least a little. It was creepy.” He furrowed his brow, smirking ruefully. “I think she's jealous of you. I think she has it in her mind that we're romantically involved. She got upset that you were coming and she wasn't.” Asajj snorted at the absurdity, Kylo himself smiled a little. 

“You're more like a younger brother than a would be lover.”

“Really? I had you pinned as a mothering figure.” She guffawed in slight offense.

“I’m not that old.” He sniffed in response. They watched the streams of light pass in front of them. “Rey’s just young. Don’t let it get to you. Just keep doing what you’ve been doing and you’ll be fine I think.”

“You think? How reassuring.” 

“Well, I’m always at the ready with good advice.” She playfully rolled her eyes, Kylo was lost in thought. 

“When she says she loves me do you think she means it romantically or platonically?” The fact he was serious was hilarious and she couldn’t hold back a laugh. He pouted. “What’s so funny?”

“Do you think she has a crush on you? Congratulations!” She clapped jokingly. He managed to pout harder than he already was.

“It’s not funny, I’m not joking. Do you think she does or not?” His ears were a little pink but his hair covered the colored areas. Kylo was embarrassed to even be having the conversation. After she managed to stop laughing, she seemed to properly contemplate the question.

“From what I’ve seen, the way she looks at you isn’t how a child should be looking at someone. Phasma told me upon passing that she never stops talking about you and that she’s always looking around as if she’s trying to find you. It’s strange.” She frowned and seemed concerned about it as she fiddled with her cape. 

“I think it’s harmless. So what if she talks about me all the time, I do the same thing.” Asajj shook her head and sighed. 

“No, the way she looks at you is different from how you look at her. It’s hard to explain but it’s like she knows something that we don’t. Maybe it has to do with her dreams, I don’t know, but I can tell you that her eyes don’t look like a four year olds. Perhaps you think all children talk like she does, but they don’t. She’s advanced. Hux has her learning numbers and she’s learning quickly. Typically younglings don’t learn that until six or seven, she’s four. You don’t find that a bit odd?” He hadn’t realized. He’d been too focused on Rey to notice the other younglings at the Academy and their habits. 

“Are you trying to say something? I of all people would know her best.” He felt a little insulted.

“Perhaps, but maybe you’ve been too close to see the big picture.” 

“Just to be clear, this is to remain between just us.” 

“I’m not an idiot. You don’t have to say that everytime we have a one on one talk.” A comfortable silence took hold before Kylo finally spoke again. 

“What I’m about to tell you is to be hidden far away in your mind from Snoke. If he finds out, it will have dire consequences. Everything I’ve said so far is nothing compared to what I’m about to tell you about her and I.” She gave him the side eye but motioned for him to continue. “We’re force bonded.” Her immediate reaction was to snort but she knew he was being serious and deserved to be taken seriously.

“Like-- Like in the legends?” He shrugged. “Bastila Shan and Darth Revan?”

“I guess. We’re not padawan and master. We certainly aren’t bonded the same way Revan and Bastila Shan once were. There’s really no explanation to it. Luke said it could be dangerous if the knowledge of it fell into the wrong hands, dangerous as in life or death for the both of us.”

“Force... he was right that it’s dangerous. What if one of you died?”

“What I’m afraid of is what will happen to Rey when I eventually get slain.” She tried to protest but he held a hand up to hush her as he lounged in the chair with his hands folded in his lap. “This war-path I’ve chosen will kill me eventually but I chose it for her. It’s contradictory but it makes sense. I'm afraid what will happen to her once I'm gone and yet I chose probably the most self destructive path. It’s the path that made more sense than the weak Jedi drivel at Luke’s Academy.” He chuckled coldly. “What a crock of shit that was. I could say I chose this path only for her until the day I die, but in truth, I chose it for myself, if that makes any sense at all. If she dies, what will become of me? Will I die or will I be left feeling as if half of myself has been lost? I don’t know and that scares me. It scared me so I whisked her away with me. To save myself from becoming even more hollow and broken than I am. To save myself from being alone, I will serve as her shield. Her self-sacrificing, selfish knight. 

“With her I feel alive. I have no other way to describe the feelings she gives me. I have to be her light but I have to be her darkness too. How tragic that I have to be the dark to her light when we're bonded. She's my star, I revolve around her. She grounds me and makes me whole when I feel broken. 

“I don't know how I made it before she came to the Academy. She was an infant and I thought nothing of her but there was something about her. I couldn't put a finger on it until she grew a little older, old enough to talk. It was then that Luke caught on about it, the bond. We'd only just been able to figure out telecommunications and he jumped right on us, telling us to stop. But we couldn't just stop, it was a force bond. It's easier than breathing. Force bonds can only be broken in death. He had to have known that with his communing with the dead.” He rubbed his eye. “Listen to me, telling you my deepest darkest secrets because I’m exhausted. I should go get some sleep before we arrive.” He awkwardly rose to go.

“Hey, Kylo.” He turned to face her.

“What?”

“Thank you for sharing with me.” She watched him gulp and clench his jaw before tilting his head in a nod. Asajj herself wasn’t tired in the slightest. She knew it took a lot to open up to her about those things. The boy had too many burdens. She tucked her knees under her chin and spaced out, watching the stars zip by. To help her Master, she decided she would do everything in her power to ease his struggles, even if it killed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooooooooooooo possible foreshadowing woahhhhhh.
> 
> If I were to, say, write another fic after or during this current fic, would you read it? It wouldn't be the same dynamic, I'd be trying something new. I think it'll be a medium burn fic with lots of fluff eventually because who doesn't love heaps of fluff between angst. Anywhooooo, tell me your thoughts in the comments. All comments are welcome. You guys are the best!


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The creation of his saber.

The trip to Coruscant was quick and unassuming. Kylo swiped the crons with ease, if using the force to cloak himself and using more than a few mind tricks on witnesses could be called that. Asajj was completing her own mission: to retrieve a bountiful amount of synth crystals for Kylo to choose from. She banged the bag of them against the floor as she mounted the ship, it was heavy. She dropped the bag into the cargo bay of the black Upsilon shuttle, jumping when a spark appeared as it landed. Asajj stood stock still as a light came from the bottom of the bag before fading away entirely. She didn’t have any idea what happened, nor did she find it important to mention upon his return. He carried the holocrons in a sack slung over his arm, quite like a thief would. Bringing to his quarters, he then left Coruscant with Asajj and their loot. Ordering for her to pilot to the hyperspace route toward Bespin, he went to the cargo area and fetched the bag of crystals, it was about knee high and as wide as his chest. Peeking inside, he was shocked at the quantity and instinctively touched his necklace. It was becoming a habit to do that. The bag was heavy so he couldn't help but be impressed that she carried it in by herself.

“How long til we're there?” He hollered through the ship to hopefully reach her. 

“Two and a half days is the estimate.”  _ That should be enough time to make a saber _ . Excitement was his main emotion as he sat beside the bag, having heaved it to his cabin. Before he began he figured it would be good to tell her what he'll be doing. 

“Hey, I'm going to be making my lightsaber. It'll be a day or two, or so I've heard. I'll be in my room meditating, don't enter or disturb me.” She beamed, matching his excitement.

“Can’t wait to see what you'll make. May the force be with you, Kylo.” 

He dipped into the common room for rations and bottled water for when he finished. Rey was far from the forefront of his mind for once. He pulled the bag onto the bed, causing it to sag a little. Kylo crossed his legs after willing saber parts out of the holocron bag. He'd managed to swipe them as well. 

It felt like an age had passed because he couldn’t concentrate. He'd never been one for extended meditation or meditation without purpose. Growling, he focused on his mounting frustration and gradually refined it. He visualized raw, red, glowing metal being pounded until it was uniform in density. As it cooled, pieces were chipped off before the process repeat. Glowing red, dimming orange, cool quicksilver, repeat. After a few cycles he noticed it was the blade of a sword being smithed and the vision changed. 

The weapon was done, the edges of the blade haphazardly serrated with a hilt that was sharpened to a point on each side. Someone was brandishing it horrendously, he found it enraged him. Then the person turned and pointed the blade at him. Instinctively Kylo drew a saber from his side and raised it just in time to deflect. His opponents face was obscured, making it out to be blurry and unrecognizable and the red. The red? Kylo Ren, the Master of the Knights of Ren, First Knight, was breathless. In his hands was a lightsaber, the blade red and unstable, it had blades where the hilt was on the others sword. It was glorious. It was his. Turning his attention back to his opponent he swung down. The saber had a bit of resistance to it as it sliced through the air. But it was his and he struck blow after blow with a crazed grin. Kicking his adversary in the chest, knocking them down, he flung the serrated sword out of reach using the force. He pointed the tip of his red saber close to their neck and was about to behead them when their face became clear. 

Conflicted, Kylo gasped in horror and withdrew to a safe distance. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. 

“Aw, come back, Ben. Come back.” They mocked. Kylo’s heart pinched. “Afraid?” 

“No.” He whispered, as the person picked up their sword, he turned his off. 

“You're always afraid. You're afraid you're not good enough, afraid of being too weak to protect what you love. You'll always be afraid, Ben Solo. You'll always be weak!” 

“No!” He clutched his head. “Stop. Stop this.” He activated his saber and attacked. “This isn't real! You're not real!” He screamed as he sliced cleanly through an arm. It hurt him as if he had his chopped off, it felt pretty real then. “This isn’t..” Clutching his shoulder he watched as his opponent laughed maniacally. 

“You truly are afraid. You're afraid, always alone. Little Ben Solo, you've been tossed aside. She’ll leave you too, if you let her. Keep her to yourself or she'll abandon you. Make her love you and she'll stay forever.” He took a step forward, raising his blade above his head. Kylo hesitated. “She'll leave you! Do you hear me!?” 

“Who’ll leave? You or her?” He had to ask, despite knowing the answer.

“Both.”   
“I don't believe you!” They cackled, he swung smoothly down, the body crumpling and the head toppling forward to land at his toes. He closed his eyes when he swung, regret building inside him before his red saber connected with soft flesh. “I don’t-- oh god...” He looked down at the face staring blankly up at him and fell backward in an attempt to flee after sobering up. His saber crackled dangerously, strings of red plasma lashing out before sputtering out, one or two grazing his arm. The last thing he sees in his vision were blank, lifeless hazel eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sick as a dog, fever and all. I have chapters already written for situations such as this. I hope this chapter isn't too shitty but it has to be done. Love you guys.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo confronts Lando.

_ Rey _ . Immediately upon coming back to reality, he wasn’t feeling hunger or thirst, but concern and fear. Fear for Rey. As he lept from the bed gripping his saber tightly, but not looking down to the blasted thing, he found Asajj pacing just outside the door. He nearly toppled over her. 

“Kriff-- what the hell were you doing?” Kylo spat. It didn't have an effect.

“Lady Rey.” He felt the breath leave his lungs empty, fearing the worst. “Phasma is comming. Lady Rey is insistent in her conviction to talk to you. I know you said not to disturb you while you were crafting your saber but I figured you'd like to talk to her.” Feeling the breath refill his lungs he nodded. “She's on the holoscreen in the communal area. I'll leave the two of you to talk. You look like you need it.” Before he passed her she caught his arm. “You should freshen up before you see her. You look like a disaster on legs.” 

Kylo took her advice without thought and without feeling judged. Upon washing his face in the fresher sink he looked up at the reflection before him. His eyes were even worse. “God fracking damn it!” He snarled at his reflection before willing himself to calm down, closing his eyes and thinking happy thoughts. The cool, smooth rock at his neck served its purpose once again. He sighed at seeing his eyes return to their usual brown. He fixed his sloppy mop before going to talk, slapping his cheeks a bit to give them color.

Phasma was on the screen, appearing to be without her signature suit and short hair ruffled. Somewhere off screen, he could hear Rey ask if he was there yet. He allowed himself to smile.

“Phasma, to what do I owe the pleasure?” He leaned his rear onto the edge of the table in front of the holoscreen. 

“Lemme, lemme--” 

“Sir. It is currently 0100 hours on Moraband. Rey was sleeping in her room in your quarters, I on the couch. She--” Phasma closed her eyes and let Rey babble before getting the youngling on screen.

“I can tell him myself! Let me see him.” Rey ordered her. 

“Yes. My Lady.” Kylo huffed in amusement. 

“Kylo!” She said a little too loudly into the comm before Phasma adjusted it. “Are you okay? I felt you, something happened. Are you safe?” The genuine concern caused his smile to falter.  _ Sithspit, did I project while I was meditating? _

“Yes, My Star. I am fine, had a bad dream is all. Don't worry about it.” She didn't believe him and she made it known.

“Don't lie to me” She croaked between clenched jaws. He sighed.

“You're right, Rey. I'm sorry. I was having a hard time constructing my saber but I made it. It's really different from the ones in the holos that I showed you. Do you want to see it?” Though she was excited, she told him she could wait until he comes back. After the brief touch of base, the call ended, casting Kylo back into reality. 

“Perfect timing for completing your saber, we have fifteen minutes to prepare.” She crossed her arms and cocked her hip. He felt himself vulnerable under her eyes as she looked him up and down. It surprised him when she sighed and threw rations at him. “Eat, fool. It's been two days since your last meal, how are you not ravenous?” He could only procure a shrug. “Whatever, you should wash. You have fourteen minutes.” 

Kylo only washed the necessary bits, his hair, his pits, his nethers. He dressed as quickly as he could, his stomach doing flips in sudden apprehension. His hair was still dripping when he popped his helmet on, attaching saber to his side. “I feel like I'm going to be sick.” He whispered to Asajj who was fully adorned, her weapon hidden amongst the folds of her clothes. She tutted.

“You slay those meant to serve you without regret and yet your stomach churns at this?” His hand itched to grasp his saber for security but he knew better. True to his Skywalker heritage, he'd decided to unveil his weapon before Lando to leave an impression.  _ Grandfather would be proud. _ Kylo smirked beneath his emotionless helmet. “How are we going to do this? He's a high ranking official.” He mulled it over as they landed smoothly. 

_ Asajj should go and stir up a fuss in the opposite direction of Lando and create a distraction while I deal with Calrissian.  _

“You will go the western part of the compound and cause a ruckus about the Knights. I'll cloak myself and surprise the bastard. Keep your comm on you and I will as well. Try not to get yourself caught. I don’t want to be here any longer than necessary.” She knew why. It was Rey. She'd felt his compulsion to turn the ship around and high tail it back to Moraband after he'd emerged from his quarters. Asajj could count on him for one thing and that was saving time. The sooner they got what they needed the quicker they could leave the damned place behind. Asajj could raise a glass to that. 

“Aye, aye, sir.” She tapped his shoulder before sneaking out. “May the force be with you.” He nodded, swallowing as if it would calm his nerves. Lando was someone his parents were good friends with and had met on more than one occasion. Kylo shook the memories from his thoughts with a violent jerk. He exited the shuttle and sauntered over to where he recalled Landos private quarters to be. He got a few cautious side glances but trekked past, determined to return to Rey as soon as possible. It had apparently taken two days to get here and it'll take two to get back, plus a few hours. He always kept his promises to Rey because he couldn't with anyone else. She was special. 

Lando was precisely where he imagined he’d be, sitting in wait. The landing of a black Upsilon shuttle gets around quickly. Lando was sitting comfortably at a table with his his hands on a holopad reading. The man only sighed once he heard his door open and set his holo aside. Kylo walked until he stood in front of him and waited. 

“So, you’re here. Under that mask is Ben, right? Take a seat, son.” He took a seat stubbornly.

“There’s no one named Ben here, it’s Kylo Ren now.” Kylo cocked his head to the side. “I’ve been told that you know of Skywalker’s location.” Lando finally raised his head and looked him in the helmet, jaw clenching. “If you resist, I’ll be forced to pull it from your mind. I’ve been told it’s quite painful.” It was a bluff but Lando bought it. Kylo was planning on learning it in the future. Kylo placed his saber on the table in front of him in to be intimidating. Lando took in a deep breath at the sight and flashed Kylo a hurt glare. 

“I can’t believe you. Your father--”

“Shut up!” Kylo yelled, causing Lando to jump. “I’m  _ not _ here to listen to you tell me about Han Solo the smuggling scum. I’m here to find out Skywalker’s location and  _ that is all _ . Don’t make me do something  _ regrettable _ .” His words took on an even more ominous vibe because of the modulator. “Speak quickly, I’m running out of patience.”

“Luke, your  _ uncle _ , is in exile.”

“I know that.”

“Self-imposed exile.”

“I said I know.” 

“Obviously you’ve lost a few brain cells then.” Lando spat. Kylo shot to his feet, willing his saber to his hand and lit it. He was close to ending the man but something made him hesitate. Instead, he pointed it in his face. 

“I would watch your tone, old man.” Lando was sweating. 

“I wasn’t told.” He managed to say. 

“Bantha fodder!” Kylo slashed the chair he was just sitting in, leaving it in ruin. 

“I said I wasn’t told! Yes, he sent out a message to everyone but it didn’t say where he was heading or for how long. It’s probably somewhere on the outer rim. I shouldn’t be telling you this.” Lando held his head in his hands before handing the holopad to Kylo who snatched it roughly. On it, he watched Luke’s message.

\-----

“Greetings, everyone. I am afraid I must inform you of a dire mistake of mine. Leia, Han... let me begin by telling you that I have failed you. I have failed you both in the worst of ways. Yesterday, I had gone on a routine supply trip off planet, leaving my Academy of students. When I returned, I returned to an Academy of death.” Luke chokes up before continuing. “Every single one of the children sent to me was slain, viciously. At first, I was terrified when I noticed they had all been trying to run away from something before death. I now know that that something was my nephew.” Luke rubbed his eyes. “My nephew, Ben Solo, was among the six unknown assailants who attacked the Academy. As you all know, he was my first, brightest padawan. He had so much potential. Ben had so much light. He had just as much darkness.” Luke shook his head. “He’s fallen. It’s my fault. I know it is my fault and you shall all cast blame upon me, I will accept it all. The new Jedi Academy is destroyed and I’m not making another. I’m going into self-imposed exile. Don’t try to find me, I don’t want to be found. The title of Last Jedi Master is too much a lie now.” Luke let a moment pass silently. “The boy who was Ben Solo is no longer here with us. He is not dead. He is out there, somewhere. He is not the Ben we know. Leia, Han, I am sorry. May the force be with you all.” The message ended. 

\-----

“This is garbage!” Kylo threw it at the wall in a rage. “It told me nothing I didn’t already know.” He huffed before directing his attention back to Lando who was watching solemnly. “You--”

“I’ve told you all I know.” Lando held his hands up in a gesture of not being a threat. 

“Well you will tell me something so this visit wasn’t a giant waste of time.” Kylo pointed the tip of his saber once more in Lando's face, willing the holopad back to his hand. 

“He’s most likely somewhere in the outer rim. He grew up on Tatooine, maybe he’s there or somewhere like it. He’s probably not on a planet that’s inhabited by sentient beings if he truly meant his exile. Maybe he’s on Dagobah.” Kylo knew Luke was once trained there and knew it was a swampy place. Beneath his mask he scowled. Before he could ask for more his commlink called his attention. It was his second in command telling him that she was being pursued and was hoping he was wrapping up. He told her he was and to kill her pursuers and to meet him at the ship. Kylo deactivated his saber and attached it at his hip once more. 

“I’m letting you live, not because of our past attachment, but because you’ll prove useful in the future. I’ll be keeping this.” Kylo gestured to the holo. “When you call Leia, which I know you’ll do right after I leave, do tell her that I will destroy her. Oh, and make sure to tell her  _ all _ about my cool new saber. I’m sure she’ll love it.” With that, Kylo opened the door to leave but a squad of soldiers were pointing their blasters at him. He didn’t move as Lando hollered behind him from his place at the now destroyed table. 

“You can’t forget where you come from. Leia will hunt you down.” Kylo turned his head and replied as if they were good friends.

“You’re so right.” The squad couldn’t shoot faster than he could draw his lightsaber once more. Their heads were rolling on the ground before they could even realize that death was approaching. Stepping between the dead bodies he made to turn down the hallway but was once more met with soldiers. He sighed, they were no contest so it bored him that he had to carve a path through their remains as he ended their lives. It thrilled him to watch them scream. 

Asajj was onboard prepping the shuttle for take off when he entered. She was drenched with the blood of her enemies whereas he was not. His saber cauterized their wounds before blood would spurt. 

“Get it up!” He yelled to her as he shut the ramp, seeing more soldiers coming and firing at them. Kylo joined her, pressing the necessary buttons and flipping the necessary switches, and they soon took off. He'd tucked Landos holo into his clothes before getting on board. The shuttle jolted as it left atmo. They released a collective breath at the sudden peace. It was Asajj who broke the silence. 

“Did you get what we wanted?” He sighed after removing his mask, running a hand through his nearly dry hair. It didn't take too long and he was at least happy about that. 

“Yes, better even, but also nothing. Calrissian didn't know the location, but I swiped a holo with Luke's farewell vid that he seemingly sent out to everyone at once. I plan on delivering it to Snoke and to pick the message apart myself if he doesn't want it.”

“How will you hide it from Rey?”  _ I have no idea.  _ He crossed his arms after setting them into hyperspace and rose to head to his cabin. “I have no idea.” Kylo said lowly before he got far.

The bag of crystals was still spread open on his bed so he lifted it onto the floor and fetched the bag of holocrons. Snoke had said he'd found a cron to fix his eyes. Kylo rummaged through them until he found the one he needed. Once he found it he relaxed a little. Tossing it in his hands a few times, he looked it over. It was a cube. He'd read somewhere that holocrons could only be used by people who could use the force, so he used a little experimentally. The cube opened. He watched. He practiced. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling a bit better.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren returns.

“Hux, is Ren coming home soon?” Rey asked instead of focusing on her lesson, much to Hux’s frustration. She’d been asking the damn question since the day after he’d first left. “It’s been five days, he said he’d be back in a cycle.” He swallowed his exasperated, scolding remark when he heard her voice fall with unspoken sadness. Rey had been doing her own hair herself since Ren had left. Currently it was a poor copy, she’d missed some hairs and they buns weren’t aligned. He had told her that but received a cursory stare in response everytime he did. On the third day he stopped commenting on it. When Rey wasn’t in his care, she was attached to the flight simulator like a tick. She nearly never left it except for to eat, sleep, and go to the restroom, so he was surprised when she showed up to his lessons punctually. She traded in her fleechment for grumbling. 

“The fifth day is yet to be completed. Have patience and do your work.” He patted her head and sat across from her. “He’ll be back soon.”

“I sure hope you’re right.” Rey sighed she put pencil to paper once more. Hux watched her. After the third day he’d found it peculiar how quickly she was learning. He’d tutored at his father’s Academy before and his pupils weren’t nearly as quick to catch on. He was determined to figure out how her brain worked. Now, he couldn’t quite tear her brain out of her skull because there are consequences, but he could sit and observe. 

“What time is it?” He sighed and glanced to the chrono on his wrist. 

“Roughly 1100 hours. You’re almost done. You have one more activity to do so I would focus if I were you.” Snoke had requested earlier that morning that Hux should arrive no later than one. Hux, being a military man, planned to arrive earlier. Slamming her pencil down with a groan she asked if she  _ had _ to do the next exercise. He felt unappreciated and he made it very clear. 

“Rey, I take six hours out of my day to teach you. My schedule didn’t have time for it but here I am teaching you numbers and basic. The work I give you is nothing compared to what I had to do when I was a student. You should be more appreciative of my time. Ten minutes of my time is of more value than a thousand credits. Yes, you have to do the last exercise, it’s not difficult. Stop your complaining. Didn’t you tell Kylo you would try your hardest?” Her groaning stopped and her eyebrows met together. “What would Kylo say if he knew you were slacking off?” Reluctantly, she resumed, muttering that Hux could shove it under her breath.

“I didn’t make such an impossible promise. I said I’d try and I did.” Her pencil was gripped tightly in frustration. Hux was nothing but a headache for her. “Kylo Ren will be proud of me no matter what you say, dung eater.” 

“That was unwarranted. If I have to hold back my snark, so do you. I’m your teacher so respect me a bit more, would you?” 

“Nah, you’re still Brendol Hux the second to me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” His voice rose in pitch. 

“It means you’re my friend.” Rey got him to shut up for a moment. He was speechless. A friend? He felt his face go hot and he scowled, staring daggers at her in silence. She was unaffected. 

“I’m not your friend, I’m more than four times your age.” 

“I don’t care how old you are. You’re my friend.”

“I don’t need friends.” 

“Kylo’s your friend.” He guffawed at that.

“Surely, you’re joking.” She shrugged and continued writing. 

Neither of them moved when Hux’s comm beeped in his pocket. They stared at each other, daring the other to look away, as if it were a childish competition-- which it was. The comm stopped ringing only for the comm at the door to ring. With a breath, Hux answered it tersely. It was Phasma. Ren’s shuttle was approaching the planet and would be arriving shortly. He told her that Rey and himself would go meet him.

“Who was that?” Rey chirped in curiousity.

“Captain Phasma. Apparently, your prince is returning.” He slung his overcoat over his shoulders and donned his hat. Rey had left the chair and bounced at him with a shrill giggle. “Hey, relax. We need to get you a coat before we venture out.” She backed off but only slightly. 

The trip to Ren’s quarters was short and Rey jogged to keep up with Hux’s fast walk. She liked the feeling of moving. It’d been a few days since she was last running. Her hair flopped wildly behind her. She was completely at peace as she made her way to her best friend. A relaxed smile danced across her face. The dark corridors were nothing, she saw only light. She felt light, as if she were weightless. The feeling only grew the longer she ran. Oh, how she had missed him. It’d been the longest they’ve been apart in a while. She’d missed him every second he was gone. Now that he was returning, the feeling was unimaginable. It felt as if the galaxy was being born again, a new star system forming with each step, planets accreting with each breath. 

And then there was nothing. As if a giant black hole had sucked everything inside, her breath along with it.

“Are you alright, you’re looking a little faint?” Hux asked when she slowed to a halt at the aperture to the surface. She stared forward blindly. She was staring at Ren and Asajj who were exiting the ship and making their way to Hux and Rey. Hux was perplexed to say the least. After all her whining, she was petrified upon Ren’s arrival. Figuring it was just some force nonsense, he ignored it and walked to meet Ren. 

“Hux.”

“Ren.” 

“Asajj will brief you. Where is she?” 

“Assuming the ‘she’ in question is Rey, she’s just inside.” He gestured toward it. “She was looking forward to meeting you but something came over her so she’s just... staring.” 

“Staring?” Kylo asked, walking past the General toward Rey. Hux followed him in. Rey was standing where he’d left her, staring just as blankly toward the shuttle as before. 

“See what I mean?” Ren didn’t reply to him. Instead, he tentatively stood in front of her. When she didn’t move at all, he crouched to her level.

“Rey? Rey, it’s me.” He didn’t get a response after waving his hand in front of her face. Sighing through his helmet, he reached for her shoulder and shook it. “Hux, how long has she been like this?”

“Not long, maybe a few minutes maximum. “ At Kylo’s shaking, she blinked. She blinked again and she came back to reality. 

“Ben?” 

“Yes, Rey, it’s me.” He took his helmet off then. His eyes would stay brown now thanks to the holocron. 

“Ben.” She began to cry.

“Yes, Rey.” He moved to envelop her in his arms to comfort her. She frowned and stepped back from him as tears fell. He felt as if the world gave out from under him at the look of fear that graced her features. “Rey, come ‘ere.” He rose to his full height and stepped toward her. She took another step back. He stopped advancing. They stood staring at each other. 

“You’re n-not my Ben.” She shook her head and let out a sob. “Where's my Ben?” His throat constricted. He was dumbfounded. He’d expected her to welcome him back and tell him she missed him. Instead she bawled and evaded him. He was hurt. 

“Rey, stop this.” He choked out, reaching a beseeching hand toward her. She only clenched her head in her hands and took more steps away from him. “Rey, I'm right here.” He was growing impatient. 

“No, no, no!” She looked at him with such a fierceness that he had to look away. “You’re not my Ben!” Hux had long since taken steps backward to watch from a safe distance. It wasn't far enough because the walls began to bend under the pressure of some unseen force. He, being force blind, decided to flee for the moment. It was a wise decision. 

“Well if I'm not your Ben then you’re not my Rey!” Kylo screamed. She shook at his deep voices rise in volume. He regretted. “You’re...” He sighed. “Rey, please. I am still your Ben, what’s come over you?” He started softly. “I go on a quick mission and come back to find you like this. What happened, Sunshine?” 

“You did something. Something you’re hiding from me. My Ben would never hide anything from me!” With that she ran. Kylo gave chase and easily caught up to her. He only had to walk briskly to keep up with her running. “Leave me alone!” She cried as she ran from him. It hurt him, it hurt him more than she would know. She had been running to their quarters as if it would deter him from pursuing any further. It didn’t stop him, of course. As she stopped to open the door she pushed him to the ground with the force. He got back up with a growl. 

“Rey!” But she was already inside. Upon entering he considered a different tactic. 

_ Rey. _ He felt her out, she was in her room. He tried to open the door but it was locked. As was the bathroom door that led to her room. 

“Go away!” 

_ Rey, please. Tell me what’s wrong. Rey-- _

“No.” She cried. He felt that she was sitting against the door so he mimicked her on his side of the door. Kylo could have easily unlocked it using the force, but it would have only stoked Rey’s anger. He sent has as much assurance and love that he could through their bond. He sent her memories they shared: her first lost tooth, her first trinket, that time Luke caught them in the meadow after hours. Eventually she stopped crying and settled on sniffling every so often. He let her calm down a bit before he continued.

_ Rey, please talk to me. _

“What happened on your trip? What was it for?” She prompted weakly. 

“I went to the old Jedi archives in Coruscant for some holocrons, and then we went to Bespin to look around.” If he’d said it telepathically she would be able to detect the lie. 

“What happened on Bespin, then?” 

“We... we met up with an old friend of my parents. It’s not important what we talked about.”

“What did you guys do?” She was trying to get him to slip up and he could tell. 

“We talked. He betrayed me, though. You see, Luke sent out a bounty for us for leaving the Academy. My parent’s friend, he took advantage of me. He alerted the authorities.”

“Luke did that?” Rey was hurt and scared. 

“Yes, starlight. He did.” He let it sink in. “The authorities were going to capture me and if they couldn’t they would have to kill me.”

“No!” She exclaimed. “They can’t do that. What did you do next?”

“Rey, I did what I had to do. I did what was necessary to make it out of there.” 

“What did you do?” She repeated more stern than before. He sighed shakily. Her rejection was beginning to get to him. 

“Please, don’t ask me. I don’t want to talk about it.” He ended the conversation. She was silent for a while after that. His jaw clenched so tightly it was painful when he imagined her reaction if he ever told her. “I did it for you. I did it for you and that’s all you need to know.” From behind him, the door opened after a few long seconds. Rey cautiously came out. Ren didn’t look up from his feet until she knelt in front of him. A sad smile on her face as she kissed his hair.

“I won’t, because I forgive you.” He crumbled, her support was too much. 

“I don’t deserve you.” He whispered, shaking his head. It startled him when she grabbed both sides of his face and made him look at her before throwing her arms around his neck. The force of her hug nearly choked him.

“I'm only forgiving you because you're more Ben now than when you landed.”

“Oh?” He hugged her back, feeling her nod. 

“Yeah, you weren't Ben.”

“Well I'm glad. Who else would I be if not Ben?” 

“Kylo Ren.” Her tone was cold. 

“Oh.” He understood perfectly but was disappointed that his new name was hated so fiercely. She'd use it in public still, but never at home. “What should I do the next time I come back?” 

“Comm home so I can look at you and feel your signature slowly instead of all at once. You were really dark, Ben. I was scared. I was excited to see you come back but when you came out of your ship, it was too much. I couldn't see. I couldn't hear. I couldn't feel. It was like I was in pitch darkness.” He hugged her tighter and made a mental note to focus on the light more before coming home again. “It wasn't Ben’s signature. It was something more sinister. You looked like you but you didn't feel like you were you.”

“I'm sorry for scaring you.”

“Don't scare me like that again. Please.” She leaned back to be able to look at his face. He gulped.

“I won’t.” But he didn’t meet her eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still ill, omgggggg i hate this.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snoke inspects Kylo’s saber.

Kylo wasn’t an idiot. He knew such a thing would be impossible to uphold forever. But for her, he would try. She pinched his nose in a teasing gesture before leaving his embrace. 

“I’ve been doing my own hair since you’ve been gone. I’m not good at it though.” She turned to show him her floppy buns. 

“Nah, you tried your hardest and that’s all that matters. Go get your brush and I’ll redo them.” Her hair was knotted pretty badly. “Did you even brush your hair?” 

“...No, it was in buns and when it wasn’t I put it back in buns.” He let out a light, throaty chuckle. “Stop laughing and fix my hair like you said you would.” 

“As you wish, my lady.” She cracked a smile at that. 

“Hux called you my prince.” 

“He did, did he? Did he say anything else?” Kylo couldn’t help but want to jab the General. 

“He said we were like  ‘star-crossed lovers’ or something. He also called you a dirty bantha but that’s not important.” Kylo scoffed mildly as he finished brushing out the knots. Her hair was like fine silk in his hands. 

“What did you say when he said those things?” She smirked and laughed.

“I called him a dung eater, dirty nerf, a moisture boy.” Rey listed before trailing off. 

“Nice, Rey. He was still teaching you while I was away, I assume?” She nodded slightly so as to not disturb his progress with her hair. 

“Mhm, I tried my hardest, like I said I would. Are you proud of me?” 

“Of course, starlight. I’m always proud of you.” He purred against her hair as he placed a kiss to it. 

“That’s what I told Brendol.” 

“It’s Brendol, now? What happened to calling him Hux?” He frowned, not quite liking the implied familiarity. She shrugged.

“I dunno, he’s my friend. Why wouldn’t I call him that? He doesn’t like it when I say it around him so don’t tell him.” Kylo pressed the issue, trying to dissuade her from using the given name. 

“Well, if he says he doesn’t like it, you shouldn’t use it.” 

“Fine.” Kylo finished redoing her buns with practiced ease. 

“Did you get a chance to see the flight sim?”

“Yes! Ben, it’s the best thing ever. It’s all I did while you were gone. I can probably fly a TIE fighter by now.” They stayed together after her hair was done. When his comm rang at his side, it took all the willpower he had to leave her side again. “Will you be back?” Hux was waiting in the hall outside the door with Kylo’s helmet in tow. 

“I’ll be quick, Rey. Don’t hurt yourself while I’m away. I trust you can be left to yourself for a half hour or so?” She nodded with desperate eyes. Rey didn’t want him to leave her sight now that he was back. He had a faint idea why: she was afraid he'd become not himself again. Kylo sent waves of reassurance to her as he put his helmet on. 

“I love you.” She blurted.

“I know.” The door obstructed their stare, leaving Rey feeling cut off and Kylo disgruntled. 

“What was all that about?” The General prompted after a few long paces. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” Hux scoffed at his weak excuse of aloofness. “I don’t appreciate the prince and lovers garbage you told Rey.” 

“She never seemed to mind.”

“Well  _ I  _ do.” He couldn’t help but snap at him. Hux harrumphed. 

“Why, it's not like it means anything.” 

“You're right, but it still bothers me so I'd appreciate it if you stopped.” Kylo kept his tone civil as they approached the dank chamber.

“No, I don't think I will.” Kylo whipped his helmet to look him up and down as if he were a walking pile of rancid shit. “What? Got a problem? Take it up with the Supreme Leader.” The shorter man's nonchalance was irking him but for Rey's sake he held back on using the force on the little idiot. 

“Sleemo General.” He hoped it would get a reaction out of the man, it did but only slightly. The quiver of his Adam's apple as he swallowed a reply, the miniscule twitch to his brow he couldn't control, and the scalding side glance being the only notifications. 

“Ah, my best two, infuriating boys. Welcome back, Kylo Ren.” The two unruly young men stood with their legs shoulder width apart, hands knotted behind their backs. “How was your trip? Was it as eventful as I expected?” Snoke grinned at the clenching of Kylo’s jaw. “I received the holocrons. I assume you've used the one containing the secret to concealing the eyes.” Snoke raised a spindly finger to his own eyes. 

“Yes.” 

“You've completed your saber, I see.”

“Yes.” 

“Show me.” Snoke watched as Kylo withdrew the deactivated saber and held it out to him. “Activate it.” Kylo didn't hesitate. Snokes eyebrows, or where he would have eyebrows, rose at the sight. “An archaic design. How quaint. Why do you have exhaust ports?” 

“I don’t know.” Kylo didn't hide his ignorance. He didn't see which kyber crystal he'd used and hadn't gotten around to looking. 

“What do you mean you don't know. Are you blind or just plain stupid?” The irritation in Snoke’s voice rattled the air in the chamber. When Kylo didn't grace him with an answer he snatched it, deactivating it before he burned off his fingers. He could feel his Knights apprehension but ignored it. His own curiosity trumped any need to inform the lad as to what he was doing. 

It was an easy saber to disassemble, he found. The wires were soldered onto the outside and where the exhaust ports were attached he could see it was as well. It was beyond amateurish at best. It was so pathetic that he couldn't even insult it. The crystal was cracked.  _ Ah. _ His curiosity was quenched. Throwing the saber back to its creator, not even bothering to put it back together, he gave his diagnosis. 

“Your crystal is cracked and unstable. Why you have chosen it is beyond me. I believe that the ports are there because the power of the crystal is too much. The crystal that is chosen is very much related in nature to the creator. Only a fool would use a cracked crystal, but I suppose it fits you very well.” He let his words fester. “Now what did you find out on Bespin?” Kylo pulled the stolen holopad from his clothes and handed it to Snoke who looked at it questioningly. “What is this?” 

“It contains a copy of the message Skywalker sent out before his disappearance. I am afraid that that is all I found out.” 

“Did you let Calrissian live?” Kylo shifted on his feet.

“Yes. I believe he'll be useful in the future.”

“For you, or for the Order?” Snoke’s tone was a warning. 

“I'm afraid I don't understand the question.” Snoke stared him down with narrow eyes in silence. 

“Figure it out yourself, fool. Go back to Our Star, I have nothing more to say to you.” All the while, Hux had been silently observing, waiting for his turn like a good little boy. Kylo rolled his eyes as he walked away. 

His steps were heavy and with purpose as he made his way back to Rey. She was huddled in a ball in his bed when he returned. Her head shot up at the sound of his footsteps reaching the door. 

“Ben!” Rey exclaimed, jumping from the bed to hug him. He removed his helmet. 

“What were you doing?” 

“I didn't know how long you'd be gone and I panicked.” He noticed now that some of the clothes from the hamper were mixed in with the blanket. He hoped his bloodied clothes were already being washed. 

“I said I'd only be half an hour.”

“I don’t know how long that is.” He sighed and patted her head. “I didn't cry.” Her pride warmed the bond. 

“Oh? Why is that?” He purred. 

“You don't like it when I cry.” She watched him tentatively as he nodded. Rey stepped back and raised her arms to tell him to pick her up. He did. “Will we move to Hux’s ship once it's done?”

“I don’t know, probably. Why?”

“I want to be able to grow things if we do.”

  
“Should I tell him to have a garden installed?” She gave a confirming grunt. “Y’know, I'm kinda curious about how the flight simulator is like. Wanna show me how good you are?” Rey flashed him a toothy grin. “Alright, lemme put my helmet back on first.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still sick af.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Asajj do some combat training.

“How's our princess doing?” Asajj Ren said as she walked in on the pair at the flight sim. Rey didn't answer because she was so absorbed.

“She's doing amazing.” Kylo supplied without looking away from Rey. Rey stuck her tongue out of the corner of her mouth and her brows were knit together in concentration. To Kylo, she looked adorable. 

“I'm glad. Kylo, shall we have a go at sparring hand to hand later?”

“Yeah, that'd be great, Asajj. Good job, Rey, you're a natural!” She left the two alone in favor of practicing her forms. Before long, Kylo detached himself from Rey's side. The girl was too wrapped up to stop. “Are you ready?” Kylo took his helmet off and approached Asajj who was standing in the middle of the training room. Nodding, she threw down her training saber and dropped into a brawling stance. 

It was him who threw the first punch but it was hers that first connected. Her fist hit his jaw but he recovered quick enough to kick her in the gut. Her lithe self returned full force as if he hadn't just kicked her square in the stomach. 

“That was good. Don't hold back.” She breathed between punches. He successfully blocked the barrage of body shots and even managed to land a solid hit to her nose. It made him shiver when he felt the bone crunch. “That was good. Keep going.” Asajj growled and wiped the blood from her upper lip. He dodged a blow to the temple only to be hit in the cheek with a knee. Jostled from the connection he allowed Asajj to grip his hair to keep him in place as she kicked him repeatedly in the chest. With an animalistic snarl he got his bearings and used her lack of balance when she kicked to topple her to the ground. The force of the impact forced all the air from her lungs and it certainly didn't help that he was on top of her trying to punch her in the face. She held her guard up to shield herself from the head shots but grunted when he switched to body shots. Using her powerful legs she managed to escape from under him and flip the tables. Asajj managed to land a few good shots to his face before he shoved her off. By the end they were both bloodied and huffing from the exertion. Kylo cracked a smile after they both rose from a fighting stance. Asajj smiled back and playfully punched him in the pec. 

“That was good, Asajj. I've never fought like that before.” He revealed to her surprise. 

“What? You fight like a proper pugilist.” She was skeptical as she left to clean herself up. 

Kylo watched her leave before turning his attention back to his princess. He expected her to still be preoccupied but he found that she wasn't and was instead shooting a death glare at Asajj before turning her attention to Kylo with a frown. 

“You look like chewed meat.” He ran his fingers through his hair to push the sweaty locks from his face. “Why’d you let her hit you so much, you could have used the force.” Kylo shook his head with a breath.

“Using the force would have defeated the purpose of the exercise, my dear.” She was still pouting, maybe even more than before. “Are you done with the sim for now?” Rey nodded as she dropped down from the seat. 

“Sit down, Ben.” She ordered with a no nonsense tone. He obediently dropped to sit in a cross legged position in front of her. He had a busted lip, a bloody nose, bloodied knuckles, and could feel bruises beginning to form everywhere. He'd look like shit for days. Not if Rey had anything to do with it, no way would she be okay with him in pain. She stood in front of him. She leaned her forehead against his. She closed her eyes and held his face with her tiny hands. He was lost as to what she was doing but then her light exploded and it was all he could do not to flinch away. He closed his eyes but found that it didn't help but since it didn't hurt either he decided to keep them closed. Her light was so intense it made his skin tingle and burn. His injuries hurt the most. They felt as if they were being clawed apart, cell by cell. But then it was over and she retracted her light. Kylo was like a dying man before god, he was scared but he wanted more. Sure, it hurt him physically, but it was euphoric for his mind and soul. He kept his eyes closed for a moment after she removed her forehead from his. “All better.” Rey murmured happily. Kylo was stunned silent and gaped at her before she picked up one of his hands and held it in front of his face. His knuckles were healed. He licked the dried blood away from his lip. It was also healed. Before he could check anything else, Rey collapsed. 

“Oh frack, Rey?” He saw that she was just asleep after pulling her to his chest to check if she was breathing. He gave a relieved sigh. It was the second time she'd passed out after using the force too much at once. Kylo hoped it wouldn't become a pattern. Her safety was more important than his minor scrapes and bruises. 

  
Calling his helmet to his hand, he put it back on. He was silent, not even taking his usual heavy stomping steps, as he carried her princess style back to their place. No one he passed said anything but he could vaguely feel their fear because they hadn't heard him approaching and he was carrying an unconscious child. He didn't care. 


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time skip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im getting better!! :)

She awoke moments before they reached their place. 

“Ben?” 

“Yes, Rey?” Rey rubbed her eyes and yawned. 

“Ben, you look like hell.” Her eyes widened.  _ What-- oh. _ His hair was still matted with quick drying sweat. There was still dried blood under his nose. Suddenly feeling self conscious, he set her back down on her feet and wiped his face. 

“I'm going to go wash up, don't break anything.” She beamed and muttered something about no promises at his back as he went upstairs. 

His trip to the fresher was quick and efficient. He padded down the steps to the living room where Rey was taking apart some little piece of machinery she found. Kylo didn't disturb her progress and decided to grab a snack. He hadn't eaten since that morning. It dawned on him that Rey might not have eaten either because he landed around lunchtime. 

“Rey, are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?” 

“Yeah.” She hollered, not looking away from her entertainment for even a second. 

“What do you want to eat?” He asked quietly. 

“Anything, as long as it's eatable.”

“Edible is the word you're looking for, not eatable.” 

“Whatever, you know what I mean, Ben.” Ben grunted in confirmation as he opened the cooler to find it restocked.  _ When do they manage to do that without us noticing?  _ He put together the same simple sandwiches he did last time, this time with slices of apple included. “It looks good.” She climbed up onto the stool. Kylo pushed her plate to her. Though he himself was down right starving, he waited until she began to start eating before digging in as well. Ever the gentleman, but only for Rey did he do that. 

\-----

They settled into a routine, the two of them. She'd bid him safe travels and when he returned she wouldn’t greet him. She'd patiently hide herself away in her room until she felt her Ben returning. It was like he was molting everytime, shedding his sins as Kylo and returning to her Ben. Over the years it took longer and longer. Eight years of it. His trips away had grown longer. Their time together grew shorter. 

She'd grown exponentially. Her head now reaching around his armpit. He'd taught her how to do her buns herself once she was capable of the fine motor movements. She was now twelve and he, twenty three. His hair was longer but not too long, he made sure to keep it tame enough. He'd filled out his scrawny body and had accumulated numerous scars that Rey thankfully never asked about. 

Rey's Yavin-4 seeds had grown magnificently. She'd read up on gardening holos to learn how to pollinate the flowers and how to properly prune them while he was away. Their quarters always smelled like soil and plants now. Sometimes it bothered him but he'd never say it because of how happy it made her. More often than not, if she wasn't with Hux or down in a hangar tinkering ships, she was in her garden. 

As years passed, he'd gotten no leeway in finding his uncle. The Resistance, however, had come to know of their base on Moraband. He himself had never encountered the spies that dared infiltrate the base as a result. Despite his warnings, Rey still wandered the place as if there was no danger at all. He hoped the spies wouldn’t notice her, but he knew better and ordered for the efforts to eliminate them to triple. It was a futile gesture. The spies had taken note of ‘the girl’ and of his fondness. It didn't help that they knew Rey and Kylo lived together. It all made its way back to Leia. 

The spies never managed to snag anything with his helmet off, so for that she was a bit disappointed. Regardless she watched the clips with diligent eyes. The girl looked out of place. 

“Who's the girl?”

“That would be Lady Rey, General.” Her intelligence officer supplied.

“Why is she-- Why does Kylo Ren have her prisoner?” Everytime she had to call her baby boy that force forsaken name it hurt. It hurt her deeply because she could only imagine his baby face and the moments she cradled him in her arms. 

“She is not his prisoner.” She blanched at his next words. “We have reason to believe she is his child.” Leia’s mouth went dry. 

“What--” She cleared her throat and adopted her stoic tone. “How did you come to that conclusion?”

“They share a quarters, they exchange gestures of familiarity, Kylo Ren never strikes out against her despite her antagonistic words. Ren never extends such patience and self control with anyone else.” 

“Who is the mother, then, if you're so certain that he's the father? She looks ten, he's twenty three this year, in no way did he have the capacity to have a child at thirteen at the Jedi Academy.” She was beyond incredulous and defensive of her wayward son. Sure, he may commit mass murder and destroy villages, but he was brought up well. She was damn sure of that. 

“We have received records of their arrival to Moraband eight years ago. She was four at the time of arrival. Medical records show they are not related by blood. The most logical conclusion is that he either kidnapped her or adopted her.” 

  
“I need a moment.” She sighed warily as she walked to her room, taking the holopad with the holovids with her. _I wish you were here, Han._ _We're apparently grandparents._ She couldn't help but smile sorrowfully as she began to tear up. The grand General of the Resistance, crying over the loss of her son a second time. If only he were here, if only he hadn't turned, she may have been able to meet this child of his. Leia watched the vids and gasped at every kind gesture her son gave, clutching her chest as she mourned what could have been. Leia looked at the girl and imagined what it would be like to hug her and to be called grandma. Leia Organa, General of the resistance, was no fool. She had business to take care of, responsible adult things. Leia knew better than to dream of what could have been. She quickly collected herself and redid her makeup, making sure she didn't look as bad as she felt. Leia Organa, General of the resistance, was about to order a raid. The premise being to find any weapons of mass destruction or bolstering the capacity of fleets. She would never reveal the real reason: she wanted to meet her granddaughter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally we're gettin' somewhere.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In comes grandma.

“Rey, please be reasonable.” Kylo pleaded to an obstinate Rey in their living room. He sat at the couch and she was pacing with her arms crossed and an irate look to her eyes. “You can't expect me to just let you tinker for the rest of your life. You're force sensitive, Rey, can you at least let me teach you how to defend yourself?” 

“Maybe I don't want to be force sensitive. Maybe I just want to be normal!” He sighed in exasperation and ran his hands through his hair. “I don't want to be a Jedi.” 

“I’m not asking you to become a Jedi! I’m asking you to let me teach you how to defend yourself.” 

“Why would I need to learn that if I’m perfectly safe here!?” She had a point but the fact that the base was riddled with vermin of the Resistance disproved her argument. “And unless you have another mission, you’re here too.” She stopped pacing and looked at him pointedly. 

“Force damn it, you need a teacher, Rey.” He stood to meet her, fists clenched at his sides. He was aching to destroy something but he would never do that in front of her. She puffed up her chest to meet him. 

“MAYBE I DON’T NEED THE FORCE, AND MAYBE I DON’T NEED YOU!” Her words slipped out before she could stop herself. He was aghast, his irritation disappeared and was replaced with hurt. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that, I--” An alarm interrupted her.

“ALL PERSONNEL EVACUATE TO THE NECESSARY SHIPS, PROCEED WITH CAUTION! DISPATCH ANY AND ALL RESISTANCE MEMBERS. I REPEAT--” They both stood staring at each other in silence. Kylo’s immediate reaction was to grab her and throw her over his shoulder but he knew she wouldn’t like that. Her terrified expression made him find some semblance of calm to soothe her fear. 

“Rey, get any belongings you can’t bear to be without and hurry.” Nodding, she skipped steps up the stairs as she listened to his instruction obediently. He watched her back as she scrambled, beginning to panic. His comm rang and he answered it with shaky hands.

“My Lord, are Lady Rey and you alright?” Asajj’s frantic voice asked, it sounded as if she was running. “I am enroute to your quarters, please remain where you are until I arrive.” He murmured an ok and hung up. He began pacing, heart racing, hands shaking.  _ What’s taking her so long!? _ He thought in aggravated worry.   

“Rey--” 

“I’m ready.” She appeared with a her small messenger bag. He could see the little puff of a stuffed animal peeking through the bag. It must have been her ewok doll he’d given her after a trip to Coruscant one day. It looked similar to the one he had as a young boy, before his mother shipped him away. He hugged her suddenly and tightly. She yelped in surprise. “D-Did you get anything?” He shook his head. He had all he needed. Rey and his saber. Even though he was just majorly hurt by her cruel words, he still loved her and wanted her safe. He could feel her genuine regret. 

Then there was a jostling at the door and a distant explosion. He released her and shoved her behind him. Drawing his saber and approaching the door. His tensed haunches lowered upon opening it and seeing Asajj Ren, his long loyal companion. Rey still had a dislike of Asajj, that, he decided, would never go away. Rey knew better than to be petty at the moment and swallowed her blatant distaste when Asajj bowed to the both of them. 

“Ren, I’ll assist in protecting Our Lady.” Screams and blaster shots were heard in the hallway. Kylo looked over to Rey, who was now clutching on to his arm like a life preserver. He didn’t want her to see the carnage. Determined, he tore a strip of fabric from the end of his cloak.

“Rey, let me cover your eyes with this. Please let me, I don’t want you to see anything. I’ll hold your hand and guide you.” She nodded and let him tie it around her head. He kissed her forehead before taking her hand and putting his helmet back on. “Rey, no matter what do not open your eyes and removed the blindfold.”

“I’m scared.” She whimpered, close to hyperventilating. He pressed feelings of calm through the bond as he simultaneously squeezed her hand. He relit his saber and stepped into the hallway, effectively keeping Rey inside incase of an attack. There was no one-- living. He could see numerous troopers littering the ground along with some dead resistance soldiers. The base was filled with similar scenes, he had to deflect a few stray blaster bolts away from the three of them as they approached the hangar that contained his shuttle. He swore under his breath when he saw the gunfight going on inside. His jet black shuttle was thankfully not in the middle of it, it was off to the side. 

“Asajj, do you think we could sneak over to my shuttle?” He muttered. 

“Looking at their numbers, I think not. The odds that we'll survive are--” He held up a finger.

“Don’t tell me what the odds are. Don’t do that.” 

“Kylo?” Rey murmured shakily. The two adults looked at her.

“Yes, Rey?” 

“There’s-- I feel someone. They feel like you.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Their force signature. It feels like yours.” His jaw clenched, realizing it was his mother who probably ordered the attack. 

“I’ll be right back, Princess.” Kylo gently cupped her cheek before entering the battle. Handing Rey over to Asajj despite Rey’s protestations, he entered the gunfight with a roar in an attempt to release his mounting rage. Even the men on his side were startled by his sudden entrance. He took advantage of the enemies surprise and easily mowed down a few. It thrilled him. It filled him with dark satisfaction to slay those who endangered Rey. He let himself slip into Kylo and out of Ben. 

Rey gasped at the change and felt herself want to go to the familiar signature. When her Ben became Kylo, it terrified her. She felt the signature approaching and found some solace in it. Rey felt Asajj tense and brandish her vibrosaber. Rey didn’t need her sight to tell Asajj to stand down, using a bit of the force in the demand. She heard footsteps amongst the howling and blaster shots. 

“Rey.” Leia began. “Rey, where is my son? He’s called Kylo Ren now, he’s your guardian.” She was a little bit shorter than Rey. “Why are your eyes covered?”

“Kylo said not to take it off because he didn’t want me to see. He’s... he’s... who are you?” Rey inquired suspiciously. Leia smiled, mildly amused, as she raised the blindfold enough for them to see each other. Immediately, Rey recognized her and drew back with a startled gasp.

“I’m not going to harm either of you. Before being a General, I’m his mother and that makes me your grandmother, isn’t that right?” The implications to her question was lost on Rey. 

“I guess, but Kylo said he doesn’t have a mom or dad anymore. He said they died. Why would he lie?”

“No, no, my dear. We’re very much alive. He must have said that only to distance himself from us.” She paused and pulled the young girl into a warm hug. Rey found that she felt right at home. If she’d had a mother, this is what she thought she would feel like.  She smelled familiar, like Ben and powder. “I can’t stay for much longer, sweetie. I just wanted to meet you.” Leia brushed stray strands of hair away from Rey’s face and kissed her forehead the same way Kylo did minutes before. 

“Will I ever talk to you again?” Rey didn’t like how desperate she sounded and scowled at herself. “Will you--”

“Shh, my darling. I will give you my private frequency. You can’t tell anyone, not even my son. Actually, especially my son. Listen, darlin’, if you tell him or anyone here you won’t be able to hear his embarrassing baby stories.” She slipped a prewritten slip of flimsy into Rey’s hand, holding it in both of hers. “I’ll always be one comm away if you ever want to talk. Nothing is too small, you can tell me how your day went, what you did, if you’re unhappy. If you ever want me to come pick you up, all you have to do is give me your coordinates and I’ll be there.” Rey was overwhelmed and confused but carefully tucked the paper away in her satchel. 

“Why are you being so nice?”

“I’m just an old woman trying to dote on her grandchild to make up for lost time.” Leia purred, lowering the makeshift blindfold to its original position before sighing and glaring at Asajj in that motherly way that told her not to protest. 

  
“And you, don’t you tell anyone that I was here either. If Rey ever feels the need to escape for a little while and happens to give me your coordinates, I promise you that I won’t use the information against you. Don’t tell my boy either if you know what’s good for you.” Leia harrumphed before taking her leave. “I’ll be waiting for your call, sweetie.” 


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aboard the Finalizer.

“Asajj?”

“Yes, My Lady?” 

“Don’t-- Don’t tell him about what just happened. Don’t say anything.” Rey was feeling Leia walk away, taking her warmth with her, and mourning the loss of her proximity.

“My Lady, if it poses a danger to either of you--”

“It won’t. She said so. I trust her. Now, shhh, he’s coming back.” Rey spoke sharply, trying her hardest to hide her apprehension growing at his approach. She didn’t want to hurt him more by showing her fear. Kylo returned, huffing, with his saber sheathed at his side. 

“There is no longer an issue. Let’s go.” He elicited a gasp from Rey as he yanked her by the arm. As Kylo, his gentleness was replaced with roughness. His kind words were replaced with bitter retorts. His thoughtfulness, replaced by recklessness. Thankfully, Asajj said nothing of the previous encounter. She stumbled a little at his quick pace but was dragged along all the same. It smelled like burnt meat and smoke. “Asajj, it isn’t safe on planet. Let’s rendezvous with Hux, he escaped with the Supreme Leader on his pet project the  _ Finalizer _ . The bastard is upset that he couldn’t give it the proper debut that he wanted.”

“Pretentious as always.” Asajj sighed as she climbed into the copilot's seat. 

“Am I going to be able to see again, or what?” Rey spat sassily. Kylo just scowled at her from behind his helmet for a moment before removing it for her. 

“If you’re going to be a whiney baby then go to my quarters and be pissy by yourself.” She snarled as she stomped her way to his room. He sighed and returned to the pilot's seat. 

“What did I do?” He asked Asajj who shrugged.

“I think it’s all hormones. She’s getting around that age, you know.” He scoffed at that as they flew from the hangar, mindful to fly under the radar. “You’re gonna wake up one day and she’ll be a grown woman before you know it.” 

“No. She’s only twelve. She shouldn’t be hitting puberty yet.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure. I got my first menstruation at twelve.”

“I could have gone my whole life without knowing that.” Asajj laughed out loud at that. 

“Oh, come on. You have a preteen. You’re going to hear a lot more things you could have gone without.” He could only groan because he knew she was right. 

Once off planet, Rey looked back at it through the viewport in his quarters. It was a sobering sight, the fiery red that dotted it was enough to make her forget her childish squabbles. Somewhere, in the back of her mind she hoped the nice lady was safe. The explosions looked small but she knew they were huge and destructive. Rey let out a sad breath at the reality of her plants perishing. She was glad, however, that she'd taken more seeds with her in her bag. Ben told her that Hux made sure to put in a large garden for his star pupil. 

She was sitting cross legged on the bed.   _ How am I going to keep grandmother a secret? Oh, I like how that feels. ‘Grandmother’. _ Rey giggled to herself at the funny sensation the word provoked and imagined the most grandparenty things she could think of. Freshly baked sweets and pastries, knitted gifts like quilts and scarves, ‘back in my day...’. She smiled at the scenarios, knowing deep inside that they'd never happen for her. 

A knock at the door.

“My Lady, we are approaching the  _ Finalizer  _ shortly. Lord Ren has advised for you to be prepared to leave--” Rey grunted and left the bed, her mood thoroughly ruined. She opened the door and glared up at her foe before making a point of shoving past her. The whole day, Rey had been feeling peeved. Any minor inconvenience, any remark or even coughing, pissed her off. She had no idea why she was being so rude and easy to anger so she wrote it off as Kylo’s emotions trickling through the bond. She sulked out into the common before heading to the cockpit to stare at Ren. He looked over to her briefly as she sat in the copilot's chair and pulled her legs up onto the console. Since he wasn’t saying anything, she broke the silence. 

“‘m sorry about what I said earlier.” His brow twitched and jaw clenched before he responded. His tone mildly irritated her. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, you’ll have to be more specific, Star.” She rolled her eyes at the nickname. She was twelve; she wasn’t a child anymore. 

“When I said I didn’t need you. I didn’t mean it. I was angry.” 

“Do you think I wasn’t angry? I assure you, I was. I would never say something so damning to you.” 

“Yeah, right. You’ve said a ton of things like that in the past!” She bellowed.

“Really? Name one time, Rey.” This shut her up. They stared at each other, her glaring and him observing. They docked on the  _ Finalizer.  _ “Let’s go. Get your bag.” She did just that but not before shoving him. He didn’t move much so she groaned in exasperation. Rey didn’t care to wait for the two Ren’s as she left the ship and found Hux among the crowd of stormtroopers and other officials. 

“Hux!” She yelled over the raucous commotion as she darted to him. He whipped his head around until he spotted where the voice was coming from. He was in a foul mood over the attack. “You okay? Hurt at all?” He scoffed, dismissing the people he was talking with. 

“Of course I’m uninjured. You know I’m no fool like Ren.” He had a point.  _ He _ wasn’t the one with skin that was more scar than skin. “You aren’t hurt are you?” He tipped her head up by the chin with his fingers and moved it left and right. 

“I’m alright. Nothing hurts.” Either in relief of her safety or of annoyance at her appearance, he sighed. 

“What do you want?” His attitude didn’t bother her anymore and nowadays she joined in on bashing Kylo with him. 

“Where’s my quarters? Kylo said you made me a garden.” She studied his features as he mulled the question over.

“He knows where it is, ask him.” As if on command, Kylo stomped over with Asajj close behind. “Hello, barve, I’m glad to see you haven’t croaked since I last saw you.” Hux acknowledged Asajj’s presence with a short nod. 

“Glad to see you haven’t self-combusted over the latest issue.” Kylo retorted. Rey and Asajj watched quietly, taking matching steps backward and toward each other. The two men glared at each other. Phasma thankfully interrupted. 

“General, My Lord, My Lady, I hope you are all unharmed.” Rey rushed to Phasma’s side and hugged her casually, not caring who saw the public display of affection. The intimate group of them didn’t flinch at it, but onlookers did. Shock, Rey could tell, was the main emotion. Shock followed by fear. As was usual in the First Order. 

  
“Captain, we are relatively uninjured. If you are able, escort Rey to our new quarters.” Phasma saluted and walked off with Rey holding her hand. Countless stormtroopers watched the debacle in unrecognized jealousy.  


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey reaches womanhood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't know how to write this.

“Hey, Phasma.” Rey began after setting her messenger bag down on her new bed. The Captain was standing just inside the room, removing her helmet. 

“Yes, love?” Phasma took a seat on Rey’s bed beside her. Rey looked abashed. “Rey, you know you can tell me anything.” Phasma took her blushing as distraught and lifted her hand up to brush her young one’s cheek. 

“Do you think he hates me?” Rey asked meekly. 

“Are you referring to Hux or to Ren?” 

“Ren.” 

“Of course not. You know how much he loves you.” Rey sighed. “Ren wouldn’t be able to function without you.”

“Do you think Asajj and Kylo are together?” Phasma let her jaw hang at the question but quickly pursed her lips. 

“They are the only two Knights of Ren.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” It was Captain Phasma’s turn to sigh. 

“I don’t think they’re like that, love.” 

“How can you be so sure? They’re together all the time. He spends more time with her than with me. I bet he wishes I wasn’t even here. I’m just in the way.” Rey teared up but refused to let her emotions get the better of her. Phasma was thrown for a loop, having forgotten Rey was approaching that special time. 

“Don’t say that, love. I’m sure he loves you very much. Ask anyone, they’ll tell you the same thing.” Rey pouted obstinately, she wouldn’t be swayed. 

“That’s ‘cause he’ll get mad if they say otherwise. They’re scared of him. Sometimes, I’m scared of him too.” 

“He would never hurt you.”

“I know that. He just babies me all the time, it’s annoying. I’m twelve. I’m not a baby anymore.” 

“You’re right, you’re not a baby, Rey. But don’t be in a hurry to grow up.” 

“I don’t wanna be a kid an-- ouch.” A sharp ache in her stomach surprised her. 

“Rey, what’s wrong, love?”

“Ph-Phasma, my stomach-- I don’t know what’s happening. It-- agh.” Phasma went into autopilot. 

“Asajj, quickly. Put Kylo on the line.” Phasma had pulled her comm out and called the one person who could be classified as an emergency contact. A brief pause. “My Lord? Something is-- you know? Where are we? We are in your quarters, Ren--” He hung up. Phasma went to plan B. “Rey, dear. Let’s try to get you to the fresher. Maybe you need to poop.” Rey was in a panic but did as she was asked and carried herself to the fresher with her arms wrapped around her middle. She was down right confused. She knew what a simple stomach ache felt like and this was certainly not it. She pulled her pants and underwear down to go to the bathroom as directed but looked at an anomaly there. She screamed a strangled cry. Rey couldn’t think, but her brain immediately thought of Ben and his reassuring hugs. Barely capable of anything but freaking the frack out, she could hear a commotion outside the door. Still, she was startled when there was an insistent knock and a familiar voice.

“Rey? Rey? What’s wrong? Open up!” She managed to unlock it with a bit too much force involved after pulling her bottoms back up. The door swung open violently, startling everyone. 

“B-Ben, there’s-- I-- What-- I’m scared.” She settled on between sobs. 

“Rey, Rey, calm down. Breathe, relax.” Kylo tried to placate while also terrified as to why he felt her pain. A sharp pain that waned and came back just as strong. It had stopped hurting but her emotional distress hurt him now. Phasma stood tensely at the doorway. 

“Ben, the-there’s blood.” His mind immediately came to the conclusion someone had hurt her and he felt white hot fury threaten to erupt. Phasma on the other hand relaxed, having found out exactly what was ailing her young one. 

“Who, Rey. Who hurt you? I swear I’ll--” Phasma’s hand on his shoulder nearly caused him to lash out at her in his angry panic. He stared at her, barely concealing a snarl. 

“Sir, no one hurt her.” He wouldn’t be made a fool.

“What do you mean by that? Why else would she be a mess like this? She says she’s bleeding, fetch a medic!” Phasma shook her head awkwardly and scratched her neck, looking anywhere but at him. 

“She’s become a woman.” The words bounced off him at first but after a few seconds his rage abated and was replaced by a dumb blankness. He visibly was taken aback, having jerked his head back as the realization hit him harder than a slap to the face by a wampa. 

“Oh.” He was made a fool. “Oh.” Kylo cleared his throat and collected himself. “Phasma, p-please take her to the medbay. Or whatever it is that needs to be done. I’m-- Bye.” He stiffly walked out and left Rey sniffling and confused. Phasma could have laughed at the way he handled the situation but had her attention drawn back to her young one. 

“Oh, come here, love. You’re alright. It’s completely natural.”

“W-Why is there blood? Why did he leave?” The Captain, in all her years of service, had never had to explain the female reproductive cycle to anyone. 

  
“It’s alright. You’re fine. Don’t worry. You’ll know soon.” Not knowing what else to do, she repeated the words like a mantra as she escorted the young girl to the medbay. It was already filled with the wounded of the Resistance attack. Phasma cursed under her breath, her task being made difficult. She found a doctor and stayed by Rey’s side during the whole ordeal. The explanation, exam, how to deal with it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kylo doesn't know how to handle it.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey calls Leia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably going to wrap up soon.

Rey walked back with Phasma in a daze. It was all too much. She didn’t want to bleed. She didn’t want to have to deal with it every month. She really didn’t like how she’ll have to deal with it until she’s an old lady. Phasma watched her sympathetically. 

“Cheer up, love. It’s not all that bad.” She tried. Rey just looked up at her poignantly, causing her to shut up. 

“Thank you. I’m alright now. I’m going to sleep. You don’t have to stay; I can take care of myself.” Rey assured once they reached the lodgings. Phasma was unconvinced but understood that the girl would need some time to digest what was happening with her body. 

Once the coast was clear, Rey made a mad dash for her bedroom, locking the door behind her. Wrangling her self constructed holotransceiver from her bag, Rey tried to connect to Leia. With bated breath, she waited. 

“Hello, Rey. I wasn’t expecting you to call so soon.” Rey let out the breath she had been unwittingly holding. 

“I-- Sorry, I-- Kylo--”

“Ben, please, call him Ben.” Puzzled, Rey continued. 

“Ben isn’t here right now. So I figured I could call you. I’m sorry if I interrupted anything, with you being a General and all.” Leia waved at her as if to say ‘nah’.

“Oh, no. We pulled out a few minutes ago. How are you doing?” 

“I... got my first menstruation.” Her grandmother’s face contorted in excitement and happiness.

“Oh my! Rey, you’re becoming a woman now! Congratulations, my dear! It feels like only an hour ago you were a young girl.” Leia voiced with a glimmer in her eye and a quick wink. Rey was comforted. The woman absolutely radiated comfort. “Where is my son, if I may ask?” Rey shrugged. 

“I don’t know. Probably destroying something.” Leia looked confused. “He does that when he’s frustrated or hears something he doesn’t like.” She frowned as she spoke. “He thinks I don’t know about it. Being the techwizz I am and all the free time I have, I’ve seen the carnage he leaves behind. Repairing and replacing all the consoles makes it kinda hard to forget.” Rey took her stuffed ewok from her bag and hugged it. Leia visibly choked up at the sight. Rey panicked. “I’m sorry, did I upset you?” The older woman quickly shook her head to dismiss the notion.

“No, not at all, sweetie. It’s just that... Ben used to have a similar one. He used to carry it around everywhere. It took quite a beating over the years. I think I still have it somewhere in storage.” 

“I didn’t know that. Ben never told me.” Rey said sorrowfully. “He never tells me anything.” 

“Oh, I bet he has good intentions, Rey.” Rey grunted, not convinced. “Do you want to hear a secret?” Rey looked up at the hologram of her grandmother and saw a mischievous glint to her smile. “The attack on Moraband today was a cover.” The woman seemed to get a rush out of divulging the information. “I just wanted to meet you.” Rey was extremely touched in an odd way. The fact that someone would go so far just to meet her blew her mind. 

“You really are Ben’s mom, huh?” 

“Of course I am, I birthed that hulk of a man believe it or not.” Leia sighed. 

“He hated the Academy. He hates Luke. Whenever I ask about it since I was too young to remember much about it he gets upset.” The laugh lines of Leia’s face turned out to be frown lines. 

“Rey, I want you to understand that I sent him there with the best intentions. I sent him to his uncle’s. I thought he would appreciate being with other force sensitive children.” Leia’s voice was serious and stern but not cruel or mean. 

“He said you abandoned him.” A slight gasp escaped her as she clutched her chest to steady herself. Of course he would blame her. He had every right to be. 

“I did no such thing. I thought of him every moment of every day when he was away. I wanted to visit him, I really did. I pleaded for Luke to let me visit even if it was only one time but he objected. He said that Ben’s training would be thrown away if I came.” Leia teared up. She was in her private chambers on the Resistance’s command shuttle. “I did not abandon him. I loved him and did what I thought was best. You’ll understand if you have children one day.” Leia sniffed, not caring that Rey was taking in everything. 

“You still love him.”

“Unconditionally.”

“He’s done really bad things, I don’t know what exactly but I’ve heard whispers.”

“He’s still my son.”

“How can you say that? He doesn’t even go by Ben Solo anymore. He’s Kylo Ren. He’s not your son.”

“If he can take care of you and show tenderness to you, then he is still my boy. If he can be kind and patient with you, then he is my boy. If he can raise you for eight years without ever striking you, then he is my boy, Ben.” Rey let out a sigh. A brief sigh of relief and disbelief. Relief that someone else believed in Ben. Disbelief that anyone else could love him. “He’s my boy, Rey. And since he’s my son, that makes you mine as well. If Ben accepts you, as deranged as he is at the moment, then I accept you, Rey Organa-Solo.” 

  
“Thank you.” Tearfully, Rey whispered. 


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux chooses a bad way to help Kylo cope.

There was something about Leia that inspired absolute confidence. Perhaps it was how she was an active listener, or because she knew exactly what Rey means when she spills all her thoughts to her. It was only their first call and yet Rey had blabbed everything within a matter of minutes. Quite frankly, Rey didn’t care. During a lull in their conversation, an attendant spoke to Leia quietly. 

“Sweetiepie, it appears I have to go.” Both of them frowned. 

“Duty calls?”

“Yes, duty calls. Message me whenever you want to talk again and I swear to you I'll do the best I can to make time for you.”  _ What does that mean?  _ Saying their goodbyes to one another, Rey tucked away her holotransceiver and went down stairs. 

The layout of the place was nearly the same as the one on Moraband. It made it easier to transition. Opening the door to the room where the unused training regalia would be, she found her promised garden. It had no plants growing. There was only rich loamy dirt. The ceiling was high and there were artificial sun lamps along it. 

“Wow.” 

Meanwhile, Kylo was wandering the hallways without any direction. It was Hux who pulled him from his daze with a pat to the shoulder. 

“Ren, what are you doing? Didn't you say Rey was hurt?” Brendol was concerned for his star pupil. 

“Huh? Oh, yes. She's fine.” Hux noticed the slight lilt in his voice despite his helmet. Eight years of dealing with it does that to a person. 

“You look like you need a drink. I just so happened to have wrapped up my duties for the evening. Let's go.” The two of them would deny it profusely, but they were good friends. Kylo drumbled behind Hux until they made it to his General's chambers. Gesticulating for the knight to take a seat, Hux opened up his wine stash. He'd made sure to have one installed. Kylo took off his helmet and laid it on the transparisteel table. “Whiskey or red wine?”

“Whiskey, Hux.” Hux placed a wine glass and a hard liquor one on the table. Pouring himself a tall glass of wine, Kylo followed suit with his whiskey. Hux watched the man wince at the bite of his chosen vice. 

“Care to tell me what's bothering you?” Hux observed Kylo from above the rim of his glass. Kylo sighed and scratched his head. 

“She's growing up too fast. I thought she was hurt but it turns out it was her first menstruation. She's growing up too fast, Hux.”

“Rey is a growing girl, you can't tell her to stop the inevitable.” Kylo groaned and poured himself another. 

“What do I do?” 

“Come to terms with it. I don't see why you're so torn up over this. You should be happy for her. From what I've heard, this is a very pivotal time for young girls.” 

“I don’t know how to react to this.” Kylo gave up on the cup Hux had given him and was instead drinking straight from the bottle. Hux sipped more of his wine. He was savoring it. “I noped out once I realized.” 

“Hah! You’re more of a bastard than I thought you were.” Hux spat, it didn't really impact his idiotic friend. 

“Do you think she'll be alright? Did I do something I can't fix?” Kylo gasped in horror. “Do I have to give her the birds and the bees talk? I'm not ready for that, Hux. I wouldn't even know where to begin. Will she start liking boys now? Hux, I can’t handle this!” Kylo flung his head down dramatically on the table, causing the glasses on top to shake. 

“I already taught her those lessons.” Kylo picked his head up from the table and stalked over to his ginger friend, whiskey bottle in hand. 

“How dare you! That was my job as her guardian. It was my right!” Hux maintained eye contact as the man pointed an irate finger at him. 

“She started asking questions and as her teacher I provided the answers.” Kylo huffed bitterly but retracted his finger. “Don't get your tunic in a bunch. If you feel it is so important to tell her about it, give her a refresher course. Now sit back down, you brute.” Ren obliged, swigging his whiskey. “You're going to be the end of me, I swear.” Hux grumbled before chugging the rest of his glass, pouring himself more. 

“What kind of whiskey is this?” Kylo asked absentmindedly. 

“Corellian, why?” Hux watched as the full grown man slid from his chair onto the floor. He rose from his chair to get a better view. Ren was nearly in a fetal position with the bottle in his mouth like a pacifier. “I think you've had enough.” Kylo chugged as much of the hard liquid as he could before Hux pulled it away. “Tell me, why are you on my floor?” Kylo simply whined and leaned up on his elbows. Setting the bottle aside,  Hux let out a breath. Kylo had drank a little more than half of it. 

“Take me home. I wanna see Rey.” Kylo struggled, trying to pick himself up. 

“Do you think she wants to see you in such a sorry state? I think she'd feel upset that you drank yourself into a tizzy.”

“I just want to go home. Help me up. I'll go right to sleep, I swear.” Hux pulled him up, placing his glass in the table and swinging Kylo’s arm over his shoulder. “Wait, let me get my helmet on.”

“I don't think it'll make much of a difference when people see you like this.” Hux comm’d Rey's quarters as he nearly drug the intoxicated man through the halls. 

“Hey, Hux. What's up?” 

“Hello, I just wanted to tell you that Ren is drunk and that I am delivering him to you personally.” Hux grunted, the larger man slowing him down. He could hear her sigh. 

“I thought I told you not to enable him. He's a messy drunk and yet you still let him drink.”

“I apologize, he looked like he needed a good drink at the time.” She didn't respond and he thought that she may have hung up but then she spoke. 

“I'll get everything set up for him. He's too heavy for me to get him up the stairs so I'll be counting on you for the manpower. You owe me as much.” Hux couldn’t argue with that. “See you soon.” Rey ended the comm. 

“Was that my Starlight? Why didn't you lemme talk to ‘er?” Kylo was mildly offended. “Hux, you bas’ard.” 

“Maybe if you didn't drink so much I would have let you.” Kylo mumbled incoherently. Hux was getting red faced from the exertion but also because he himself had had a few glasses of wine. Coming up on the door, Hux knocked. Rey opened almost immediately, her disapproval evident. 

“Let's go.” Rey muttered. 

“Reyyyy, how’re you? Congrats on the bleeding.” Kylo blurted. Hux was waiting for her to freak out but instead she sighed.

“Shut up, drunk.” Rey scolded but her eyes were downcast. “You know where to drop him.” Rey murmured to Hux. 

“Ren, there's no way I'll be able to lug your sorry choobies up these stairs. Crawl up them yourself.” Kylo did as he was told, slowly putting one hand and foot in front of the other. “I'm sorry again for letting him drink.” She sized him up with her arms crossed around her chest. “I heard you’ve reached an important milestone in your life. Congratulations, Rey.” 

“Force, does  _ everybody _ know?” She inquired firmly. 

“I don’t know.” 

“Do you think it's why he drank so much?” Hux chewed his tongue. 

  
“Yes, but, he's proud of you. He just doesn't know how to react to it is all.” The General laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder. 


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux handles things like a mature adult. Kylo is a baby.

“He's so proud that he goes off and gets wasted. That makes so much sense.” Rey rolled her eyes and glared at the drunken mess crawling up the stairs. 

“He's just confused, Rey. Try to understand. He's a man, he doesn't know what to do in this situation.”

“And you do?” She rose an eyebrow at him. 

“I certainly am more informed on the subject matter, yes. I did teach you about the reproductive cycles of humans and some plants.” He was sure of that. Her tests scores on the topics were superb. “Have you seen your greenhouse?” Hux gestured to the door. 

“Yeah, it's huge! It's better than I thought it would be. Thank you.” She hugged his middle on instinct. He stiffened but relaxed when she let him go, patting her head uncomfortably. Kylo had made his way up the stairs and was watching the debacle with ire. 

“‘Re you done, Hux?” The General nodded and went up the stairs, pulling the larger man to his feet and dragging him into his room. 

“You're a fool, you know.” Hux grunted out as he shoved Kylo onto his bed in an ungraceful heap. “Can you even take your boots off?” Reluctantly, Hux untied Kylo’s boots and set them neatly on the floor. “Go to sleep.”

“But Rey.” Ren whined. 

“She’ll still be here when you get out of your stupor.” 

“I didn’t even drink that much.” 

“You drank enough. Sleep off your drunkenness.” Kylo began to sit himself up. “What did I literally just say, Ren?” Throwing an arm out haphazardly in the direction of his dressers, he growled.

“At least hand me my holopad so I’m not being a complete invalid.” Huffing, Hux did as he was asked and left the grumbling man to himself. He found her in the garden. Entering and leaning against the wall, he spoke. “Already working away, I see?” She looked briefly in his direction, never pausing her planting. 

“Yes. How is Ren?” 

“He’s fine, currently preoccupied. Are these the seeds of your old garden?” Rey nodded, sighing. “You know, it would be of no consequence to arrange for seeds from around the galaxy to be delivered to you. Affiliated with the Knights of Ren as you are, you should have no trouble getting  _ anything _ if you asked.” However tempting his words were she didn’t cave.

“No thanks. I very much like my quaint variety.” Hux couldn’t help but pout in displeasure. 

“The soil is imported from Naboo. It’s beautiful there. Ren should take you to see it one day.” That interested her. She’d heard and been taught of Naboo. Naboo and it’s traditions and politics. Rey liked to imagine the feel of the cool waters on her feet whenever she thought of the beautiful rivers and deep lakes. When she was younger, she was obsessed with how the Naboo had a queen. Once, she had told Kylo of her interest of perhaps doing the same thing on Moraband, but he patted her head good naturedly but dismissive of the idea all the same. 

“Thank you, Hux. I would very much like to be alone now.” 

“That is understandable. I will be sending you a congratulatory gift soon on behalf of the dawn of your womanhood.” Rey groaned. The whole idea of womanhood was a drag. “Until next time.” Hux muttered as he departed. Rey was grateful to be left alone. It felt suffocating being around everyone for so long. She’d love to be down repairing some droids instead of dealing with Ren. 

_ Why can’t you be a bit more like Hux? _ She broadcasted after thinking about his immaturity to the point she found it infuriating. 

_ What? _ He was shocked to say the least. Her statement wasn’t an expected one. 

_ Why can’t you be like Hux? You’re always so... so-- I don’t know!  _

_ So, what, Rey?  _

_ Irresponsible. Why can’t you be more responsible? You’re always doing things without thinking them through. You’re hardheaded and stubborn when you don’t need to be.  _

_ Rey, you are being very rude.  _

_ Hah! ‘Congrats on your bleeding’. You said that to me. You think that wasn’t rude? ‘Congrats on your bleeding’, woo-fracking-hoo. That’s just what I wanted to hear.  _

_ I was trying to be supportive. _

_ Well you weren’t. Why couldn’t you have handled it like Hux? He took the announcement with grace.  _ He _ didn’t go off to get wasted.  _ He _ is going to give me a congratulatory gift later.  _ Rey was seething, breathing heavy as she began to pace her garden. 

_ I’m sorry I’m not Hux. I can assure you he was also drinking. And you never asked for one, how was I supposed to know?  _

_ You’re the worst. I wish you were Hux instead. _ She expected a quick reply but received radio silence. It gave her a start to see Ben’s hulking self storm into her haven in a beeline for her. Reflexively she drew back a little like a child would before being yelled at. 

“You take that back!” He snapped at her. “You take that back right now, Rey.” After taking the second to compose herself, she glared at him in defiance. “Rey! You better say you’re sorry right this minute or I will show you how terrible I could be.” It was a semi-empty threat but she fell for it nonetheless. 

“Ragh! You're a monster.” She screamed as she shot past him. Bounding up the stairs to her room, she could hear him following. 

“Rey!” Before she could enter her room the door swung firmly shut. It was Kylo’s doing and she knew it. 

“Open my door.” Rey commanded, trying to pry it open a few times. He stood silently. 

“You are in no position to be making demands, starlight.” She groaned and rolled her eyes. 

“Stop calling me that, I'm not a baby anymore. Just open my door so I can get away from you.” 

“Why would I let you do that?” His voice adopting a cocky air as he crossed his arms, leaning forward to loom a little. 

“Forget you, I'm going to Hux.” She tried to brush by him but he snatched her by her shoulders. 

“You are doing no such thing.” 

“Watch me.” Spat like final last words, she made it to the living room before freezing. “You son of a mynock! Let me go.” 

“Not until you apologize.” 

“There's nothing to apologize for, you bantha! How can you even do this when you're drunk?” Kylo pulled over a chair to sit in front of her frozen self. 

“I'm not so inebriated that I lose control of the force. You would be able to do this too.” He gestured to her. “If you let me teach you. You used to beg for me to teach you anything. What happened?” He whispered more to himself than anything. She struggled against his hold. From his relaxed posture it seemed to be effortless to maintain. 

“Let me go. I don't want to talk to you. You're a monster. She was wrong about you.” At that, Kylos nonchalance faded with narrowed eyes. 

“Who?” Rey caught herself and decidedly didn't answer. “Who was wrong about me? Asajj, Phasma?” Her neutral expression gave nothing away. “Someone else?” She gulped. “Tell me.” 

“No, you're going to freak out again.” 

“Not if you tell the truth.” Kylo growled, shaking his leg in aggravation before throwing his arms up in the air. “Tell me who this ‘she’ is or you're going to be punished.” 

“Punish me, see if I care.” Rey smirked coldly. 

“Go to your room!” Kylo released her from his force hold and pointed an angry finger up the stairs. 

  
“Gladly.” He watched her until the door slammed shut before yelling out incoherently and kicking over his chair. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im a bit scared that my inspiration may be waning. Im currently writing chapter 47 but i dont know how long I can keep a queue up to post everyday like I have been. I may be wrapping this up soon. I may write another reylo fic, who knows. I hope you've all enjoyed my fic thus far!! :)


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asajj spills the beans.

Thoroughly ruffled by his fight with Rey, Kylo stomped out of their quarters and marched menacingly to Asajj’s which were just next door. His fist banged insistently against the door, nearly hitting her in the face when she finally opened it. 

“Ren?” Confused and surprised, she had no choice but to let him in. She closed the door quietly as she watched the man pace around her living room. 

“Asajj, she's going to kill me one of these days, I swear to gods.” He bellowed, throwing his helmet off and letting it clang on the ground after it connected to the wall. He'd put it on before storming out. 

“Who?” 

“Who do you think?” Was his answer. 

“I don’t know. Rey or your mother.” She offered, crossing her arms and cocking a hip. Like a beast, he stopped pacing and began to loom. 

“What,” he began quietly, “did you just say?” The thin layer of calm beheld his rage. “I thought I heard you say something, but I didn't quite catch it. Do you care to repeat it?” He'd obviously heard what she'd said, otherwise he wouldn't be giving her such a threatening tone. 

“I was told by Rey not to tell you. But I am sworn to you not her.” He took a step back and gave her breathing room to continue. “During the attack, General Organa,” Ben closed his eyes with a sigh before pinching the bridge of his nose and pacing once more as she continued. “General Organa divulged her private comm code to Rey. Upon departure, the General swore not to use the code for harm.”  _ So that's the ‘she’ Rey was talking about.  _

“What did she say, Organa?” 

“She told Rey that you were her son and that your parents were very much alive.” Kylo muttered a slew of obscenities under his breath. 

“Does Rey still have the code, you think?” Asajj nods. He groans, punching the wall. “This is a pile of bantha fodder.” Kylo moved to return to his quarters but Asajj stopped him to hand him his helmet. Just like the whirlwind that he was, he was out of her lodgings as fast as he came. 

“Rey!” He yelled fervently as he ran up the stairs, willing her door open with the force. He was in no mood to humor her. 

“Hey! What the hell!? Get out!” Rey exclaimed, throwing pillows at him that he easily deflected. 

“Give me the code.” Kylo demanded after she ran out of things on her bed to throw. She'd been laying on top of the blankets, thinking. 

“I don't know what you're talking about.” 

“Don't you lie to me. Asajj told me everything. Give. Me. The code.” He snarled. Rey decided to lie some more.

“I got rid of it! Oh, and you can tell Asajj that she can stick her head up your ass-- oh wait, she already is!” He flinched back slightly as if burned. 

“What's that supposed to mean!?” 

“It means that you should just marry each other already and leave me the hell alone.” She stressed. “Treacherous wench.” Rey growled under her breath, deciding never to trust the woman again. 

“What does that even mean! We're not like that. Tell me you're joking.” She just glared at the wall. “You swear you disposed of the code?” 

“I said I did, didn't I?” After her first call she flushed the flimsy down the toilet. She could remember the code. Leia had made it easy to remember. 

“When did you even-- was it when we were about to leave?” Rey said nothing but rolled her eyes. “Hey, enough with the additude.” Kylo scolded. 

“I'm going to Phasma.” Rey announced. 

“Oh no you're not. You're grounded.” 

“I don’t care. I want to go to Phasma’s. Get out of my way, you big lumbering oaf.” Rey pushed his stomach with both hands and only managed to push him two feet. He made a move to grab her but she feinted. 

  
“Rey! Get back here. If you're not back in your room in ten seconds--” She was already running down the hall. It took a pitiful amount of effort for him not to slice her bed in half with his saber in anger. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having fun writing future chapters right now. I feel mischievous. Again, comments are fuel and show you care! Thank you to those who comment frequently, I love y'all.


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn!

“Rey, I didn't expect your company again so soon.” Phasma said. “To whom do I owe the pleasure?” 

“I got into a fight with Ren.” 

“Oh.” The Captain was overseeing the hands on part of the stormtrooper curriculum. “Correct your stance, RF-3154!” 

“What are they doing?” 

“Standard drills.” 

“How old are they?”

“About sixteen.” 

“I told Ren to marry Asajj already.” 

“You're still on about that, love?” Phasma asked. Rey answered by not answering and crossing her arms. “How bad was your fight?” 

“If he hasn't completely destroyed my new bedroom already, I'll be pleasantly surprised.” 

“That bad, huh?” Phasma patted Rey on the shoulder. “ZT-1630, protect your flank! Rey, why don't you go over there and sit.” She gestured to a long bench where many people were sitting but there was enough room for her, so she sat. The quiet conversations halted at her approach. Rey watched as a trainee was pinned to the ground by another with a smack. She flinched. It looked like it hurt. The loser of the match took a seat beside her in the space the others had afforded her. The boy had dark skin, like Sifo-Dyas Ren had way back when. She still had no idea what happened to them. He was sweaty and breathing heavy. 

“That looked like it hurt.” She offered. He turned his head at her as if only just then realizing she was beside him and nodded. “What's your name?” 

“FN-2187, and you? You seem a little young to be here.” FN-2187 was kind by the sound of his voice and joking demeanor. 

“I'm Rey.” He narrowed his brown eyes and flinched. She sighed, knowing her title of Kylo Ren’s youngling tended to evoke such a reaction. 

“I apologize for my indiscretion, My Lady.” 

“Don't apologize. Unlike Ren, I don't care much for being above others. Just call me Rey.” 

“Right.” He was clearly uncomfortable, noticing now how everyone else seemed to be avoiding her. “May I ask why you are here?” She nodded. 

“I got into a fight with Kylo. He's a laserbrained bantha. He thinks he can control me like I'm some slave.” FN-2187 visibly took in a sharp breath. 

“Does the Captain know you're in here?”

“You mean Phasmom? She told me to sit over here. Why?” He shrugged, wiping sweat from his brow. Together they watched the others train. “FN-2187, do you have a nickname or somethin’ because it's a mouthful.” 

“No.” 

“That's weird. I heard stormtroopers had informal names they call each other.”

“They do; I don't.” 

“Can I call you Finn? Y’know, from FN?” He seemed extremely flattered for being given a nickname. He gave her a toothy grin. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that.” She beamed back at him, pleased that he liked it. 

“I should get going. I'll see ya around, Finn.” Finn muttered a goodbye before he returned to training. He was in a starkly different mood. 

\----- 

“Finn!” The newly appointed sanitation trooper turned to the friendly voice and waved. Rey was standing beside Kylo and the other higher ups at the end of training ceremony. Rey was now fourteen and growing into herself. Finn was eighteen years old and Kylo was twenty-five. Finn had come to know not to address her in any familiar sense in front of the Master of the Knights of Ren, though there were only two. At Rey's exclamation, Finn could see the imposing man turn his helmet from her to Finn, flexing his knuckles in the process.  _ Yikes. _ Rey didn't seem to notice or at least not care. 

The mirthless celebration concluded with a rousing speech from General Hux. Finn and the other new stormtroopers filed out of the assembly room in military synchronization. Finn was pulled aside from the rest by the arm. 

“Rey!” He managed to say. He was surprised she knew it was him behind the stormtrooper helmet. 

“Congratulations, Finn.” She wrapped her arms around his neck in a tight hug. 

“Thank you. Wait, where's Ren?” He undid the hug without offending her, for she knew the reason. 

“Back talking with Hux and Phasma about something.” She pointed behind them with her thumb before playfully shoving his armor. “Newest sanitation trooper, quite the illustrious title.” He rolled his eyes and cocked his head at her joke.

“Well if it keeps me out of the line of fire, it's a title I will bear with pride.” Finn was only half kidding. They laughed together nonetheless.

“Rey, who is this?” Her guardian inquired suspiciously, pulling her to himself by the arm. Kylo came as if he materialized out of thin air. Rey yanked herself free with a warning look before introducing them. “A lowly trooper. Rey, you're better than this rabble. Is this the reason you insisted on coming along today?” 

“Yes, and he's my friend. Stop being so rude.” This was apparently the wrong thing to say. Shoving Rey away, Kylo held up a hand. To Finn, it felt as if he were being strangled. 

“Stay away from her, do you hear me?” Kylo grinded out before releasing the man. Finn choked as the air rushed back to his lungs. Before either of them could say anything, Rey shoved Kylo hard in the chest multiple times. Kylo was pushed back several feet as she pushed him.

“Get away from him! I can't believe you!” She roared, putting some space between the two males. “Finn, I am so sorry.” 

“No, no, it's not your fault. Don't worry about it.” He waved as if to motion that it was nothing. 

“And you.” Rey bellowed, casting aspersions to the guilty party. “You are the most vile. Because of you, I can't have any friends! You-- you-- you kriffing asshole!” She stormed off with a huff. 

“This isn't over, buckethead.” Kylo growled before pursuing his ward. Finn had only just caught his breath when he was abruptly left alone for all of two seconds. 

“That was quite the unwarranted display of power, wouldn’t you agree?” Finn snapped his head to the dry voice, saluting after identifying the speaker. 

“General.” 

“At ease. Despite what you may assume about Ren and I, we have differing philosophies.” Finn had overheard that the General was like a second parental figure for his friend. “Ren would like for her to remain insular but I believe that she needs to widen her horizons to accel in this world. Do you see what I'm getting at? What is your designation?”

“FN-2187, sir.”

“Field, patrol, or what?” 

“Sanitation, sir.” 

“Sanitation.”

“Yes, sir.” Both men were silent. “Sir?” 

“I'll have you assigned to the upper quarters so you will be able to converse with Rey. Poor girl is all alone. I assume you have no qualms?”

“What of Kylo Ren?” 

  
“I will have him informed. You may be jostled but you will live, do not worry.”  _ How reassuring. _


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia plays devil's advocate.

Kylo followed her all the way back to their shared quarters. 

“Rey, Sweetheart.” He tried, taking off his helmet. 

“Don’t call me that and leave me alone. I can't believe you.” Rey crossed her arms and sneered. “I'm going to my room and you better not follow me, you jerk.” 

“Alright, but if I see you with that trooper again there will be hell to pay.” 

“Screw you.” She blurted from atop the stairs. 

“That’s it, you're grounded. Go to your room!” Kylo bellowed so she could hear him clearly. She'd shut herself in her room but opened the door to yell back.

“I'm already in my room!” Rey slammed her door shut again and threw herself onto her bed to scream into the pillows. She could hear Kylo roar. It was a wonder he never broke everything in their quarters. His agony brought a vengeful smile to her face. She decided to call Leia. 

“Hello, dear. You haven’t called in a while.” Leia’s comforting voice was nice. 

“Yeah, sorry about that. Ben was being a surveillance system.” Kylo had been around every corner wherever she went. “You won’t believe what he just did.” 

“Oh? Try me, honey. I've heard everything.” Leia purred. 

“We went to oversee the newest batch of stormtroopers and my friend was in it. I congratulated my friend and Ben comes out of nowhere and starts choking him. Can you believe it?” She was thoroughly exasperated. 

“Is your friend alright? I think you've told me before that his name was Finn.” Rey nodded. “From Ben's perspective, do you think he could have read the situation differently?”  _ Always the devil's advocate. _

“I don't see how. He's just so controlling.” 

“Do you think, perhaps, Ben thought you were romantically involved with Finn?” 

“What? No, that's impossible. We're friends.” Rey all but spat. Leia shrugged. 

“I wouldn't rule the idea out if Ben's involved. You're still his little girl and he sees you as such.” Rey groaned and threw herself back on her pillows. “I still see him as my little boy after all these years and that will never change.” 

“Finn is my only friend. I've kept him a secret from Ben for so long. He's probably going to be assigned to the farthest parts of the ship. I'll never see him again.” There was true fear in her small voice. Leia wished she could be there to comfort her more effectively. 

“You know, my offer to pick you up is still available.” She sounded hopeful. 

“No, I can't leave yet. Maybe one day.” Rey said after thinking it over. Leia nodded in acceptance. “I should go before he comes up here.” 

“Well, thank you for sharing with me. I wish I could take Ben by the ear and punish him myself sometimes.” The aging woman sighed wistfully. “I should also get going, I have a meeting to attend shortly.”

“That sounds fun.” Rey murmured humorously. Leia rolled her eyes with a smile. 

“Yes, negotiations with the Hutts. Very fun.” Rey muttered a quick yikes and they bid each other farewell. 

Rey laid there in bed, thinking and not quite daydreaming. Once upon a time, Ben had told her they would explore the galaxy together. The only things she's explored have been the base on Moraband and the bowels of the  _ Finalizer.  _ She was bitter about that. 

A soft knocking at her door. With a swipe of her hand it unlocked and allowed it to be opened. 

“Rey?” Kylo tentatively poked his head in. 

“Yes?” He shifted uncomfortably on the balls of his feet, not daring to intrude.

“May I come in?” 

“Sure.” Kylo took light steps into the center of the room. She watched him, not once taking her eyes off him. 

“It has come to my attention that your ‘friend’ has been assigned to our wing.” He held back a snort of disgust, having been surprised by how quickly she sat up in bed. He frowned at her obvious favor. 

“That's great. You... you won't try to hurt him again will you?” Kylo felt like clocking Hux in the nose for making such arrangements behind his back. At his lack of verbal response she narrowed her eyes in warning. “Kylo--”

“You never call me Ben anymore.” Ren noted. “Why is that?” 

“Because you're not Ben anymore, you're Kylo Ren.” His brows furrowed and his frown deepened. She mimicked his expression. “Ben would never choke my friends.” Rey elaborated, defiantly raising her head up. A minute scowl faded to practiced neutrality. 

“You're right, starlight. Dinner will be ready in half an hour.” He left the door open upon his departure. Rey growled in frustration as she got out of bed to shut it. Her half constructed droid lay in the corner. It was small and made of bent shrapnel discarded from broken x-wings. She'd managed to shape the metal into a cylinder that contained the most important parts. She'd christened it QT-2. It still needed vital pieces like an eyepiece, antenna, motherboard and such. Sitting herself down beside the unfinished droid, Rey got to work on making more connections and bolstering wires. She grew engrossed in her project, hardly registering Kylo entering her room until he shook her shoulder lightly. She wasn't startled or scared, it did pull her out of her concentration though. “Dinner's ready, come eat.” He held his hand out for her to take and she took it. 

“What is it?” She inquired. 

“The usual grub.” He murmured as he followed her to the kitchen. When Kylo wasn't away on a mission, he made a point of having dinner with Rey. It was just something he felt was important. 

“When's your next assignment?” Rey asked after they were both about halfway through their meal.

“Two days from now.” Was his eventual reply.

“Is Asajj going to--” 

“No.” Kylo remarked, knowing what she was going to ask. “She has her own task on Endor, something about a revolt there.” 

“How long will you be gone?” 

“Three cycles, give or take.” She took a measured breath. Despite how much that fought, she still didn't like the idea of him being away. It was one of those things that never sat right with her.


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! It's Anakin!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A decided to do a little addition to prolong the story. Yay.

They finished their meal without another word and Rey returned to her room without a second glance to her guardian. She was alone, except that she wasn’t. On her bed was some man, tossing her ewok plushie in the air. She’d never seen him before, except that she had. In her history holos Hux had her read. 

“Anakin Skywalker?” She tried cautiously, drawing back when he sat up instantly and beamed at her. 

“Rey, you’ve finished eating! Welcome back, come sit down.” The excited ephemeral man crossed his legs and patted the area in front of him. Rey cast one last glance to the door before cautiously walking over. 

“You’re dead. Are you a hologram? Where’s the holocron?” She walked around her bed, even looking under it for a source. There was none. 

“Did Ben not tell you about force ghosts?” Once again, he patted the area in front of him unfazed by her wariness. “How is he, my grandson?” 

“This is one weird hallucination.” Rey muttered, holding her head and shaking it as if it would dispel the partially see through man on her bed. “There must have been something in the food.” 

“I assure you, you were not drugged nor are you otherwise hallucinating. Now, come sit, stubborn girl.” Anakin sighed. He looked handsome, she could tell that much. His hair was long, much like in the history holos later chapters. 

“You’re really Anakin Skywalker aren’t you?” 

“Who else would I be?” He rose an eyebrow. “I didn’t have this much trouble with Ben.” He muttered under his breath. She caught it, taking her seat in front of him. 

“You talk to Ben? He goes by Kylo Ren now. He’s the Master of the Knights of Ren, though there are only two of them including himself. I don’t know what happened to the others.” She found herself rambling and shut her mouth. Anakin’s carefree aura was disrupted by scrunched brows and a far off expression. Rey felt as if she had said something wrong and was about to apologize when he spoke again. 

“I once appeared to Ben when he was your age, I haven’t since. This development of his was bound to happen.” He let out a huff. “I must go, I have to consult with Obi-Wan about this.”

“Who’s Obi-Wan?” Her genuine ignorance astounded him and he found that he couldn’t even joke about it. She squirmed under his unintentionally intense stare. “My history holos never mentioned an Obi-Wan, forgive me for not knowing who that is.” 

“Obi-Wan was your biological grandfather.” The idea that she hadn’t been told of her heritage blew his mind. He’d have to yell at his son later. Rey felt her chest constrict as if she had been thrown into space, words failed her for a moment.  _ A real grandparent? _ Anakin let her digest the information patiently. “I’m surprised they omitted him for all of his accomplishments.” He crossed his arms gruffly.  

“Wh-Who was he? What did he do?” Rey tried to contain her amazement but was failing miserably. Anakin smiled softly.

“He was my master, he never gave up on me even when I was too far gone.” Somehow, her eyes managed to widen even further as she let out a slight squeal. “And Luke's.” Her excitement deflated at the mention of the Last Jedi and changed to disgust. 

“Where is he, the slimeball?” She inquired firmly, remembering Kylo’s quest to find him.

“That is my son you're talking about. Watch your mouth, Rey. I was made to swear not to reveal his location and I will stick to my word.” Anakin scolded tersely. “Why do you call him that?” He couldn't help his curiosity. To him, his son was wonderful and the idea that someone in the family was insulting him was scandalous. 

“Kylo told me that he abandoned the Academy and hid himself away because he can't handle responsibilities. I was too young to remember much of the Academy but Kylo was old enough to remember and he told me that Luke was weak.” Rey was wary. 

“Oh, what a misguided young lad.” Anakin shook his head with a chortle. “I'm guessing he never told you what actually happened.” He piqued her curiosity. “The night that you left the Academy, Ben destroyed all Luke had accomplished.” 

“What do you mean? What are you trying to say?” She couldn’t help but grow defensive. Anakin looked at her pitifully for some time before speaking. 

“The night of Prime Day, the sixth of the first month, Eighteen ABY, Ben Organa-Solo led six unknown assailants to the newly established Jedi Academy and left no survivors.” She rose from the bed and put distance between them both, feeling confused rage. 

“That can't be true. Yes, he didn't like the place but he would never--” Rey couldn’t bring herself to say the words. 

“You may not like it, but it is the truth. My son was so devastated that he exiled himself out of shame, not because he was weak.” Rey paced her bedroom in denial.  _ It can't be true.  _

“That isn't true, you're a liar! Get out of my room.” He conceded sagely.

  
“Alright, but I'll be back. You can't deny the truth.” He blinked out of existence before her eyes. She ground the butts of her palms into her eye sockets and looked back at the now empty bed. Her first instinct should have been to fact check with Kylo but she chose instead to frantically call Leia. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love and good vibes! <3


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia does what grandma do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the late posting. I got tomodachi life yesterday and lemme tell u haha. Rey rejected Hux and Finn and Palpatine are besties. Weird shit man.

“Yes, dear. I'm afraid what you were told is.” Leia breathed mournfully.

“But why?” Rey managed to grind out, holding back tears. Leia's heart ached for her. 

“I don't know why he did it. Only he knows that. But what you were told was true. Who told you?” Rey hadn't mentioned her source. 

“Anakin.” Leia seemed to have a bitter taste in her mouth and steeled at the name. She'd never forgiven Darth Vader for his crimes, even if he was her biological father. He killed the man who would be her father, Bail Organa.  _ Oily bastard _ , Leia thought but quickly buried it. 

“I see. Did he mention Luke's whereabouts? I'm sure he would know, being the all powerful being that he is.” Leia spat with a roll of her eyes. Whoop-didoo, Anakin was the strongest Jedi, highest level of midichlorians ever, force born bastard. Leia held the man in poor regard. 

“No, he basically said he was sworn to secrecy. He said he'd be back, though. I don't know when.” Leia sighed. There was a lull in the conversation. “You never said who Ben's father was.” Leia’s eyes lit up but there was a melancholy to them. 

“Ben's father is a troublesome nerfherder. He's my husband and a he's a scoundrel. I think he's an adrenaline junky, to be brutally honest.” The General smiled distantly. “His name is Han Solo.” 

“Han Solo the smuggler? Ben said he had no relation.” To that, Leia sighed and looked down at her hands. 

“Han and Ben never really saw eye to eye. Han never believed in the Force and therefore dismissed Ben when ever he showed his sensitivity. Han called it our ‘hokey religion’.” She seemed to have more to say so Rey waited patiently. Leia resumed with a reminiscent smile. “We used to fly around on his ship sometimes after Ben was born but we stopped when he grew older. I had my responsibilities as a politician and Han didn't like staying put. He was gone more often than not, and when he was home we fought over the stupidest of things. I remember arguing over what to eat for dinner one night that resulted with him flying off. Thinking back, I feel really bad about how it effected Ben seeing his parents fight all the time. Thank the force Chewie took Ben away each time things got really bad. We were both not ready to be parents and I suppose that is evident even now. 

“I tried to be a good mother, I really did. But when restoring the Republic came to pass, I was a leader first and foremost. Han tried to stay for a while and he did but he was never comfortable. Him and Chewbacca were and still are inseparable. Chewbacca is Hans Wookiee best friend. Han tried to convince me to run away with him, to do what he wanted.” She shook her head sharply before continuing. “That was when he started leaving. 

“Nowadays I catch myself wondering how different things would be if Han and I were better parents. We never put Ben first. The galaxy came first for me. The  _ Millenium Falcon _ came first for Han. I love Ben dearly and I wish I could have shown it more than I did. I wish I made him feel loved and appreciated. I wish Han tried more to understand. 

“Would Ben be a Jedi? Would Ben be growing up to join me in politics? Would he choose to follow his father's footsteps? We should have let him choose instead of making decisions for him. I recall the day we dropped Ben off at the Academy. It was not long after his tenth birthday and he was already tall for his age. He was scared and anxious and didn’t want to be apart from me. Han was so cruel to him that day. He told Ben to man up and that he didn't raise a sissy. I should have said something but I didn't. I regret it. Ben was hurt but I didn't think he'd do what he did, that he'd latch onto that disapproval. I blame myself for what happened at Luke's Academy. If it wasn't for me, it would still be there. My brother wouldn't have gone to exile. My son would still be with me, fighting the good fight. The First Order wouldn't be as strong. 

“Rey, make sure that you don't have any regrets when you get older. Do what you want with your life. Don’t let Ben, Vader, or myself to decide your path in life. What we say might be with good intentions, but sometimes we go about it in the wrong way. I sure know I did. We only wish the best for you, sweetheart. You're a strong girl, Rey. You're the master of your own destiny. Don't make the same mistakes we did.” Rey wasn't expecting a life lesson but she should have expected it. She listened attentively, drinking in every word. Despite being on the other side of the war, Rey respected Leia. There was something about her that demanded to be revered. It wasn't the same domineering ego Kylo had, it was a righteous integrity. Leia's actions backed up her words and Rey respected that tremendously. Leia never said anything to her that didn't add up. Rey nodded solemnly. Leia huffed good naturedly. 

“Look at me, rambling on like some old space coot.” Rey panicked a little, feeling as if Leia was wrapping up. 

“No! No, you’re fine. You're not rambling at all. I like hearing stories about Ben and... the truth.” Rey admitted. Leia was touched. “Oh! I almost forgot to mention that Anakin told me who my biological grandfather was.” The General’s interest was prevalent by the way she seemed to lean forward. 

“Do tell. I'm sure you're excited about that. I'm happy for you but I would take what  _ Vader _ says with a grain of salt, dear.” 

“Well he said his name was Obi-Wan Kenobi and that he was his master. He also said he was Luke's.” Rey's ecstatic elation dimmed at Leia's reaction. The older woman seemed almost angry. 

“Rey, I'm afraid that isn't possible. Obi-Wan was a Jedi and a very famous one at that. Jedi cannot have children or even marry. Obi-Wan was a strict follower of the Jedi Code even after going into hiding. I just don't see how it's possible, sweetheart. I think he was lying to you.” Rey sat pouting, neither speaking. 

“Anakin had a wife and you're proof he had children. Why would Obi-Wan not?” 

“Your logic is quite convincing but I can't think of Obi-Wan having any opportunities for having a family, and might I remind you that what Anakin did was strictly forbidden.” Leia spoke diplomatically. 

“Why can't Jedi have families?” It was a good question but Leia didn't know the exact answer so she shrugged. 

  
“You'll have to ask Vader the next time he visits.” 


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin gives some droid pointers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont have extensive knowledge of droid parts and how they work. Forgive me.

It was a cycle before Anakin appeared again and at the most inopportune moment. Rey was stepping out of the fresher wrapped in a towel. He was fiddling with her droid with his back to her. 

“Oh karking hell! You scared the force outta me. What are you doing here?” Rey exclaimed, clinging to the wall. Her hair was wet and dripping. “What if Kylo sees you?” Thankfully, Anakin didn't turn around and continued busying himself with her incomplete project. 

“Stop freaking out and grab something to put on in the fresher so I can talk to you about this droid.” He waved a hand behind him and a drawer slid open for her. She scrambled to collect the necessary clothes before retreating to the fresher once more. The reflector betrayed her, showing plainly her embarrassment in the reddening of her cheeks. She tried to regulate her breathing to rid herself of it. It was the most indecent she'd been in the presence of the opposite gender and she found herself quite flustered. She dried her hair a bit better and brushed her fingers through it to work out the bigger knots before entering her room again. “Are you decent?” He asked with no real intonation and without turning away from the droid. 

“Yes.” Her stomach was flopping around in her stomach and she didn't know why. She slung an arm across her chest and gripped her forearm with her hand. 

“Good, now come ‘ere.” Anakin waited for her to step forward but when she didn't he swiveled his upper body to look at her. She froze. “Come sit, I have some pointers for you.” As if reading her mind he continued. “We can talk about what's bothering you while we work.” It was as if he was attempting to bait her into buying a product like a merchant would harass a potential buyer. Rey feigned aloofness as she sat beside him, feeling poised to run for some reason. The wiser man began to list improvements and modifications she could make or add. “...thermoscan vindicator-- Are you paying attention?” Rey jolted, not realizing she had been staring. Despite being partially see through, she could see how his aspectabund face changed as he spoke. He seemed to have a permanent crease in his brow, she noted. Seemingly deciding to work on it himself and explain as he worked, he held his hand out to her. “Hey, hand me your turboscrew driver if you have one.” 

“I, uh, sure. Here it is.” She scrambled inelegantly to hand him it. It puzzled her as to how he could manipulate objects in this form. She had to make a conscious effort to pay attention and not get caught staring. Thankfully, she'd put away her holos about her guest that she'd borrowed from the onboard archive on the  _ Finalizer _ . Since his last visit, she'd been consumed by a need to read up and have a refresher course about his life. Kylo had found her little obsession a good thing, glad that she was so interested in his family. He'd even recommended which holos were his favorites. Leia had been proven biased and unwilling to share the encounters they'd had. All mentions of Alderaan were basically taboo to talk about except for the rare story Leia cared to share. 

“It looks a bit like R2D2.” He realized with a slight pout. “He's probably an old relic by now.” 

“Leia mentioned that she had an R-something on base that's been on low-power for years. She said it just sits there completely unresponsive.” 

“That's a shame, did she ever speak of a C3PO?”

“I've seen him a few times, yeah. He's really anxious for a droid. What about him?” 

“I was his maker, so I was wondering if he was still around.” 

“Oh.” He busied himself with the ghostly hem of his tunic. “Why make him so jittery and overbearing?”

“Well I made him for my mother and I had to do what I could with thrown away, outdated tech. Growing up on that force forsaken hell hole necessitated him. To withstand the sand and grit, I built him durable. I think I did pretty good building him at such a young age.” Anakin flashed her a killer smile and she held her breath at the sight. Kylo never really smiled anymore so she was a little surprised. The ghostly man stared distantly as if he were recalling good times. “Your droid, does it have a name?” 

“QT-2.” He tilted his head approvingly. 

“My mother told me to always care and take responsibility for droids if I made them. I extend that advice to you. You shouldn't finish QT-2 unless you are prepared to service it and listen to it for the rest of its ‘life’.” 

“I've read about what happened to her, your mother. I can't imagine what she had to go through.” He stiffened. 

“I'd rather not talk about it. You probably have questions you need answers to. Now is the time to ask-- but not about that.” He gave a decisive shake of his head and gave her time to organize her thoughts. 

“Why did you marry?” He snorted. 

“Why does anyone marry?” Anakin asked in response. 

“You were a Jedi. Jedi were forbidden to do that.” She couldn’t find the rhyme or reason for his blatant deviation from Jedi ideals. 

“I always was a special case. I was brought to the Jedi Council past the cut off age for younglings. Master Yoda sensed a lot of fear in me and forbid my training. It wasn’t until Qui-Gon died that he changed his mind.”

“Master Qui-Gon Jinn found you on Tatooine.” 

“Yes. He was also Obi-Wan's, your grandfather's, master. He was going to train me but his life was cut short before he got the chance. He was a great man, Qui-Gon. I owe him everything. I would have lived the rest of my life on that sandy hell.” He contorted his face as if he caught a whiff of bantha dung. 

“You didn't answer my question, Anakin.”

  
“I was getting there. Have patience, it’s a good thing to have for a reason.” He chided, very much like Obi-Wan scolded him long ago. “The story of Padmé and I is a long one so you better hunker down before I begin.” His eyes were warm with the thought of his beloved. Rey felt a twinge of envy. 


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey doesn't have the patience for the Jedi way of story telling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've written up to chapter 54. I need to write more...

“Padmé, how do I begin to describe her? Angelic? Intelligent? She's too much for labels. Padmé was there when Qui-Gon found me. Even at such a young age I found her the prettiest thing I've ever seen. I dreamed about her for ten long years after we had to part ways. I dreamed of her every night. When Obi-Wan and I were assigned to protect her after an assassination attempt--”

“Why would someone try to kill her?” Rey interrupted before he continued. He regarded her as if she'd grown two heads. 

“She was a senator. A rather popular senator because she used to be the beloved queen of Naboo. She was born for politics and people didn't like her sway. Anyway, when Obi-Wan and I were assigned to be her protectors she hadn't aged a day. I remember being so nervous and Obi-Wan scolding me. You may not believe it, but even with my dashing good looks, I had trouble wooing her in the beginning. She only saw me as that little boy from Tatooine. That eventually changed of course.” He winked at her with a meek laugh. 

“You still haven't told me why you married her.” 

“I'm getting there. Do they not teach patience here?” Rey had the decency to look guilt. “Padmé didn't want to marry at first. She was smarter than I. She knew that keeping it a secret would tear us apart. The Jedi Order would banish me to the far reaches of the galaxy for all we knew. Even still, I wanted to take that chance. I loved her and I knew there would be no changing that. 

“We married on Naboo, the witnesses being R2 and C3PO. We were happy. We were stupidly in love. The Jedi Council finding out was nothing if I had her by my side. We could have ruled the galaxy, her and I. Does that answer your question?” She shrugged.

“I guess, but you also created more than you answered.” Anakin had to laugh at that and muttered something about the Jedi way of explaining things. “What about Obi-Wan? He was a Jedi and yet he is my grandfather. How does that happen?” He could only raise his shoulders. 

“Hell if I know. I was too wrapped up on my own life to bother keeping tabs on his. I only know you're his descendant because he told me. I don't think he appreciated my telling you, though. He has an infallible reputation to uphold.” 

“Why hasn't he visited me?” Her voice was quiet. If Anakin could manifest, Obi-Wan could as well. Ben's grandfather visited her more than her own. It didn't sit right with her, but she did appreciate Anakin's company. He wasn't completely troublesome. She was fiddling with her drying hair as if it was the most intriguing thing. She couldn’t see Anakin's pitying frown. He suddenly rose to his feet with a gentle grunt, startling her. 

“Who's your master, Rey? Is it Ben?” He stepped to the middle of the room and stretched. Rey followed suit but stood watching instead of joining in on his stretching. 

“I don’t know.” He stopped and stood akimbo. 

“What do you mean you don’t know? Who's teaching you how to use the force?” 

“No one. I mostly use the force when I'm too lazy to do things myself like open my door or fetch a holo. Ben offered not too long ago to teach me some defensive stuff but he was being a bother so I said no.” Anakin shifted on his feet. 

“He definitely isn't the best role model but I'm sure he meant well.” It was her turn to stand defiantly, mimicking his stance irately. He peered down at her questioningly, raising an eyebrow. 

“Why does everyone take his side? Only Hux agrees with me and that's just because he doesn't like Ben. No one cares about what I think and what I want to do. Everyone thinks I'm a child. I'm fourteen and can handle myself.” Anakin pouted mockingly at her after rolling his eyes. 

“Oh no, I'm Rey. Woe is me. Ben is a tyrant. No one understands me. I, a fourteen year old girl, knows what is best. I, with no real world experience, don’t need to learn how to best protect myself.” She scrunched her face up in offense. “What you don't like that? That's all I hear right now, Rey. I hear a whiney little baby. Maybe you should-- hey! Where are you going? I wasn’t done berating you.” Rey was heading towards her door but he overpowered her meager use of the force to will the door open with his own. He locked it, reveling in her consternation. 

“For Force’s sake-- are you five?” She hissed. He just laughed. She would have blushed if she weren't so affronted by his behavior. 

“No, I'm an ex-Jedi, ex-Sithlord who's taken a liking to you. It just so happens that you don't have a teacher and I sure don't have a padawan in the afterlife.” 

“Are you insane?” She began to pace, arms across her chest, shaking her head. 

“Maybe, but I don't see any other force sensitive beside Ben in your life. Wouldn't you like to one up him? I can teach you things he never learned because he abandoned his Jedi studies.” He was trying to convince her and she was combating herself over the offer. The prospect of rubbing her studies in Kylo’s face was alluring but she didn't want to be a Jedi. 

“Your teaching won't force me to be a Jedi, will it?” She voiced her main concern. 

“Not if you don't want to be, I can show you the basics. If that's how it's going to be, you won't be proving much to Ben.”

“Will I be a darksider or aligned in the lightside?” 

“That's your choice. I can teach you either path. Makes no difference to me. Obi-Wan might disagree.” She studied him for a moment before sticking out her hand for him to take. He smirked triumphantly and shook her tinier hand. 

  
“When can we begin?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sago, you are the best with your long comments. I love reading them.


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is flustered and Ren is terrified.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God bless you all.

Despite how Anakin presented himself, he proved to be a slavedriver. More than once, she’s had to lie to Finn about the bruises randomly flowering her porcelain skin. Even Kylo was growing worried about her spending so much time in her room but Hux had told him that that was to be expected. After a while, Anakin afforded her one day to rest. She spent it lying on the couch with her legs dangling over the edge. 

“Well, well, well. Look who’s out of their room.” An all too familiar feminine voice teased, causing Rey to sit up and roll her eyes with a glare. 

“Look who hasn’t married Kylo yet. Hurry up and pop the question, I want siblings. Chop, chop, Asajj.” To her chagrin, Asajj howled with laughter. 

“What’s going on?” Kylo called from the top of the steps. “Oh, Rey, I didn’t see you there.” He said harmlessly. 

  
“Sorry I’m so small.” Rey scowled. 

“That’s not what I meant.” 

“Rey was just telling me to hurry up and produce siblings.” Asajj breathed as she stopped laughing. Kylo shot Rey a look of strong disapproval.

“Rey, that’s rude. Apologize.” 

“I won’t apologize for the truth. She’s untrustworthy. Why else would you keep her around?” Rey sneered, heading back to her room. “This is why I stay in my room. Nobody berates me there.” She paused halfway up the stairs and turned. “Snoke sending you on another mission?” 

“Yes.” Kylo answered. 

“Good, there’ll finally be some quiet around here.” She whispered loud enough for him to hear. She hoped it hurt. Unsurprisingly, her mentor was lounging on her bed reading her holos. Rey’d yelled at him before about it but he continued undeterred. He didn’t look up at her entry. Rey groaned and plopped down beside him with her face in the blankets. 

“You alright there?” 

“No.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“I’ll be right here if you change your mind, then.” It was only a few minutes before she opened her mouth again. 

“Grown ups are so stupid.” 

“You’re talking to a grown up.” She lifted her head at that and sized him up.

“You’re hardly an adult.”

“Fair enough.” 

_ Stupid grown ups, thinking they’re better than me. I’m the Jedi padawan of one of the strongest Jedi to ever exist. I’m not some defenseless whelp. I don’t need them to protect me.  _ She wasn’t the best at guarding her thoughts and Anakin overheard some snippets unintentionally.  _ Stupid bantha Kylo, he’s not even my father! Kylo and Asajj Ren, that sounds perfect. Kylo and Rey, not so much. What even am I to him? His child, his friend, his  _ pet? _ Kylo is in no way my friend. He’s too much of a whiney overbearing stepfather type figure. That fits him perfectly.  _ Anakin snickered and she was drawn out of her thoughts by the sound.

“What’s so funny?” 

“Oh, nothing. You just remind me so much of myself at times.” She sat up and smacked his ghostly arm in annoyance.  

“You’d get along well with Padmé.” She deflated a bit at the mention, for some reason Rey didn’t like when Anakin talked about her. His bright smile was what made it tolerable. 

\-----

“What did I say wrong?” Kylo beseechingly asked his second in command as they were heading to the hangar. Asajj knew he was stewing and was waiting for him to bring it up. 

“Remember what I said a while ago about her having a crush on you? She’s at that time in her life where she’s beginning to be interested in boys. I think she’s wrongfully jealous.” Asajj rationalized plainly. Kylo could only pout because she was right. If he could control it, Rey would always be that little curious four year old that he remembered.  _ Boys...  _ He had an epiphany that made his stomach coil and he had to reach out and grab Asajj’s arm for support. 

“She has this friend. It’s a male. Asajj-- do you think?” 

“Who knows Kylo. Maybe she likes girls.” He hadn’t thought about that possibility. Asajj moved them along and he didn’t speak again until they were aboard his Upsilon. 

“I have to order all personnel to avoid her. I have to talk to Phasma about reconditioning all the troopers aboard. I have to--”

“Don’t you think you’re going a bit overboard?” He turned his helmet to face her, it hid is appalled expression. 

“This is Rey’s chastity we’re talking about. What kind of protector doesn’t want to protect her virtue!?” 

“She’s fourteen, Ren. She won’t be fornicating any time soon.”

“You yourself said to be prepared. Well, I’m going to be preparing.”

“Have you consulted the General about this?” 

  
“I don’t need that dirt general’s permission to set precautions. I’ll do the protecting, Asajj. When we get back, of course.” 


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey introduces Leia to Finn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing chapter 55 and have writers block, shite.

Rey was quick on picking up the basic skills Anakin taught her. He’d allowed her to start practicing forms. They alternated between that and meditating in Rey’s growing garden. She enjoyed the loamy scent and the feel of life all around her. Anakin was right about what he told Ben when she was four. Kylo was on a longer than usual mission, gone for a little over a month. Rey began to miss him after the third cycle but Anakin hadn’t given her much time to dwell on it between sparring sessions. She’d ended up on her rear more times than she’d care to remember but it didn’t deter her from getting up and trying again. A few sessions passed before Anakin had her use a staff to ‘change things up’. In reality, it was because she was shoddy with a saber. Much to his relief, she was proving to be better suited for a staff. The forms she was struggling with were easily mastered once she had the right weapon. Anakin was proud of her progress, but tried to remain stoic and not share in her elation when catching on to a skill. He was failing miserably at that and often had to clear his throat and adopt a stalwart work ethic to compensate. He couldn’t let her become arrogant of her newfound abilities as he had. It was one nondescript day when Finn found her talking to herself in her room.

“Rey? Are you alright?” Finn asked timidly, thinking Kylo may be near even though he was off on a mission. She gasped and looked at the air and back to him. “Is there a bug?” Finn took steps into the room with his equipment. 

“Oh! No, there’s no pest. I’m fine, just having a healthy conversation with myself.” Finn nodded slowly after removing his helmet and setting it aside. Rey kept looking away at something but there was nothing there but a dresser and a chrono on the wall. 

“I know Captain Phasma has been keeping tabs on you, making sure you’re alright, but  _ are _ you alright?” Rey looked at him and cleared her throat, setting aside the training staff she’d snatched a while ago. “What’s that?” Her friend gestured to the poorly hidden staff. She sighed. 

“Finn, this is a secret between the two of us, okay? You can’t tell anyone that I have this.” Rey pointed to the staff she was shoving under her bed. Finn was lost.

“Where did you get it?  _ Why _ did you get it?” He furrowed his brow and measured her up questioningly. 

“The Knights reserved training room. Listen, it doesn’t matter. I have something exciting to tell you.  Come, take a seat.” He did as he was told and sat at the edge of her bed. “First, promise me you won’t tell anyone and that you won’t freak out.” He shook his head in confirmation. Finn would never betray the trust of his first true friend, even if she told him something treasonous. She pulled her holotransceiver out and turned it on, facing away from him and pointed to herself. “Gram, sorry for interrupting your report but there’s someone I want you to meet. He’s my best friend and you know him as Finn.” 

“Hello, dear. You weren’t interrupting much, trust me. Now, introduce me to this fine gentleman.” Rey nodded at Finn and slowly turned the screen around to him. He gasped and shot to his feet.

“Oh my gods, Rey. That’s Leia Organa! Are you crazy!? How’d you--” Rey rushed to calm him down as Leia waited patiently, watching the scene unfold. 

“Finn, Finn, calm down. Yes, she’s the Resistance General but she’s my gram and no I’m not crazy.”

“Are you sure about that? You were just having a full on discussion with yourself earlier.” Rey growled in frustration. This wasn’t how she’d thought it would go. Actually, she hadn’t thought it through at all. “Rey, this is a serious breach of security.” He half-whispered, glancing back at the transceiver. “How is this not being picked up by our guys?” Leia answered for Rey.

“This is an encrypted, private commline on a device Rey made herself. Do you really think your people would be able to track it? We’ve put many security measures in place. This isn’t being used to leak secrets or intel. Even my guys on the inside don’t know of it. This is simply to contact my granddaughter and for her to contact me. I know you’ve been trained to think of me as a heartless antagonist to your cause, but I assure you that I’m really just an old woman wanting to make up for lost time with her family.” Her candid response shut him up. Finn glanced from Rey to Leia and back again before giving in.

“Alright, I won’t tell anyone.” Rey’s thankful grin relieved a small bit of his anxiety.

“I’m glad to hear it. Finn, this is my grandmother, Leia Organa. Grandmother, this is Finn, my best friend.” 

  
“It’s nice to meet you.” Finn and Leia said in near unison. 


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lul.

The last thing Rey expected upon Kylo’s return was to be given the talk. The whole thing was uncomfortable. Kylo looked like he was in physical distress over his decision to have a sit down talk. Rey fidgeted on the couch, feeling very much cramped and wanting it to be over. How’d they get into this situation? Well, Rey came down from her room to grab a snack to find Kylo sitting stiffly at the couch. When he heard her, he shot up into a standing position, putting Rey on edge. He was wearing his helmet and took it off clumsily before clearing his throat. Rey was at the bottom step, having not moved since he rose so suddenly. 

“Rey, come take a seat. I want to talk to you.” He gestured to the couch. She could sense no ill intentions and stubbornly decided to sit on the armchair opposite the couch and waited for him to speak. “I know-- you know... Hux explained the logistics to you before.” He ran his fingers through his hair, it was a nervous tick of his. She wondered what had him so offput. 

“Explained what?” He looked up at her suddenly before darting his eyes away. There was a blush to his cheeks that was only spreading as time passed. 

“About-- he told you about-- s-s-se-se--.” He struggled to say almost inaudibly but she picked up on it. Her cheeks flushed a bright red, wanting very much to run back to her room. 

“Are you trying to give me ‘the talk’?” He opened his mouth to speak but shut it with a nasally sigh, nodding slightly. “Oh my-- oh my force, Kylo. We are not-- you’re-- oh my gods.” She rambled, causing both of their blushes to advance. His ears were covered by his hair but she knew they had to be as red as his face. He was scowling. She buried her head in her hands, pulling her knees up to her chest. “This isn’t happening.” Rey mumbled to herself. 

“R-Rey, I just want to talk to you about pro-protecting you-rself for whenever you decide to become ac-active.” Kylo swallowed, the very idea making him very much sick. 

“Force, Kylo, I’m fourteen!” She whined. “I can’t believe this.”

“This isn’t pleasant for me either. I get no joy out of this.” 

“You don’t have to do this. It’s not your problem.”

“Can you at least let me tell you where to go to get an implant?” 

“You know what? Fine, go ahead.” She crossed her arms across her chest and sat stewing. 

“The medbay.” 

“Good, okay. Can I go now? I’m really uncomfortable.”

“Yes, please. Go. Good talk.” They both fled to their respective sanctuaries. 

\-----

“Rey, you look as though you smelled a bantha fart.” Her usual guest chimed upon her entry. She simply glared, not wanting to deal with him at the moment. “What? Not funny?” She said nothing and went to bury herself under her blankets. “Hey! No sleeping yet, we haven't gotten to meditate.” They'd just finished telekinesis training when she'd left to grab a bite to eat. Rey only grunted, not knowing what to say. The blanket was mercifully covering her blush. “Did something happen down there?” Rey held her breath, mortified if he found out. 

“No. Just Kylo being Kylo.” She willed her voice to remain relaxed. The thought of Anakin finding out about what had just transpired made her shake her head and groan. Of all the people, she wanted him to never know. Thinking about Kylo’s awkward talk and Anakin's proximity made her take a deep breath and caused the blood to rush to the top of her skin, giving her the appearance of the embodiment of embarrassment. Why she was so conscious of her mentor was beyond her. Yes, she found him handsome and liked the sound of his voice and the way it lilted mischievously at times, but he was a ghost! A ghost. She was having weird thoughts about a long dead force ghost. There must have been something wrong with her. 

“I hope it wasn't too bad, whatever he did.” Anakin smiled, or at least she could sense he was from her place beneath the blankets. Surely, he would be the death of her, with his carefree smiles. “Reyyyy, let's do some meditationnnn. I swear I’ll let you sleep the day away afterwards.” He shoved her leg, causing her to spasm to an upright position in surprise. He seemed equally surprised by her sudden movement and had retracted his hand before insisting on meditating again. She knew there was no way she could clear her mind enough to slip into it. Sighing as she looked at her hands, she let herself think. 

“I'm afraid my mind is too muddled to clear it right now.” But there was no deterring him. 

“Obi-Wan often meditated  _ to _ clear his mind after a long day.” His insistence was endearing but was more smothering than anything. She'd never tell him that for fear he'd never appear again. He watched as she undid her hair ties, accepting that she wouldn't be meditating. 

“I'm going to nap and you can't make me. He may be my grandfather but that doesn't mean we're the same.” She spoke as she got comfortable again. Anakin pouted but nodded. 

  
“You're right. I'll let you sleep. I'll allow you some time off as well. I don't want to overwhelm you. May you dream of clear skies, Rey.” And he was gone. 


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey copes with Anakin's absence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what I'm doing. Who's driving the car!? :P

His undetermined length of absence threw her, she'd thought he'd be back after a day or two but it had been two cycles and no sign of him. She woke up each day expecting him to be there doing some random crap he usually did. Each day she woke up to silence and an empty room. 

Her best friend had noticed the difference in her demeanor. She'd seemed disturbed by something with no possible reason. He'd asked her about it but she simply said she was fine. Finn filed it off as another one of her mental health issues he'd picked up on, right next to arguing with herself. He loved his friend but damn was she weird. 

Kylo, oblivious to the machinations of her mind, saw a change in her as well. The changes were good but seemingly caused by nothing. She listened to him more and was out of her room more often than not. His darling girl didn't talk back as much and they hadn't had a fight. It was worrying but he wasn't complaining. She'd actually hugged him when he came back from a trip. It was all very weird. Kylo was afraid to ask her about it for fear of the spell being broken. He had his fears and confided in Hux about her abnormal behavior. 

Hux was skeptical about what Ren had told him under confidence and wanted to see it for himself. The General invited her over for lunch and expected her to blab about how shit Kylo was but she said nothing of him. She was uncharacteristically reserved. He even prompted her but she shrugged it off, eating her lunch. His urge to study her brain resurfaced after years of laying dormant. Of course, he couldn't be dissecting her so he asked questions instead. They all seemed like inquiries a concerned parent would ask except a lot less broad. Her answers were standard and inconclusive to his theories. She left after lunch, leaving him to his thoughts. He had more questions than answers. 

Rey wasn't even acknowledging her arch nemesis Asajj’s presence. No snide comment or look of disdain. The lack of response caused more damage then when she did sneer or sass. Asajj was on edge at all times, thinking that Rey was going to do something awful to her. Clearly, her neutrality was to give her a false sense of security. Asajj ended up avoiding taking trips to Ren’s quarters and generally staying to places with a lot of people. 

She hadn't called her grandma. Leia was worried but knew Rey would call her if anything happened, so she waited anxiously for any word from her. 

It was Phasma Rey finally spoke with. She went about it avoiding the subject matter and attempting to keep it purely for informational purposes. It only made it seem worse.

“Phasma, what does it mean when someone you spend a lot of time with suddenly disappears for like a month?” Rey asked first at a trooper training session Phasma was overseeing. 

“Is it natural to feel like your stomach does flips when you're near them?” Rey wondered later after letting Phasma do her hair. 

“Do you think they got sick of me?” Rey gasped from Phasma’s couch as Phasma prepared lunch. The older woman said there was no way anyone could get sick of her. 

“Phasma, it's been a long time, do you think he'll ever come back?” Rey asked after taking the first bite. 

“What if he never comes back?” Phasma’s automatic thought was that Ren spaced Rey's little crush. Then, she wondered who it was. 

“It's no one special, just a friend. You wouldn't know him.” Was Rey's answer. “Don’t tell Kylo or he'll freak out.” She added as an afterthought. 

“It sounds like you have a bit of a crush on this person.” Phasma tried. Rey immediately denounced the idea with a vengeance but she couldn't hide her blush. “Oh, I think you do, love.” Rey scowled.

“No way, he's-- It's complicated. I don't  _ like _ him. He's just a friend.” Phasma rose an unconvinced brow. “Don’t give me that look. I'm not lying.”

“I never said you did, but the way you're completely denying it is saying otherwise.” Rey let out a groan. “Did you tell him how you felt?” 

“No! I-I could never.” Rey stuttered. “I just like his smile is all. His voice is nice too, but his face is--” Rey caught herself. “He's just a friend! He's taken, anyway.” 

“Oh boy.” Phasma sighed, taking away their plates. “Sounds like you've got it hard, love.” The older woman deposited the trash in the disposal. Rey let out a weary breath. “I wouldn't get your hopes up if he's taken. Who is this boy, anyway? Is he a trainee?” 

“No, he's... I don't know how to explain it. I should get going. Don’t tell anyone what I said. Please, Phasma.” 

“Of course, love. Just don't get yourself hurt.” Phasma said, pulling Rey into a hug. She loved the girl as if she were her own child. “Be safe!” She called out to Rey as the younger girl trotted down the hallway. 

  
“I will.” 


	54. Chapter 54

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey slips up.

“Rey, I wasn't expecting you.” Hux murmured, having been alerted by Mitaka of her presence at the command center. She was standing with her arms crossed, tapping her foot. Her pretty little face was scrunched up. 

“Really, because I wasn't expecting you to assign extra troopers outside my quarters.”  _ Oh. _ Hux cleared his throat and straightened his back. Her previous apathy had evaporated just the other day for unknown causes. 

“They are merely for your protection. Can we please discuss this at a later time?” She shook her head no. People were pretending to be busy. “Rey...” He took on a warning tone. 

“I don’t need to be monitored and I don't appreciate the effort. Retract your order.” He tightened his jaw, not wanting to appear emotional in front of his underlings. 

“Rey, that is hardly necessary and ill advised.”

“You know what's ill advised? Alcoholism but you don't see me assigning medbay people to your rooms.” The sound of fake business lulled and a few operators glanced from one another before continuing. Hux was red in the face, either from anger or embarrassment. He put an arm across her back and tried to usher her to a less populated area. She was having none of it and slapped his hand away. He gasped quietly and several other similar sounds could be heard. “Let go of me, you egomaniac! I will not be dissuaded, call off the guards.” 

“Do you think your are in the position to be making such demands?” He whispered coldly. Hux didn't appreciate her blatant disrespect. “Do I have to call Ren down here?” She recoiled from him. 

“You think that'll do anything to me? You should head to the medbay to get your head checked while you're at it.” Rey had an idea. She'd never tried it in action. While they glared at each other, she gathered the force. 

“ _ You will repeal your command and won't tell Kylo anything of this.”  _

“Nice try, Rey, but years with Kylo Ren forced me to increase my mental fortitude.” He said, almost smugly as he leaned forward and tapped a finger against the side of his head. “Your little mind tricks won't work on me.” She was thoroughly disappointed in herself. She thought her ability was impeccable. The only thing that stopped her from screaming at her fake father figure was Anakin appearing over his shoulder looking displeased. “Just wait until Ren hears about this.” The General who was losing his cool, whipped out his commlink and rang. Rey’s stomach was doing flips but Anakin smiled softly, pleased that she didn't do anything too tactless. She turned to leave but Hux caught her arm and this time she didn't try to pull away. “Ren, yes this is Hux. Can you come to the control center? Why?” He glanced to Rey. “Rey's being an infant.” She audibly guffawed. 

“Oh, _please,_ _Brendol_.” She rolled her eyes. His brows furrowed. 

“You watch your tongue or you're going to lose it pretty soon.” Hux hissed. “No, not you, you buffoon, I was talking to Rey. Listen-- no, I don't care if what you're doing is super important. Come get your child or so help me gods, Ren.” He emphasized. “What do you mean what size shirt am I? Are you kriffing shopping!?” Rey was watching, somewhat amused by their discussion. “Did you forget all I told you about managing your finances and budgeting? I don't care how much Rey might like it!” By now, he'd demolished his cool reputation. “Get your dimwitted self here pronto.” He ended the comm agitatedly before clearing his throat and adjusting his uniform. 

“You missed a little something.” Rey gestured to his hair, a few orange strands were out of place. Hux fixed them. Rey smirked. He shot her a frown and she stifled a giggle. “I'll be waiting over here. Wouldn't want Papa Hux to burst a vessel.”

“What did you just call me?” Hux’s voice rose in pitch incredulously. 

“A nuisance.” 

“How quaint.” 

It was a full thirty minutes before Ren arrived. The bags of items Hux was expecting him to be toting were nowhere to be seen. 

“What was the fuss, General?” Ren’s garbled voice asked from behind his mask. Rey always tensed when he was in it so she sat stiffly and forced herself to remain in a relaxed posture. Kylo hadn't bothered addressing her, she didn't like that very much and decided to scowl at him. 

“The fuss, Ren, is that Rey is a belligerent barve. She doesn't understand the importance of the newly appointed troopers outside your quarters.” 

“Did you tell her the reason or did that slip your mind? I'm sure you'd be equally perturbed by the increase of trooper personnel outside your quarters, General.” The title was said as an insult. Kylo Ren seemed bored. Rey wasn't expecting him to back her up and was decidedly silent during the exchange. 

“You won't be so quick to defend her when I tell you what she tried.” Hux voiced dryly. He had Ren’s attention. “Our darling Rey over there tried to mindtrick me.” Rey wanted to melt into her seat, to dash from the room, anything to get out of the situation. Rens helmet slowly turned to face her and she wanted to disappear, to be anyone but herself at that moment. 

“She... what? Rey, where did you learn that?” Frankly, she didn't want to answer at all because of his helmet. 

“I figured it out myself.” 

“That's bantha fodder. How did you learn how to do that?” She flinched at Ren’s hasty approach and grimaced as he nearly hovered over her. All she wanted was for him to back off and give her some space so she utilized their rarely touched upon bond. 

_ Get. Away. From me. _ Was what she sent him. He moved a step backward after a moments pause that made her wonder if he even heard her. She glared up at the black void that was his helmet. 

  
“Come.” Ren stomped out of the hub with his usual gentleness, leaving Rey to follow. Hux watched and ground his teeth, knowing better than to say anything more. He would most definitely not retract his order now. 


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This doesn't need a summary. Have fun.

“I don't believe for one second that you managed to figure out mind tricking by yourself, Rey.” Kylo made clear as they entered their lodgings. He whipped around as soon as they reached the couch. He pointed for her to take a seat but she refused. 

“I told you, I taught myself.” She restated firmly. She almost believed it herself. Who was to say Anakin wasn't a figment of her imagination. Her eyes narrowed on Kylo’s clenching fists. 

“Why did you use the bond?” Kylo asked tiredly, reaching to the releases of his helmet. 

“I didn't trust myself not to unintentionally force push you across the room.” She admitted unashamed. Her confession caused him to slow his removal of his black helmet but only slightly. It could have been interpreted as hesitation. 

“Why?” At her perplexed expression he ran his fingers through his hair and set his helmet aside. “Where are you learning all this? Who is teaching you?” He was beseeching but she collected herself. 

“I told you that I am self taught and yet you don't believe me. I haven't given you reason to doubt me, and yet here you are revealing your lack of trust.” She crossed her arms, feeling more confident. “It's not my fault you shut me out for so long. If you weren't so obsessed with hiding your dark, dastardly deeds, maybe you would understand me better.” Kylo’s face twitched before he schooled himself. His suddenly relaxed aura could only mean that he was reigning back his true feelings. 

“How much do you know of what I do?” His deep voice was even but dead flat.

“I know enough.” She watched as Kylo had to take a seat. 

“How does it make you feel? Do you think I'm a monster?” He looked as if he were fifteen years younger with the way he slumped into himself on the couch. She hadn't expected this reaction. This was different from the usual. He wasn't enraged or grounding her. He looked broken and it made her chest ache. Rey couldn’t lie to him, not now. Unwittingly, she felt as if she were breaking and sat beside him. 

“I... I don't know. I don't like to think about it.” Her words seemed to pop him. He deflated further, if it were even possible. “I think... when you're Kylo, I'm scared of you. It's been so long since you've last felt like Ben, I'm starting to forget what Ben was like.” She dared to peek over at him and saw that his eyes were glazed. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything.” 

“Who told you?” 

“Huh?” He flicked his eyes to hers, they were full of animosity and pitch black. Her throat constricted at his intense gaze. 

“Nobody, but word gets around.” Her eyes darted away. The chrono filled the silence that followed. 

“Then everyone will be held responsible.” The statement would have been perfunctory to an unknowing person. To someone in the know, like Rey, knew it only meant bad things. He shot up from his seat smoothly and retrieved his helmet. Not wanting anyone to die because of her, she panicked and force froze him before he could reach the door. “Rey.” His mechanical voice warned. 

“I won't allow you to hurt anyone because of me. Not over something like this.” The illusion of restraining him was broken rather violently and she staggered back before regaining her bearings and following him out the door. She cursed herself for not being stronger. If she were better at using the force, people wouldn't be about to be maimed. 

“Go back to our quarters, Rey.” Kylo commanded without turning around. 

“Kylo, please.” Rey begged desperately, but he wasn't listening. He lit his saber and continued toward the trooper barracks closest to their quarters. She could sense his blood lust and shivered. She didn't dare touch their bond for fear of his rage overwhelming her. “Please stop!” But he didn't and they were nearly at the barracks. It would be a bloody disaster. “What will Snoke say? What about Hux and Phasma!? Kylo,  _ stop _ !” Rey pleaded, hoping to appeal to him. He said nothing. He reached the doorway. In a last ditch effort to stop his rampage before it began, she wrapped her arms tightly around his middle. She could hear him breathing heavily and felt his growl of annoyance reverberate to her bones. Her breathing wasn't much better. 

“Let. Go.” He trudged forward into the room, saber blazing, troopers eyes widening in fear. He destroyed the closest cot and accompanying bedside table. Rey was grateful for the bed being empty. “Ragh!” He roared. Adrenaline was flowing through her veins as she struggled to slow him down.

  
“Everyone, run away! Please!” She screamed so everyone could hear. They hesitated long enough for Ren to kick the closest one to the ground. “Oh, gods.” She was freely crying now, wishing for anyone to help her. No one would help her, this she knew for certain. Still, she prayed someone would stop him. “Kylo, if you kill these people then you will truly be a monster. You will be killing Ben Solo.” She mewled in sorrow as she felt him raise his arm to strike. The strike never came. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everybody loves a dose of random angst.


	56. Chapter 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to their quarters.

He could feel the tension in his muscles. All he wanted to do was to bear down on this trooper. The trooper was unmasked and out of his armor. The trooper was petrified. What came over him was against his will, the draining of his wrath. Kylo didn't bother deactivating his saber before he chucked it across the room with another animalistic roar. It was hard for him to move with Rey wrapped tightly around his waist and he had the urge to rip her off of him viciously. The helmet he'd grown comfortable in felt too small, but he would not remove it outside of the privacy of his quarters. 

“God damn it, Rey!? What have you done to me?” It wasn't what she did, but the sudden conscious he grew. Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren, felt lost. When his breathing evened out he realized she was crying against his back. The trooper scrambled to his feet, stumbling as he put distance between them. “Go. Leave!” Ren ordered the trooper, he didn't hesitate to flee. Rey was inconsolable after that. She refused to look at him until he removed his helmet and shook her by the shoulders. 

“Don't hurt anybody, Kylo.” She sobbed. Her age was extremely apparent. She was only fourteen. She was a child and he just traumatized her. 

“I didn't hurt anyone, sweetheart. Stop crying.” He said sweetly, trying to calm her down. They had sunken to the floor, Rey's legs had given out after the immediate danger had passed. “I'm so sorry.” He pulled her snugly to his chest. It had been too long since she'd let him do that. Lately, Rey proclaimed that she was too old for it. She continued to soak his clothes.

“I-I c-can’t s-stop.” She half gasped, half hiccuped. Never before had he felt such regret. Gingerly, he rubbed her back and rocked them both slowly. All he wished for in that moment was for her to forget it ever happened because maybe then his heart wouldn't ache as much. 

“Oh, my darling girl, my sunbeam, my star, my dear princess, I am so sorry.” He kissed her hair again and again, hoping to soothe her sorrow. “I'm so sorry.” He laid his cheek upon her head and she murmured incoherently against his chest. “Oh, Rey, please forgive me. What I do, I do for you. I do those dastardly things to make the galaxy a safer, better place. You deserve nothing less than the best. I do what must be done, for your sake. Any danger to you will be eliminated. Please, understand.” She stopped wailing and was mutedly sobbing. He pulled her far enough away from his chest to make her look at him. Kylo wiped her cheeks free of tears and planted a kiss filled with comfort to her forehead. To his relief, she calmed some more. “Come on, let's get going.” He lifted her and held her like a princess. She didn't protest and actually clenched a handful of his tunic. The steady jostling of his gait relaxed her. Occasionally he peered down at her to find her staring at him already. Kylo rose a questioning brow. 

“I forgot how big your nose is.” He certainly wasn't expecting to hear that. He wished he'd put his helmet back on. “If you put your helmet back on you wouldn't be carrying me right now, I wouldn't let you.” He scowled. 

“Don't read my mind.” 

“I was checking if Ben was still in there somewhere.” She muttered after a pregnant pause. He studied her face as they approached their destination. 

“And did you find him?” It was weird to talk about himself in third person, but he supposed he wasn't really Ben anymore and that she was right. He studied her face, her eyes were still red rimmed and would be puffy. Timidly, she dipped her head briefly. Kylo grunted in acknowledgment as the door opened. He set her down on her own feet, using the force to set his floating helmet down on the kitchenette counter. He'd had his hands full. His saber set down beside it. He decided to break the silence. 

“You've gotten heavier.” He tried casually. She whipped her head and balked at him. Small talk wasn't his strongest skill. He scratched his head, trying to think of something decent to say. 

“I'm not fat.” 

“What? Who said you were fat? I'll kill ‘em.” He regretted the paltry threat the moment they left his mouth. She'd stiffened and he could sense her anxiety mount. “I didn't mean that.” He sighed, closing his eyes. After what had just transpired, it was completely not okay. 

“Nevermind.” She mirrored his sigh. “I... I just want to go to sleep.” She walked to the steps but paused at the bottom. He had stepped farther into the room to watch her. “You may not have destroyed Ben, but you still have to prove he's alive and capable and not in some bacta tank in your mind.” She waited for her words to settle in his mind before bidding him good night. 

Once she left, he didn't know what to do with himself. He paced the living room, running his fingers through his hair, wishing he could have someone to guide him. Snoke certainly guided him but not in the way he needed it now. Snoke’s method was to teach him the darkside and ways to channel it. Now, all he wanted was peace and for his mind to make sense again. Plopping down on the couch, he held his head in his hands and beseeched. 

  
“Grandfather, I know you said you wouldn't visit me again but I really need your guidance. Rey found out about what my profession entails. I-I don't know what to do.” He waited for an answer that never came. 


	57. Chapter 57

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin tries to help a morose Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lul.

Anakin listened to his lost little grandson, knowing exactly how he felt. He did nothing to help him. Anakin didn't lift a finger. He watched Kylo unravel at the seams and beg for his help. Anakin would not help a man who chose the life he had and forsook those who loved him. He loved his grandson completely but he was adamant that he learn the lesson himself. 

About a day before, he'd returned to Rey. She'd been more than excited to see him at first glance but soon flipped to anger. It was to be expected that she'd be upset over his extended leave of absence. But it was a necessary absence, the old coot Snoke had begun picking up on his presence. He wouldn't tell her that, though. Unlike her incompetent companion, Anakin didn't show his darker side as freely. It was a part of him and always would be, but it wasn't something he was proud of. 

He left the distraught fool to his own devices, choosing instead to comfort the innocent. She was in bed staring blankly at the wall, jaw slack against her pillow. 

“Anakin.” She addressed without moving her attention upon his entrance. 

“Yes, Rey?” Soft was his voice, like a breathy whisper. 

“What should I do?” She assumed he knew the topic at hand. The force ghost contemplated his answers. 

“Forgiveness,” he started strongly, “is the Jedi way.” His hands clasped behind his back as he rocked on his heels. “But you aren't a Jedi, I won't force the Jedi Code onto you.” He paused as he pieced together his thoughts. “What he does, he says he does for you. In a way, he does. Or at least, that's what he believes. I'm not defending his monstrosities nor am I suggesting that he is too far gone for forgiveness. Forgiveness, I believe, takes a lot of strength and time. 

“My answer to you is to not see him as a raging beast but as a very troubled man. I won't expect you to recover from his show of violence tonight or even this month. It's a lot to deal with and to process. I would take as long as you feel necessary before you speak to him again. I can understand if you don't trust or feel safe around him at the moment. It's my firm belief, though, that he would never intentionally harm you. He loves you.” She furrowed her brow and pulled a frown, absentmindedly fiddling with the edge of the blanket. Anakin cast his eyes to the floor and dipped his head. 

“How?” He snapped his eyes to her, wondering what part she was questioning. “How can I think of him as anything less than a monster? Please, tell me what to do. I don’t want to hate him.” The ephemeral man watched her as she spoke with a pained expression on his face. The young girl he'd grown to think of as his padawan was in distress. Unlike with Kylo, Anakin wanted to do everything in his power to ease her suffering. Kylo deserved his confliction after all he'd wrought, according to Anakin. He patted his thighs with his hands before taking a seat on the edge of the bottom of the bed. He landed with a sigh, knitting his hands in his lap.

“What caused his outburst, if I may ask?” Even being a force ghost had its limitations. 

“I provoked him.” No intonation to her words, Rey's voice was flat. “We were fighting over how I learned how to do mind tricks. I couldn't tell him that you were teaching me. He'd think I was crazy or-- damn, Hux didn't call off his troopers.” She remembered. The incident seemed so long ago. 

“What do you mean?” She sighed and rolled over in bed. 

“He assigned extra troopers outside our quarters. I think he thinks that there's a spy or something.” As she spoke she rubbed her eye and gained some semblance of emotion as her face contorted. “Unless Phasma said something. Gods, I can’t believe I trusted her.” Rey was talking more to herself than to him as she groaned. “I can’t believe I gave  _ him _ the benefit of a doubt. Anakin, he proved that he’s a beast himself. How can I just forgive and forget that?” He hadn’t a clue. The man himself was known to hold grudges. “I can’t trust anyone here.” She murmured. 

“That’s not true. There’s that guy you like. What’s his name again? FN-random numbers?” Anakin tried to be cheerful, perhaps it would bring her a bit of a laugh and lighten her mood. 

“Finn? I don’t like him, he’s just a friend. I like him as a friend, don’t get the wrong idea. There's nothing between us.” She sputtered strongly. 

“O-Of course.” Her adamant tone was unexpected to say the least. Growing a tad uncomfortable, he rose from the bed and walked toward the door. “I think you’ll be fine, Rey. Just-- Just take your time. It takes time to forgive, and no one said you had to forget.” The morose girl sat up in bed. 

“Where are you going?” Ever the responsible adult in her life (that sure is saying a lot), he shrugged and grinned.

“No where special. I’ll be back shortly.” At her trying to get up he held a hand out to gesture for her to stay in bed. “Relax, take a nap. You’ve had a long day.” Nodding meekly, she did as she was told.    



	58. Chapter 58

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin does some magic.

His troublesome, lost boy was still groveling in the same spot on the couch, muttering incoherently. It was a pathetic sight. Anakin was disgusted by it and sought to put an end to it. A grown man, praying to a dead person with said person right behind him. With his fragile state of mind, Kylo’s mind was pliable. Anakin had no problem slipping in unnoticed except there was already someone there.  _ Sithspit. _ Anakin thought as he recognized the signature. It was the old bastard who kept almost pinpointing him. He’d have to be extra careful in planting the idea he had in mind. To make the idea seem like Kylo’s own, Anakin thought it in first person.

_ I should definitely get Hux to retract the extra troopers. It will probably make Rey less upset with my bantha ass. I should ask the old shithead to give me a vacation. I should take Rey to Naboo. It’s super nice this time of year-- or so I’ve heard. I should stop being a temperamental moisture boy and be nice.  _

Anakin could feel Snoke’s revulsion at the out of place train of thought and blatant outrage at how he could tell it wasn’t his padawans own. Snoke was quick to find him in Ben’s head. 

_ You.  _ Snoke growled. Anakin wasn’t happy with this development but remained neutral. Stoically, Anakin watched as Snoke put the pieces together but left with an arrogant smirk that earned Snoke’s scorn. After using such energy he had to rest, but he went to say goodbye to his faithful padawan instead. He couldn’t help but feel a tad guilty because she was in this situation because of him. 

“Rey.” He said, not having the energy to form into an apparition and only a disembodied voice. She gasped. 

“Anakin?” 

“Yes, Rey. It’s me.” Frankly, she was perplexed, having not been able to see him at all in the direction he spoke from. He sensed her confusion. “I’m a bit weak at the moment, I apologize. I came to say goodbye for now. I’ll be back once my strength returns.”

“Why, what happened? You only just came back.” 

“It’s not important. I believe you deserve a break from training.” Rey was still struggling to understand. He wouldn’t ruin the surprise, but he could give a hint. “I hear Naboo is beautiful.” His voice purred before his signature faded, signifying his departure. 

Somehow, he always seemed to leave her reeling. His parting comment was bizarre. What of Naboo? Why mention it at all? She wondered why he’d afforded her a break when there was a rasping at her door. There was no one else it could be beside Kylo but she still found herself asking who it was. 

“It’s me.” His familiar voice muttered. “Kylo.” He continued sullenly. “May I come in?” She snorted at the nicety but used the force to open the door anyway. She was still sitting up in bed. Even from her spot on her bed, she could see his hesitation before stepping in. His hair was a disaster and his eyes darted anxiously, not spending more than a second looking at her. As much as she could have snarked and threw jabs at him, Anakin’s advice was still fresh in her mind.  _ Forget a break from training, I need a break from Kylo. _

“I got Hux to lower the amount of troopers.” Kylo blurted, giving Rey a bit of a start that she quickly recovered from. “Say, Rey, if I was allowed a vacation time... would you like to go sightseeing with me?” He was acting like a prepubescent boy asking a girl out, so afraid she’ll say no. At her wary expression he cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. 

“Where would we go?” Rey asked, giving Ren a bit of hope. 

“Well, I was thinking we could go to Coruscant to do some shopping, maybe see a holofilm. Arkanis, to visit the Academy Hux likes to boast about. We could visit the forests of Corellia--”

“Naboo, what about Naboo?” His mouth was still open and his lips wiggled, trying to think of what to say.

“Yes, yes we can go to Naboo. You’ll love it there. It’s... picturesque. I can finally teach you to swim. We can stay in Theed--” 

“No, I don’t want to be staying there. I’d much prefer something quiet and crowd free.” _ If Anakin meant that I should go to Naboo, then I will go.  _

“Yes, of course.” Right now, he'd basically throw away his pride for her forgiveness. “I know how much you like nature. Maybe you can take home some seeds as a souvenir.” 

“Riiiight.” He fumbled for what to say next.

“I still have to ask the Supreme Leader for permission.”

“Are you his lapdog or something?” She could sense a ripple of wrath through the force before he spoke again after calming himself. It would not do to be unreasonable. 

“He is my boss, Rey. You can’t just take a vacation willy-nilly when you’re an adult. It may take some time before we can go, but I will try my best to make it happen. Believe me when I say I would do anything for your happiness.” She could detect no falsehood in his statement but still she was skeptical. He hadn’t care much for her happiness earlier when he’d nearly slaughtered a room full of defenseless troopers. She narrowed her eyes and he withered a little. “I’ll go ask him now. How long would you like to be there?” 

“A while, I hope. You can just leave me there like you usually do here. I’m sure I could find something to do.” The fact that she hadn’t meant for it to scald him only made it burn more. Suddenly, he seemed to have grown an interest in his gloves. 

  
“No, I’ll be with you the entire time. I think we both need this break.” Kylo gave a curt nod before going to ask, leaving the door open. With a groan, she used the force to shut it. Everyone always left it open no matter how much she complained.  _ Anakin, I hope this is what you meant for me to do. It’s a bit uncanny how Anakin’s comment and Kylo’s declaration were so close in time. Did the fool do something to make it that way? Surely not, he wouldn’t do something so reckless. Or would he? Did he mind trick him? Can force ghosts do that? He was the strongest force user of his time... perhaps it wasn’t completely out of the realm of possibilities.  _ Eventually, she came to the conclusion that he did have something to do with it, with a blushing smirk, she tried to sleep.  _ Idiot. _


	59. Chapter 59

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo finds out.

“Ah, Kylo Ren. How nice of you to visit me. It must be something bothersome that you’ve come to ask of me. In fact, I already know what you will be asking.” Snoke drawled, with false lightheartedness. Kylo took a knee in front of his dais. “Ask anyway, boy.” 

“Supreme Leader, I must request of you a break in my duties. If it isn’t too much trouble I would like to be able to travel to Naboo for a month. Rey would very much appreciate the time away.” Snoke narrowed his already tiny eyes but his face remained relatively the same expression.

“Is this your own idea, Ren?” 

“I’m unsure what you mean, Supreme Leader.” 

“You fool!” Snoke bellowed, the sound reverberating off of the walls. Kylo tensed but remained kneeling. “Have you not noticed the presence surrounding Our Star?” _ What? _ “Your damnable grandfather, Darth Vader has been in contact with her. How are you so blind after all these years?” Kylo was a mixture of emotions; elated, envious, ashamed. “How are you so ignorant when he’s been in your head!?”  _ What? No. He--  _ “Where do you think you had the idea of this  _ vacation _ ?” 

“I--”

“Being the ever forgiving, kind being that I am, I will allow you this  _ vacation _ to Naboo. You are to investigate more into the matter and you will still be required to do the paperwork.” Snoke spoke the word with distaste. “Begone, scum. I can’t believe I waste my time on you.” 

Clenching his jaw, Kylo bowed and left the chamber, heading back to his rooms. Thoughts racing, he walked mindlessly through the corridors.  _ He was in my head? When? When I had the idea of a vacation? Was that even my idea?  _ Kylo shook his head to rid himself of the thought.  _ It doesn’t matter. _ He breached the door to their lodgings and knocked on Rey’s door, removing his helmet and holding it under his arm. When she didn’t answer immediately, he knocked again more insistently.

“Rey, are you in there?” She was, he knew through their bond she’d rekindled after years lying dormant. “Rey.” He repeated. He was going to knock again when the door swung open and her slight self appeared in the doorway.

“ _ What!?”  _ She was irritated and he could tell even with his lacking social skills. 

“I came to tell you that the Supreme Leader gave the ‘ok’ for our trip. We have a whole month off.” Her temper seemed to cool at this. 

“When will we be leaving?” Her excitement evident despite her attempt to play it down. He smiled though his face was unused to it. 

“As soon as you would like, Rey.” She froze, considering what that meant. 

“Two days. We’ll leave in two days. Is that alright?” He dipped his head repeatedly, signifying it was an okay time frame.

“Yes, yes. That gives me time to wrap up the business I have here.” Despite himself being the infamous dark lord of death, he was smiling giddily like a child. She couldn’t hold back a twitch of her own lips at the sight. It had been a long time since she’d seen him so happy. In fact, she couldn’t remember a time when he ever was. “You should pack tomorrow and put all you need on my shuttle. It’ll take a while to get there so I suggest you bring some entertainment. I’m sure I’m not the most engaging company.” 

“Can I bring my droid?” He stared at her blankly, having no idea what she was talking about. Only after she asked did she realize she hadn’t told him of her project and that he had no idea about it. “I’ve been working on making my own droid.”

“When did you start doing that?” He was truly confused.  _ When did she have the time to do that? She spends all her time in her room, idiot. _ He berated himself. It was apparent that he was very out of touch with her life. 

“About last year.” His happiness was dimmed. She’d been working on it for a year and he hadn’t noticed. Sensing his self loathing, she piped up again. “I didn’t really tell anyone about it.” Her words didn’t really help. 

“I-I see... yes, you can bring it along. If you need any parts, I’ll tell the mechanics to let you choose from their supply before we go. Is there anything else you want to bring?” He meant besides clothing and essentials but she knew that.

  
“My holotransciever, I made it a while ago.” Kylo furrowed his brows and pouted. He had an expressive face. It was why he wore the mask even at home sometimes. He still conceded to the idea, telling her to put it aboard before he left again. Left to her own devices once more, she began to choose clothes to bring. It didn’t really matter because they all looked basically the same. Perhaps they could stop by Coruscant to shop after all. She’d very much appreciate it if they did. A bag big enough to hold all of her things, she didn’t have and would have to ask for. It was inconsequential. She could get anything she wanted though she liked to not abuse that fact. Leaving her chosen clothes folded on top of her dresser she decided to call Leia. A lot had happened that day and she had to share it. Leia picked up on the first ring. 


	60. Chapter 60

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey chats with Leia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno what I'm doing.

“Rey!” Leia exclaimed blissfully yet also in relief. Rey had neglected to call her for nearly a month. “Rey, you haven’t called for a while. I was so worried something happened to you. Are you okay?” She was a worried old woman, it was in her nature but she tended not to show it. Rey smiled meekly and shook her head to dispel any fear. 

“No, nothing has happened to me. Nothing necessarily bad, per say.” Rey rose her brows and fidgeted with her fingers, picking at the skin around her nails. 

“Care to tell an old woman what happened?” Leia spoke carefully. Rey sighed and furrowed her brows. Leia grew serious. 

“Remember all you told me about what Ky-- _ Ben _ has done and how I didn’t believe it? Well, he proved me wrong.” Rey finally looked up and saw that Leia was blanched and stiff. 

“What did he do? Did he hurt you? Oh gods, if he hurt you, force help him. I will be coming for his neck, even if he is my son.” Leia was dead serious and Rey quickly had to clear the misunderstanding. 

“No! No, he didn’t hurt me. He just-- He freaked out and was going to kill some troopers because of me. To dispense dispense ‘justice’ because they were ‘responsible’ or something. I didn’t want to reveal how Anakin was teaching me and he freaked.”

“How is the barve, if I may ask?” Leia spoke dryly. “Not pleased with the mention of the dead man but curious nonetheless. 

“He’s good. He disappeared for a while, that’s why I didn’t call, but he’s back. He came back yesterday but he left again today because he used up too much energy. He’s a really strict teacher but I think he did something to Ben.”

“What do you mean, dear? Did he hurt him?”

“What? No, I don’t think so. If anything he helped. Before Anakin left he said something about how pretty Naboo was and then Ben came in asking if I’d like to got there. It was all very weird and I have a faint idea that Anakin had something to do about it.” Leia guffawed. “I’m serious! We’re leaving for Naboo in two days. I was really shocked that Snoke let him have a month off. I really hate him, Snoke. He seems so evil, I can’t stand to be near him for long.” Her lip curled in disgust. Leia only nodded in agreement. 

“Where will you be staying on Naboo?” Rey shrugged.

“Not anywhere heavily populated. I’d like a break from people.” 

“How long will you be staying?” 

“A month.” Leia’’s eye twinkled. 

“Maybe you’ll be able to go to Theed and see Padmé’s mausoleum and maybe an old woman will be there by chance.” Leia winked, the corners of her eyes creasing. Rey couldn’t help but smile back, hiding her discomfort. She knew Anakin’s wife was famous and a prodigious politician in her time and loved by all the people of Naboo, but she still didn’t like to talk about her. She bit back the surge of jealousy. 

“Perhaps. I’ll be taking my holotransciever with me, so maybe we’ll be able to coordinate something without Ky-Ben’s knowledge.” She smiled tightly after correcting herself. Leia never liked it when Rey spoke of him as Kylo Ren. Leia also didn’t know of her crush, nor who it was on. Rey herself didn’t know what the feelings she felt were called. Feeling courageous, she asked.

“Hey, Gram, if I-- persay-- were to-- around this person--”

“Woah, woah, woah. Slow on down there, Rey. Take a deep breath, you’re not making sense.” Leia mused. Rey took a deep breath and restarted.

“If my stomach gets tight around a certain person, what does that mean?” Leia’s face went neutral from shock. “If-- If his smile makes my chest ache, what does--” Rey gestured to her chest. Her grandmother took a deep breath before asking a question. A very important one.

“And who is this boy? Is it Finn? He’s a doll.” 

“N-No...” She stuttered stiffly. “It’s not Finn.” 

“Oh. I’m surprised Ben allowed you to come in contact with other males with how protective he is of you.” Rey laughed nervously. “What’s his name, dear?” Rey’s mind drew a blank and her mouth dried. What could she say? She decided on a half truth.

“His name is AS-0004.” She lied. It was the year he died, 4-ABY.” Leia smiled warmly, wishing she could hug the young woman. “He’s a Lieutenant for Hux.” 

“What does he look like, is he handsome?” Rey felt a blush coming on.

“Yes, he’s very handsome. He has beautiful dark blonde hair and is very tall. He’s very compassionate and loves his family to death.”  _ If she knew... _ Rey thought. “AS is very cocky and arrogant at times but he means well.”

“How old is this AS-004?” 

“Uh... seven--seventeen.” Leia narrowed her eyes at the uncertainty in Rey’s voice. “He’s new.” 

“How long have you known this boy? He sounds like my husband so far despite the hair and undying love for his family.” Leia joked mirthlessly. Rey found no reason to lie about this part.

“A little over a four months, maybe. He went away on official business not too long ago and only just came back.” 

“Well I’m glad you found someone you like. He sounds like a nice boy. You’ll have to show me what he looks like some time.” 

  
“Yeah.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've gotten super into fallout 4 maxson/f!ss fics. Recc me some good ones if ur into that too. Sago, ive been through your bookmarks *v*


	61. Chapter 61

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A peaceful moment.

The guilt ate away at her until she finally fell asleep. Leia would find out eventually, she knew. Then what would she do? What would she have to say about herself? Would she be appalled? Surely, Leia would be sorely disappointed in her. Rey herself knew it was wrong. He was dead-- long dead,  _ and _ married, to a good woman to top it off. But when she thought of his smile, she found herself smiling. Was it so wrong to be attracted to an attractive man? She did the math, he’d be around seventy if he were still alive,  _ force. _ She sighed. He looked no older than twenty-two. What to do, what to do. 

Finding it no longer possible to stay laying in bed any longer, she left her room and grabbed something to eat. It had to have been early morning aboard the  _ Finalizer _ and yet the light in Kylo’s office was on and she could sense him in there. He was probably doing paperwork. She’d never been in there for as long as she remembered. She hadn’t a reason too and she hadn’t felt the need to pry into his business. Choosing an apple, she knocked on the door. She knew it would be locked. It always was, she found out after Kylo had left for a mission. On multiple occasions she grew curious about the mysterious office, only to find it locked. She could have used the force to force her way inside, but she was too good a person to invade his privacy like that. Rey rationalized that she wouldn’t like him doing that to her so she wouldn’t do that to him. She heard a rustling and soon the door was opened and Kylo’s huge form filled the gap, blocking her from seeing much.

“You’re up, why are you up? It’s late, get to bed.” He whispered tiredly. She munched on her apple before correcting him.

“Actually, it’s quite early.” She gestured to the wall chrono. “Have you not slept?” Wary as she was, she was still concerned. 

“I’ve been busy.” Was his gruff response. He scratched his chin where stubble was growing. 

“Doing what?” She huffed.

“You know, work stuff. Listen, shouldn’t you be doing something? I’m kind of tied up here.” He was trying to get rid of her, she knew. Swallowing another bite, she sighed.

“I’ll go make you a caf.” Not waiting for a response she left him standing in the doorway. Silent as a predator, she could sense him heading to the downstairs fresher for a break. The caf was black and she left the creamer and sugar to him. He was back in his cave of an office with the door shut once more. She’d finished her apple and alerted him that the caf was ready. Hearing a rustling, she backed away from the door to let him leave. His eyes lingered on her as he passed, shutting the door behind him. Meaning to follow him, she did just that. Unremarkably, he didn’t acknowledge her when she sat at the island as he stood mixing in the ingredients he wanted in his drink. She’d brewed him a few cups in one large transparisteel pot, knowing he’d want more than just one cup. Ever so gently, she spoke.

“What have you been working on?” Admittedly, she was interested. Slowly, he took in a breath. It was almost a yawn.

“Paperwork for before our trip and some that I'll have to do while we're there.”  _ Why is he going so far? _ Upon looking up and seeing a frown, he pursed his lips before rubbing an eye. The permeable smell of caf filled the room. Just the smell made her feel buzzed. 

“Why not do it on the way there?” It was a good question. He opened his mouth to respond but shut it with a gulp. “Is it really that much work?” He looked cautiously up at her and was surprised to see... worry?  _ No, it couldn't be. _ His sleep deprived state made his mind's defenses weaker and she picked up on the thought. Irritated that he didn't think she was sincerely worried that he was overworking himself, she offered to help. Her answer was a taut frown and a shake of the head.

“That'll hardly be necessary. I can handle it. I want to spend our vacation catching up.” He smiled weakly. “Even on the way there.” 

“Oh yeah, before I forget, I need a bag to carry all my stuff I’m bringing.”

“Don’t you have your messenger bag?” Both their brows knit together. 

“It’s not big enough.” He blew on his caf as he brought it to his full lips. 

“I’ll get you one.” Downing the whole cup, he hissed and poured himself another cup. 

“Aren’t you gonna eat?” He considered her question, she could see it in the way the corner of his lips twitched in time with his eye. 

“I wasn’t planning on it. Why, do you want me to?” Leaning back off of the countertop she straightened her back and adopted an indifferent countenance. 

“I never said that. I only asked if you were planning on it and it turns out you were not.” Sliding off the stool she took steps toward the door. 

“Where are you going?” She looked back to him and he was pouting as if he didn’t want her to leave quite yet. Not that she cared at all. Shrugging, she offered an answer. 

“I don’t know, for a walk, I suppose.” 

“Do you mind if I join you?” Was him meek inquiry. A frown tugged onto her face as she looked to the floor. She could tell he felt discouraged and rejected. 

“If you’re going to wear your helmet, then no. You can’t come if you’re going to wear the thing.” He knew that she knew that he never left without adorning it. “Sorry.” She let slip. The caffeine was kicking in and his mind became more guarded but she could still feel his hurt feelings. 

  
“Don’t be, I’ll be here when you get back. Be safe and have fun.” He mustered, shaking his head a little and heading back to his office without looking at her again. 


	62. Chapter 62

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's walk and subsequent errands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love y'all. School is a pain in the ass but so is losing interest. I am determined to finish this fic tho so no worries.

She walked leisurely, dipping her head and offering a small smile and a greeting to those she happened to pass along the way. Mostly, she was lost in thought. A lot of things were on her mind. 

I wonder how Anakin is. I’ll have to ask him if he has to do with Kylo’s sudden change. He seems lighter, less encumbered and more unsure. It’s so unlike him. Working through the night, how peculiar. Nearly killing innocent people one day to selflessly exhausting himself the next. Weirdo.

Passing by a wide transparisteel viewport she slowed to a stop to admire the view. 

Hux, Phasma, Damned Leech Asajj, do they know? An unpleasant thought graced her mind next. She sneered in disgust at it. Is she coming? Ew. Imagining Asajj and Kylo having fun doing cute couply things made her cringe. Running along the beach together, playing in the waves, cuddling on the shore. Ew. Oddly, she felt a twinge of possessiveness and frowned before moving on once more. 

I should probably let Finn know so he doesn’t think I’ve been kidnapped or something. She redirected her path to where Finn would still be sleeping. Entering his barracks filled with other sleeping troopers she tiptoed slowly so as to not wake them up before tapping on Finn’s sleeping shoulder. He took in a sharp breath and shot up, she jolted back by pure instinct or they would have bonked heads. 

“Finn, Finn it’s me.”

“Rey!?” He whisper yelled. 

“Shh, I need to tell you something.” She pulled his hand to follow her. He was larger and clunkier than she was and banged into more than one cot on the way out. 

“What’s this all about? Why are you here? What--” He struggled to think with his head still in sleepy mode. 

“I wanted to tell you myself about my vacation starting tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow!?” He sobered up at that. “Tomorrow? Why didn’t you tell me before?” He was hurt and it showed. I guess this is why they’re required to always where their buckets. 

“It was only planned yesterday. Don’t worry, I’ll be in good hands.” Sighing as she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.”Kylo and I--”

“He’s going with you!?” He knew of her tense relationship with him and was skeptical at best about her safety. She rolled her eyes. 

“Yes. He’s going with me. I guess it’s like a bonding trip or some bantha fodder. We’re going to Naboo for a month.”

“A month!? What the hell are you going to do while you’re there? Visit the karking waterfalls?” She didn’t react to his disbelief. 

“And hopefully go swimming.” Blushing, she continued. “Kylo said he’d teach me how to swim.” Finn finally wrenched his hand away to cross his arms across his chest disapprovingly. It was her turn to feel hurt.

“Can’t you at least be happy for me? This is going to be the first time I’ve been to somewhere beside Moraband and here. There’s going to be real live trees and fresh running water, Finn.” She finished excitedly. 

“I know, Rey. Do you think you’ll be safe with him?” The unfortunate events of yesterday resurfaced and made her doubt but she hid it.

“Yes. He’d never hurt me.” She believed it. He’d never hurt her before. 

“How can you be so sure? I’m sorry if I don’t seem as happy for you as I should be, but I’m worried about you.” He shrugged. “You know how it is.” Letting out a small breath through her nose, she nodded. Yes, she knew of Kylo’s reputation. Yes, she even saw it with her own eyes. But if he did those damning things for her sake, why would he ever hurt her? 

“I’ll be fine, Finn. I’m going to meet up with my grandma while I’m there. Kylo won’t know and he won’t find out.” 

“The General? Do you think that’s a good idea?” She frowned, offended that he’d suggest that it wasn’t.

“Of course, it’s just going to be my grandma.”

“How can you be so sure it’s not a trap to kidnap you?” She audibly scoffed at the absurdity of the idea.

“She would never do that. She’s not evil, Finn. She’s a good person.” He rushed to hush her.

“Be not so loud, would you? They’ll flip if they hear what you’re saying. You’re basically admitting to treason.” He was right and she knew it, but would never admit it. She was too stubborn for that. 

“It’s too early for even Hux to be up.”

“You don’t know that for sure.”

“Whatever. I only came and told you because I didn’t want you to worry. I probably won’t be able to see you until after we come back.” She shifted her weight on her feet and looked at them. “I’ll miss you, my one friend.” She felt warm arms envelop her.

“I’ll miss you too, Rey, my one friend.” She chuckled against his chest and wrapped her arms around him too before they separated and she let him get back to sleep. Not really knowing where else to go, she wandered aimlessly through the ship before finding herself in front of the wide double doors to the hangar. Blankly she stared, not thinking much but faintly remembering Kylo telling her that she had free-range of the droid parts there. 

“Oh hay, Lil’ Lady!” A familiar voice greeted. She felt a smile coming as she approached the trusty mechanic.

“Hey, Red.” She purred and exchanged a high-five. 

“‘Aven’t seen you ‘round ‘ere lately. Where ya been, angel?” Angel, it was the appalachian he’d bestowed her. Angels were natives of Iego and known to be beautiful-- or so she’s been told. 

“Just busy. Life, y’know.” He didn’t pry and nodded with a hoot.

“Oh, do I know. Whatcha ‘ere for t’day?” Finally looking around, they were close to Kylo’s shuttle. 

“Were you working on his Upsilon?” She bothered to ask.

“That beauty o’er there? I call ‘er the ‘Upsilady’. Yeah, he said t’ prep it ‘as soon as possible’.” He emphasized, trying poorly to imitate the mechanical tone of Kylo’s helmet. She let out a snort. Red had been Kylo’s mechanic since as long as she could remember. He was good at what he did so Kylo hadn’t ‘disposed’ of him. 

“Care to show me to your spare parts? I’m working on my own droid and Kylo said to come here for the parts I needed.” He smiled, proud that she was interested in droids. 

“O’ course, they’re just o’er ‘ere.”


	63. Chapter 63

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey returns home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've noticed a slow in the comments... does that mean the quality has gone downhill? Please let me know before I write too far ahead.

Rey had Red carry a large box full of parts onto the Upsilon shuttle. She’d shared that they were going on vacation the next day. With a wave and a brief goodbye she headed back to her shared quarters, wondering if he’d decided to eat something while she was gone. 

Upon arrival, there was a duffle bag on the couch and he was typing away on the couch beside it. He stopped to turn his head to her, raising his brows. 

“You’re back.” Was all he said as he watched her go to her room after picking up the empty bag. It was bulky.  

“Yeah.” After she reached the top of the stairs she could hear him resume his typing. The bag could carry all the clothes and necessities she required but hadn’t room left for her droid in progress and transceiver. Poking her head out, she called out for him. 

“Hey, Kylo?” 

“Yes, Rey?”  _ He must still be at the couch.  _

“I’m gonna need another bag.” She looked back into her room to the open bag already on her bed. His typing paused and she heard him stepping up the stairs briskly. 

“How can you be needing another bag?” He inquired in curiosity yet managing to give off an irritated vibe by the ever present creasing of his brows. She let him in and he walked to the bag he’d given her and scoffed. “Do you really need all this?” She wasn't sure if it was out of disgust or amazement. 

“Yes, I need everything in that bag.” She spoke assertively and zippered it, giving him a look that said ‘do you mind?’ 

“What do you even have in there?” 

“Clothes mostly, deodorant, my toothbrush, toothpaste, my hairbrush, spare hair ties, body spray, my special body wash I don’t let you use, etcetera.” 

“Etcetera?” He repeated. She sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Girl stuff.” For a moment he looked lost but then his brows rose and he stepped back, making way for the door.

“I’ll get you another bag, give me a minute or thirty.” Were his parting words. She stood, looking around her room for a time before beginning to organize and pack up her droid so it would be easy to put into the bag when she got it. Humming as she got to it she paused only when Kylo appeared at the door with the bag. 

“Thanks.” She supplied him before waiting for him to take the hint to leave. When he tilted his head and finally returned to what he was doing she was comfortable with packing the rest of what she was bringing along. Surprisingly the droid took up more room than she thought but she still managed to fit her transceiver. Sighing in contentment, she left the bags on her bed and headed to her garden. 

It was more her personal forest than anything. For her last birthday, Hux had gifted her full grown trees from different planets. They were beautiful but fully grown, they could fit cozily into the space. It was all green and peaceful. It was where she felt most comfortable meditating. With not so much as a passing comment, she passed Kylo who was once more typing away at a dizzying speed, and entered her haven. Breathing in the earthy air, she sighed. The plants felt like home. The process of photosynthesis amazed her. To be able to convert sunlight into foodstuffs was fascinating. Hux had given her lessons, of course, but seeing it happen right in front of her was a surreal feeling she never could get used to. Kicking off her shoes, she wiggled her toes into the cool grasses and loamy dirt. The feeling of it was euphoric and she stood still for a while before venturing deeper into her sanctuary. The branches and leaves blocked the sunlights that gave artificial sunlight in such a way that made it look natural. It looked as if sunlight was softly filtering through the leaves. Finding her favorite tree, she climbed the low branches, relishing in the slight give the branches gave when she put her weight on them once she got higher. Almost at her favorite long, thick branch to meditate on, she grunted as she lifted herself up. The spot where she typically sat was barkless and smooth. 

Easily, she slipped into meditation. She sat in the form her teacher, Anakin, had taught her. The nutrients flowing through the xylems of the flowers and trunks of the trees were rhythmically rising to the highest parts. Anyone that couldn’t feel the force would have no idea how it felt to experience such a natural process. Unintentionally, she swayed slowly with the motion of wind blowing the boughs of a tree. What was super cool about the garden Hux had fashioned was the air filtering. Instead of blowing the usual recycled air, it blew out the oxygen rich air that the plants produced. The air vents were hidden artfully behind the wall so it seemed as if real wind was blowing the trees. It was always soft with the occasional draft. Some of the air was used for other parts of the  _ Finalizer _ to make the most of it. 

Unbeknownst to Rey, she’d projected herself onto Kylo who sat frozen with eyes open but unseeing of the screen in front of him. His conscious panicked against such a large intrusion but he didn’t try to push it away. He let it take him over, it was more than pleasant. Kylo knew it was coming from his Darling in the next room and therefore safe. Something in the back of his mind protested vehemently but he couldn’t even acknowledge it when blinded with such radiance. He couldn’t feel how his eyes burned to blink or how he was tearing up from the beautiful happenings in his mind. It was too beautiful. 

  
Slowly yet surely it began to fade, and he felt a sense of panic well up inside his chest as reality gradually came to meet him as if he was free falling to the ground. 


	64. Chapter 64

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo asks a question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooop

He came back violently, the holopad clashing to the ground as he gasped like a fish for air, flailing on the couch like he was drowning. His eyes burned with a vengeance and his cheeks were taut with dried tears. Panic set in before he realized where he was, in his quarters and not dead. Against his will, a sense of loss and grief balled up in his stomach. Bewildered and lost, he headed to the fresher to wash his face. He staggered there in time to miss Rey coming out of her garden looking serenely calm, chatting on her commlink. Too wrapped up in himself, he didn’t hear her when she called for him or when she entered the space and reached for his forearm. A little gasp came from him at the sudden contact and he flinched from it. He could feel her anguish acutely as if it were his own. Regretting his pulling away, he bit his lip. 

“Are you alright? You look like a mess.” She buried her concern with cold disinterest. Her eyes betrayed her. 

“I’m fine. I’m fine.” He repeated breathlessly, wiping his face dry with his sleeve, scowling all the while. 

“Is there- is there something you need?” This seemed to draw her thoughts from his current state. He didn't dare tell her that she had been projecting. 

“Yes, actually. Hux rang and invited us over for lunch.” She regarded him before continuing. “You look like you need a good nap. Should I tell him you can't come so that you can get some rest? I'm sure he won't mind your absce--”

“No!” He bellowed unintentionally. “No, I'm going with you.” Smoothing down his frazzled hair, he stood akimbo before pushing past her into the living room. The holopad was a little worse for wear but proved to be still functional. Hux would give him an earful about taking care of delicate things, likely red faced as he did. Rey followed him out like a duckling following its mother and sat down on the other side of the couch. He ignored her presence as much as he could but that was hard when he could feel her eyes boring holes into his head. With a sigh, he paused his typing and looked at the time. It was nearly two hours until the time Hux called lunchtime. Taking the courage to turn his attention to her, she was staring at him with an unchanging neutral expression besides the eyes that appeared to be picking him apart with each little flick. 

“Don’t you have any to be doing instead of sitting here being an invalid?” She was unaffected by his attempt to push her away. Having grown tired of avoiding his newfound information about her teacher, he set aside his holopad and stared blankly back at her. “Is there something you'd like to tell me?” Rey could tell he knew more than he was letting on about whatever it was he was referring to. 

“No.” She eyed him, not liking the knowing look in his eyes. Her neutral gaze turned to one of wariness. Cursing herself, she noticed the slight narrowing of his eyes and clench of his jaw. Clearly, her companion had picked up on her change and was none too happy about it. 

“I'm going to ask you a simple question and I want you to answer plainly. Do you understand?” Even if she didn't, he would have asked. 

“I don’t understand, where is this coming from?” Only a short twitch of his nose allowed her to gauge his current mood. Since she finished meditating, he seemed to be off kilter, like he would lash out at any moment. His eyes when she approached him in the fresher were that of a cornered animal. Pouting just barely, she crossed her arms. Instead of raising his voice or getting in her face, he clenched his hands into tight fists before taking a slow, calming breath and relaxing them. When he spoke, it was with aplomb. 

“Who is your teacher, Rey?”  _ What? _ That had certainly threw her off guard and hit her like a wampa. Visibly, she pulled her head back at his question. Rey could feel him taking note of every twitch or telling idiosyncrasies. Calling on the force to calm her, as Anakin had showed her, she relaxed. 

“I believe I told you before that I am self taught. Is it really so impossible to you? Do you really think so little of me?” Even with the help of the force, she couldn't help but feel aggravated that he wouldn't believe her lie. His features softened minutely, mistaking her ire for hurt. When he spoke it was in low tones. 

“Rey, you know I think the world of you. It's just hard to believe you reached the level you're at all by yourself. I know you are strong with the force, perhaps even stronger than I. Do not think for one second that I can be fooled by you.” He gestured to his temple as if she needed to be reminded of their rare bond. Sometimes she wished they didn't have it. This was one of those times. There wasn't enough midichlorians in the galaxy to keep her stoic. A rancid thought came to mind,  _ I would be a terrible Jedi.  _ “I'll repeat my question: who is your teacher?” The fact that the tables were turned was not lost on her and him. Rey was usually the calm one. Kylo was the uncontrollable one. 


	65. Chapter 65

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been writing everyday for the last two months. I'm pretty proud of myself. Next week I'm starting my first job so I won't be able to write as much.

_ There is no way he doesn't already know. He just wants to make me look stupid. What an ass. Who told him? Did he find out on his own?  _ Rey mentally scoffed at the thought.  _ He's too blind and ignorant to have the time or brainpower to do that.  _

“You know,” his voice broke her from her thoughts, causing her to flick her eyes to his, “I wish you talked to me more.” The raising of her brow must have told him to elaborate. “I wish you told me things. Maybe then I wouldn't have to be told things by other people.” His focus was on a point above her head. 

“What have people been telling you? How can you be sure they're not lying?” From her position she could see the twitch of his brow, and the acute pulse of irritation in the force before it passed. 

“Just tell me the truth, Rey. I want to hear it from your mouth. Who has been teaching you?” Despite (or in spite) of his openness, she dug in her heels. 

“No one.” She sighed. His gaze was so intense she became uncomfortable. His eyes were set on her face and seemingly refused to look away. 

“I'm not mad, if that's what you're afraid of.” Perhaps she was afraid of his wrath. As far as she knew, she could measure his patience about as far as she could throw him. “You're not in trouble. Don't be afraid, Rey.” His voice was thick with measured gentleness. For a moment he gave her the opportunity to speak but upon her reluctance he revealed his source. “The Supreme Leader told me everything.” It was an overstatement but she wouldn't know that. Her eyes flashed at his words. 

“Then there should be no need for me to say anything.” She made to leave but he grabbed her arm and made her sit down. He didn't do it roughly or forcefully but gave her a gentle tug back to the couch. Having lost her opportunity for escape, she sat resigned to being punished. 

“You're missing the point. I want to hear it from you. Tell me who your teacher is.” It was no longer a question, but a demand. If anything, Rey was loyal to her friends. Her obstinacy would prove it. “Fine. You don't have to tell me now but you will tell me before the end of our break. Do you understand?” She side eyed him and took the moment to leave. Once she was out of the area, he melted into the couch with a sigh and an arm draped over his face. _Stubborn, stubborn, stubborn girl._ _I should tell Asajj of my vacation._ And so he did. She was none too happy about such short notice but was happy for him nonetheless. He got back to work.

\-----

Rey spent the time before lunch with Hux by practicing the drills Anakin had taught her. She was ever grateful for his tutelage, despite his long absences. With a look at the chrono, she gave herself a break. There was thirty minutes tops for her to clean up. Every minute was valuable. She didn't have time for the long, relaxing fresher trip she'd usually take that lasted nearly an hour. She'd have to do with a short one that would take ten minutes. Then, she had fifteen minutes to dry her hair and dress. With five minutes left to spare she went back to the living room to find Ren still at work.

“What are you doing? We have-- two minutes if you want to get there in time.” It took three minutes to reach Hux’s place. He looked at her bewildered by her presence. 

“He can wait.” Kylo rose and headed to the fresher with a grumble. Rey guffawed audibly.

“Hux is a busy man. It's rude to be late anyway.” Rey scolded.  _ He's like a youngling _ . 

“Well I am also a busy man. He can handle me being a bit tardy to his lunch. He's a big boy.” He yelled from the fresher as he turned on the water. Clearly, he wasn't going to be ready any time soon. 

“Whatever, I'm going there now.” Rey told him. She left without waiting for a reply. 

\-----

After a meal filled with passive aggressive sass, Rey and Ren returned to their shared quarters. He'd arrived halfway through the meal prepared with a lie. She'd glanced at him knowingly as he orated it. Hux had been righteously offended. Kylo Ren, the infamous avoider of paperwork and all things deskjobby, had been typing up notes and such. Kylo was in no way about to admit such a thing. He told Hux he had been sleeping and that he didn't care for the lunch in the first place. That had been what set the mood for the meal. 

“I think that went pretty well.” Kylo remarked, heading for his room. Rey rose a brow. “What?”  _ Playing the innocent game, huh?  _ She thought. 

“Don't what me, Kylo. I saw how you were egging him on.” The corner of his lips curved up charmingly and his eyes twinkled so much like Leia's that she gasped quietly as he left her in the living room. Rey found that she hadn't anything to do. Her droid was packed away along with her transceiver. For the first time in a while, she was bored. Her mind wandered. 

_ What's he doing up there? I hope he's going to get some sleep. The fool. Who stays up all night and spends the whole time working? Probably Brendol, actually. He's the very definition of a workaholic. I'm surprised he even eats. I've never seen him in anything but his uniform. Does he sleep? If he's human, then he has to. But does he? I wonder how he got his peculiar hair color. Are his parents both redheads? Is just one of them? It's genetic and inherited, I know that. He's taught me all that. Why do they fight all the time? Kylo and him are like night and day. They'd actually make a good team if they just stopped arguing all the time. Stubborn fools-- _

_ Rey, can you maybe think quieter?  _ Kylo’s voice echoed in her head. His exhaustion was evident by the lethargy that was coming from him. It was weird that she had to think about his request. Should she block her thoughts better, or should she turn it around onto him for trying to sleep in the middle of the day? She chose the former. 

  
_ Alright, may you dream of clear skies.  _


	66. Chapter 66

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner for two.

To pass the time she decided to water her plants. A dial on the wall near the entrance allowed for water to be sprayed from the ceiling onto the awaiting greenery. It dripped from the highest leaves to the loamy soil gradually, allowing for the most absorption to take place. When she watered the place, the air was more humid than usual. The place had a strong smell of petrichor and so she basked in it, shutting her eyes as she breathed it in. Rey was in her element.

Thankfully, her relaxed meditation hadn't stirred Kylo from his slumber. If it had, both of them would be disgruntled. Tomorrow morning they would be enroute to Naboo. Leia, ever the spry one, had suggested wearing a disguise. The idea, in theory, was solid but Rey didn't think Kylo would be so dimwitted and fall for it. He was, despite his countless flaws, a bright man. 

An indeterminate amount of time passed, after her stomach growled she snapped out of her meditation. Rushing to turn off the gentle misting water she'd unwittingly left on, she distantly hoped her low lying plants would be okay. Upon reaching the kitchenette Rey scratched her stomach absentmindedly as she searched for something to eat. It was around dinner time. Kylo was unsurprisingly still sleeping soundly in his room.  _ He's going to mess up his sleeping pattern-- wait, why do I care? _ She scowled at herself. _ He’s a grown man, he can take care of himself. Even if he is an idiot. _ A stupid, stupid idiot who needed to make her dinner. With a groan she drug herself up the steps. For some reason, they seemed extra steep and strenuous. She didn’t bother knocking and walked in to wake him. He slept shirtless but with sleep pants. His lightly speckled back was visible, the blanket was push to his hips, and he was hugging the pillow beneath his head. The sight was humorous, she couldn’t help but let out a snicker. A snicker that woke him, somehow. 

“Rey?” He woke with a start, not moving but drawing in a sharp breath and freezing until she confirmed it was her.

“It’s me, it’s basically dinner time. I came to wake you.” She stood, awkwardly shifting on her feet. He groaned and rolled over, his eyelids still heavy with sleep as he measured her up. Black tresses spread on his face and pillow, it was a nice sight. Kylo wasn’t too bad on the eyes, Rey knew that much. Only she was able to see him like this, no one else. When his eyes began to droop closed again she shook him by his shoulder gently which evoked a sharp whine as he fought to fall back asleep. “I'm hungry. Make dinner.” Losing all hope of falling back asleep, he glared halfheartedly at her. “Are you gonna get up or do I have to drag you to the kitchen?” That got a hoot of annoyance, but he did sit up in bed. His calloused hands rubbed his eyes as he yawned and stretched. As if the room was new to him, he looked around from the dressers to the holoscreen hung on the wall. Once more, he rubbed sleep from his eyes. Kylo never did like the waking up aspect of sleeping. It was always a struggle. The man was a slumbering bear. Eventually, she did manage to coax him out of his bedroom but he didn’t bother putting on a shirt and was walking around half naked, not that she cared much. 

“Today seems like a breakfast for dinner day. Don’t you say?” He asked gruffly, his voice still gravelly from sleep. His unruly hair was a mess and it was quite comical, so she smiled. He took it as a confirmation for breakfast for dinner and set to work. It was always nice to watch him cook, Kylo was a natural chef. It wasn’t necessary, they could have droids bring food, but she liked his hand cooked meals the best. He always humored her in that sense. Dinner together was a ritual in its own right. Usually they didn’t talk much, but sometimes they would discuss anything exciting that happened. His muscles rippled beneath his skin, his freckled back moved with them. The muscles of his shoulders and upper back were sculpted from years of hard work. 

“Not gonna have a caf?” She prompted, wanting to break the silence. Without turning around he halted for a moment but soon returned to cooking.

“No, I won’t be able to sleep. You should get to bed at a reasonable time and be prepared to start the day early. We’re leaving at 0600 hours.” He rambled. “Sleep is the most important thing if you want to grow healthy and strong. You must have at least eight hours of sleep at your age. Missing sleep can cause heart problems later in life. Think smart and get your sleep.” She was only half listening at this point. Before long, he finished cooking up their breakfast for dinner.

“We’re really going to be okay going to Naboo?” They had began to eat, and at her quiet question he stopped mid chew before frowning sharply in consternation.

“What do you mean? Of course we’re going to be alright. The Supreme Leader--” Rey held up a hand to cut him off.

“I don’t mean it like that. I mean, are you certain we’re welcome?” One of the last things Rey wants to do is to impose. If they weren’t welcome, then she’d have them respectfully go elsewhere. Nodding, he wiped his mouth of a napkin. 

  
“Of course we are! We should still keep a low profile though. If you want to go into populated areas, I’ll have to be in disguise lest our vacation be rudely interrupted by a fire fight.” If he hadn’t meant to sound world-weary, he certainly failed. Swallowing her protestations with her meal, she ate in silence. 


	67. Chapter 67

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo hates mornings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Went to my boyfriend's junior prom yesterday. It was fun

Rey could feel him studying her as she ate, not once looking up at him. She wasn’t sure she was thankful or disappointed that he didn’t break the silence. The meal ended uneventfully and they both retreated to their relative rooms with little more than a good night. 

\-----

He was sleeping again, despite having slept the previous day away. It was an hour and a half before six in the morning.  _ I ought to wake him. _ She was laying in her bed, staring at the ceiling.  _ I wonder what Anakin’s doing.  _ She blushed into the darkness before making for Kylo’s room. Upon entering, he had an arm slung off the side of the bed and he laid on his stomach. Even in the low lights Rey could see the faint sign of drool on his pillowcase.  _ What a child. _ She smiled and nudged his conscious through their bond. For some reason, she felt that he would lash out if she shook him awake even though she did just that not even twelve hours ago. 

_ Hey, it’s four thirty-four. Wake up.  _ She waited for a response but none came.  _ Rise and shine, princess.  _ She joked. This made him furrow his brows unconsciously.  _ Time to get up, Almighty, terrifying Sith Lord. _ .. _ more like shitlord _ . His eyes sprang open at the jab. “What, you didn’t like that?” Rey crossed her arms with a smirk. He sat up and ran his fingers through his messy hair. 

“Why would I like being referred to as a ‘shitlord’? It’s too early for your jeers. I’m tired. Let me get dressed. You should do the same.” He waved his door open and gestured for her to leave. She didn’t.

“I showered last night. You haven’t showered since lunch time yesterday. You should use the fresher.” That was when she chose to take her leave, swinging the door shut as she left. Kylo could tell she was excited to get off the  _ Finalizer _ .  _ At least she'll be with me. _ He told himself to ward off any worries about her safety. He'd managed to coerce the current queen of Naboo to allow him usage of the lakeside estate his grandmother had been fond of. She was paid handsomely for keeping her mouth shut about it. 

After they showered, dressed, and ate a small breakfast, Kylo lugged Rey's two bags for her. He'd already have a couple pairs of clothes in his cabin so he didn't see the need to pack any. All the amenities he ever needed were aboard. His mask was adorned. It was the reason he was carrying her bags himself instead of ordering someone else to do it. He had an odd penchant for punishing himself. In another world with different circumstances, perhaps it would be kinky. The mask made Rey uncomfortable, that he knew. What he didn't know was why. She'd helped design it herself. 

Her chipper steps floundered, causing him to bump into her since she was walking ahead of him. He muttered a protest before feeling the air grow thick. It was her doing, he could tell. The reason for the switch was the woman he grew to know as a sister. Asajj Ren stood straight faced beside his shuttle. She wasn't coming along. Asajj and Snoke had both said she wasn't, yet there she was, waiting for them. 

For Kylo, it was a struggle to remain composed. As Rey and himself drew closer, just breathing began to feel like drowning. It took a moment to push Rey’s distaste and loathing from his mind. Rey turned and balked at him, having not noticed her barriers weren't up, before schooling herself. 

_ She isn't coming with us, right?  _ Rey thought to him, maintaining eye contact through his tinted visor as she did. Since Asajj was Rey's most loathed individual besides Snoke, Rey would never appear weak in front of the wench. Her eyes narrowed as he looked away. Neither Asajj Ren nor Rey acknowledged each other's presence. Both of them stared intently at Kylo as if daring him to start something or say the wrong thing. 

_ She's not supposed to, as far as I know.  _ He replied to her before speaking out loud for Asajj to hear. “Asajj, is there something important to prompt your presence right before we leave? If it's not entirely pressing then wait for my return.”

“Kylo.” Asajj began, tilting her chin up. “There are rumors of a Republic banquet being held on Naboo while you are there. The Supreme Leader would like you to investigate and report any findings you may encounter.” She bowed and excused herself with one self satisfied smirk to Rey who's jaw hung at the gall. 

“What an intolerable, spiteful--” Rey mumbled but Kylo could hear her and held up a disapproving finger to stop her.

“None of that now. We're going to have... fun, we're going to relax.” He struggled with the word fun as if it hurt to say it. 

“But Asajj said--” 

“Shh, don't worry about what she said. And stop frowning, your face is going to stay like that if you don't. It's the truth, just look at Hux. You see the lines.” His lips upturned beneath his helmet at how her eyes widened. Only once inside did he finally remove it with a laugh, setting her bags aside, and watching her move to the copilot's seat as if she flew his shuttle all the time. “What do you think you're doing? Go strap down in the common.” He patted her shoulder as he spoke and took his seat in the pilot's chair. When she didn’t move and actually got even more comfortable, he shrugged. 

“No way! I want to help fly. I’m an excellent pilot.” Rey boasted proudly, buckling herself in. 

  
“Did the flight sim tell you that?” He jested because she never actually flew an actual ship. A scowl was what that earned. 


	68. Chapter 68

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tender moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I missed the opportunity to make the joke yesterday so... IT'S MAYYY... I try, alright. I start work tomorrow!!! :D

Rey eyes were alight as she basically vibrated in her seat as she felt the ship leave the tarmac. Kylo was happy. Either it was his own joy or hers trickling over, he didn't care. His eyes gained a twinkle and crinkled at the corners as he took them from the hangar. Rey had said she'd be helping, but she was too enraptured to do anything but balk at the view from the transparisteel. Faintly, he could remember his first memory of space travel with his father--  _ Han Solo the scoundrel _ . He brought himself out of his good mood but it didn't dim Rey's excitement. 

“Make sure your restraints are securely on. We're going to be making the jump to hyperspace.” He forewarned, preparing the necessary drives aboard. 

“Huh? Oh, right.” She was still overwhelmed by the vastness of space despite having lived most of her life on the  _ Finalizer.  _ Kylo triple checked her before securing his own, thanking all the different deities he heard of for letting them safely into it. He let out a silent huff as he put it into autopilot. Rey was uncharacteristically quiet at his side, prompting him to look over. Her eyes seemed glazed as if she were in a trance and her mouth hung loosely open. The passing streams of light made her eyes seem alive as they reflected off of them. “This is nothing like in the holotapes.” She sighed breathlessly. The sight was trivial to him so it hurt even more to remember how untraveled she was. Swallowing his guilt, he stood after undoing his fastens. It got her attention. She followed suit and was soon standing beside him. 

“You can keep watching if you want. I'm going to be setting up a game of dejarik in a bit. Would you--would you like to play with me?” He asked timidly as a child, staring at the floor instead of her. He'd arranged for decks of Pazaak and Sabbac and other games to be brought aboard when he'd ordered for her bags. 

“I'd like that.” She said, turning her attention back to the viewport. When he looked up she was already sitting back down. “Tell me when it's set up. I don't know how to play, so you'll have to teach me.” A pleasant warmth came over him and he struggled to keep his sudden glee to himself. She'd let him teach her how to play. He wasn't the best at it himself, having never really won a game in his past life, but he was ecstatic all the same. At least he'd be able to claim that he taught her something. 

“Yes, of course. Enjoy the view, Starlight.” 

\-----

“I don't get it.” Rey huffed in frustration after his brief explanation of the rules of the game. Every move she tried, Ben told her it was an illegal move. She could feel the mirth in the twitch of his lips as he bit them to stop from smiling too hard. “Explain to me why I can't do what I just tried to do.” 

“It's against the rules.” She scowled in displeasure. “Hey, I didn't make the rules. Don't get mad at me.” The two of them were set up in the common room. While she was marveling in the lines of light from distant suns, he'd changed into more relaxed clothing. 

He'd asked for one of her ties when he fetched her and he currently sat with his hair in a knot at the back of his head. His bangs and a few rogue hairs were free. It was the first time she'd seen him have his hair like that. Admittedly, it made him appear like a rascal. A very debonair look yet it belied that he was rough around the edges. It fit him well. There was yet to be a hint of stubble growing.  _ He must have shaved before we left _ .

Rey was growing very tired of the game, indeed. All she felt like doing was exploring Naboo with her... friend? Brother? The closest thing to a parent she had? A breathy sound drew her attention. It was Ben. 

“I'm guessing you're done playing for now?” 

“Yeah, sorry.” For some reason she felt compelled to apologize to him. 

  
“Bah.” He waved so as to say it was no problem. She retreated to his cabin to fiddle with her droid, leaving him to clean up. He didn't understand what he was doing wrong. Dejarik held fond memories in his past life. He sighed and buried his face in his hands before he made a move to clean up. She'd isolated herself from him yet again.  _ What the hell am I doing wrong!? _ He held back a groan as he got to work cleaning up. The time during space travel wasn't for everyone. People went stir crazy. Being confined to a small closed space can very well drive a person to murder. Kylo was not so weak, neither was Rey. 


	69. Chapter 69

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo tries. He really does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing is more satisfying to write than a frustrated papa Kylo.

It wasn't that she didn't like spending quality time with him. She just didn't know what to do. Should she laugh when she found something funny, or would he blow a gasket? There was a lingering sense of guilt for leaving him to clean up all by his lonesome. Her bags were in the corner beside the big bed. After rummaging through the first and finding it to be the one filled with clothes, she moved to the other one and took out her droid. QT-2 was a bit heavy to lug around. It was small but it was cumbersome. The parts she'd brought were in the cargo hold. Using the force to facilitate lifting it, she waved the door open with a finger. 

“Do you need help there?” She heard him ask carefully. The offer was a relief and she briskly nodded as she huffed from exertion. Pounds of weight were lifted from her arms as if it were only ounces to him. Her arms felt like jelly at her sides. “Where to?” 

“The cargo bay. All the parts are there.” He didn't waste a second before heading to it. 

“This is a bit heavy, don't you think? How did you manage to even pick it up? You look too lanky for it.” Rey rolled her eyes for his unnecessary comment.

“The force helped me.” This put a hamper on his jovial mood. Apparently it was still a sore topic. She'd hoped he'd forget but he hadn't. In fact, he couldn't stop thinking about it. The idea of someone teaching her things without his knowing enraged him to the point he was silent, beyond screaming or taking his anger out on inanimate objects. A pure, white hot flame in his core. He'd done his best to hide it from her but she could still tell he was upset by the way he scowled without looking at her, only straight ahead. 

“Here we go.” Kylo huffed as he set the unfinished droid down beside a few large boxes of miscellaneous parts. He stepped back as she stepped forward. Her concentration was palpable, he hadn't realized he was standing there dumbly and sought to break the silence. “Does this,” he gestured to the droid, “does it have a name? Have you named it?” She nodded weakly. “What's it called?” He crouched beside her. The innards of the droid were still visible and tangled. 

“QT-2. She's going to be my friend.” She revealed, finding her hands very interesting before reaching inside a box. He cleared his throat with a light cough. 

“That's a-- That's a good name. Its very ingenious of you to fashion your own followers.” 

“She won't be my follower, I may be her creator but she will be my  _ friend _ .” Clearly he'd said the wrong thing and bit the inside of his cheek. 

“What was the inspiration for the name? QT sounds a lot like cutie, you know.” He changed the subject with about as subtly as a rancor. He watched as her cheeks turned furiously red with a scowl. 

“Can you leave so I can focus?” She spat. 

“Of course. Sorry for trying to have a civil conversation.” He made to leave and muttered under his breath. “Why do I even try?” She heard him and shot up to follow. 

“Excuse me!? What do you mean you're trying!? Do you really think a game of dejarik and a few normal talks can erase the fact you kill people for a living? Not even a vacation can erase the fear in those troopers eyes.” With a growl, he spun around. She ran into his chest like she walked into a wall. 

“I said, I am trying.” His voice was threateningly low. “I would appreciate if you didn't undermine my efforts to make it up to you.” She couldn't think of a response before he took a few long strides and was gone from the space. His anger was still tangible as if he was in front of her. A crashing clash of metal breaking caused her to jump. He was lashing out. In deep, dark space, his actions could kill them both. Urgency urged her to find him. She found him throwing things around the cabin. A desklamp, chrono, etcetera. At the sound of her approach he stopped, clenching his fists and heaving as he waited for her to come into view. “Come to berate me again, Rey?” His voice was ragged and hoarse, his nostrils flaring. At first her eyes widened but then she frowned gravely. Kylo twitched under her disapproving glare. 

“If you keep on like that, you'll eventually kill us. Could you at least  _ try _ to vent your never ending rage in a nondestructive way?” Initially, he was affronted by the idea. The pleading look she had made him calm enough to consider her.

“Like what?” It didn't mean to seem like he was pleading to her, but it did because of how close to a whisper it was. 

“Like... you could train. Maybe you could exercise out your anger. That way, you wouldn't be causing thousands of credits a week in damages by destroying every terminal on the  _ Finalizer.”  _ She spoke dryly but it was true. He gulped and looked at the mess he created. Slowly, he closed his eyes and sighed through his nose.

“Would you like it if I tried that instead? Would it make you happy?” He nearly whimpered, raising his face to stare at her. He'd tipped his chin up in false confidence but his eyes laid his soul out for her to see. Kylo, Rey could tell, was unsure and more than a bit apprehensive but he would do anything to be in her good graces again. 

  
“Yes. I would be very happy. If you are truly going to change your habits, I will help you.” She beamed. 


	70. Chapter 70

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weird mind tricks at play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're at the beginning of a bright arch!!

The following days were especially trying. They had spent an entire day planning different things he could do to curb his anger. They'd disagreed on the very foundations of the plan. 

“Rey, only Jedi withhold their feelings. I am to be a master of the dark side, I have to allow myself to act on my emotions.” 

“Do darksiders also take care of others? Do they like Corellian apple pie? Do they sleep until midday because they can't bear to wake up early?” He pursed his lips in frustration but said nothing. “I didn't think so.” 

He hadn't protested again until they were eating dinner that day. 

“The Sith code states that there is no peace, only passion. This debacle is about being peaceful. It goes against the very foundations of--” 

“If I remember correctly,” she interrupted casually, “the Sith are allowed to feel emotions, but, they aren't ruled by them as you are. The Sith use them. The Sith harness their emotions and focus them into something useful. Do you think your tantrums are a benefit? Is the brief satisfaction Sithlike? I think not. I think it's just immature and a poor imitation of the Sith. 

“If your  _ master _ is so wise, he would do to teach you the truth of the Sith. He teaches you to turn pain into power but pain is momentary. You’re utter shite at meditation-- which is essential for both Jedi and Sith alike. You preach that impulsive decisions are the pinnacle of Sithdom, but I wonder if you even know what a true Sith is like.” She spoke evenly, not one ounce of a lie in her words. His face went red all the same. 

“There's no way you read all that.” She sighed in exasperation.

“You're right,  _ Kylo _ . There is no way I'd know all that without a teacher.” She chuckled sardonically. “Oh, but, that would mean whoever my teacher is is better than yours, huh?” She patted his hand with false sincerity before going back to eating. The fact that he forked at his food and tore at his bread with unnecessary force wasn't lost by her. It was proving her point further. His especially intense gaze throughout the meal didn't bother her either. He wouldn't do anything to her and she took advantage of it. 

“So you do admit to having a secret master?” He asked quietly after a time. By the way she took in a deep breath, he knew he'd caught her. 

“Did you not hear the sarcasm, or are you just that thick?” The cocky halfsmirk grew into a scowl. “Are you done?” As if nothing had happened, she asked and picked up his plate after a brief nod from him.  _ What a child _ . Kylo leaned his head against his crossed arms at the table. She was infuriating and he wanted to lash out but he knew she would not tolerate it one bit so he resigned himself to doing breathing exercises. 

_ Supreme Leader isn't unwise. He's the most wizened, wise person I know. He would never lie or hide information from me. He trusts me. He's my master. Anakin is just a fool. I can't believe Rey believes a word he says. He's a turncoat. Supreme Leader Snoke is steadfast. He's been a darksider for centuries. The force sustains him. Supreme Leader Snoke would not lie to me. Through passion I gain strength.  _

A voice that was neither his own nor Rey's spoke. 

_ Do you really think that? Do you think Rey would lie to you? Snoke hasn't lived for so long only telling truths. He's lived long enough to see governments form and collapse. He is wise in that respect. Does he trust you? No. He may say he does, but he does not tell whole truths. He never has.  _ Kylo shot up from his seat and fell over, taking the seat with him. Rey rushed back to find him on his back, trying to get back up. 

“Force, are you alright?” Her concerned voice asked. He was too disoriented to speak so he shook his head yes and let her help him up. Once he was seated again, she dared to inquire. “What happened?” For some unknown reason he couldn't stop the words from tumbling out his mouth. 

“I was reflecting on what you said about Snoke and Anakin.” Rey stiffened and became wary as he continued. “He was a deserter, a traitor. He betrayed the Jedi Order. He slew younglings. And yet, I feel as if he is more forthright than my master.” His brows grew together in confusion. “You-- you weren't lying to me. You only spoke the truth. The voice said so...” He gulped and shook his head. “I must have hit my head when I fell. I think-- I think I'm going to turn in for the night.” On unsteady legs he lumbered down the corridor, leaning on the wall at times to steady himself. As soon as he reached the bed, he collapsed as if someone had willed him into unconsciousness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, I may have broken my finger. Good job, me.


	71. Chapter 71

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the first time in what seems like forever, the man who became Kylo Ren was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My finger isn't broken but it is a bit swollen.

_ What just happened? _ Rey was left standing at the table in a daze. She'd turned her back to dispose of their plates and he was on the ground. Shutting her eyes she sat in his seat and leaned her head in her hands and her elbows on her knees.  _ What just happened? Something about Snoke and Anakin--  _ She gasped and covered her mouth.  _ He knows. Of course he knows. _ She smacked her forehead.  _ I'm such a fool. Force help me, he knows. What do I do? He was in such a stupor, what if he doesn't remember later? That'd be ideal. It's farfetched.  _ It was common for her to argue with herself when she was alone.  _ Is he asleep?  _ She closed her eyes and felt him out. He was, indeed, in a state of rest. Whether it was sleep or a coma or a brain thing, she didn't know. Her young self assumed it was sleep, but she had to make sure. Hux had told her about head injuries and if Kylo had hit his head he could have a concussion.  _ Yes, that's what it was. That was why he was acting so funny.  _ She told herself as she entered his room. He looked as if he'd flopped onto the bed. Check for a pulse, check for breathing. His heart was beating and he was breathing. She let out a sigh of relief. At least he wasn't foolishly dying from such a small thing. She left him to rest more and headed to the cargo hold to work on her droid more. It was coming along well.

\-----

The only thing different when he woke up was that he complained of a pounding headache. It was like when he was hungover thanks to Hux except Hux wasn't here.  _ Go figure, the day we're supposed to be arriving, he's ill. _ She snorted humorously to herself. He'd pulled on civilian clothes from somewhere and he looked like another tourist when they took a detour to Theed. He wore a dark blue tunic with an off white undershirt with matching pants and tall dark brown leather boots. She could tell he was uncomfortable being out without his helmet but she could hardly give a care. 

Rey was tugging them through a crowded marketplace. 

“There are so many people! Look at that!” She was off the walls happy, the happiest he'd seen her in years. He smiled at her elation and humored her, his pain gone. 

“Yes, Sunshine, I see it.” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. 

“This is amazing, Kyl--” He covered her mouth with one large hand. 

“Shh! Please, for the love of god, do not call me that in front of people.” Ben pleaded, looking around and hoping no one heard her. Satisfied that no one appeared to be staring, he released her face with a sigh. 

“I'm sorry.” He ruffled her hair and smiled. 

“Hungry?” She nodded furiously. 

“Starving.” They ate at a restaurant that served local dishes. She ate like a beast, trying every new thing she could. It was a sight to behold. Kylo couldn't help but forget about his own food and watch her eat in fascination. She ate like a person starved but he knew she was well fed. 

“Why are you eating like that?” Rey paused the stuffing of her mouth long enough to answer. 

“I don't know the next time I'll be able to try so many foods.” He didn't bother correcting her improper grammar. His jaw clenched as he tried not to frown. He had a feeling that the whole trip would make him feel guilty for some reason or another. The most torturous part was that she didn't mean to make him feel that way. “Try this.” She held out a pastry for him to eat. It was bitesize. At his blank stare at it, she urged him to have it. It looked absolutely mouthwatering but he'd been wrong before. Looks can be deceiving. He prepared himself for the worst-case scenario and ate it in one bite. Immediately his mouth was bombarded by different fruity yet sweet flavors. He could taste the fluffy cream and the baked dough vividly. He let out a groan and savored it. “Isn't it good?” His mouth was too full to speak so he gave her a very obvious nod. She smiled proudly, her mouth and fingers sticky and messy. 

\-----

He couldn't remember being so happy in his life. His cheeks hurt from disuse. A smile was glued to his face. Rey's energy and bubbly clumsiness made him laugh so hard his sides hurt and tears were brought to his eyes. When they'd went to a clothing boutique to get some clothes, she gave him a little fashion show. She posed exaggeratedly and the outrageous things she chose to try on only made it funnier. 

“Are you going to buy anything, sir?” The attendant asked after some time had passed. She probably thought they were going to shoplift or were going to be disorderly. The worker couldn't look him in the eye for more than half a second. Her cheeks flushed and he smirked. Her reaction to him certainly fed his ego. Rey saw and rolled her eyes, deciding to shop seriously. 

“Yes, I apologize for fooling around too much. If it is any consolation, I must tell you that your selection is... varied. Are they from different cities?” His voice was velvety. Rey's brow twitched. She knew what he was doing. She may be green, but she knew flirting when she saw it. It must be an instinct. Her lips pulled into a frown as she wrapped herself possessively around his back, her head peeking from beneath his armpit. 

“Ben, can we get this dress?” She pointed to a soft gold dress with an accompanying sheer sash. It looked about her size. 

“Of course, anything for you.” He purred, ignoring the attendant. 

“Is she yours?” The woman chirped sweetly. Kylo didn't bother looking at her and instead pulled the garment from the rack.

  
“Oh, I don't know. Who is this girl clinging to me so tightly? Are you mine?” He joked. Rey giggled loudly to deter the worker. “We'll be buying this.” 


	72. Chapter 72

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm runnin low on chapter reserves. God bless fallout fics tho. Star wars is life.

Rey hummed a tune he couldn't place a name on as they left the shop with their purchase. It had been expensive but was probably worth less than he'd bought it for. It was no matter. Rey was happy. That was all that mattered.

“It's getting late, we should head for our destination before dark.” He said, watching the sky. 

“Will we be able to see those huge waterfalls again? They were wizard.” She beamed and he mirrored her. 

\-----

They did see the colossal falls again. He'd even let the ship hover in front of them with a cloak on to let her marvel for a while longer without drawing any attention. It wasn't lost on him, the natural majesty of the famous falls. He'd have cried at the sight, if he were a better man, but he knew too much of darkness to be so weak. Still, Kylo could appreciate the serenity of the violence of the feature. They both found comfort in watching the water cascade down the sheer cliffside. By the time they reached the secluded villa the sun was all but gone; dimming red and orange streaks turning into violet and blue night. Through the bond he could feel her exhaustion from the day. It'd been more than she was used to. It was understandable, so he graciously carried her junk to where they would be staying. Two trips for her two bags plus the hulking containers of parts. The clothes he'd be wearing were already prepared. His usual attire wasn't to be worn. 

“Thank you. Arrrrre we going to have dinner?” She yawned, taking a seat at the edge of her bed. They had separate rooms right next to each other, both with luxurious balconies overlooking the grand river the place was built off of. He hung her dress up on the closet door. It was bagged to protect it, but the color was still faintly visible beneath the white fabric of the bag. 

“If you're up to it. I can have them bring dinner here, if you want.” She nodded wordlessly and looked around the room that would be hers for the next month. Everything was a soft earthy color but in different tones. The wooden floor was a warm beige and the dark wooden bed frame sat upon a matching rectangle rug that had intricate designs woven in. The fading sun shown through the open balcony, casting light onto the far wall. The distinct scent of nature blew in with the faint breeze blowing from the shore. She felt sleep pulling her but fought it as she had been for the last hour. Kylo had explained to her that the reason he had the cloak on his shuttle was because Naboo had a strict no flying policy on certain zones. She had no reason not to believe him. “Would you like that, Rey?” He pulled her attention back to the conversation. 

“Huh? Oh, yes. Somehow I'm peckish even after our large lunch earlier. Will you be eating with me?” Kylo held his hands behind his back as he nodded and left to alert the staff of their decision. Rey had a chuckle at the thought of him asking a hapless servant to deliver their meals so directly. The thought quickly passed as she recalled the events leading up to the vacation. Her mood turned sour. To her misfortune, that's when he came back. 

“What's wrong?” Kylo asked, sitting on the edge of her bed and flicking on the holoscreen. 

“Just tired.” She wasn't completely lying, for she really was exhausted. He grunted in acknowledgment. 

“Dinner will be ready shortly, they told me. I told them you were tired so they're not going to go all out today. What do you want to watch?”

“Anything.” Was her initial response, but then she narrowed it down. “A documentary or biography of Naboo and it's people. I'm curious about the culture after today.” Absentmindedly, Rey undid her three buns. Kylo instinctively used the force to fetch her brush from her bag and held it out to her. When she'd caught on to why he was holding his hand out in the direction of her bags, she'd hoped for him to brush the knots of the day out of her hair for her. He didn't do that though, opting instead to hand her the brush. 

“Thank you.” Her sigh hid her disappointment, he thought she was relieved to not have to get up. Pleased with himself being such a gentleman, he found a documentary about his grandmother. It wasn't hard, she had been one of the most beloved figures of Naboo afterall. There were countless ones to choose from. Apparently, even after her unfortunate demise, her people still worshiped her like a deity. Rey was both curious yet repulsed by his choice. She didn't care much for her master's chosen partner. She didn't have anything against her but petty jealousy. 

Much like clockwork, the servants arrived, meals in tow. Kylo made a sharp remark but she couldn't quite catch it. All she felt from him was embarrassment and discomfort, probably from being maskless. The servants basically fled as soon as the food was handed over to the tall, intimidating man. 

“You know, the lady we bought the dress from fancied you.” Rey murmured as they ate on her bed. “She kept looking at you like this.” She then made doe eyes to the air. 

“So she did.” Clearly, he'd rather not talk about it. 

  
“You were quite the charmer. I could have mistaken you for a swindler.” He snorted at that. “What, it's true.” He didn't say anything but she could see his ears redden. Even without the bond, she could read him like a book. She was too tired to press further, instead resigning herself to finishing her meal. 


	73. Chapter 73

Kylo could tell when she had fallen asleep even without looking at her. He could simply feel it. After they ate, he took their trash to the disposal slot, and took his leave. Now, he was working on reports again. As spent as he was, he'd rather do the reports while she slept than to take time together away. The sun had gone down completely some time ago, he wrote by the light of a lamp. He couldn't focus and sighed, setting the holopad aside. Since they've arrived, he hadn't had a moment to think. 

_ He's teaching her, my grandfather... Snoke wasn't lying.  _

_ Of course he wasn't lying, you fool.  _ He argued with himself.  _ The Supreme Leader is wise.  _

_ When I thought up this plan, it was his doing. Vader was in my head, planting his seeds. The Supreme Leader said so. But why would Vader do that? Surely, he doesn't care so much for her? It'd be unmasterly to hold such affections. Then again, Anakin did leave the order out of such connections. Perhaps... he isn't going to harm her? Why would he harm her? Has he been telling her lies?  _ He sat up at that, he'd been reclining in bed.  _ Is that why she's so contrary to everything I say?  _ Kylo was getting himself riled up over nothing.  _ That kriffing bastard, how dare he turn my Rey against me!? _

“Ben, can you calm the kriff down!? I'm trying to sleep over here.” Came Rey's voice through the wall. He was startled but he did relax some. “I swear... childish... of a man... trying to... rude...” He could only pick up snippets of her rambling. He swallowed a lump in his throat before closing his eyes and willing himself to calm down. It worked, but sleep would still evade him for some time.

\-----

Rey awoke at the crack of dawn, confused and anxious because of the unfamiliar surroundings until her head cleared enough to remember they were at Naboo. The sun was beginning to rise. She could tell because of how the trees were being lit. Her room smelled crisp, like morning dew on grass. Kylo was still asleep. Force knows when he finally did. 

Her dress was still hung and Rey smiled when she laid her eyes on the bag. It was beautiful.  _ For the banquet. _ But, when was the banquet? She'd have to ask Kylo. Brushing her teeth and doing her hair, she was fixing to take a walk around the place to learn the layout. It turned out to quite expansive. For courtesy's sake, she introduced herself to the staff and apologized in advance for Ben's attitude problem. They'd given her a light breakfast per her request. The day was still young when she retraced her steps to their rooms. He was still asleep. She let herself into his room. 

“Wake up, wake up.” She softly said as she tapped his shoulder. A grunt. “Come on, you were going to take me down to the river today. Get up, lazy bones.” A whine this time, so she lumbered onto the bed and jumped. “I. Said. Wake. Up.” Rey said between jumps. This got him up with a start. “You're really hard to wake up.” He rubbed his eyes and looked around with a scowl. 

“The time? What time is it?” He whispered, voice thick with sleep. 

“I dunno, early. The sun was coming up not too long ago.” He groaned as if in physical pain and laid back down, covering himself with the blanket. 

“Too early.” 

“Come on, let's go, sleepyhead.” She tugged on the blanket until it slipped away, leaving him open. Ben was curled up in a ball, shielding his face from the light and only curled tighter after the blanket was rudely removed. His outer tunic was off, but his under and pants were on sans boots. He glared at her from beneath his arms. “Is this how it's going to be every morning?” He blinked at her before rolling over and feigning sleep.  _ Is he a kriffing baby? I should not have to wake up a grown man like this everyday. Un-believable.  _ “You're a real piece of work.” She made sure to slam the door as she left. It shut with a satisfying slam.  _ At least I brought my stuff. _ It would be a good idea to inform her grandmother of her safe arrival. 

\-----

“Rey! Glad to see you're still in one piece.” Leia purred. 

“I-- yes. Um, I heard something about a Republic banquet being held here. I was wondering if that was your doing.” She got straight to the point. 

“I guess the cat's out of the bag. I was going to surprise you. No matter, I hope you'll be attending. I did set this all up for you after all... not completely though. We do have an annual banquet, it was my turn to choose the location.” 

“Ben was ordered to go and spy... I hope nothing goes wrong. When will it be?” 

“A few days time, my dear.” Leia took in a deep breath from her nose and looked distantly to somewhere off screen. “It's a masquerade ball. He should find it comfortable.” She harrumphed bitterly. 

“I don't like his helmet. I did help create it, though.” 

“I agree. I never did have a thing for them. You can't see someone's expressions... it's a bit essential for a politician to gauge an audience's reaction. It's hard to do when everyone is masked, but for you, dear, I made an exception.” Rey halfsmiled at that, understanding completely how irritating masks can be. 

  
“Has be always been so hard to wake up?” Leia laughed. 


	74. Chapter 74

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To the beach goes our merry pair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some sad news.......... I have run desperately low on writing inspiration and after this chapter, I don't know. I've written a good part of 75, but I don't know what to write. I've hit a dead end. I need filler fun for the next few days for them to do before the banquet. Calling all readers, halp.

It was nearly noon when Ben woke up. He was ever thankful that Rey let him sleep in, having only fell asleep around three in the morning. She was in her room meditating on the balcony. He was still disheveled and in sleep clothes but he felt it imperative to greet her before anything else. 

“Rey?” He whispered, walking to lean on the balcony railing. She took in a slow breath but other than that she didn't move.

“You're up. About time.” She sighed evenly without opening her eyes. 

“I-- yes. Thank you for letting me sleep in. I couldn't get to bed last night.” His eyes were cast to the side when she stretched and held her hand out to help her up. He didn't need to be told. 

“It's too late for breakfast. I suppose we can have lunch before setting out. It has to be quick, though, because I intend to make up for the lost hours. Get dressed and I'll meet you in the dining hall.” Ever the spry one, she looked him up and down before fetching spare hair ties incase they fell out or broke and exited. Left by himself he slunk back to his room and opened the drawers to find offendingly light clothes befitting of a Jedi. He sneered as he pulled out a light beige tunic and matching bottoms.  _ How revolting.  _ He had half the mind to trudge on back to his shuttle and put on his familiar black garments but knew Rey would object. He begrudgingly moped into the room Rey was in by feeling her presence through the force, otherwise he'd be lost. She was waiting at a long table with two seats at the opposite ends. There was enough food for the both of them. She seemed relieved upon seeing him. His boots clicked with each long stride into the room toward the only empty seat. The room had a high ceiling with accompanying windows that were opened overlooking the blue river. He gave her a curt nod before sitting and grabbing the silverware. 

“I've been told that it's all locally grown food.” She blurted, causing him to set his utensils down and look at her. 

“Really.” He replied dryly, reaching for a plate of sautéed vegetables. Rey's plate was already full and she seemed hungry but she still waited for him to dig in before descending on her plate like a beast. Her eating habits always amazed him. “We're going down the river today. Am I allowed to assume I'll be teaching you to swim as well?” He asked, talking as he chewed. 

“We don't have to today-- I... we have a whole month.” She bellowed without meaning to before checking herself. Ben himself was a bit startled by her outburst and paused his chewing before continuing. 

“Right.” He purred, pleased that she was so eager to learn. If she'd been a dog, her tail would be wagging. 

\-----

“Come on!” Rey exclaimed a few paces ahead of him. They were nearly at their destination. 

“I'm coming. There's no need to rush.” He waved his hand around in a broad arch around him. The nature surrounding them was buzzing with life.  _ I bet she loves it.  _

“I know and I love it here, but I want to see the water. I want to feel the sand between my toes and the waves lapping at my ankles. I can hardly contain myself.” She pined, the earnest eagerness and longing plain. 

“I can tell. Face forward so you don't trip on a root or something. I don't want to have to carry you back if you get injured.” He was joking and yet he wasn't. If she got hurt that bad, he'd lose his mind before he could be of any use. She seemed to understand his meaning and slowed to walk beside him. Her childish mood became one of careful caution at his side. The change wasn't pleasant for him. “You know, you don't have to be _ so _ careful. It's not like something is going to jump out and attack you.” At her incredulous look she gave him, “not while I'm here at least,” he amended. They breached the tree line and stood in awe for a moment. Rey lingered longer than he. 

“This is...” 

“Beautiful; picturesque; magnificent... or, disappointing.” He quipped, not looking around but at her to gauge her reaction. She slowly shook her head, not looking at him but at the natural wonder surrounding them. 

“Perfect.” A giggle escaped her before she ran to him and hugged his middle. 

“Oof!” 

“Thank you, Kylo.” 

“Kylo? I thought I was being pretty Ben?” He asked genuinely kerfuffled. Rey stilled.  

“You are... it’s just-- I don’t know. Can we not talk about it right now? I kinda want to focus on the view.”

  
“Of course, that’s why we’re here after all. Be careful not to trip!” He reminded as she flung off her shoes and socks with abandon. All he could do was watch and sigh wistfully at his wonderful girl. She squealed at the surprisingly frigid water ran over her warm toes with all the excitement of a little girl. 


	75. Chapter 75

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God bless you all.

“Aren’t you going to join me, or are you going to stand around?” Ben had been watching her play around in the waves while he stood on the beach. 

“Not right now. Perhaps in a bit.” Personally, he didn’t like the water. The feeling of weightlessness and the inability to breathe successfully turned him off from it. It wasn't that he was a poor swimmer, it was just that he hated feeling weightless. 

“I bet you're only saying that ‘cause you're scared.” She mocked, going back to the shore to remove her outer tunic, snorting at the indignant frown playing on his lips. 

“What do you think you're doing?” 

“Enjoying myself.” Back into the water she went, this time up to her hips where she squealed at the temperature. He was getting apprehensive because of her lack of experience accompanied by the depth she kept pursuing. Hux would kill him if anything happened to Rey. Hux, the bastard general. Kylo would rather not think of him now, so he shook is head as if to clear his mind of the thought. 

“Listen, I’ll teach you how to swim tomorrow. You can practice every day after that, alright? Does that sound good?” 

“Yeah, yeah, but can you please come here for a second?” It seemed innocent enough by the way her voice and mind were clear. And so, he meandered over, squinting in the sunlight. He didn’t see when she bent down and chucked a wad of wet sand at him, aiming for his chest but instead hitting his face. Suddenly, his eyes closed instinctively and his mouth filled with salty sand, he instantly tried to expel it. 

“Oh-- oh-- Rey, why!?” He struggled to say between spits and hacks. Some of it got up his nose and he tried to blow it out. He could hear her snickering.

“I am so sorry, I was aiming for your chest, I didn’t mean-- haha.” She gave in to the laughter. He must have looked completely ridiculous bent over and trying to get rid of the sediment. “Are you-- are you alri--” He cut her off my tossing his own handful of wet sand at her face. It separated like a fragmentation grenade after it left his hand. Her hair, face, and chest were the casualties. Upon impact she stumbled back and landed on her rear in the shallow lapping waves. “Patooie.” Though he was still struggling to remove all the sand from his face orifices, he could still laugh at her and relish in his pathetic revenge. 

“Not so funny now, huh?” She was still too stunned to respond. Her eyes were still closed and she was pawing the sand from her cheeks. He mistakenly dared to approach her, leaning forward to lean on his knees in front of her and laugh. She was strong for such a small girl. In a split second she had him face first in the water, having used his own weight against him by pulling him forward. With still closed eyes, she laughed again. The water was cold and he felt every part of his body scream to get out and so he scrambled to his feet. The inside of his boots were waterlogged, he’d have to get new ones. 

“It’s still pretty funny.” She murmured, splashing him in the face. He sputtered but gave one of his own. 

\-----

“That was fun.” Rey said breathlessly as they entered the villa once more. By the time they returned their clothes were dry. Still, Rey was winded but full of energy. She never seemed to run out. 

“I never could understand your connection with nature, but I think I'm beginning to understand.” Kylo purred, patting her shoulder affectionately. “Now, go take a trip to the fresher, you smell like salt and sweat.” 

“You're not any better.” She sniffed, making a face before bounding off. 

\-----

It had turned out that the banquet was invite only. Ben had no trouble inviting himself in. Rey wore her luxurious golden gown with an offwhite, gold trimmed mask. Ben wore a similar one but in red and silver. 

“Make sure to stay close.” He whispered, guiding her through the crowds of masquerading partygoers. No one batted an eye at the pair. 

Leia had been scouring the crowds for Rey's signature hair whenever she got a moment to. She wanted to hug her in a tight embrace and kiss her cheeks and forehead. At the unprofessional idea, Leia cleared her throat.

“Is there something wrong, Prin-- General?” C3PO asked anxiously at her side. 

“I'm fine, just a little cough. Why don't you go talk to people?” Leia suggested, trying to get away from her golden companion. He gave away her identity. 

  
“Most certainly, madame. If you'll excuse me, it appears I have some fellow droids to meet.” With a curt bow, he scurried away in his telltale way. Finally, Leia was able to breathe a sigh of relief, having found a brief reprieve from introductions and handshaking. The aging general was donning a gray pantsuit from Coruscant.  _ Where is she?  _


	76. Chapter 76

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys.

“Are you looking for the refreshments, they're over that a way.” Kylo didn't even crane his neck to see above the rabble. Rey, on the other hand, couldn't even see it if she stood on her tippytoes and strained her neck. He walked her to the table of drinks and slices of exotic cheeses. “Can I trust you to stay here while I go do some business?” She'd nearly forgotten about his dirty task. “I'll only be gone for a few minutes. Try not to get yourself into too much trouble.” He left her as she frowned in disapproval at his retreating figure. If it weren't for his telltale gait, he'd have blended perfectly into the crowd. Free from his watchful eye at last, she sought out Leia. It wasn't incredibly difficult to spot the woman, even with the masks. Her presence in the force was warm and comforting. 

“General, it appears I have found you.” Rey drawled in a mock voice. Leia whipped her head around so fast, Rey thought she would snap her neck. “This is quite the party you've put together.”

“Rey?” She inquired uncertainly. Her adopted granddaughter rose her mask instead of speaking. The younger lady yelped as she was wrapped in a bear hug but soon returned the gesture. “You look beautiful.” Leia purred lovingly, patting Rey's cheek gently when they pulled away.

“Thank you.”

“Shall we go off to the balcony? It's almost impossible to hold a proper conversation over this kerfuffle.” Leia huffed, looking around them. The balcony was off to the side and basically free of people, save a few stragglers. The music and voices from inside were toned down enough that they could whisper and still hear each other. “Where-- where's Ben?” Leia breathed as if the name itself was painful to say. She even glanced around suspiciously as if someone would overhear. 

“He's off doing some nefarious spying by order of Snoke.” She gulped. “He's been doing his best.” Leia steeled, assuming that Rey was referring to the tasks Snoke had ordered. “He hasn't had one violent outburst since on the shuttle before we arrived. That was days ago. He's... really trying... for me. I told him that he needed to stop destroying things whenever he got upset and he's been listening.” Leia wasn't expecting that. Despite her better judgement, it gave her hope. Hope that maybe he isn't as lost as she thought. Rey looked down over the railing to the street below, smiling gently to herself. “He's smiled in the last cycle more than he has in years. I'd almost forgotten what it looked like.” Leia placed a hand on Rey’s as she gripped the rail. 

“I--” Leia began huskily, holding back tears. “I know how you feel.” She sighed, her words close to inaudible. Though untrained for the most part, Leia could still conceal her signature to a point. Ben had wrapped up meeting with the informant and was feeling for Rey. He made quick work of passing the crowd but froze at the high arching aperture of the balcony. His fists clenched and nostrils flared beneath his mask at the sight before him. His worst fear come true. His damned mother had met Rey. Sucking in a short breath he tore Rey's hand from Leia's. She yelled in protest while Leia took a step back, clutching a hand over her heart. 

“We're leaving.” His voice was low and clipped as he began to tug her away but she resisted. 

“We just got here.” Her hand was freed from his vice like grip only to have him spin around and hiss in hushed tones. An accusing finger was angled toward her chest. 

“And now we're leaving. I said not to get yourself into any trouble and that included danger and look what you've done. Look who you've been talking to!” His voice was harsh and hoarse as he moved his finger to point at Leia. Rey was on him in an instant as he took a threatening step toward the older woman who gasped. She could feel his incredible bloodlust but also confliction. With his attention forcibly turned back to her he growled before attempting to reign himself in. The few drunken people outside filed back inside so as to stay out of the trouble. Only once he relaxed to an acceptable level did she remove her hands from his suit jacket. This wasn't how she thought this would go. Leia was silent and Rey could sense the sorrow coming from her despite her best attempts to hide it. She gave her an apologetic pout. Rey glanced down to Kylo’s black leather gloves as the leather audibly squeezed as he clenched his fists tighter. It was Leia who broke the tense silence. 

“It was a pleasure meeting you both.” His eyes were set on her with such hate. It broke her heart once more. Seeing as to how Kylo was too wound up to be civil, Rey spoke for them both. 

  
“Yes, thank you. We thoroughly enjoyed the short evening. I am sorry for his temper.” Rey's next words were thick with warning as she bore holes into the side of his head with her stare. “He's as tempermental as the tempest, but he's been doing good at keeping himself in check. Isn't that right?” He didn't even have the courtesy to do anything but stare coldly at the woman who was his mother. Rey elbowed him in the side but still he didn't look away from the masked general. All Leia Organa could do was watch helplessly as two of the most precious children she's laid claim to disappeared into the crowd. 


	77. Chapter 77

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth is revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun DUUUUUUN.

“Calm down!? How in hell am I to calm down right now, Rey?” Kylo seethed once they were back at the villa. The entire trip back was spent in highly flammable silence that ignited upon arrival. 

“Oh, I don't know, by thinking with your brain instead of your ego for once?” Rey chirped derisively. 

“You ignorant little--” He growled. 

“Ignorant!? I may be untraveled, but I am  _ not  _ ignorant.” She spat, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction. It only served to agitate him further. He let out an anguished roar as he struggled not to punch the wall. “Thanks for ruining the night by the way. I was really looking forward to it.” A dark laugh caused her to jump. 

“Oh, you know nothing of ruined nights. And for your information,  _ I _ am going back to the party and you're going to be right here, grounded.” Angry tears blurred her vision. 

“That's not fair!” She screamed at his retreating figure. 

“Life isn't fair, get used to it.” 

\----- 

The last thing Rey wanted was to be caught crying in earnest, especially by the perpetrator. By the time Kylo returned in the early morning hours, she was out cold, having cried herself out. He timidly entered her room, her bedside light was providing a dull light to the space. Dried tear tracks were on her cheeks and he struggled to swallow the bile. The bile of knowing he was the cause. In his line of profession, remorse, regret, and grief were taboo. He stood there, staring blankly at her sleeping visage, neck deep in self loathing. Only when she turned over in her sleep did he snap out of his daze and retreat to his room. 

\-----

Through breakfast, she sat without looking at him. That didn’t stop him from watching her though. Before long, she finished her meal and excused herself. At that, he put his fork down with a sigh having lost his appetite. He hadn’t attempted to speak with her since the night before. Making the decision to try, he knocked faintly on her door. Instead of willing it open, she opened it herself and stood in the doorway sizing him up, an eyebrow raised.  

“Can we talk?” Was his timid proposal. She watched him for an uncomfortable moment before moving out of the threshold to let him in. Having taken this as a gesture of goodwill he entered and clasped his hands behind his back. She had yet to say anything, so he broke the silence. 

“Rey, we have to talk about yesterday.” At that she frowned and stood straightly, putting up her defenses. He took notice and sighed. “Surely, you had known that was  _ Leia Organa _ you were talking to. You were talking to one of the renowned generals of the republic. I hope you understand why I acted as I had.” She bit back a snide comment and let him continue. He would have laughed at her unbending will to remain silent. “Did she-- did she do anything to you?” His concern was obvious but she narrowed her eyes and refused to speak. It was no use yelling at her about it, especially when his purpose was to apologize. To calm himself and remain logical, he closed his eyes and took a slow, deep breath. “I understand if you’re mad at me, but please see my reasoning. My worst fear was actualized. I acted out of panic. I had to get you away from her as fast as I could. I hope you understand.”

“Why?” He raised his gaze from the ground to look quizzically at her as she steeled her jaw. 

“Pardon?” Ben wondered if he’d heard her right. 

“Why? Why do you think she’s so dangerous? She’s just a little old woman wanting to find peace. Is that so terrible?” He was floored and couldn’t find words. “You’re a lot like her, except you strive to create peace through tyrannical dictatorship.” She was getting worked up now. “Her method is more peaceful. Yours... is deadly.” Rey finished speaking with a pant. The flare of his nostrils gave away his feelings so she prepared for a rough ride. 

“You know nothing.” He hissed through clenched teeth. “You don’t know what she’s done- how she’s like.” He froze at her cold, barking laugh.

“No, it’s you who know nothing.” Narrowed, suspicious eyes bore holes into her as she was about to reveal everything. 

“You know something. She did something to you.” He sounded as if she had punched him in the gut. Slowly, she shook her head.

“Leia did nothing.”

“Then why? Why are you acting as if you know something I’m not privy to?” This was not going as he had planned. 

“I know she’s your mother and that she misses you.” He tensed, haunches rising. “She’s sorry she didn’t try to help you more. She regrets sending you to Luke... she still loves you.”

“Shut up shut up SHUT UP!” He roared, throwing a fist through the wall with ease. She didn’t flinch but she did frown in disappointment. 

“I’ve been in contact with her for a few years. She’s taken me as a grandchild despite not being blood related.” He swung around then and in a few large paces he stood glaring down at her.

“It was the attack on Moraband.” She nodded and he roared once more. 

“God damn it!” He clutched his head. “You said you got rid of it!” 

“I lied. Is that so hard to believe?” He glared at her with hurt laiden with anger. “If it means anything at all, I’m sorry for lying.”

  
“Don’t talk to me.” Kylo fled from the room.


	78. Chapter 78

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Graduation is coming up in June!! :)  
> I'm parched for fallout fics

_ Un-fracking-believable. She’s lied to me all these years and thinks a mere sorry will fix it!?  _ Kylo stomped around the villa in a daze, not thinking of a destination but choosing instead to wander aimlessly down the halls. The last person he wanted to see was Rey and he was ever thankful she chose not to follow him. He'd shut her out from the bond and she was doing the same. 

\-----

Leia stood in shock after Rey gave her spiel. She should have expected it, after the previous days turn of events.

“I will send a shuttle straight away. You said you were at the riverside getaway?” Rey nodded guiltily without words.  _ Kylo will be furious. _ After he’d left in a rush, she’d resolved to run away. Clearly, he didn’t appreciate her. “I’ll see you soon.” Leia purred before ending the call, lest her son walk in. He wouldn’t though, Rey could tell he was halfway across the compound, skulking about in his usual manner. Before long, a small, two-person ship was at her balcony. A young man was piloting. He looked sharp and relaxed. 

“Pick up for a Miss Kenobi?” He quipped with a wide smile. She mirrored it and hopped aboard. “Hey, the name’s Poe. I’ll be your chauffer for the night.” He was positively charming up close. Poe was older than her, she could tell, but not by much. “Nice to meet you.” He held a hand out for her to shake and she took it. 

“Hate to be impatient but unless you want an angry, wannabe Sith Lord hot on our trail we should really get going.” Rey stressed. 

“Affirmative, buckle up, Kenobi.” He warning before the ship lurched into motion. She had barely enough time to strap in. Behind them, the villa was quickly becoming smaller as they made distance. Once the immediate threat of being spotted faded, Poe struck up a conversation. He’d been intrigued by his idols rushed request. Hardly thirty minutes ago, he’d been in the mess hall chatting with his fellow aspiring pilots. “So... how do you know the General?” She studied him and contemplated her answer. 

“It’s a long story.” Though disappointed, he let her keep her secrets without protesting. Leia was waiting at the landing pad for her arrival. Rey had changed into comfortable travel clothes before leaving. Rather than rush to hug the older woman, she took even, measured steps beside Poe. 

“Here she is, General. All in one piece, might I add.” Poe provided. 

“If she wasn’t in one piece, you better bet your bottom credit, you’d be in the brig.” Rey wasn’t certain if Leia was joking or not. “Did you manage to slip away alright?” Leia purred to Rey, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder before guiding her inside. Once inside, they were met with a flurry of busy people who bombarded Leia. “Poe, please escort Rey to my quarters. I promise I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Leia remarked above the roar of needy people. 

“This way, young lady.” Poe drawled. “Where’re you from?”

“I don’t know.” Was Rey’s answer. “Moraband.” He looked at her in obvious surprise.

“I didn’t think anything lived there.” She couldn’t think of what to say to that, so she didn’t say anything. “I’m from Yavin-4.” 

“Were you at Luke’s Academy?” It was a stupid question but she had to ask. He let out a soft chuckle.

“Nope, I’m as force sensitive as a rock.” Rey blushed furiously, feeling stupid. Leia’s quarters were far into the compound. “And we have returned our destination.” Poe dramatically gestured to the space. It was sparse but Rey could see where Leia would stand whenever she called. On her bookcase were holophotos of her and her husband in dressy clothes. It must have been a wedding picture because Ben wasn’t present like in all the other pictures adorning the space. “I would get yourself comfortable. She'll probably be a good while.” She spun to face him, having nearly forgotten his presence. He was lounging nonchalantly on a comfy chair with his arms behind his head. Rey was nervous but did as he suggested, taking a seat on the couch across from him. There was a small coffee table in between them. 

“Is there something on my face?” She inquired uncertainly when she caught him staring at her. He flashed her a gentle grin and shook his head, brown locks shifting on his head.  

“No. I was just wondering how a young lady from Moraband came to be such good acquaintances with General Organa.” Frozen due to uncertainty and anxiety, she looked at her hands folded in her lap. 

“I--”

“Oh, Miss Rey! It is so good to see you in person.” C3PO chimed upon entering the room in his typical stiff manner. “And young mister Dameron as well!” Poe bowed his head politely at the greeting.  _ His mother raised him well. _ “I assume you are awaiting Princess Leia's appearance. The Princess told me directly that she would be here shortly.” She gave him a tight smile as he bowed and left the room. Once out of view, Poe sighed and fiddled with his coat. 

  
“The General doesn't like being called Princess. C3PO never seems to get it. I don't recommend calling her it.” He muttered, remembering the long lecture she gave him when he first entered the Resistance. At the time, Poe had came right up to her and addressed her by her title. In his memory, it seemed never ending. 


	79. Chapter 79

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calling in the infantry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God bless.

“This is possibly extremely rude, but how  _ old _ are you? You can't be more than twenty.” He chuckled, abashed.

“Actually, I’m above that. My dashing good looks can be deceiving.” Leia appeared in the doorway causing Poe to shoot up and stand at attention. 

“At ease.” Leia said, regarding him for less than a second before clasping Rey’s hands in her own with a twinkle in her eye. The older woman pulled her into a tight hug and patted her back. “How is Ben?” Rey tensed. When she left, he’d been skulking around. The expression flashing on Rey’s face caused Leia’s smile to turn into a frown. “He’ll get over it.” Leia turned to Poe. 

“General.” Poe said. 

“Officer Dameron, you may leave us. You’re free of your duties for the day. Consider it a thank you gift.” He saluted passionately before departing. With Leia’s attention back to Rey, Rey cowered and feared what she would ask.

“It’s a nice place, lots of people.” Rey tried. Leia pouted with a nod before taking Poe’s seat. 

“Yes, it is. Now, tell me what happened.” Her voice was soft and comforting. Over the comm, all Rey had told her was that something came up and she needed to go. Rey spilled everything and she listened with an occasional nod. When Rey finished she stared at her hands folded in her lap, waiting for Leia to say something. A silence ensued. “He probably hasn’t realized I’m gone.” It hurt to admit, but sometimes Kylo could be too wrapped up in himself. “He’s trying, he really is, Gram. He only broke something once when we were arguing.” Rey winced at how that sounded.  

“Rey, I understand how you’re feeling, but you mustn’t get your hopes up... you’re likely to be let down.” Leia’s voice lowered. “He is my son and always will be, but you are your own person. You are not an extension of him and he doesn’t own you. You mean the world to him but he needs to learn to appreciate you. Stay here for as long as you like, what is mine is yours.” 

“Thank you.” Rey had a troublesome thought. “I shouldn’t stay too long though, I don’t want him to panic and hurt you in an attempt to get to me. I would blame myself.” 

“Don’t worry about little ol’ me.” Leia winked and a smirk. “I still have some spunk left in me. Care to join me for the trip to the late queen of Naboo?” 

\-----

Within the hour, he had calmed down enough to possibly tolerate talking to her and thus went searching for her. He couldn’t sense her through the bond but he was hardly surprised since he had been blocking her out. Ben knocked on her door and waited. No response. He knocked again and waited. Yet again, no response. With brows furrowed in creeping suspicion he twisted the doorknob open to find it unlocked. The room was the way he’d last seen it, but Rey wasn’t there.

“Rey?” He called out, walking to the bathroom. The door was open and she was nowhere to be seen. For some reason he felt the need to check under the bed. She wasn’t there. His gut clenched and settled cold in his throat. Before he could jump to any conclusions he took a deep breath and willed himself to relax.  _ She’s probably in the courtyard or something. _ She wasn’t in the courtyard.  _ The dining hall? _ She wasn’t in the dining hall.  _ The-- the-- I need to ask if anyone saw her. _ Regrettably, he had to question the staff. They said they hadn’t seen her. He was running out of options. Settling into a meditation position on the floor where he stood in front of the staff he willed himself outward. He didn’t care if he got weird looks. He had to find Rey. 

Her location was impossible to pinpoint. She had grown adept at keeping him out. It didn’t do him any good, but he growled and nearly ran to his quarters to call Hux. Surely, Hux could find her. He had many informants in many different places whereas Kylo had none. Within a few long rings, Hux answered. 

“Ren, wha--”

“Hux, Rey has gone missing. I can’t find her.” Silence. “She could be anywhere by now. I last saw her about an hour ago. I-- it’s my fault.”

“Ren, you need to calm down and tell me what happened. I can’t help if you’re blithering like a bantha. Start at the beginning.” Kylo had to take a seat and a deep breath before even thinking of recounting what happened. The whole time he spoke, he regretted how he reacted and wanted someone to beat the poodoo out of him for being such an idiot. “Are there any security cameras around the perimeter?” 

“Yes, of course-- oh!” Kylo bolted for the security room and demanded to be shown the footage of last night. He held his breath. A small shuttle hovered next to her balcony. Rey jumped on. His breath caught in his throat and he felt sick. 

“Ren?” Hux was still on the comm. “Ren, did you find anything?” 

“Yes, I’ll send you the vid now.” He sent the clip of the pilot's face and vehicle. “I want you to send out a bounty for this man to every force forsaken cantina in the galaxy, I want him alive. I don’t care how much the reward, I want that man alive!” 

“The man appears to be a resistance soldier, Ren.” 

  
“I DON’T CARE. GET ME THAT MAN, BRENDOL!” He ended the call with a vicious snarl, smashing the teleprompter with his gloved fist. 


	80. Chapter 80

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need me some more smutty fallout fics with danse and/or maxson bruv...

Rey was quite enjoying the tour of Senator Amidala’s tomb with Leia. The woman was like a human holopad. If Leia hated Vader as much as she did, she definitely adored her mother all the more, Rey could tell. As Rey listened, the air was forced out of her lungs and she keeled over, gasping. She had been perfectly fine only seconds before. 

“Rey!?” Leia called in a panic. There was no reason for her to suddenly lose her breath as she had. “Rey, what’s wrong?”

“I-I-- He knows.” She croaked. His pressure on her mind was overbearing, it took all she had to keep him out. It was crippling, but then it was gone and she could breathe. Like she was drowning, she clawed around until she caught her breath. She found herself on the ground with Leia kneeling at her side. People were watching them quizzically. “Leia, he knows. He knows.” 

“Shh, shh. It’s okay. You’re going to be alright.” Leia cooed, trying to soothe Rey but also trying to convince herself. “I think that’s enough for today. Poe!” Leia hollered for her pilot. “Poe, get the speeder.” Confused, he still did as he was asked and soon returned to help her carry Rey. Easily, he carried her into his arms to lift her up and seat her. “We should get out of here before anyone suspicious shows up.” Rey nodded in agreement.

She was able to walk upon arrival. Leia insisted that she go to the medbay and get checked out but when they did, they couldn’t find anything wrong. Leia was lost but conceded in letting her rest. 

“Gram, I need to tell you something.” Leia’s interest was perked. “It has to do with what happened.” 

“I’m listening sweetheart.” The older woman let her gather her thoughts. 

“Me and Ben-- Ben and I... we share this thing. He called it a force bond. He said it was ultra rare. We can-- we can speak telepathically. We can sense each other's emotions no matter the distance. We can find each other. I-- today, I blocked him from finding me and he didn’t appreciate it.” Leia blanched before clenching her jaw. She’d never heard of such a thing.  _ And _ he  _ hurt _ Rey, it was too much. 

“He can use the bond to hurt you.” She mustered. Reluctantly, Rey nodded after some deliberation and Leia’s heart dropped and her eyes grew wet. “Does he do that often?” Rey gasped and frantically shook her head. 

“No! No, this is the first time that ever happened. I never blocked him so hard before and he was so desperate. His desperation knocked the wind from me. I’m sorry for worrying you.” There was genuine remorse in her voice. How far had her son fallen?

\-----

Her son sat in silence, brooding, staring at his commlink awaiting Hux’s call.  _ If he doesn’t give me results, I swear-- _ BEEP. He lunged for the comm and answered breathlessly, his body hardly having had time to understand he was in motion before he was. 

“Hux?” 

“Ren.” Kylo gulped and ran his fingers through his hair, it was a disaster on his head. 

“Tell me you found her.” He could hear Hux’s roll of the eyes. 

“I’m sending you the information as we speak.” Instantaneously, a security picture appeared with her being lugged away to a speeder with his damnable mother and that damned pilot. “She was last seen at the Amidala Tomb in Theed. As you can see, she’s with Leia Organa--” 

“I know that.” Kylo growled, cutting him off. Hux was unaffected. 

“And the kidnapping pilot. My informants have revealed that he is a mister Poe Dameron, a pilot for the resistance. His home planet is Yavin-4, he has brown hair and brown eyes--”

“Has he been captured yet?” Kylo ground out. He had no time to dally. The longer she was away, the higher the chance she was hurt, or even worse-- killed because of that cursed woman. 

“I'm afraid not. Unless you plan on leading a full on assault on their base there, no one can get him. I can, however, order a spy to kill him for you.” 

“You will do no such thing. I said I want him alive.” Hux sighed 

“I understand your concern, I am also fearful of how their propaganda will turn her against us. It  _ pains _ me to admit that we'll have to wait for an opportunity to arise.” Kylo pressed his fingers to his eyes and groaned, mumbling incoherently to himself as he did. “I can find out her current state if it would calm your manic behavior.” 

“...She told me to calm down too.” The distraught man whispered. “She’s hiding from me. Hux, do you-- do you think she hates me?” Even when on shore leave, the knight still bothered him. Hux would never admit that he too was worried about his star student. She was sane-- at least most of the time-- and could hold a pleasant conversation. That was something in short supply among his peers. 

“There is no way she hates you. This is probably just a big phase, those teenage rebellion years.” He rationalized, but even he could see the weakness of his argument. The knight was silent on the comm. The general wondered if he'd been heard at all. Perhaps the laser-brain was too wrapped up in his thoughts. 

  
“Find some way for me to speak to her. I want to see if she's well myself. I'm losing my ability to not fly over there and single handedly slaughter every goddamn person. I suggest you hurry, the Supreme Leader wouldn't like to start an open war quite yet.” He wasn't lying. The only thing keeping him from leaving the villa was that Rey would never forgive him for barging into the Resistance base. 


	81. Chapter 81

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun duuuuuuun

Rey hummed as she walked around Leia’s quarters, for she hasn't been granted free roam of the entire base. It was a security measure. At least Poe stayed around to keep her company while her adoptive grandmother was busy. There was a commotion in the hall that drew both their attentions. Poe had a wary hand over the pistol holstered at his hip. Weaponless, Rey took cover behind a corner in case she needed to quickly hide. Both occupants stared anxiously at the door. 

“...stay on the Falcon... busy,  _ Princess. _ .. allowed in...” A muffled male voice could be heard. 

“Please... inside that room... Ben's...” Leia’s pleading yet demanding voice spat. Without warning, the door opened to reveal a leather clad ruffian with Leia at his heels. At recognition, Poe sighed and relaxed, so so did Rey, but she was rightfully still wary. The strange man spotted her and sternly told her to step out from around the corner so he could get a look at her. He looked like an older, grayer version of the man in Leia's pictures. When she stood confidently before him, the man scoffed incredulously. 

“She looks nothing like ‘im. Just look at her do! Absolutely ridiculous. Are you sure she's--”

“Excuse me, but who are you to be so rude!? You may be her husband or something, but give her the respect she deserves. And I'll have you know, Ben's been putting my hair like this since before I was four years old.” Rey yelled indignantly, crossing her arms. If he wanted to be a nerf herder then so be it. His brows rose, having not expecting such a biting remark before recovering by turning to Leia. “And who are you to treat Leia Organa so poorly!? If I were a weaker willed person, I'd have broken your nose from your indiscretion.” He balked at Leia snickering behind him into her palm. 

“She certainly has your spunk.” He murmured, losing just a bit of his disbelief. Rey was confused as to how that meant anything. The ex-princess picked up on it and made one thing clear.

“Han, she's not biologically his.” Digesting her words his scowl returned. 

“He's devolved into kidnapping then. I always told you there was too much--”

“ _ Han! _ ” Leia hollered. Everyone in the space jumped. “Han, he didn't kidnap her... she's from the Academy. He saved her.” She spoke softly, starkly different from moments before. Rey and Poe watched as bystanders to the shared pained expressions on the couple's faces. Distantly in the back of her mind, she imagined how Ben would be if he were more like his dad, or not force sensitive, or stayed with his parents.  _ He wouldn't be murdering innocents for a living.  _ She thought absentmindedly. 

Meanwhile, Ben was losing his mind. 

“She’s mine. She's mine. She'll come back. I'll take her back. She'll be safe. I'll protect her. She's so fragile. I must rescue her. I will rescue her.” He was rambling to himself like a madman, staring blankly at the ceiling. He'd tossed himself onto his bed after ending the call with Hux. Impossible plans flitted in and out of his racing mind. The idea that she left willingly was incomprehensible. The notion would break him if he acknowledged the possibility. Ren was not a weak man... but he was not impervious to her. For her, he would rend worlds apart, lay waste to entire species. No foe could stand between them. No fool could keep her from him. It was he who knew her best. Him who raised her all these years when he was barely grown himself.  _ Her droid is still here... did she leave that transceiver thing too? _ With a furrowed brow, he rummaged through her bag, thinking it was still in there. When it wasn't, he looked around the room for it. It was on the floor next to the bed, covered with her blanket that was halfway into the floor. Dropping to his knees, he took it and tuned to the last used comm and called.  _ If this doesn't work... _ he didn't know what he'd do. 

\-----

Both women stared at each other as Leia’s private comm rang, knowing, somehow, exactly who was calling. Rey's breath was caught in her throat and her gut twisted guiltily. She shouldn't have ran away. He was surely angry with her. The older woman moved to answer the comm before it stopped beeping, a neutral scowl morphing her delicate features. Her husband paced to look over her shoulder. 

“Hello, Ben--” Leia began huskily. 

“Where is she?” The distraught man interrupted. His hair was a bedraggled mess and his expression was no different. He'd clearly been worried sick to the point of insanity by the look in his eyes. When Leia didn't immediately supply an answer and Han snapped out of his stupor, he repeated his inquiry. “I  _ said _ where is she?”

“She's fine, son.” Han drawled. Kylo snapped his eyes away from his traitorous mother at the raspy sound as if only just noticing his presence. He glanced between the two of them before his lip curled in disgust. 

“I see you two have gotten along without me.”

“Oh, no, Ben.” Leia desperately tried to get through to him. “We've hardly been on the same planet since...”

  
“Since you got rid of me, yes, I know. Where is Rey?” Ben shook his head as if to get back on track. “You know where she is and I know it.” He seethed, nostrils flaring as he tried to keep his voice in check. “I would order for your pitiful base to be destroyed in a blaze of fire if it weren't for Rey being there. I would tear you limb from limb--”


	82. Chapter 82

“Ky--Ben, stop this.” His eyes widened as she came into view. Leia rested a soft hand on the girl's shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Stop freaking out and calm down.” His hackles rose in remembrance. 

“How am I supposed to calm down when you're in the company of thieves and murderers!? You're in the sarlacc pit of scum, Rey! I can't even fathom the very notion of  _ trying  _ to calm down.” He was yelling flat out now. “And what is this, the sinful device in which you've been not only betraying my trust but also committed treason? I'm in utter denial. Tell me, am I really so intolerable?” His sentences weren't coherent to a main idea and she had trouble keeping up. “And who is that damned pilot to you anyway!? The balls on that one--” He growled, sneering and shaking his head in disgust. 

“See, this is exactly why I left. You can't control yourself and you don't care about me.” The speed in which he turned his face back to her should have snapped his neck. 

“How dare you? You, you are the only thing I care about in this goddamn galaxy--” Rey chirped coldly.

“Uh huh. I'm a thing. I'm not even a person in your eyes.” She shook her head derisively. Leia and Han found it appropriate to leave. Poe had long since taken it upon himself to stand guard in the hallway to give them all privacy and was therefore ignorant of the happenings inside. 

“You will not twist my words, Rey. You know how important you are.” He warned. “I would tear apart worlds for you. No one else has that power over me.” His voice was thick but earnest. It struck her that he was being genuine. Still, she was indignant, tapping her foot, tongue in cheek. They studied each other silently. 

“When are you planning on coming back? To the villa.” He tested. His mental health depended on her answer. Her silent contemplation was maddening enough. 

“When you stop letting your anger get the best of you.” He snorted at the absurdity, positive that her condition was impossible. “If you can't even do that much, how do I know you won't lose control and hurt me one day?” The incredulous smirk slipped from his face. Did she genuinely think he'd lay a hand on her? 

“You-- You’re scared I'll hurt you? I've never struck you or even spanked you growing up. How can you be afraid that will change?” She pursed her lips, brows knitting together as she looked off screen to where he presumed his mother was. 

“You choked me earlier.”  _ What?  _ His apparent ignorance spurred her on. “We were at Padmé’s tomb and you tried so hard to get into my head, past my barriers. The wind was knocked out of me, I had to be carried out by Poe.” He felt sick. In his desperation to find her, he'd unintentionally hurt her through their bond. He'd slain countless innocents in the name of the Order but never before had he felt so sick of himself. He gasped frantically as he wrapped his head around the idea. “You probably didn't mean to, but the thought that you could hurt me through the bond is troubling to say the least.” She grimaced, remembering how her legs had given out and how it felt like she was kicked in the chest. Her heart ached for him and the way he visibly collapsed in on himself. “Ben, say something.” His silence had her worried. If it weren't for her rash decision to escape, he wouldn't be such a mess. 

“There's nothing to say.” His eyes were lifeless and his expression as slack as his body as he leaned against the edge of her bed at the villa. 

“I'll come back in a few days, I promise.” He limply shook his head. 

“Don't bother, I'm a danger to you. You're safer where you are.” Ben's frown was quivering as his voice shook. “I never meant to hurt you. I'm not worthy of your trust or compassion. I... truly am a monster. This whole trip was a feeble attempt to make you not hate me. This trip was a sham. You belong here, among the greenery. I belong elsewhere. Maybe this is for the best--” 

“Don't say that. I loved coming here, if only because you were with me, you foolish bantha. Don't go anywhere, stay where you are at the villa. I will be back soon.” 

\-----

Ben was numb. So was his butt from sitting on the floor for so long, but that's besides the point. He didn't know what to do with himself. For a while after the call ended, he stared up at the ceiling. He had the vague urge to smash her transceiver to pieces but decided against it. Hux was comming him but Ben hardly heard it ring. Lazily fumbling for the commlink he answered but didn't speak. 

“Ren.”

“...” 

“I do hope you haven't done anything stupid.” Hux sighed. “Have you gotten any information or have you been sitting on your arse all day?” 

“She said she's coming back.” Ben whispered. 

“That's great. You managed to resolve the situation yourself. You're really growing up, Ren.” The general jeered. No response or retort so he cleared his throat. “Do you want me to retract the bounty on the--”

  
“No. Keep the bounty up.” Kylo got up from the ground with a huff and headed to his room. “The bastard will probably be dropping her off.” 


	83. Chapter 83

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have some good news, and some bad news. The good news is that this chapter is extra long. The bad news is that its the last chapter. I apologize for not saying so in advance but this fic has been going on for like five months and its a wonder my attention span has lasted this long. Many thanks to those who left me kudos, subscribed, commented, bookmarked, etc. I love you all, I couldn't have gotten through a great many writers blocks without you.  
> <3 
> 
> Reylo forever and ever and Canon.

Han Solo was the one to return Rey. The two had sat in uncomfortable silence. Even the brown haired wookiee didn't voice a word. The seasoned pilot had merely grumbled at her whenever she bothered to start a conversation. To Rey's relief, it was a short trip. The smooth smuggler she'd heard so much about, turned out to be a rough ruffian with little to no manners. She was disappointed. Leia deserved better than an absentee husband. 

“I only flew you because I want to see my boy. I hope you know that.” Han said upon landing, Chewbacca roared in agreement. Ben wasn't at the landing dock. 

_ I'm back. Where are you? I'm at the hangar. _ Rey sent to him. He wasn't blocking her out, thankfully. 

_ In the villa.  _ She rolled her eyes.  _ Someone's with you. Is it the pilot who stole you away?  _

_ No, I'm with... your father. _ A flurry of emotions were sent through instead of words.  _ He wants to talk to you.  _

_ Tell him to frack off. I don't want to hear a word he says. He's a swindler and all he does is lie. Send him away and come find me.  _ Rey sighed at the finality of his tone.  _ If you don't, I can't promise he'll leave here alive.  _ He wasn't lying. She could tell, though, she couldn't decipher why he felt the need to voice it. 

“Solo--”

“It's Han, runt.” 

“ _ Han _ .” Rey emphasized, trying not to throw insults at him for his jab. “Kylo doesn't want to see you.” The man's weathered face grew red. He marched into the villa blind, Chewie roaring as he chased after his friend. Han was going to have a few choice words with his son. “Hey! Wait! Did you hear what I said? He doesn't--”

“Shut it, pest. I don't care.” She latched onto his arm and refused to let go. “Let go of me.” He clipped, trying to tug away. Rey quickly shook her head and swallowed. 

“No. You should care, because he plans to kill you if you appear before him. For Leia's sake,  _ please _ , go back to the base before it's too late.” Bringing up his wife sealed the deal. They may not get along on many things, but he still loved her dearly. He sulked back to the  _ Falcon _ after a glance at his wookiee companion who was on Rey's side. 

“You really are like her, girl.” He hollered back to her as he retreated, patting Chewbacca's back. The pressing force in the air abated upon his exit. Ben was hardly controlling what he was projecting. She may have been imagining it, but Han was warming up to her. Before searching Kylo out, Rey went back to her room and organized the place. She'd left it a mess before she abandoned ship. Once the space was relatively clean, she noticed Kylo standing in the doorway. He looked disastrous. Absolutely unkempt. 

“Force, you look like shit.” She blurted. He just stared at her. “I'm... I'm sorry.” 

“Don't be. It's not your fault. It's mine.” He admitted begrudgingly. Her brows rose. He huffed and pursed his lips, looking to the floor. “Promise me you won't leave like that again, I was losing my mind with worry.” Rey pouted.  _ He drives a hard bargain.  _

_ It's not ‘driving a hard bargain,  _ Rey, _ it's called making sure you won't be running away.  _ Of course, he had picked up on her little thought. Her frown intensified.

“Stop barging into my head whenever I'm not focusing on locking you out. It doesn't exactly help when you can read my thoughts.” A shared sigh. 

“I can work on that, sure, but in return you have to stop provoking me whenever you feel like it.” 

“So be it but it's not my fault if you get upset by what I say. I won't go out of my way to terrorize you.” She offered.

“That's certainly a start. We can build from there.” He nodded his head and stuck out his hand. “Deal?” Taking his hand in hers and giving it a shake, she sealed the deal. “Good, I have to go tell Hux that you've returned. He's been worried about you as well. I'm not going to remove the bounty on that- that Poe fellow. I do hope you don’t mind if I keep a close eye on you, just making sure. It's not that I don't trust you--” When he looked up, she was grinning. It was disconcerting and doing nothing for his nerves. “Why are you- why are you smiling like that?” Rey started to laugh. “What's so funny?” What was funny was how the top people for an entire militant organization were concerned over her safety. A mere girl. Slowly, her laughter died down. Ben shifted on his feet. 

“I'm still upset with you over ruining the banquet, but I know you'll make it up to me.” His eyes brightened at that and held his arms out to welcome her into a hug. She returned it but sniffed and pushed away. “Phew, you stink. Go to the fresher, smelly!” Rey exclaimed, crinkling her face. He sputtered but gave in with a sigh. She was right. He smelled absolutely repulsive. A few days of not taking care of ones self did that. 

She watched him leave, waiting until she heard his door open and shut before meditating on the balcony. The hole he'd previously punched in the wall was still there. He didn't take long in the fresher and was sitting beside her for a while before she noticed. His gaze pulled her from her meditation. 

“Anakin taught you how to meditate.” It was partially a question but also a statement. Rey only nodded. “I'm not mad, in case you're wondering. I'm actually glad. He was a great Jedi in his day. He'd have eventually been added to the Jedi Council if it weren't for his being so maverick.” He fidgeted and flexed his jaw. “I think I'm jealous.” She stared at him, wide eyed. He snorted at her surprise. “I'm not blind to the differences in Snoke and Anakin's training. They both offer very different avenues. I'm glad you let Anakin teach you instead of Snoke. He'd have corrupted you and I don't think I could have tolerated that.” Rey shivered at the thought. “I know I live a cursed life. I don't want that for you.” He confessed. “I would have preferred finding out about Anakin from you instead of from Snoke.” 

“I was afraid you'd get mad.” 

“Why would I get mad, my lovely girl?” She snorted. 

“Your track record backs up my fear.” He opened his mouth to protest but closed it with a nod.

“I suppose you're right, I'm sorry about that. I wish I were more levelheaded, if only for your sake.” He took a shaky breath. “You mean the world to me. You're all I have.” 

“That's not true. That's what you choose to believe. There are people who would sacrifice everything just to see you happy.” Ben knew exactly who she was talking about and scowled. His heart to heart was over. 

“It's nearly time for dinner. We should head for the dining hall.” He clipped. Rey was visibly disappointed but decided it would be better to give him time. Eventually, she resolved to get him to be on neutral terms with his parents. He may not like it, but she wouldn't stop until the family could talk things out, bury old demons. His broad shoulders and wall of a torso walked in front of her in his usual predatory gait. She wondered if he even noticed how intimidating it was to other people. As if she would take a chance to escape him again, he kept looking over his shoulder to make sure she was there. 

“I'm not going anywhere. At least, not until I get some grub.” She joked but it was lost on him judging by how he stopped walking and how she ran into him like hitting a wall. He basically was a fleshy wall of muscle. “I was joking.” She sighed evenly, telling him nonverbally that she wasn't planning on leaving any time soon. Her last excursion was a wild ride. 

“It wasn't very funny.” He grumbled. The man had no sense of humor and Rey was still learning proper humor. Not a comedians favored combination. 

\-----

Han returned to Leia, wanting very much to storm back to his son and rip him a new one. Chewie tried to comfort the inconsolable smuggler but it was in vain. Leia was waiting on the tarmac for him to step off the  _ Falcon. _

“How was he?” She inquired uncertainly, sighing when he said nothing. “How was Rey? Did she get back safely?” She sniffed. 

“She's as safe as any child in the hands of a psychopath.” Han grunted. 

“Han, that's your son you're talking about.” Leia scolded in hushed tones. 

“My  _ son, _ wouldn't promise to kill me if I met him face to face. He'd stab me through with that goddamn glowstick of his!” Han fumed. Chewie backed away, telling those around to clear the area and give the couple some space while also corralling them inside. 

“He did not say that.” Leia gasped in disbelief, clutching her chest. 

“Yes, he did. He did.” Han sighed resigned. “I don't see how  _ I _ still have hope he'll come back to us.” Han admitted in a moment of weakness. Leia rested a soft hand on the man's cheek and rubbed her thumb across it in comforting motions. 

“I know, Han. I know.” She laid her head against his chest and his arms engulfed her in a long embrace. 

\-----

“You're floundering. You're wasting too much energy. You're going to drown.” Ben grunted, chest deep in the water. Rey was having trouble catching on to swimming. They'd been at it for the past cycle and she had made little to no progress. He sighed and pulled her up to catch her breath, she clung to him like her life depended on it. In a way, it did. “I'm beginning to believe you're not meant to swim.” 

“No! I want to learn. It's a helpful skill.” He rose a brow. “In case there's a flood or we crash on Kamino or some other water covered body.” She splashed him in the face. He pushed her back into the water to flail about. Ben knew when she would be in serious danger of drowning. They'd worked out that she'd tap into the bond when needed. As of then, she had only done so twice. “Ben-- that was-- mean!” She yelled when she could get the air. 

“Yup. So was splashing me in the face. I got water up my nose.” He returned. “I would stop talking and focus on floating.” Ben had to admit that he wasn't the best teacher. Instead of watching her spasm, he let himself float, perfectly content. His skin would be red as lava by the end of the day, but for now he was enjoying the sun. With little to no clouds, it was basically uninterrupted sunshine. He dared to close his eyes. Besides the splashing from Rey, it was quiet. When her splashes died down Ben had to make sure she wasn't drowning. 

“Look! I'm-- doing it!” Rey exclaimed, exhausted from the effort. He smiled. It was one of those things Rey loved but never got often, like a rare candy from the outer reaches. A toothy sort of thing, eyes crinkling. It disappeared not long after it formed. She nearly whined when his lips returned to their usual line. At least his eyes were still full of mirth. 

“Good job. It only took, what, two cycles?” He smirked good naturedly. 

“One cycle, actually.” Rey sighed, moving closer to shore at a turtles pace. “I wanna take a break. You brought lunch, yeah?” 

“I did indeed.” 

\-----

He'd had the staff cut up the fruit into bite sized pieces in an attempt to get Rey to slow down when she ate. Still, she ate like a wild animal, starved of nutrition. He'd never get over that. 

It suddenly occurred to him that he wasn't the only one who was raising her. There were others, like Phasma and Hux. Each specialized in different fields where he was lacking. Phasma with her motherly coddling; Hux with his intel to broaden her mind. If anything, they took care of her more than he did. He'd been on too many long missions and stayed away for too long.  _ That's going to have to change _ . If he could make up for the times he was away, he would in a heartbeat. Ben pondered how he'll make it up to her after their vacation ended. She was a ball of energy that refused to be controlled. No one person could contain her for long. Thankfully, Ben had back up in the form of an army, a giant woman and a ginger man. Ben would never admit it, but he also had his parents and Anakin to thank. _ Hell, I have the entire First Order at my back. If things had been different-- _

“Ben, watch me climb this tree!” Rey exclaimed, putting a halt to his thoughts and jogging toward a rather tall tree.  _ Oh force preserve me. _

“Rey, I swear. If you lay one hand on that-- Rey! I'm speaking to you.” He didn't dare take his eyes off her as she rose among the rungs. 

“I know, and I'm in the middle of something.” He could hear Rey utter. His heart was in his stomach, if she fell-- 

“Hey! Look a’ me!” The spry young lady yelled to get his attention.

“I see you.” She wasn't too high up but she was high enough that it would hurt a bunch if she fell. “I see you, now get down from there before you get hurt.” Surely, no other child was so unruly. 

“Relax, Ben. I'm fi--” She lost her footing. 

“Shit!” Ben dashed to catch her before she met the dirt, hard. He only just got into position when she fell into him, causing them both to fall due to gravity. They both were panting. His side hurt and he was sure he pulled something in his shoulder. “Are you alright?” He winced as she got up off him, looking no worse for wear if only a little ruffled. “What did I tell you--”

“I'm sorry.” She blurted, kneeling to help him up. His shoulder was definitely sore. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Are you alright?” The words were spewing from her mouth. 

  
“I'm fine. I told you this would happen.” He weakly scolded, trying not to move his arm. She was already bounding off for their supplies while he was slowly lumbering over. With finesse he hadn't taught her, she put a bacta patch over his shoulder where apparently there was a gash. He probably landed on a jagged rock. With knowledge he hadn't given her, she detailed exactly what she was doing as he hands worried away at his aches. Yet she maintained proper beside manner befitting a politican. He was right. It really did take an Order to raise a Rey. 

**Author's Note:**

> Kylo: *Returns, brusque and out of breath from his tantrum, ever careful that Rey is unawares* Hux, Phasma. Rey, let's go.  
> Hux: *Stares into the camera like the Office as she skips over to Ren*


End file.
